Cosplay, Work and Competence

Competence: Some people judge me cause of my grades, my results... Think I'm good... Truthfully, I don't think I am. People look at my results, make assumptions, carve their own impression of me... Without knowing me. Without taking the effort to know me.

I hate that.

I hate it when people say stuff like: "Aiyah, what cannot... You JLPT 1 leh!"

To hell with JLPT 1.

I took it, what, 2 years ago? Passed it on the DOT too. I was facing the principal of the Hiroshima Institute of Technology Polytechnic the other day, and I couldn't say a word. All I could do was smile and nod. Even when I wanted to say something I found that I didn't know how to.

I have no confidence, I have no ability.

Now, please stop with all these assumptions made from looking at my grades. It isn't just for Japanese, it's for everything. IT, school, friendships, dancing... Whatever.

Don't judge me from paper, from what you don't know.

Save your judgements for after you know me.

Please.

Class Outing: We had this outing a few days back, to gather with our friends whom were all flying to China for their overseas internship. We had a load of fun at Clarke Quay, and it was really great spending time with all of them =D We even took some photos~

For quite a few of them, I know that it was a long-awaited break from all the hassle and stress that came about from our schoolwork and projects. For me, it was a break alright, and an eye-opener.

Got to walk around Clarke Quay at night (which I've not exactly done before) and I got to walk past the street where all the clubs and pubs were... Twas interesting ^^ Clarke Quay in the morning and at night are seriously 2 extremely extremely different places.. (I should know. I used to frequent Clarke Quay a LOT in the morning)

Thank you to Eunice and Michelle for accompanying me to Spotlight before meeting up with the guys(the queue in Spotlight and looking at the stalls at PS caused us to be late though... Sorry..!!). It was nice to hang out with you guys, even if it was just a while ^_^

Cosplay Performance: Ok, I just came back from a 4 hour session with the cosplayers... I'm a backup dancer for the Hare Hare Yukai dance, and I seriously just CAN'T get it right. Maybe I've taken a break from dance for too long. My memory span is like what, 10 seconds now? @_@ ARGH! I've been practicing for the past 20min or so in front of my computer and I STILL can't keep up. And the dance segment's like only 30 seconds or something..! Oh noooooo.... I'll make myself practice and listen on the way to school and back or something.

Load of things to do: I have a TRUCKLOAD of things to do at the moment... When I met up with the cosplayers, I really saw how stressed the lot of them were, rushing not only theirs, but everyone else's costume, armour, accessories and what-nots. Dusty almost broke down, Skye was majorly stressed, Cat brought the crosses she had to do and was constantly working on it everytime we took a break, Mark was skipping work, and everyone was doing something or another, or helping someone else with something. Everyone was having a lack of sleep, everyone was going to sacrifice their sleeping time to complete what they can for the team.

Me? I've got school. At that moment it seemed a very weak excuse as to why I could not settle, at the very least, my own costume. I'm going to have to do this, one way or another.

It's just a LOAD of things these few weeks... Next Saturday is the event (in which I need to collect the costume, attach my armour, get my wig done, sew my skirt and attach the lace and get the dance right), and then Clar's graduating from his BMT on Tuesday... And so I'll probably have to find some time to spend with him. Adding to that is this dance performance I REALLY want to see on Wednesday.

And that shitload of things up there probably means that I will be squeezing any possible tiny bit of time for my FYP, and seriously, even _that_ is really screwing up big time too.

I just need to survive till the middle of January. Get all this settled. Get all this done. Properly. Nicely. Well.

Wish me luck. I need to learn to cope with less sleep. I have to. I need to.

Cosplay: Seeing the team and how everyone worked together, I'm reminded of why I've been staying in Cosplay all these years... I see now, why Andrea loves the team so much. 1/2 of them probably don't even know who I am, but I really starting to feel this fondness for them...

Am I still going to retire..? I have no idea. But then again, I'd likely have no cash to support my costume for next year... Guess I'll have to take it as it comes. I'll decide again when the time comes.


Signing off... ...
Busy

Sick

Tonsillitis: Ok, don't mind me, I'm gonna bitch abt my throat. Ok I think it's not just tonsillitis, but also lik swollen throat and all, but it worsened like hell last night, and from then I just couldn't take it anymore.

Finally went to see the doc this morning, and when she checked she was like =O "omg, why's it so bad?" Then gave me this look. ^^;; She gave me fever medicine, told me that a fever will probably be coming up, and when I told her it came 4 days ago, you could literally see her go -_-"

Heh. Alright, so I should have gone to see the doctor sooner... But hell, I didn't know it was gonna get _so_ much worse -_-"

I spent the entire day conversing with people using notepad ^^;; I teared once I think, in school, when the entire stretch across the throat got damn pain.. And then I promptly started searching for my Strepsils. Swallowing is hell now, I tell you. Terrible.

Can't drink too much water, cause it'll clear whatever layer there is over my tonsils and throat and then it'll start getting super pain again... Strepsils helped me loads today cause it coated this layer across my throat and stuff and it didn't hurt as bad >_<

I just hope all this goes away soon.

It feels hell terrible.



Signing off... ...
Oh gawd, my throat......

Emo Post

Tired: Now's just one of those times when I just wanna be alone, with me, myself, and a working, not-lagging computer.

One of those times when you just don't feel like dealing with anyone, not having to deal with anything... And well. Not talking.

Actually I have a lot of things I wanted to kind of blog about... But... nah.

School: Have so many things on my hands now... I have approximately a maximum of 5 and a half days a week that I can really do my projects. Approximately.

I feel like doing quite a lot of things. Play bridge, play Munchkins, play Citadels, hang out with friends, go for that Miyazaki gathering that was last week, go watch a movie with manda [sorry i couldn't go... =(], go for the activities in school, go for the dinner award presentation to see my friends get their award, chill without having all my work stuck to the back of my mind...

Wish I could juggle all my work, wish I could satisfy everyone's expectations of me.

Wish I could.

Really do.

Random Thought about Life: Everyone's life is different. What we're doing, what difficulties we're facing, what problems we have, how we are, are all different. Perhaps some are similar here and there, but some are just extremely different in nature...

You can't just apply what you feel, and how you look at things to others so easily and deem them just as important, or not as important, when the situations in which others are in are so different.

Don't you think so..?

Walk in the park: I love walking through the park, seriously. It's a nice place to think, and a nice place to observe people... Every morning I see a LOT of old folks, and not so old folks, exercising, bringing their grandchildren to walk around to observe nature, doing taichi (i think?) and of course, others just like me rushing off to school/work (though those people usually take another route and run across the road so that they get to the MRT 'faster')

In the evening, you see the younger ones in their teenage years or 20s doing their jogs, exercising, rollerblading, the younger kids walking with their friends talking about school, about games, or playing and throwing stones at each other (my leg got hit once while walking past -_-"). Sometimes you see groups playing the guitar, singing, discussing.

At night, there are still a few doing their jog, some sitting and staring at the fish, old couples sitting around and chatting, younger couples sitting around and, well, usually chatting, sometimes sitting on each other and chatting [which makes me slightly uncomfortable], and some sitting around and doing their work.

Such a lot of things moving and going on around us... The beauty of everyday life... And yet, we're usually too caught up in our own lives (or drowning in our own 'misery') that we never take the time off to observe the little things around us.

It really is a pity.


Signing off... ...

EOY Panic Attack

Cosplay panic: Omg. EOY is in like, a month's time... And I still have my costume to settle. Skye just posted on the livejournal community, stating that every weekend from now till EOY is 'Manual Labour Weekend'. Where all of us are supposed to go someone's place to chiong some costume.

Which, obviously, I will not be able to go for -_-"

Crap.

There's like a bag with my circle skirt's cloth inside, which I'm supposed to sew to cut down cost, Skye's poofy thingy (which ive forgotten the term for) which I'm supposed to make more poofy (and obviously don't have the time to) and that wonderful mostly done costume at the tailor's that I will need to touch up on, and that whole bunch of armour that we are supposed to attach to the costume, and the crosses and stuff that we're supposed to make and settle.

And that's just my costume.

Oh, crap.

I wish I could pull out now, but I can't.

I swear, I'm retiring after this event.

The costume will have to settle itself, somehow or another. I'll figure that out when I have the time.


Signing off... ...
Too busy to think about anything other than schoolwork

FYP: On to Phase 2

FYP: FYP has taught me a lot of things... About myself, about others, and well. Yeah. My group stressed the poor leader out some time back... I don't know how much I managed to help when it was nearing the report submission, but I hope I managed to help, even if just a bit.

My leader's blog: A month or so back, some people told me to view my leader's blog post. They said that they thought what he said wasn't fair, wasn't warranted, wasn't right.

I went to go look, and surprisingly, I could see more of his view than those who informed me about the post.

The sad thing was, I couldn't do anything much about it. I couldn't really lighten his load cause I couldn't see where he was headed, what he wanted to accomplish. Couldn't really get through to him at times either when I wanted the best for the team and the project too.

While he was stressed, I was breaking down too. For different reasons, of course, but it wasn't any easier.

Through this phase: Learnt a lot about this group... About the people, and how they work. In the beginning I could hardly talk to anyone, but thankfully I can talk to practically all of them now. I work best with, well... The one I'm currently grouped with, so... =) That's a good thing.

Starting of FYP: I recall the start when I was quite shocked and not used to the way the group worked. The way one person dominated all, and some just wanting to do what they are told to. I tried to help the leader, but with no idea as to what he was coming up with for the group, I could do little but ask what I could do, what he could give me to share the workload.

That hardly acheived its objective. It was difficult for me to put my two cents in, extremely difficult, and with most of the group not knowing me, debates turned out looking like arguments to them.

The team wasn't much of a team at first - It hardly gelled together. It was a group I kept wanting to run away from.

But now, it's different.

The group, now: Knowledge and understanding goes a long way, that's the least I can say. And while I doubt I'm really helping that much right now, I hope that I'm seen, at least, as part of the team. Someone they can trust. Someone they can work with.

I have put in what I can for Phase 1 (though I have to say I hated and kept getting overloaded looking at the diagrams I had to do due to the sheer number of relationships between the tables... Therefore missing out some stuff), and hopefully it's enough.

Chionging through Phase 1 has really shown how everyone works, who I trust, and how I should work with certain people.

Phase 1 is now over, and hopefully this knowledge will bring me through Phase 2.

Wish me luck.


Signing off... ...
Trying to work

Stupid Annonymous Society n NYDC

FUN POST!

Settlers: YES I went settlers again =D It was relatively short, late, and well, not that many people, but it was dead fun!! =D I learnt how to play munchkins and it was real cool!

Citadels - First game: It started off really hilarious with Huiyong declaring that we didn't need the guy to teach us the rules cause 2 of us played before. Seconds into the game, we realised that he wasn't as sure of the game as we first thought he did.

After we finally got started, this friendly staff approached our table and asked if he could help. William promptly answered with a "Yeah, can you refill my drink?". It was only after he came back that we found out he meant if we wanted him to teach us the game cause the rules for the 3-player version was different.

That got me laughing non-stop ^^;;

SAS: William, Huiyong and I founded the 'Stupid Annonymous Society' during the outing... Mainly cause the 3 of us did a lot of stupid things that day ^^;; The funniest 'stupid thing' was at Paradigm Infinitum (this board game shop) when HY dropped one of the games, and while catching it, hit the shelf and caused another to drop. Said pattern happened twice, until the last hit on the shelf caused like 5 games or more on the other side to drop with a loud crash ^^;;

Was a darn silly, fun and extremely funny day out, to sum it up =D

Very few people went, but it was still great ^_^

NYDC: Went to NYDC for the first time with Clar on Sat... =D Gosh, the food was drop-dead nice =D The crust of their pizza really is different from all the other places, and their baked rice..... *smacks lips* Nice man. =P

Feel like treating my mum to a meal there... Just... @_@ *checks cash* I hope I have enough for the both of us >_<

Signing off... ...
Basking in good memories

Should Have

'Should Have's:

I really should be working now... Instead of blogging.

But there a lot of 'should have's.

Should have worked more instead of getting distracted millions of times just now.

Should have done my work instead of making food (that was supposed to be my dinner, but ended up only being 1/3 of it cause of a lack of ingredients).

Should have not gotten so emotionally distracted and everything and constantly looking at other pages instead of working.

Should not have slept last night.

Or the day before.

Should not be making everyone unhappy.

Should not be stressing myself out like nuts.

... Should not be here writing this.


Signing off... ...
Maybe I should listen, and get back to work.

Letter to our company

Warning: Major sarcasm up ahead.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear __________,

We forgive you for the constant changing of the project work flow, structure, as well as of the functions of the project that we are supposed to do. We forgive you for telling us one thing, and then telling us to do/not to do something totally different the next week. We forgive you for constantly expanding the size of the project that we are supposed to do; increasing the number of functions that are to be in the system by great notches every time. We forgive you for not answering the questions that we ask most of the time: at least you give us some vague idea as to which direction we should be asking more questions or assuming in.

We thank you for keeping to what you say - that you would send us the information by 'the next day', although it was only one tiny section of the system, and didn't send us the complete fields/information even 2 weeks after the promised date (which coincidentally, happens to be today).

We thank you for your great faith in our intelligence, in believing that we can understand your business jargon and therefore answering our questions to your business jargon with even more jargon.

We thank you for your immense faith in our competence, in believing that we can churn our report out overnight (which will be over 100 pages, from what I see) and submit it in time, although even if we could, we wouldn't be able to, cause the deadline was supposed to be tomorrow.

You have our greatest appreciation and gratitude for everything you have done for us.

For all the inconvenience that you might have caused, you have our forgiveness.

...

...

...

... Okay, so I lie.


Signing off... ...

After School: a Mundane Friday

In school right now, attempting to do my FYP report thingy and, obviously, failing. FYP meeting ended over an hour and a half ago, but I decided to stay at the benches to try to do my work, while I waited to see if there was a 'sign'..

Benches: Said sign didn't come, but I figured that since I was already here and started on my work, I might as well stay on and try to finish it. Benches in school always have been a wonderful place to hang around alone. Usually helps me feel at peace and gives me a clear head to do my work... But as you can see, this time is one of those exceptions ^^;;

Alone: It's been a while since I really sat like this alone at the benches, with very few people around, and feeling the cool air around me, looking out as the sky grows darker. A feeling of this cool layer around my insides.. All this, surprisingly familiar and comforting.. And surprisingly... Nice. Safe.


Signing off... ...
Distracted and blank

Of Dreams and Meetings

*coughs* I'm so sorry... Eh... Well, the most of this post will actually be me narrating a dream of mine ^^;; One that I dreamt about when I was sleeping a few days back >_< So yep... Watch out ^^;;

If you wanna skip it, skip till after the next section ^_^ Thankies..!! =D

-----------------------

Dream: Hmm... Haven't blogged in a while and the first thing I wanna blog about is my dream ^^;;; Pardon my eccentric-ness. Just a warning... But the following paragraphs will contain quite a bit of story-telling.

Anywayz, had this dream 2 nights back that was scarily detailed and heartwrenching... And the emotions I felt were just so intense and real that it plagued me for the whole of yesterday. In fact, I can still remember the main part clearly... @_@

The setting was war-like... Where we had to fight an enemy. No idea who the 'we' was... A particular organisation maybe? The 'main characters' in the dream were Clar, me and this other guy that probably doesn't exist in real life. Three of us were extremely close in the dream, and moved together, worked together and cared a lot for each other.

The new character: The character of the random guy [whoops I really don't know how else to refer to him] was really strong... Like always fighting to the end and knowing what to do and was very nice, sensible and mature.

Then, in one of the 'battles', he got captured. Clar and I got captured not soon after too.

The climax: When I woke (Clar woke at about the same time), the guy was lying to my right (a bit of a higher position) and Clar was lying near my feet. We were in this blue-y grey-y tingued tunnel (or room or whatever... I'm not sure) with tubes attached to us: at our nose and body. When I sat up, the guy woke too, and Clar had just about understood the severity of what was happening. I was ordered to remove the tubes straightaway and I did, turning to help the other guy too.

He looked at this meter attached to his tubes [that I never dared to look at throughout] and , and that we would probably find out if it was true in a short while. By that time all of us were free of the tubes. It was seconds later that he started to pant and gasp for air. His gasping turned more violent and I panicked like mad. Admist his gasping he looked at me and begged me to re-attach the tubes to him.

My hands shook and his violent movements affecting as well, I failed once before I managed to insert the tube/s properly. His gasps stopped a second later and he passed out.

Background info on the machines attached: The machine we were attached to was this thing that could change the body system of a human to get the oxygen he/she needed from water instead of air. Basically, it means that we would have to be in water in order to survive. One of the tubes was supposed to sustain us while we were still on land.

But cause Clar and I were captured only later, the time the machine was attached to us was shorter than that guy's, so we were alright.

The heartwrenching part: Clar then decided that we had to escape at that point before we got re-captured. We had no choice but to leave him behind, as there was no way we could bring him along without killing him.

After that: I didn't get any news after that about him, and we went back to our lives... I was still extremely affected in the dream, all the way until I woke. @_@

Scary dream... The details were surprisingly there. Except for the 'fighting' part. ^^;; There was still a bit of stuff near the end that caused me some mental breakdown in my dream, but I shan't go into that >_<

-----------------------

Met up: Met up with Momo and Andrea on Sun~ Had fun talking and catching up with Momo~ =D Sad that I had to leave halfway for quite a while to accompany Andrea to Sim Lim though =(

First things first... HAPPY (belated) BIRTHDAY MOMO!!

And yea, hope you're happy back in Japan now... We'll all be missing you..!! ='(

W-inds song: Don't ask me why I started listening to some w-inds songs outside of what I hear from momo and co... I just happened to ^^;;; I particularly like this one called "Love message" =D Can see the video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPV50vWXo4E


Signing off... ...
Emo Ride

Birthdays and Settlers Cafe

Settlers Cafe: Went to Settlers' for the first time a couple of weeks back... And have been relatively addicted to board games since then =D There's 'Lost Cities' that I love... Cluedo... Ticket to Ride, Citadels etc... =D Darn cool.

Mi Birthday: Hmm... I was actually wondering if I should create a wishlist before my birthday... But as all who know me will know, I don't do that kinda thing >_< Turns out this year I got a really funny prezzy from my bro ^^;;

He was racking his brains on what to get me this year... So I just said that chocolate moulds would do ^^;; In the end he got me about 10 chocolate moulds (the standard thin plastic kind), which made me laugh quite a bit ^^;;; >_<

Got about 5 birthday sms wishes on that day, and well... Got a blue rose =D [Thanks Clar..!] Heehee... Got 1 really cute nice card [Thanks Manda!!] and well... Yeah. That's about it ^^;; Liked the necklace I got- Yeah.

Clar's bday: Since Clar's bday will be in camp... We decided to bring it forward and celebrate it on Tuesday... I made soba, got this board game thingy [yes I'm obsessed] and a slice of cake ^^;; And err... We went down to Settlers' Cafe ^^;;

September babies once again: Yepz, it's the time of my dear Sept baby friends~ =D HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ALL OF YOU!!! =D


Signing off... ...

Natsu Matsuri 2007

Natsu Matsuri: Much-awaited Natsu Matsuri arrived... After having watched 7 years of anime that showed this kinda thing and got me all wanting to go, 6 years of knowing about it but never getting the chance to attend, and another 8 months after receiving a yukata.

I thought that this post would be long at first, but the first time I wrote it, it only consisted of two sentences -_-" If you'd like more details about how it was like, you might probably wanna click my friend "Skye"'s link on the left hand side, cause you'll probably be disappointed in my post. ^^;;

Hmm. Well... I really can't think of anything... So, I guess to sum up the entire trip: I liked the dancing.

Heh.

Told you you'd be disappointed.

Others: K I actually have another outing that I had that I wanted to blog too..? But that'll have to wait... Till I have the time to blog again.


Signing off... ...

ITP ramble

Warning: Ramble of last day

Last day of ITP: YES today was the LAST day of our internship at KPMG, and gosh, I was so darn busy the whole of today... (Happily so, though, thankfully...) Things looked up after lunch when my laptop finally acted normally, and was chiong-ing stuff up till the very end before we shut the laptops down and went for clearance.

Our team leads treated us all to canadian pizza during lunch, and by golly, it was a lot. Stuffed myself with the pizza slices, and then the chocolate cake that we bought for the department. @_@ After clearance was basically the time for photo-taking, present-giving, photo-taking, de-briefing, cake eating, and well, photo-taking. ^^;

The excitement that coursed through me from when clearance started was pure ecstasy. As one of my friends said, it felt like we had just graduated. As each item was returned to the company, I felt like something was lifted off of me. By the time we were all done and back at the office, I could hardly stop myself from grinning like an idiot. =^^=

Went out: All of us went out after everything (Like yes EVERYBODY =D) and boy was it AWESOME!! ^^ All of us went high after a while and major trigger-happiness ensued. Loads and loads of photos were taken, with extremely lame poses at different places- We acted like there were 2 gangs and started taking photos and what-nots that showed so, and of course, took lame silly-face photos- ^^;;

Swensons: Dinner was at Swensons, and gosh I was just so dead full by the end of it- >_< Shared this tomato garlic bread soup thing, and ordered a plate of baked rice. Chatted a lot, threw a cricket away, and well, I think there was some photo-taking. Was nice =)

Arcade: Okayyy, we couldn't decide what to do so we just walked around, finally stepping into the arcade for one round of Daytona ^^;; I was the only girl in the race, and WAH I GOT 4th OUT OF 7 PEOPLE!! =D Was oh-so-happy ^^ Twas the first time I didn't end up last or second last. Heh.

Overall: Bad thing was that we dragged real long, and I actually only reached home at like what, not that much earlier than 12am. Doh. Twas real tired out. Feet hurt and all, but just the memories of the day kept me grinning to myself- ;)

Quite sad that we probably won't be able to gather like that ever again... But yea, it was a really REALLY good time that we had together- All the OT-ing together, nonsense-talking, emo-ing, cursing of the laptops, snacking etc.. Twas hard work and relatively stressful at times, but the company was good. Real good. ^^

Will miss you guys after this... For anyone in the group that is reading this... A big THANK YOU for everything these few months =) Enjoyed myself loads.

Photos: Please click here to refer to azlan's blog post for the photos should you be interested ^^ More photos were taken on someone else's camera but I don't think there's a link for them so... >_<

--------------------------
Recollection

Outings: Our department had this POM (Pub-of-the-month) thing, starting with an MoS gathering. Food and drinks were on the company's bill, and it was basically a time a month where everyone could mingle and chill.

It was tempting to go for the pub ones after the MoS outing... Since it was a company thing (and therefore felt safer/more comfortable) and also since none of the POM outings lasted till very late... Of course, you could stay till late if you wanted to, but you could leave anytime, with each POM starting at like 6+ 7pm. BUT I didn't go, of course ^^;; It was a good time to try and catch up with my work so I suppose it was a relatively good thing.

Missed the monthly mingling with them, but I guess stories from my friends brought me in to their fun and joy too. ^^

Only sad thing was that I missed the chance to mix with the full time staff outside of work (like my team leads, the full-time developers and our development/overall leads).

Biscuits: Oh, yes, and how could I forget..? The biscuits that made their appearance not long after we joined for our internship. That started the daily biscuit-snacking routine that my friend and I adopted. ^^;; Heh. As a result, the entire department started to notice my ever-present appetite. Ah well. Heh.

Okay, done: Okay, I think I've done enough of rambling... I still need to do some work and my brain ain't working no more... Sleep beckons.


Signing off... ...
Hyper trigger-happiness

Harry Potter post

Harry Potter movie 5 experience: Ok, I went to watch the movie twice, once with manda and another with clar- First time I entered a gold class screening, and it was good. =) Though the food, as I predicted, served as too much of a distraction- The sound system and screen weren't as good as the extremely big screens- but the seats were just great- With the reclining and everything- >_< Extremely comfortable, though it didn't have the lifting armrest thing that clar hoped to have-

The normal screening I went to with manda was awesome too though. There were cheers and laughter at the parts that were funny- And the big screen and the sound system was great- I remember absolutely grinning during the broom-flying part, and jumping in my seat at the startling ones ^^ Heheh... And of course, the random fangirl beating that manda and I were exchanging at different parts of the movie- *coughsnarrycough*

Anyway, in short...

Gold class screening: Extremely comfy- (they had a blanket and recliner and everything) But action areas weren't as prominent- >_< Nice lounge, nice seats =)
Normal screening: Big screen, nice sound ;)

Movie (Order of the Phoenix) details:

-- START SPOILER WARNING --
Okay... well... if you hadn't been re-reading the book just before the show to refresh your mind about the details... it was good ^^;; It was, thankfully, better manipulated than the previous movie. They cut off many parts, but made up for it by changing the storyline so that it didn't seem out of place- So all in all it didn't leave me complaining like nuts about the show, seeing as I prepared myself like crazy after the madness of the previous movie.

However, for die-hard fans who really remember every single detail (like this girl that was in the toilet we went to after the show) it may be rather disappointing... The ENTIRE Quidditch portion was removed: meaning no quidditch practices or games, no Ginny seeker, no Ron-Harry animosity, no Quidditch ban (which, regretfully, brought the Weasley twin's flight's awesome-ness down a notch. I was personally quite looking forward to the 'Accio broom!' part >_<), none of the details in the Department of Mysteries... Eh.... Lets not continue, shall we..?

Oh, and Luna wasn't as weird as she was in the book ^^;; In fact, I ended up liking her a fair bit , despite the dreamy look she did have in her eyes >_< Heh...

Despite the changing of the storyline and all, however, some parts still seemed to require some basic background knowledge of the show before it could be understood- Like the viel (I don't even think ignorant viewers would really know what that was) >_<

But on the whole, it was pretty good, though it could have been way way way better if they included more details and made the movie time longer >_< But still, it was alright =)

-- END SPOILER WARNING --

Book 7 - Deathly Hallows: On the morning of watching HP with Clar, I got myself a surprise: The Deathly Hallows book Adult edition inside a Bloomsburg bag =D [Thanks again Clar..!! =D] Yeah, but I couldn't 'chiong' it... and ended up reading it over 2 Sat nights, 1 Sun evening and 1 random weekday along the way (which relatively tortured me, espcially when it came towards the end)

Finally finished it yesterday night, though, and like WHOA IT WAS ROCK-AWESOME!! =D All of my guesses before hit spot-on, though it was written such that I thought that everything I thought beforehand was wrong >_<

Warning: Manda dunno whether u wanna read the following part

Putting that aside... Omgsnarryomgsnarryomgsnacapesnapesnapeihavesofalleninlovewithsnapeandsnarryalloveragain. WAH!! Okay, I don't know if that was intelligible but WAH!!!!!!! *dies*

Okay, before I start fangirling and giving spoilers I'll end this post... >_<


Signing off... ...
OmgomgomgomgWAH!

Random Poem: The Significant Other

Warning: Random poem

I Look,
At The Scar That Marrs
The Ugly Face Before Me.

I Laugh,
And Pass,
With A Grimace,
A Cream,
To Heal The Scar That Showed.

I Look,
At The Splint That Digs
Deep Into The Side Of The Ugly Face.

I Sigh,
I Berate,
And Pull,
With Unecessary Force,
To Kindly Extract The Splint From the Face.

I Feel,
With A Jolt,
As Another Punches Me Across My Face.

I Fall,
Painfully,
A Stinging In My Cheek,
Numbing My Jaw,
Numbing My Senses.

I stood shakily,
trembling,
shocked
at the impact.

I blindly grope,
looking
for a friend,
for a wall,
for a support,
to steady me.

I fall as I miss,
and paused,
as I saw a drop of water
land on the floor.

I stood again,
and glanced at the other,
and saw
tears,
falling
from the eyes of his ugly face.


A/N: Thanks to the one who gave me the inspiration for this ;) Short drabble? Dunno, written in a rush in about a half hour or less. I ought to go sleep now ^^;; Goodnight!

Signing off... ...

Warnings: Bad Luck Ramble, Fangirling and HOMESTAY

Warning: Bad luck ramble.

Yes, I'm gonna be rambling about my bad luck recently, and of course, just some random rambles... So I guess if you're not up for that you can skip this entry ^^;;

Karaoke: Okay... Err first start of it all was when I went karaoke with Skye and this other girl- Twas quite fun, and there was a sudden time when I suddenly found a lot of songs that I actually knew, so I took the remote up and started keying them in one by one.

Loads of them.

Then after that, I suddenly realised that my songs weren't going in. It was really weird cause it was only I who was having that problem, and I wasn't pressing anything wrongly. It would go through for a moment, and then suddenly disappear. In the end, I just got so frustrated I just asked my friends to key my songs in for me -___-"

Testi: Someone whose testi I'd been waiting for and wanted for a really long time (like what, almost a year?) came in a week or two ago... And stupid friendster did not show most of the testi cause '<'s and '>'s were used at some point in it.

And as stupid things do, like Blogger and Friendster, they delete everything in between the two characters.

Was really quite upset and disappointed, cause that person forgot what he wrote for the most of it... So I guess I most probably won't be getting it now.

There goes another star for Friendster.

'Surprise': Made something for someone a while back as a surprise... Had to do a bit of brainstorming and planning for it due to time constraints and my lack of creative juices- Ended up, it turned out all wrong cause of my miscalculation (is that even a right word to use?) and ended up upsetting that person during the meet-up.

And my 'present' triggered another round of unhappiness as well. No happy smiles, no nothing. Guess this was a first time my planned surprise failed.

Wouldn't say it didn't ended up being a surprise. Just in another way, I suppose-

Chocolates: Made chocolates on Sunday- Turned out the quality of the dark chocolate I used wasn't that good... So I didn't quite like it -_-" And I semi-broke my 2 new chocolate moulds. Argh. Terrible.

Good thing, though, is that my chocolates actually looked decent =D Heh. _That_ was one thing I loved.

--------------------------------------------
End back luck ramble, start random ramble
--------------------------------------------

Heroes: OMG I am SO in love!!! ANDO AND HIRO ARE JUST SO... SO... so... CUTE TOGETHER!! Of course, it could be just me, but that doesn't stop me from fangirling them anyway. They're really so darn sweet! Even as friends~ *sighs dreamily*

Soukyuu no Fafner: Okay, so there's another pair in there I'm fangirling but I shall spare you the agony and get to the main point.

Today, I was reminded of something Skye warned me about the show... About the fact that there was quite some angst and tragedy and stuff... I was on episode 6 and I saw someone die already @.@ She died stupidly, but that doesn't stop the fact that she died anyway. And then, some comments Skye made from last time flowed back to me and now I'm dreading watching to the end of the show... I so foresee buckets of tears or something. @.@ Gah.

But I'm already relatively addicted to the show, so... @.@ Oh no...

Homestay: Oh, yes! This time, I have been 'approved' (from those around me) to volunteer to host a student from Hiroshima =D In my own home! OMG I'M SO EXCITED!!! This is seriously one of my like dreams or something... Something I've always always ALWAYS wanted to do like for such a long time...

Manda knew how upset I was when I couldn't participate in the hosting events the past few times, and how seriously sad I felt this time around when I almost couldn't... And how despondent and resigned I was. Thankfully I can, now. Thankfully. *heaves a huge sigh of relief*

I'm really so happy.

Now I just have to wait for the interview from the school - the last barrier I have to pass before I'm confirmed.. =D

Arrogance: Ok, so that kinda gets on my nerves nowadays... I get quite irritated inside when I hear someone talking like they know the answers to everything, like the person they're talking to is more ignorant than them, or when they they cut in other people's conversations to answer something or answer some question with this air of 'omg are you seriously that dumb?' or 'i can't believe u dont know that' tone.

It just makes the other person feel inferior, annoyed, mocked at, and whatever else. And well. Gives people the impression that you're arrogant, and annoying. But I guess when these stuff happen, they probably don't realise it.

Of course, I realise annoyance, anger, and arrogance are totally different things, though that really is hardly the point ^^;; in case anyone else has that thought passing through their mind. I guess I should start watching myself too, and be careful.

And, of course, curb my annoyance level so that it doesn't accidentally come across as arrogance.

Emotions: I so have to learn to curb and take control of my emotions. I laid my emotions flat on a board, and I want to take control of it again... A passing storm across the said board is enough to kill me.


Alright, I think I've rambled enough. Shall end here now. =^^=



Signing off... ...

16th June 2007

Alright, yes, I'm cheating. Backdated this entry ^^;;

16th June: Yep, special day. Anywayz, went out with Clar... And 'twas extremely surprising and good cause he was actually, surprisingly, uncharacteristically in a good and positive mood..! =D Okay, so I sound like I'm exaggerating, but twas really a pleasant, happy surprise =D

Suki Sushi: I super super love suki sushi- What with all the... well, sushi. And sashimi, and... and... well. SUSHI! =D *drools* I gorged myself, as usual, and twas really good- I, personally, have a much better experience with Suki Sushi than Sakae... but I am probably going to try Sakae again soon with my dad or something- Let's see how they might redeem themselves =P Heh.

The downside was, of course, the long wait everytime we made a sashimi order. -_-" Clar suspects, as do I, that they probably have to go find and catch the fish after we make an order -___-" We always have to wait like 45 mins for it- The first time we went, my sashimi came 3 reminders and over an hour later, after the rest of the food came. -____-"

This time, due to the fact that we got quite full, we cancelled an order (which we made like quite a while back too)

I would ramble on much more... but I don't really know how to go about that, so... I guess I shall end here... For now. ^^


Signing off... ...
Ichi nen omedetou-

A spot of angst

Warning: Emotional post up ahead. I'm not in my right mind.

Blowing up: I don't know what's wrong with me... But I've just gotten so sick and tired of explaining stuff to people... Some unfortunate soul messaged me on MSN while I was at work today... And the main gist was that he decided to assume the worst from my words and start accusing me of saying that he was 'too free' and that he was dumb and stuff... When all I said was 'yeah, cause some of us have a lot of stuff to complete-' (I can't remember the exact words but it's something like that and I mentioned a deadline somewhere) in reply to his 'you guys are so busy?' when he learnt that we tapao-ed our food to eat in the office again.

After his rant, I started replying coldly and curtly (and as a result, rudely) for a few lines, then finally managed to force myself to cool down after a while. I just really hated explaining myself that I had half the urge to just go offline... Thankfully I forced myself to just type, and cleared it up. [Of course, there was also the fact that it was that particular guy- He always gets on my nerves >_<]

Closing up: What's wrong with me, I wonder. Recently, everytime there's some stupid misunderstanding or accusations or tantrum-throwing, I just shut myself up cause the option to explain was just too tiring.

Way too tiring.

I guess I've been way too spoilt by my friends, when they read and intepret things without having to ask you to bare your heart out every time, or of course, the friends that just don't notice, or don't delve into it when you don't reply them.

Sometimes when an opening is forced open, the door just closes up even more to prevent the intrusion.

Now, I'm trying doubly hard to stop the door from closing, or open it up even more, amidst the crowd flood. I've been trying.

Sorry to the one I may have affected the most cause of this... You know who you are.

Not nice: I've had people telling me nice things, saying that I'm 'nice', 'cheery' and whatever-not... And I sometimes feel ashamed when I hear it, cause sometimes I know I'm not. Don't really know how much of that I still have in me, if it had existed in the past... And sometimes when I hear something good someone says about me, a comment or thought of a close one about me that said otherwise passes through. 'Cheery'..? Am I really? Cause if I am, I sure haven't been feeling much of it as of late... Not that I haven't, of course, just not overly so that someone would feel inclined to describe me as such.

What about 'nice'? Utter nonsense. I do what I like, what I enjoy. Nothing else.

Although I'm starting to wonder if I still do so. And then, I wonder... What am I now, then..?

I've had words like 'self-righteous', 'naive', and a whole lot of others I can't rememer thrown at me. Half of which I normally wouldn't have paid any heed to... And yet now, I can't help but wonder......

I'm hoping that this spot of angst came out only cause I'm tired... ... I'm hoping.


Signing off... ...
Blank.

Of Surprises and Madness

Horoscope:

"You don't 'do' surprises. You plan surprises -- for other people -- but in your own life, everything's planned and accounted for. Aw, come on! What fun is that? Let yourself be surprised and you'll like what you see."

Plan surprises? Yep, I love doing that... But letting myself be surprised..? The surprise will have to come first >_<>_<

I would ramble a lot more about this area... but hmm. Nah...

Okay, this is weird. I've had a friend prompt me to update... And the first thing I talk about is my horoscope of the day. ^^;;

Hot: Okay, this is one thing I've been complaining a lot about... The weather is just ghastly recently... I leave the house feeling ultra warm in the morning... and by the time I finish strolling to the MRT station I'm perspiring like a mad pig. (Do pigs sweat a lot?) Of course, I suspect it's something to do with my semi-crazy sweat glands of late... but I shall blame part of it on the weather anyway >_<

Unfit: Alright, alright, so that's the other reason to my overactive sweat glands.. Hm, so what else is new? The whole world knows I'm unfit, but I shall say it anyway.

I'm unfit.

Like, majorly. I've had the urge to work out like quite a bit recently but never got the chance to... And today, I finally managed to go DDR a wee little itsy bit with Clar. By the end of the first song, I was tired. And guess what? I failed the second song -_-" Like... @.@ My legs were actually DYING by the third song. Argh! Like how unfit can I get, seriously?

You know what? Don't answer that.

ITP: Hmm... I guess that takes up quite a bit of my life now... I'm OT-ing quite a bit recently cause of the pressing deadlines and all... I've had terrible days (thinks pointedly about yesterday) where I spend half the day trying to solve a problem that wasn't even programming-related. -_-" Like the application I was using for programming just went berserk on me. So I had to delete my project and re-import the entire thing... Stupid. Utterly stupid.

Madness at the workplace: Heh, so I realise many of us aren't really sane... *coughs* Me included, but that's not the point. It can be really fun, and I guess the insane-ness is what keeps me sane at work ^^;

Of course, there _are_ times where some people drive me mad, but I haven't gotten the urge to throw them out the window yet, so I suppose that's good ^^;

Lyrics: I swear I had some song to blog about to cause of the lyrics... (don't ask me why I keep doing that recently... I have absolutely no idea) But I just can't recall the song right now... So that'll have to wait till it comes back to me ^^;;

'Ignited' (Cosplay group): YEAH going with Ignited to watch Pirates of the Carribean tomorrow~ Supposed to be a chance to 'get to know the existence of several members that some of us don't know about' >_< I'm one of those invisible members I guess ^^;;

At the last end-of-year event, Skye was calling "Ignited!! Come here!" and I had absolutely no idea whether I was actually part of the group... so I hesitated a bit, then turned and walked off to change out... Partly cause I didn't want my counterpart to be bored any longer and wait, and partly cause I really didn't know whethter I was considered part of them...

My heart was really screaming and asking me to linger a bit longer to hear what she wanted to tell the group, but I turned and walked off with this coldness spreading through my insides.

Ever since I joined the livejournal community though, I've started to feel as though there's some confirmation of my part in the group... One, cause I'm actually _in_ the community, and secondly, cause Skye actually messaged me about certain events too- =) And another from the group actually called me up one day to tell me about a particular new anime/manga/cosplay magazine that just came out (*cough* the main reason was cause the team was in it *cough*)-

Considering I've never really had anyone else from the circle apart from Skye calling me up about stuff, I was really happy =D

Of course, to those who have no interest about this part of my life, I think I probably just bored you guys to death, or amused you. Anywayz, I'm just looking forward to tomorrow, and the chalet that's coming up =D


The end: Alright, that's just about enough of rambling... I should really get ready for bed, or I may just very well fall asleep in the cinema tomorrow... And that is not good. I'll update again when the inspiration comes~ ^^


Signing off... ...

Open Up Your Mind

Couple of days back I was listening to my MP3 player in the bus on the way to work... And it felt as if I was actually listening to the words for thea first time... Every word just went through to my heart and well... ya. >_< It was rather comforting- ^_^

Anywayz, thought I'd blog the lyrics and dedicate the song to whoever's having a rough patch right now- I'd put the song up but the mp3 size was too large for the current place I'm putting my files -_-" So... Err... Maybe soon..? ^^;; (So much for dedicating... >_<)

Argh... But the english translation sounds weird... =S =( I swear, it sounds so much nicer in actuality..! >_<

Kkz, I'll update again soon-


Signing off... ...

---

Open Up Your Mind

moshimo ima subete ga umaku nante ikanai
makesou ni naru toki datte
hitomi wo tojireba   kokoro kara
sekai ga   miete kuru
In this world when life can be so tough
You must be strong
Just believe in yourself and don't you fear
So open up your mind and close your eyes
Take another look from the other side
kodoku na yoru demo   mayoi osoreru toki mo
ima wa hitori demo   kono ashi de doko made mo
aruite ikeru hazu dakara
Just hold on tight   hitomi tojita nara
Look inside yourself   kagayaki ga aru kara
Yes, subete   shinjite hoshii
You can take another look from the other side
Just hold on tight   kokoro kujikete mo
Reach into your soul   ashita ga mienakute mo
Yes, ikiru   tsuyosa ga areba
You can take another look from the other side
ai no subete ni deau made...
kono sekai de ikinuite-iku tame no tsuyosa wo
anata ni negatte-iru kara
kokoro no tobira wo   hiraitara 
nanika ga   miete kuru
Just remember you are not alone
So don't you fear
Even though you're miles away
I'm by your side
So open up your mind and close your eyes
I'll be there for you no matter where you are
hoshi no inochi nara nagai kedo   itsu made mo
onaji kono hibi ga kurikaesu wake ja nai
ashita wa dare ni mo mienai
Just hold on tight   hitomi tojita nara
Look inside yourself   kodou kanjiru kara
Yes, "MIRAI"   shinjite hoshii
You can take another look from the other side
Just hold on tight   kokoro kujikete mo
Reach into your soul   ashita ga mienakute mo
Yes, chigau   sekai ga atte
You can take another look from the other side
ai no subete ni   deaeru yo...
Just hold on tight   hitomi tojita nara
Look inside yourself   kodou kanjiru kara
Yes, "MIRAI"   shinjite hoshii
You can take another look from the other side
Just hold on tight   kokoro kujikete mo
Reach into your soul   ashita ga mienakute mo
Yes, chigau   sekai ga atte
You can take another look from the other side
ai no subete ni   deau made...

English Translation

Even when it seems that nothing can go right
and you want to just give up,
if you close your eyes,
you can see the world from your heart.
In this world when life can be so tough
You must be strong
Just believe in yourself and don't you fear
So open up your mind and close your eyes
Take another look from the other side
Even on a lonely night, when you wander afraid,
you may be alone now, but
your feet can take you however far you want to go, so
Just hold on tight, because if you close your eyes,
look inside yourself, there's a shining light there.
Yes, I want you to believe in everything.
You can take another look from the other side
Just hold on tight, even if your heart is breaking.
Reach into your soul, even if you can't see tomorrow.
Yes, if you have the strength to live,
You can take another look from the other side,
until you find all that is love...
I wish for you to have the strength
to make it through this world,
so open up your mind,
and you'll be able to see...
Just remember you are not alone
So don't you fear
Even though you're miles away
I'm by your side
So open up your mind and close your eyes
I'll be there for you no matter where you are
The stars may live for a long time, but that doesn't mean
that the same days will repeat over and over forever.
Noone can see into tomorrow.
Just hold on tight, because if you close your eyes,
look inside yourself, you'll feel a heartbeat.
Yes, I want you to believe in the future.
You can take another look from the other side.
Just hold on tight, even if your heart is breaking.
Reach into your soul, even if you can't see tomorrow.
Yes, there's another world out there.
You can take another look from the other side,
and you'll be able to find all that is love...
Just hold on tight, because if you close your eyes,
look inside yourself, you'll feel a heartbeat.
Yes, I want you to believe in the "future."
You can take another look from the other side
Just hold on tight, even if your heart is breaking.
Reach into your soul, even if you can't see tomorrow.
Yes, there's another world out there.
You can take another look from the other side,
until you find all that is love...

Would wine suffice, I wonder. Perhaps shocchuu would do the trick.

Wonderful. I just pissed someone off without stepping back. And for the first time, I didn't want to.

Someone get me a bottle of wine.



Signing off... ...

Of Mundane Updates and Studying Abroad

Heyoz, someone told me my blog was collecting cobwebs so I decided to rant a bit ^^;;

Catching up with old times: Or well, movies, actually, to be exact. I've been watching LotR and Star Wars (like all the good stuff I've missed or watched incomplete in the past) and stuff and gushing over like well... quite a few characters- Cause some are just so cute- ^^;; [no, I do not mean cute in the outlook sense... Just so you know] Like the 2 robots from Star Wars and Legolas and Gimli from LotR~ They are really just SO cute and hilarious when they come together and start bantering with the other. ;)


Movies: Hmm... Seemed like I watched quite a couple of movies too... And much more to come soon, I expect. Watched Sunshine (which as manda said 'wasn't [my] type of movie' but was rather interesting nonetheless- My heart just couldn't take it ^^;;) and 'The Last Mimzy'. The last one was my idea =P And yeah... Shrek 3 looked interesting... Spiderman 3 is coming up next week... And another one which I rather liked when I watched the trailer... but forgot the title of it ^^;

See? I must be going crazy. I think I'm watching as many movies within these 2 months or so as I usually do in like a year or a few years in the past >_< style="font-weight: bold;">

Sick: K... I got sick a couple of days back... High fever and all... Got worse yesterday with an extremely swollen throat in the morning and an inability to stay upright for long and a rather drastic loss of appetite (3 spoonfuls or so of a proper meal was enough to fill me).. Worked hard to bring the fever down the best I could cause I was supposed to be going out that day, and well- I succeeded up to a point where I could stay upright for a relatively decent amount of time- ^^;

Thanks to all those who were concerned about me, scolded me and yea.. Well. Was really grateful for my parents that day too- For respecting my decision and like for sending me there with only a 'you brought your panadol right?' in the car- ^_^ Heh.

Momo: Momo went to Waseda Uni already- And yea- It was rather sad- The funny thing was when she told us about a conversation with her friend that went something like that (cut off, of course):

"I'll miss you... When will you be back?"
"Around August or September-"
"So fast?"
*raises eyebrows* "I can always not come back."

Heheh. I guess it was easy to forget there were still rather long holidays where they could come back and visit us- ^^;; Heh... Will miss her loads though >_< Got a letter from her yesterday... and yea... If you see this..? Thanks for the concern, and the letter!! =D Heehee... Lucky me ^_^

[Btw, I wanted to blog more about this in the last post... but it couldn't be published for some reason... think it was my >_< emoticon -_-" Ah well... And since I forgot what I typed then... It will have to be left as such.]

Fic idea: And yea... I hate my head right now... I was taking an extremely serene walk back home just now (gosh I love the park loads... It's so nice =D) and as such walks always do, gave me fic/plot/scenario ideas and whatever-nots... As soon as I got home though... I forgot everything -_-" Argh. No wonder I haven't been able to write recently. And to think the idea seemed really good at the time! =( Ah well.

Complains: Alright, I do actually have quite a few things I want to rant and complain about... But they'll soon pass so I shan't bother with em... Besides... Head's not working anymore- >_< Pardon any randomness that may occur in this post. I blame it on the head. Or the lack of the working part of my brain that resides in my head.

Signing off... ...
Excessive hurt leads to indifference, more hurt leads to anger, and even more, leads to hate.

Surprise farewell party

Just a quick update about today...

Farewell party: We had a 'surprise' farewell party for Momo today... And well. Andrea, as usual, kinda got Momo suspicious (so I guess). The first thing she said was "I think forget about the barbeque la, let's just take something away instead." I promptly walked over and pinched her subtly. Then... "Is Peiyi (someone whom was supposedly not in the gang that we were supposed to be hanging out with) coming today?" I pinched her again. -_-" Oh gosh! So typical!! I ended up having to pull her aside and telling her not to breathe a peep about it anymore >_< But well... It went okay after that =D It was really really fun hanging around everyone and catching up. Ended up reaching home at 12+. Like =O

Momo leaving: Momo'll be leaving Friday morning (none of us realised it was so fast!!) and most of us are planning to send her off >_<>_<>_<

My EOY cosplay: Heh, we were kinda talking about cosplay at the gathering... Just 3 of us... This is how our conversation went:

Girl 2: *ramble about our end of year cosplay plans*
Girl 1: "Trinity Blood?"
Girl 2: "Yeah. She's (me) our kate scott!"
Girl 1: "Wha? You're who?"
Me: "The hologram."
Girl 1: "Ohh!! That!"

^^;;; Hmm... I guess my character's known all round as 'the hologram' >_< Quite funny, actually, though quite sad- ^^;;


Signing off... ...

Yr 2 Sem 2 Results

Well, a LOAD of things have happened over the past 1 month and 1 day that I've been too lazy to blog for...

Results: Okay... well. Got my results. Err.. Both my GEMs got B+ and well. So did another subject. My grades look kinda weird... but at least I'm not crying over them, and that's good. Guess I was kinda prepared to look at rock-bottom grades after screwing up almost every subject this semester. Grades semester after semester are following the downhill pattern, and hm. I'm just SO hoping it changes the next 2 semesters. I'm hoping my grade chart looks like a valley and not the side of a mountain.

Fat lot of good it'll do hoping. I guess I'll have to work for it. Time for someone to slap me in the face.

Formal/Polite convs: Crap. I'm starting to forget how to speak politely. =S Used to be second nature... Now... Now... ='( *cries* I had to stare at a blank screen for like a couple of hours before I wrote a couple of lines that didnt' sound that polite at all -_-" To my lecturer. Whee. Wonderful. At least that lecturer's nice so I guess it's alright if it's well. Informal? And well. Filled with smiley faces -_-" Bad. Bad.

The most polite email I sent was:

Hello Mr. ____,

{___day} would be good. =)

Thank you.

{___day} being a day of the week. Argh. Was that even considered polite or formal? Or even a proper email..? o.O;; Hm. With the smiley face, perhaps not.

Shifting: WHEE GOING TO SHIFT SOON!! Well, other than the fact that I've still got a load of stuff to pack since I've been wholely and utterly slacking the past couple of weeks I am WHOO-HOO excited about the shifting. =D I am utterly IN LOVE with the new place >_< Am having a bit of trouble with the new sofa set... but I digress.

There's a bit more walking to do around my new place to get anywhere, but I'm seeing that as a good thing ^_^ Thing is... I still don't know my way to the MRT -_-" Or the bus stop. Grr. I just hope I don't get lost like the first day I shift over or something.


Signing off... ...

Beautiful Things

Lyrics of Beautiful Things, by Bobby Darin

The world is full of beautiful things
Butterfly wings, fairy tale kings
And each new day undoubtedly brings
Still more beautiful things.

The world abounds with many delights
Magical sights, fanciful flights
And those who dream on beautiful nights
Dream of beautiful things.

Beautiful days for sunshine lazin'
Beautiful skies and shores
Beautiful days when I can gaze in beautiful eyes
Like yours.

You wonder why the nightingale sings
Lovers have wings
People wear rings
The world is full of beautiful things
Beautiful people, too …
Beautiful people like you.

Beautiful days of sun-kissed showers
Beautiful sea-kissed breeze
Beautiful nights of moon-kissed hours
Beautiful dreams like these.

Our lives tick by like pendulum swings
Delicate things, butterfly wings
Life is full of beautiful things
Beautiful people, too …
Beautiful people like you.

----------------------------------------------------

Yepz! Just as it says ;) Another beautiful day coming up too mithinks- End of exams tomorrow ^_^ For those who are taking their exams too GOOD LUCK!!! For those who aren't... Well, good for you- Don't have to study >_< Heh.

Dance ramble: Okay, I went to download some dance podcasts (Dance sport too) and WAH fell in love all over again- ^^ Especially with the Standard dances (meaning dances like the waltz, quickstep, foxtrot etc...) BEAUTIFUL!!! Of course, err, it's beautiful when it's danced amazingly- Some got me yawning after a bit @.@ Erm... *coughs* ^^;; Of course I still like latin dance too (like the cha cha, rumba)

I knew about the song up there through dance too- It's a foxtrot song- Heard it at the JB competition and fell in love- *sighs dreamily* Updated the song on the media player on the left to play this song instead now ^^


Signing off... ...

Sighs and Re-contacting

Scary: This is terrible. The retorts and bursts that erupt in my head recently have been getting worse. It's just extremely scary to hear the kind of things I'm capable of saying when I'm scolding someone... In my head, at least... Hopefully my control is good enough to prevent it from coming out.

It's always just been emotions that indicate how I feel... and now words are starting to form... And I found that I _am_ capable of taking something from the past that was done to me and throwing it back at the person should there ever be a need to.

Sigh.

Scary.


Caged: Been feeling like that for some time now... -_-" Absolutely terrible. I found that everytime I want to say something, it'll go through my mind, and then I won't say it anymore even though it is what I feel. Even here, when it's my blog. My blog. -_-" Ah well. There are good things to it beside the bad ones that come with that, so... *shrugs*

Getting back in touch: This is absolutely amazing... I started sending forwarded messages to all sorts of friends recently when I found some in my phone when clearing my inbox... And the best thing is... Everyone got back to me in some way or another..! =D Even if it's not through sms, it may be through email, or tags or a call or something.

Love all of you guys. ^^ Helped me LOADS in lifting my spirits up when I needed it most. I am so glad I have you guys as friends ;)

Thanks a million..!



Signing off... ...

Anger and Stress stuff

Hmm... Came across this... ^^; Live happy and healthy~ >_< K, I know this is utter randomness but... *shrugs* And the first one doesn't say much... but ah well.

Funny thing I've noticed is that many say "avoid difficult people" in order to stay happy ^^; I guess that's quite true.. It does make your life much brighter... Thing is, these 'difficult people' end up being slightly alienated, don't they..? Hmm... But then again, it's through this alienation too that they (usually) find out that there's something they can improve on...

I found the pink clouds part funny ^^;; It's like *angry* *think pink clouds* Urgh. >_< I'd rather have nice white clouds to float on. ^^;;

Okay, darn. Enough nonsense. I should get back to studying.


Signing off... ...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anger

One of the most important areas in which a teenager needs training is in how to handle anger. Anger is normal and occurs in every human being. The problem is not the anger itself, but managing it. Recognize anger when it comes, understand the cause, express it appropriately, and resolve it properly. Inappropriate expressions of anger include physically harming another, using words that threaten to bring emotional damage to another, or showing disrespect.


Reduce Stress

Easier said than done, stress busters come in many forms. Some techniques recommended by experts are to think positive thoughts. Spend 30 minutes a day doing something you like. (i.e.,Soak in a hot tub; walk on the beach or in a park; read a good book; visit a friend; play with your dog; listen to soothing music; watch a funny movie. Get a massage, a facial or a haircut. Meditate. Count to ten before losing your temper or getting aggravated. Avoid difficult people when possible. Thought for the day: When seeing red, think pink clouds….then float on them.

Climate changes

Quick entry.

Cimate Change: Glaciers have shrunk and melted over the last who-knows-how many years... but it's getting worse now...

Three photographs, taken in 1912, 1968 and 2003, show how a glacier at Vernagtferner in Austria has shrunk. It lost over half a metre in thickness during 2005.

"But it is not the past that worries us, tremendously is the future. With the scenarios predicted, we will enter conditions which we have not seen in the past 10,000 years, and perhaps conditions which mankind has never experienced."

Which makes me wonder, it's no longer 'none of our business', as thought by most people, isn't it..? Shouldn't we be doing _something_ to help our Earth? The efforts of those who care at the moment will never be enough to stop whatever is happening.

Makes me feel really really sad though... That half the world doesn't care what the Earth becomes. Really do want to do something about this...

Climate change simulation thingy: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/shared/spl/hi/sci_nat/04/climate_change/html/climate.stm

Signing off... ...
Back to work

The Rainbow

The Rainbow

The still night air
Cools
Beyond normal temperatures,
Causing hair to stand,
Causing bodies to shiver.

From blue,
To indigo,
To violet,
To black
With a light sheen of white.

Stars that once shone,
The moon that had brightened the
Night sky, now
Hide
Behind sheets of thick, dark, wool

Without the knowledge
Of the people,
Darkening the calm dark, and
Chilling
The cool air.

The night deepens,
And the air
Chill, ever the more,
Ever the more
Fiercely.

The drums beat,
Silently, then
Louder,
Disturbing but only
Few occupants.

Droplets of tears,
Of blood,
Of sweat,
Fall, and
Beat, against the ground

To be absorbed
Wholly,
Silently,
Consistently,
By the earth.

Hours pass
Stealthily,
Consistently,
The beating of drums
Ever louder than before

Along with the
Consistent
Pitter-patter of droplets
Against grass,
Against soil

Drowning
The earth,
The grass,
Transforming
Green to Brown.

The darkness part, after hours,
With no moon,
With no stars, leaving
Nothing,
But the cool, still air.

Of red,
Of orange,
Of yellow,
As rays penetrate, through the
Thickness of the night before.

Dissipating,
Separating, the pure
White of the morning,
Against the
Green of the earth.

Leaving,
But the crystal
Result
Of the rumbles
Of the night.

-------------------------------------------

A/N: =) Another rather uplifting poem, I guess..? Waddya think..? Title gives everything away... but ah well.


Signing off... ...

Untitled Poem, sudden inspiration of desperation

A light shines bright, in a distance, and
Feet start to move, aimlessly towards it
Maneuvering
Out of the endless dark.

Footsteps heavy,
The sound of dragging feet,
Resound through the silence,
Breaking
the otherwise noiseless vacuum.

The light nears, and
Footsteps quicken,
Desperate, and
Unaware.

Eager body
Hit against seemingly non-existent wall,
of the Strong tornado
Standing guard.

Some energy drains, and
A piece of soul
Rips from the body, that now lay
A metre away.

Feet regain their balance,
And continue
Their shaky steps
Towards hope.

Body and resistance
Clash once more,
Familiar pain, mixed with
Unfamiliarity.

Drops of liquid
Fall,
Marring the perfect marble landing, and
Leaving its irrevocable stains.

Piece by piece of soul,
Tear from the lifeless body,
Leaving, after futile efforts,
a souless, lifeless doll.

------------------------------------------------------
A/N: Okay, don't ask me what I'm writing. I don't know. The words came after all, it seems. ^^; Ah well. Okay, I ain't kidding myself and saying this is a poem. My poems have been nothing much but story telling. Got lots to learn.

Okay... MUST STUDY!!!! ARGH!!! @#%@#$%#^


Signing off... ...
Desperate for focus.

Next obstacle ahead... [Updates] and thank-yous

Assignments: Okay... Assignments are over... Screwed up a load of them... But well. The good thing is that it's over. And none of them scream "I've got a bug!" so I guess that's good. ^^; Thanks a mil to Chris who put up with all my hot-headedness and stuff... And yeah... Well. IT'S OVER =D

Exams: Okay, well. One obstacle over, another nears... My end-of-module exams... Really, judging from how I've been screwing everything else up I really should start studying... Especially since I've not been listening to SOO many lectures and how I've screwed up some projects... It's my only way out... But... *sigh* I JUST CAN'T START *pulls hair out* I've GOT to snap out of this sometime soon.

Someone slap me.

After-exam plans: Okay, well. I'm finally going for one of those personal development programmes this year... Not with friends... but ah well.. Perhaps another time.. Anywayz, am going for SALSA! YESH! OMG I'LL GET TO LEARN DANCE AGAIN!! =D=D Okay, so I heard it's extremely basic and simple and stuff... But WHO CARES! Yay. =D

Guitar Ensemble: Heheh, went to watch my brother perform at the LT at NUS- =) Heheh, was SUPER DUPER NICE! =D =D >_< It's really different hearing the entire ensemble play... (Although I have been to 2 or 3 of those before) Loved a LOAD of pieces =D Hope I can catch another one of those next time... =^^= Really liked a load of things there... The next time I catch my brother practicing I'm gonna request a song... ;)

Problems: Ah well. As usual. Shan't blog about them, though. Had just about enough of it.

Dance poetry: THANKS to all those who commented about my dance poem thing... ^_^ Never ever received so many comments about any of my poems before- ^^; And compliments. Hmmz. ^_^ Heh I like it too =D *coughs* whoops. ^^; Hey I'm not being egoistic- But I really do like it... Though it's not perfect- >_<

Temporarily lost my ability to churn poems out though... The idea's there, but the words won't come -__-" Sigh.


Signing off... ...

Generally pissed, and the Beauty of Poetry

Okay, full blown bashing ranting post up again, so BEWARE. I'm not in a good mood. No offence intended.

If you have no wish to see bashing posts, please do skip this entry. Thank you. Much appreciated.

Stupid people: Okay, my classmates and I just can't STAND that stupid irritating class that comes in after one of our lab lessons. They flood in as soon as our teacher steps out and stand right next to our seats and giving us pressure. Today I wanted to walk out from the right, behind Michelle, as we were leaving our seats but the STUPID darn guy waiting for her seat just pulled open the chair and sat there straight after she walked past him without giving me any space to walk past, when I was BLOODY WAITING THERE FOR HIM TO MOVE! After staring at him for like a couple of seconds, I figured that he hadn't much of a brain, backtracked, and walked the other way out.

Thank goodness the guy waiting for my seat had the common sense to get out of the way.

To Kill A Mockingbird: Saw this movie a couple 'weeks back... Don't know if I mentioned it... There's this guy (called Edison I think?) who's this upright lawyer... who tries to defend a black man, called Tom Robinson (Was it?) who was accused of a crime he did not commit... Twas about discrimination and stuff... The man died anyway. Got me crying at the bloody immaturity and unfairness of it all.

But that wasn't the point. Let's take a look at Edison. He remained true to his principles and values, unlike those other cowardly idiots, and took on the case in the name of justice. Despite the talk from the others around town. Now _that_ is called strong character.

Find the rest of them just irritating... Not doing things because of a load of reasons (most of which are just bull) and for convenience's sake. What of all those people who suffer as a result? No, of course they don't care. As long as they don't have to lift their arse to do anything else that requires more work. Just because it's what the rest do. What about your own trend of thought?? What about your principles?? What about using that BRAIN that resides in that skull of yours?! What of that heart that is supposed to feel?? Cut it up and ate it for lunch cause you were too lazy to grow your own food or to go down to the supermarket to get some, I suppose. Bloody selfish good-for-nothings.

But the movie was good.

Work: Okay. I've wanted to kill distractions so that I could do my work, but it's proving to be much harder than it used to be. Used to just 'appear offline' so tht I could take note of any incoming mail that may be important, while at the same time NOT chatting and getting distracted. Bloody irritating myself out. Seems like the only time I can work now is in the middle of the night. Perhaps I should just change my body clock. It may prove to be much more efficient and effective, especially during assignment chionging period and through studying. Can't help getting pissed off. So much for getting let off at 2 today. It's past 12.30am and I haven't touched a single bloody thing.

Pissed: This is absolutely terrible. Had no idea how many times I had to tell myself 'calm down' or had to re-type my sentences, mainly those with 'bloody' or 'i wouldnt have given a damn' in it. Had to bite my tongue from retorting several times too.

-------- End of bashing rant --------

Poetry: Everyone has their own style. Writing a poem is the same as that of writing your own story. There are no set ground rules for you to follow, but for your flow of thoughts. The depth of the words, choice of words, length of the poems, are solely up to you.

The flow of words, the deliberate breaks or lack thereof, the slight choppiness, the consistency and lack thereof... Every single little exquisite detail tells you something. Reveals, emphasises or backs something up. Reveals part and parcel of the whole story or message the poet wants to tell.

If a poet chooses to write something in some way, there may be a special reason to it. It is up to you to figure it out, should you wish to.

The beauty of poetry.

Of course, mine is still a far cry from that. But I'm working on it.


Signing off... ...
Hate being defined by the actions of others.

Listening creates brain power

One step to the left,
One step to the right,
Tip-a-tapping,
Tip-a-tapping.

A lift of the chin,
A lift at the lips,
A spin to the left,
A spin to the right.

A look in the mirror,
A single figure,
With graceful leaping,
With perfect turnings.

Another figure,
With powerful actions,
Take heavy quicksteps,
Turn precise turnings.

Slow start and hold,
And then a quick push,
To facilitate sharp turns
To convey strong feelings.

Varying styles,
And personalities,
Fuse together,
And explode on contact.

But a sudden
trip,
Hard contact on floor,
Stop the turns,
Stop the leaps.

Hands assist,
And pain forgot,
Two figures again,
Stand up tall.

Frequent crashes,
Frequent pushes,
Interrupt rhythm,
Interrupt song.

But steps to the left,
Steps to the right,
A look to the right,
A look to the left,

Give the same
Lift of the chin,
Give the same
Lift at the lips.

As time pass by,
And patterns are noted,
As habits are learnt
And understanding taught,

The figures learn
A new complement, of
Tip-a-tapping,
Turn-a-turning.

------------------------------------------------

What?: Omg. Is that even my style of writing? I did try to write something slightly different to emphasise something... but some parts seem somewhat like someone else's style. I hope not, though...... Some parts just sounded extremely strange and 'urgh' to me. But ah well. Never mind. I'm rather satisfied with it =^^= There. My first poem that's not exactly sad and stressful. =) [Of all the times I have words that flow... It _always_ comes when I'm stressed or when I'm hard-pressed for time -___-"]

Listening, and arguing: Taken from an article:

To break the bad habit of arguing, ask for peoples opinions, and listen without
saying anything. Ask them to clarify, but don't offer even one contrary idea. If
you do this enough, you'll be surprised by how much you learn. Some of us
habitual debaters are also surprised by how difficult this simple technique can
be, but it works.

Hmm... Not that difficult for me, I think- =) Unless I'm being insulted in the process... And yea, I guess I do learn a lot. ^^ But hmm... This does sound rather familiar... Have I blogged about something similar before..? Can't remember.


Signing off... ...
Surprisingly cheerful, back to work.

High-tide, from 27/11/05

She lies
tied up and bound,
Open, Vulnerable,
against the sand.

The tide comes in,
the sound of water crashing against the shore,
ringing in her ears,
Each much louder than the one before.

The water level steadily rises,
crashing against her body relentlessly.
She panics.

She struggles against her bonds,
futile,
as the tide comes in still faster,
covering her legs.

Higher,
and higher.

It reaches for her face,
it's waves beating against her,
leaving her spluttering,
and helpless.

The water level continues to rise,
ignoring her cries of protest,
suffocating her.

Drowning her.


Signing off......
Come what may, I am here for you to deal as you wish

Test: You are the Loyalist

You Are the Loyalist

6 You have strong relationships and are intensely loyal. People find you easy to love and care for. You like your world to be stable and secure, no surprises. You're cautious. You prefer your inner circle to the outside world.

What number are you?

Whee-- Just some test thingy i took~ ^^ Like... in Nov 05 ^^;; Saw it as a draft in my list of posts and decided to post it anyway ^_^

Signing off... ...