The betraying of trust

I can't believe this. I deleted my previous post, which was filled with all my frustrations and well. Stuff. For someone. Whatever happened to freedom of speech? *sigh* Never mind...

I was forming my entry in my mind on my way home today but I think everything disappeared after I went out with my dad just now... ='( Never mind, I'll just write an entry anyway.


The incident today: I was trying to take some pictures of my friends today, while I was walking towards the MRT station with them. Two of them started acting cute and gay, so I took my camera out, ran in front of them, and snapped. It was a good picture, and it was cute, so I was pretty happy. (Mind you, they knew I was going to take a picture of them anyway) and then one of them asked whether he could see the photo. I passed the camera to him, then suddenly heard "I delete ar!" from behind me. I quickly turned around and shouted "NO!" at him rather loudly. I saw him make to press the delete button anyway and I started wrestling with him.

When I got it back, I realised that he had already deleted it. That got me pissed. I mean, it's not the photo that got me entirely pissed, it was the lack of respect for me as a person, and the lack of consideration for a _friend_. And at the beginning of the year he told me he'd take me as a one. What rubbish.

Lack of respect and consideration: This wasn't the first time. Ever since I knew him he has been telling me nothing but lies, playing with my emotions and using his words to control me. What I hated was that he said he was my FRIEND but he's hitting ALL my weak points anyway. He knows I don't know how to retort and handle all the 'suan'ing, but he does it anyway. What a friend.

I knew he was like that, but I trusted that he'd know his limits and not mess around with my things without my permission. _That's_ why I passed the camera to him. But NO!! He betrayed my trust, messed around with my pictures and deleted whatever he wanted. What happened to giving ME control over my own things? He asked me whether he could delete it. But if he was going to delete it ANYWAY regardless of my reply then it's equivalent to not asking at all. And it's plain RUDE, INCONSIDERATE, and DISRESPECTFUL. But no, I don't think he knows. Either that, or those words just aren't in his dictionary.

Look at it this way, before knowing them, NONE of my friends would have done such a thing. If they saw me reacting that violently to the idea of deleting it, they'd play around a bit but they wouldn't delete it. I believe that even the rest of the class wouldn't have deleted it. And I thought he was decent. Whole lot of rubbish. Decent, my ass.

It wasn't just the picture. It was a whole lot more when he did what he did.


OOPG: I don't really know what's going on, but everyone's been asking for my assignment codes. I mean, what for! I'm not even doing it the way the teacher wants it!! I'm happy doing it my way and I don't want anyone to COPY! But they don't wan't to listen to all that. They want to get it from me and circulate it around so everyone will get a copy. HELLO!!! I'm not even doing it the way the teacher wants it. It'll be DAMN obvious if they copied!! They don't care, do they. The penalty for copying is quite harsh. They ALL know that. But they don't care. No one does. They just think that if I get good marks and they copy, they'll get the good marks too. No one's counting on themselves. Except perhaps a rare few.

We can group up in pairs for the assignment, but it looks like I only have two choices -- either pair up with Chelsea or do it myself. I'm not doing it with anyone else. I don't trust that they'd keep it to themselves. The only one I thought was pretty decent dared to tell me that he'd pass it to his friend, who'd circulate it everywhere.

And really. almost all of them said they don't understand my codes. Then why bother to even use it?? Crazy bunch of people, the lot of them.


More CHOCO: Okay, enough frustrations for a day. Let's talk about HAPPIER things ^_^ I made choco last weekend, and my friends said it was good. So did my mum and bro. I just came back from buying more baking choco with my dad, and my mum said she got the chocolate moulds for me already. That means.... MORE CHOCO MAKING!!! ^_^ I'm planning to distribute the chocos to my friends and stuff next, next monday. Which means I probably have to wait till next week to cook em.

But... I can't wait any longer.... it's just so fun!! ^_^ And I heard it's pretty good... and I want to try more... some _person_ in my class keeps wanting to eat my choco and he was the ONLY one I gave 2 pieces to. And he still dared to demand for more the next day, even though I told him I didn't have any left. Argh. Anyway... Hm. You know what, I think I may just make the chocolate anyway this week ;) Whee~~~ =P


Signing off......

Screwed, me.

You suck.

You know that, don't you?
...

What's the point of dominating?
... None.
Then why do you do it anyway?
... I don't know.
You know it irritates people, don't you?
... Yes.
Is that your point then, to irritate?
... No...
Then... why?
... I don't know...

Where's your control?
... Gone with the wind.
Excuses, excuses.
...
Enjoy annoying the heck out of everyone, do you.
... No...
You need to have control.
... I know...
Learn it.
... Yes...


Conquer yourself.
... I'll try.
You aren't trying.
... I will...
Start now.
... Yes, tomorrow...
Start now.
... Tonight, I reflect.
You aren't reflecting.
... Give me time... I'll change...
...
I'll try my best, I promise.


Remember: Over-confidence gives the impression of arrogance.


Signing off... ...
Interrogation; Jerkies aren't nice.