Forgotten: I don't approve of some of the ways that my mind uses to get around things... When something happens that hurts me, and I have no time to talk with myself over it, or do something I really should about it, I let it slip from my mind.
A numbness takes over, and suddenly you don't feel anything anymore. The numbness is all that you feel. It's very relieving, and lets you get to sleep.
Then when you wake up, you don't remember any of it anymore. Not the hurt, not the details of the incident... Sometimes not even the incident itself.
The downside is, once another event triggers the remembrance of this one, the pain you feel doubles.
And then I try to forget again.
Forgiveness: Usually when someone does something bad, I don't blame it on that person. Not for more than a week or a few weeks, at the most.
When it gets longer than that, though, it says something. When it goes over months, I know it's not something I will be able to forgive just like that. Just because I want to.
If it's a breach of trust, the trust will have to be earned back. Not just trust on the whole, but in that particular aspect, fully. And trust, once broken, is extremely difficult(if not impossible) to earn back. I'm sure most of us, if not all, would have had such an experience before, and would understand what I'm talking about.
If possible at all, the process would take years. Surprisingly, each of my 2 closest friends had a particular incident that left an extremely bad impression in me, both of which will probably stay till the end of time. [Heh, manda will definitely know which one hers is... I couldn't forgive that one for years]
One particular person breached the trust I had between us at that time, and I haven't forgiven that person since. Not even when 10 + years have passed since then.
No one else has yet to reach the exact same level as that... Though there may have been close calls... One thing I hope for, is that nothing will never reach that phase again. That that number will not increase again.
1 is seriously more than enough.
Signing off... ...
I need to grow up
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