So tired... ...

I'm so sorry, whoever it is that's reading this... I haven't updated in ages... Haven't had the time... and am so extremely tired when I come back from school... I can't remember stuff that I wanted to blog about, so I shall just talk about things that are super recent -- like today.

Computing: Gosh, some certain people in my CT are irritating me... And I feel damn guilty during computing... A few people like to copy my programmes and just paste them as their own, without knowing how to do it!!! I mean, what's the point of doing computing then??? You might as well not come for the practical!! And if you don't know, there's always someone called the TEACHER that you can get help from!!! They keep bugging me to let them copy, but I feel that I'm not helping them at all. Friends? Hmf. I hardly feel like it. I feel like I'm only helping them to become worse in computing... I don't mind if they just look at how others do it and learn, but they're just copying wholesale!!! Fine, not all of the time, but still quite often. Some of the guys that _used_ to copy are doing everything on their own now. They even went to borrow books on computing. Like wow.

I know I'm ranting... sorry. Slightly pissed. You don't ask someone for help, piss her off at the same time, and then decide to copy her work. I'm not mentioning names. And the teacher had the idea that the guy was so smart to handle it on his own and thought that I had much difficulty handling mine. He even asked me "Can you cope? If you need any help you can ask me. " Like WHAT??? Argh. Thank you so much for your faith in me.

Fine. So I'm over-sensitive. But seriously, you shouldn't me telling me this when I'm trying my best to do everything on my own. And to think that usually my friends are sensible enough to try everything on their own. Obviously now it isn't the case... They don't realise I'm trying to help them grasp the subject better... Copying won't help. Trust me. I've been there.

O level results coming out: Whee. Another problem. Results are out in like, what? 3 days? And I am still unsure about where to go. Poly? JC? My friends will know how bloody lazy I am. Either route I will have to change myself and be more disciplined. Poly expects a lot from me, and I have a low self-esteem. How the heck can I handle myself in poly? Poly will probably demand more and train me more, while in JC there are opportunities for such training, though optional. Knowing myself, I'll probably need to go to poly.

Then come the next few problems... course and choice of poly. Merlin knows that I didn't get to go to ANY of the open houses. I. Am. So. Screwed. I'm thinking of either Singpapore Poly or Nanyang Poly, depending on the course I finally decide on. Animation I'm scared of entering, so on the safe side I better not... Interactive media design sounds like what I did in MMC in Secondary school, but I'm not sure. It sure sounds fun. And then there's Computer Science. Hmm. Follow my brother's footsteps? I don't know... Will I be able to handle it? If I go step by step I should be okay... right? Right? *sigh* I'm so damn dead.

I so badly need someone neutral to talk to me... Someone who won't keep pressurizing me to go to JC without even listening to me... 3 days... omg. I repeat -- I. Am. So. Screwed. Help.


Signing off... ...

V day... Howl's moving castle... 1 week more...

Howl's Moving Castle: Wah!!! I went to watch Howl's moving castle on Sunday with a friend... Was supposed to watch with some of my CT people... but so many people backed out so we had it cancelled... But it was nice!!!!!! Lots and lots of COTTON CANDY!!!!!! ^^ Heehee... Love the movie man!!

1 week more: Guess what happens in 1 week? I bet you already know... O level results! Many people start worrying about how their results will be like when they get their result slip... for me, I get stressed, and scared. 1 week... The day of the results means so many things to me...

Where to go: Firstly, where on earth do I go after I get my results? Continue on in JC? Or go to poly? I wanted to go to poly... but now? I'm not sure... I have no confidence in doing animation... Interactive media design? I dun even know what they'll be doing! Or just plain computer science like what my bro did? I don't know. And after I go poly, I still have to go to the U no matter what. I don't want to go overseas, which means that I have to get into the local univrsity... which means I have to start working and stop slacking once i get into poly... but in JC it's also not a guaranteed place in the U. It just means that I'll have higher chances of getting in... Wah. And my brother said that when you go into the university from poly, it'll be easier for you to understand what they teach. @.@ 1 week... 1 week more to decide... *sigh*

End of...: With the release of our results, it also means that I won't be able to stay with my OG, or my CT anymore... These few weeks have gotten me quite attached to them, and I can't bear to part with them... =( I just want things to remain as they are... though that's not quite possible...

V day: Okay, before you get the wrong idea, no, I didn't get anything. I gave away quite a lot of chocos though... and today Pei Yu gave me one packet in return. ^-^ For the past few days, I have been coming back late cause I was searching for the soft toys and stuff for the OGLs... Finally I got everything last night and came back home at 9, exhausted, and with an aching back (thanks to the fact that I had to carry the 3 wooden boxes with me). Today I tried looking for all the OG people to get the letters, but not everyone was finished with their notes, and I lost Melody's note to Jeff, which got me super anxious... then to my horror, a teacher announced that the Year 2s weren't having their common lunch with us -- which meant that there was no common break where we could get the OG together to give the OGLs their presents!! I freaked, naturally, and almost went into a panic attack. During my break, though, I saw the 3 OGLs at the canteen, and Melody and Li Min told me to give the stuff to them. With no choice since there wouldn't be another chance to see them, I gave the stuff to the OGLs, uncompleted (without all the notes from the OG peeps).

OGLs' reaction: That was what got me really happy and relieved and hyper for the rest of the day. I didn't even *almost* fall asleep during Computing Mathematics lecutre!! They looked really surprised (in a pleasant way I should think) and Jeff's motuh even dropped! ^^ It was so cute- Heehee... I wish that I had a conventional camera with me at the time though... then I could take pictures of their reactions... Wah. I hate my goldfish memory... I'm just hoping that the images will stay imprinted in my mind... ^^ I love my OGLs!!! ^^

Cosplay: There's one coming up next month... OMG, so little time... I'm doing Howl from Howl's moving caslte (like wow, my first time doing a guy in 2 years and erm... 3 or 4 months? In my cosplaying history anyway) BUT! I can't find a full body picture of the version I want to do on the net... Dammit... No time...


Signing off... ...

HAPPY CNY!!

First and foremost, I'd like to wish everyone an early HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!! Another 1 and a half hours more... Hope everyone who celebrates chinese new year get lots of angpows the next two days!! ^-^

Did you know? Do people realise that we're not supposed to visit people on the 3rd day of chinese new year? I bet you you didn't know that. Don't ask me why it's like that. It's just a tradition.

CNY celebration: The celebrations in school were quite okay... the lion dance was so cute!!!! The lion kept bouncing around and blinking its eyes. ^-^ Aww!! I was supposed to pass the oranges to my civics tutor, and I forgot to say all the 'gong xi fa cai' 'wan shi ru yi' thing... I just went there, shook his hand, said 'happy chinese new year', looked blur, passed him the oranges and walked off. Omg, how stupid can I get?

SC: After the school celebrations, I waited for Hui Shan and both of us took a bus for a few stops, before we decided to get off and take a cab instead. We rushed to SC only to find that most of the teachers had left, and so I decided to walk around for a bit before going to meet Momoko and Andrea. The two of them along with Yi Chun popped over to my house for a short while before I went out with Andrea.

P.S.: We went to PS to play arcade... and we saw this really cool yet cute girl... (At least in my opinion) We let her play her round first, and she was quite unlucky... she changed the options to something she didn't want, or she chose the wrong song... and she couldn't dance it... she cursed and then grabbed her bag and left. Heehee... She seemed quite down on her luck... But after that she came back and watched Andrea and I dance while waiting for her friends... Quite embarassing... I'm not good at freestyle... and there were so many people watching... Why did they have to take away the para machines on the highest floor?? Now E-zone's one is packed with people... Argh. But it was fun. ^-^

I give up... NOT

OG outing: Okay, so it didn't turn out as expected... Or rather... others already thought it was deemed to fail. I bet you it's because I was the one organising it... We went to eat, and then went to the arcade... but everyone didn't want to play para because the machine was right next to the glass window... I could see that everyone was dying of boredom... I wanted to just stop playing right there and then, but I put in the money already, so I couldn't possibly just leave right?? so I played the rest of the games as fast as possible, which obviously still wasn't fast enough... It seemed that some of them had more fun after we played the 3-puck game thing... but after that a few had to leave... including Sam.

After: The remaining people bought ice-cream, except for raymund, and then sat down underneath a tree to eat. Unluckily, a leaf landed in Chun Boon's ice-cream and he refused to eat it after that. ^^;; Kevin left then, and Raymund, Chun Boon, Peng Loong and I headed down to Orchard by squeezing into a packed MRT. Chun Boon left, leaving only 3 people. I needed to look for something, so Peng Loong and Raymund came along and helped. Then I went for class. End of outing. It was quite a failure, actually... Such a failure (it's the 2nd or 3rd time already, for me) that I don't think I ever want to organise another OG outing ever again...

Apologies: I apologise to everyone whom I kept bugging to go to the outing... As you see, it failed, so I guess you could say you didn't miss anything... Especially Jeff. I bugged him for like 2 hours... Argh. And I apologise to everyone for even suggesting the arcade.

CT: BUT!! I'm not giving up totally... I want my CT to go out together at least once... so as the CT rep, I'll have to try and get the class together... failed once already... don't want it to happen again.

Petanque: Next next thursday the J1s are going to Escape for 'experiential learning'. A small group of Petanque people are gonna go for dinner after CCA on the same day. I can't wait!! ^-^ Unfortunately, though, we haven't asked everyone whom we want to go yet... But right now, I'm loving it. Petanque people are nice. At least those J1s I know.

Fear: The OG is drifting apart, I can see... And no matter how hard I try to stay with them, I notice that less and less OG people stay together... O level results are coming out soon... and the time I'll get to spend with all of them will probably end soon... Scary... Should I try and spend more time with my CT instead? I really don't know... And Petanque... I don't want to leave it... Or the people...

But all things have to come to an end...


Signing off... ...

Imperfections

Irriitation: Argh. I'm so irritated with myself... I've been irritating people, I know it, and I'm not even sure why... I hate my cluelessness sometimes... It's like, I can't find out what people think is so irritating about me since I'm so blind... Someone please tell me what it is!!

Blindness: Some things can be glaring bright neon red right in front of my eyes and I won't even notice it. Okay, fine, I may notice it if it were really BRIGHT NEON RED in front of me... I mean, who wouldn't? But anything less obvious, and I'm lost. Seriously.

Story-telling time: I was walking home from the bus stop (it was about 9+ by the way) and was crossing this road leading out of a hotel, and this stupid car decided to turn in WITHOUT SIGNALLING while I was crossing the road. The road wasn't very narrow... It was quite big, so I had to run to get out of the way while it horned its way through. Geez, if I didn't know better I'd think the driver was trying to kill me. Or he was drunk. Or he just didn't know what SIGNALLING was for. If he even knew what it was...

Do I look unlikeable?: Okay, qn for the day. Was thinking about it... and then crossed another road, and halfway through, this bus which was passing by me (not across my path) suddenly horned. After crossing the road I turned back and realised that there wasn't a car in front of the bus, so that means that it was horning at me, right? But I wasn't doing anything! I wasn't even strolling across the road. I was walking at my normal speed, so there shouldn't have been a reason for the bus to horn at me, right? Right? Maybe I just look very 'qian bian', so the bus driver decided to horn at me to show his displeasure. Or maybe he/she was just PMS-ing... I was quite sleepy when I got off the bus, but after the two encounters, my eyes refused to close until I got to the safety of my house. Where I promtly got scolded. Whee. How fun.


Signing off... ...