Random Poem: The Significant Other

Warning: Random poem

I Look,
At The Scar That Marrs
The Ugly Face Before Me.

I Laugh,
And Pass,
With A Grimace,
A Cream,
To Heal The Scar That Showed.

I Look,
At The Splint That Digs
Deep Into The Side Of The Ugly Face.

I Sigh,
I Berate,
And Pull,
With Unecessary Force,
To Kindly Extract The Splint From the Face.

I Feel,
With A Jolt,
As Another Punches Me Across My Face.

I Fall,
Painfully,
A Stinging In My Cheek,
Numbing My Jaw,
Numbing My Senses.

I stood shakily,
trembling,
shocked
at the impact.

I blindly grope,
looking
for a friend,
for a wall,
for a support,
to steady me.

I fall as I miss,
and paused,
as I saw a drop of water
land on the floor.

I stood again,
and glanced at the other,
and saw
tears,
falling
from the eyes of his ugly face.


A/N: Thanks to the one who gave me the inspiration for this ;) Short drabble? Dunno, written in a rush in about a half hour or less. I ought to go sleep now ^^;; Goodnight!

Signing off... ...

Warnings: Bad Luck Ramble, Fangirling and HOMESTAY

Warning: Bad luck ramble.

Yes, I'm gonna be rambling about my bad luck recently, and of course, just some random rambles... So I guess if you're not up for that you can skip this entry ^^;;

Karaoke: Okay... Err first start of it all was when I went karaoke with Skye and this other girl- Twas quite fun, and there was a sudden time when I suddenly found a lot of songs that I actually knew, so I took the remote up and started keying them in one by one.

Loads of them.

Then after that, I suddenly realised that my songs weren't going in. It was really weird cause it was only I who was having that problem, and I wasn't pressing anything wrongly. It would go through for a moment, and then suddenly disappear. In the end, I just got so frustrated I just asked my friends to key my songs in for me -___-"

Testi: Someone whose testi I'd been waiting for and wanted for a really long time (like what, almost a year?) came in a week or two ago... And stupid friendster did not show most of the testi cause '<'s and '>'s were used at some point in it.

And as stupid things do, like Blogger and Friendster, they delete everything in between the two characters.

Was really quite upset and disappointed, cause that person forgot what he wrote for the most of it... So I guess I most probably won't be getting it now.

There goes another star for Friendster.

'Surprise': Made something for someone a while back as a surprise... Had to do a bit of brainstorming and planning for it due to time constraints and my lack of creative juices- Ended up, it turned out all wrong cause of my miscalculation (is that even a right word to use?) and ended up upsetting that person during the meet-up.

And my 'present' triggered another round of unhappiness as well. No happy smiles, no nothing. Guess this was a first time my planned surprise failed.

Wouldn't say it didn't ended up being a surprise. Just in another way, I suppose-

Chocolates: Made chocolates on Sunday- Turned out the quality of the dark chocolate I used wasn't that good... So I didn't quite like it -_-" And I semi-broke my 2 new chocolate moulds. Argh. Terrible.

Good thing, though, is that my chocolates actually looked decent =D Heh. _That_ was one thing I loved.

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End back luck ramble, start random ramble
--------------------------------------------

Heroes: OMG I am SO in love!!! ANDO AND HIRO ARE JUST SO... SO... so... CUTE TOGETHER!! Of course, it could be just me, but that doesn't stop me from fangirling them anyway. They're really so darn sweet! Even as friends~ *sighs dreamily*

Soukyuu no Fafner: Okay, so there's another pair in there I'm fangirling but I shall spare you the agony and get to the main point.

Today, I was reminded of something Skye warned me about the show... About the fact that there was quite some angst and tragedy and stuff... I was on episode 6 and I saw someone die already @.@ She died stupidly, but that doesn't stop the fact that she died anyway. And then, some comments Skye made from last time flowed back to me and now I'm dreading watching to the end of the show... I so foresee buckets of tears or something. @.@ Gah.

But I'm already relatively addicted to the show, so... @.@ Oh no...

Homestay: Oh, yes! This time, I have been 'approved' (from those around me) to volunteer to host a student from Hiroshima =D In my own home! OMG I'M SO EXCITED!!! This is seriously one of my like dreams or something... Something I've always always ALWAYS wanted to do like for such a long time...

Manda knew how upset I was when I couldn't participate in the hosting events the past few times, and how seriously sad I felt this time around when I almost couldn't... And how despondent and resigned I was. Thankfully I can, now. Thankfully. *heaves a huge sigh of relief*

I'm really so happy.

Now I just have to wait for the interview from the school - the last barrier I have to pass before I'm confirmed.. =D

Arrogance: Ok, so that kinda gets on my nerves nowadays... I get quite irritated inside when I hear someone talking like they know the answers to everything, like the person they're talking to is more ignorant than them, or when they they cut in other people's conversations to answer something or answer some question with this air of 'omg are you seriously that dumb?' or 'i can't believe u dont know that' tone.

It just makes the other person feel inferior, annoyed, mocked at, and whatever else. And well. Gives people the impression that you're arrogant, and annoying. But I guess when these stuff happen, they probably don't realise it.

Of course, I realise annoyance, anger, and arrogance are totally different things, though that really is hardly the point ^^;; in case anyone else has that thought passing through their mind. I guess I should start watching myself too, and be careful.

And, of course, curb my annoyance level so that it doesn't accidentally come across as arrogance.

Emotions: I so have to learn to curb and take control of my emotions. I laid my emotions flat on a board, and I want to take control of it again... A passing storm across the said board is enough to kill me.


Alright, I think I've rambled enough. Shall end here now. =^^=



Signing off... ...

16th June 2007

Alright, yes, I'm cheating. Backdated this entry ^^;;

16th June: Yep, special day. Anywayz, went out with Clar... And 'twas extremely surprising and good cause he was actually, surprisingly, uncharacteristically in a good and positive mood..! =D Okay, so I sound like I'm exaggerating, but twas really a pleasant, happy surprise =D

Suki Sushi: I super super love suki sushi- What with all the... well, sushi. And sashimi, and... and... well. SUSHI! =D *drools* I gorged myself, as usual, and twas really good- I, personally, have a much better experience with Suki Sushi than Sakae... but I am probably going to try Sakae again soon with my dad or something- Let's see how they might redeem themselves =P Heh.

The downside was, of course, the long wait everytime we made a sashimi order. -_-" Clar suspects, as do I, that they probably have to go find and catch the fish after we make an order -___-" We always have to wait like 45 mins for it- The first time we went, my sashimi came 3 reminders and over an hour later, after the rest of the food came. -____-"

This time, due to the fact that we got quite full, we cancelled an order (which we made like quite a while back too)

I would ramble on much more... but I don't really know how to go about that, so... I guess I shall end here... For now. ^^


Signing off... ...
Ichi nen omedetou-

A spot of angst

Warning: Emotional post up ahead. I'm not in my right mind.

Blowing up: I don't know what's wrong with me... But I've just gotten so sick and tired of explaining stuff to people... Some unfortunate soul messaged me on MSN while I was at work today... And the main gist was that he decided to assume the worst from my words and start accusing me of saying that he was 'too free' and that he was dumb and stuff... When all I said was 'yeah, cause some of us have a lot of stuff to complete-' (I can't remember the exact words but it's something like that and I mentioned a deadline somewhere) in reply to his 'you guys are so busy?' when he learnt that we tapao-ed our food to eat in the office again.

After his rant, I started replying coldly and curtly (and as a result, rudely) for a few lines, then finally managed to force myself to cool down after a while. I just really hated explaining myself that I had half the urge to just go offline... Thankfully I forced myself to just type, and cleared it up. [Of course, there was also the fact that it was that particular guy- He always gets on my nerves >_<]

Closing up: What's wrong with me, I wonder. Recently, everytime there's some stupid misunderstanding or accusations or tantrum-throwing, I just shut myself up cause the option to explain was just too tiring.

Way too tiring.

I guess I've been way too spoilt by my friends, when they read and intepret things without having to ask you to bare your heart out every time, or of course, the friends that just don't notice, or don't delve into it when you don't reply them.

Sometimes when an opening is forced open, the door just closes up even more to prevent the intrusion.

Now, I'm trying doubly hard to stop the door from closing, or open it up even more, amidst the crowd flood. I've been trying.

Sorry to the one I may have affected the most cause of this... You know who you are.

Not nice: I've had people telling me nice things, saying that I'm 'nice', 'cheery' and whatever-not... And I sometimes feel ashamed when I hear it, cause sometimes I know I'm not. Don't really know how much of that I still have in me, if it had existed in the past... And sometimes when I hear something good someone says about me, a comment or thought of a close one about me that said otherwise passes through. 'Cheery'..? Am I really? Cause if I am, I sure haven't been feeling much of it as of late... Not that I haven't, of course, just not overly so that someone would feel inclined to describe me as such.

What about 'nice'? Utter nonsense. I do what I like, what I enjoy. Nothing else.

Although I'm starting to wonder if I still do so. And then, I wonder... What am I now, then..?

I've had words like 'self-righteous', 'naive', and a whole lot of others I can't rememer thrown at me. Half of which I normally wouldn't have paid any heed to... And yet now, I can't help but wonder......

I'm hoping that this spot of angst came out only cause I'm tired... ... I'm hoping.


Signing off... ...
Blank.