Live Your Life

Not too long ago, someone asked me, "What do you wish to accomplish while you're alive?" My answer..?

"Live my life."

Live my life: I expect I didn't make much sense to the person who asked me the question. It made perfect sense to me, however. It may be easy to some, but for me..? I see it as lifelong challenge. Especially since I went though Polytechnic.

I used to stand in my own way, my introverted nature and timidness forming this endlessly high wall in front of me. I have tried to chip the wall away bit by bit since I discovered the existence of the wall, and do what I really want. People experiment in primary or secondary school with their CCAs, but I was late, and did my experimentation during my stay in the polytechnic.

That wall I had is now gone, and yet... a wall of another nature has been created. This wall is one I cannot chip away at. A wall that has to disintegrate on its own, yet also a wall that I can take an extremely long and tiring detour around, should I really wish to.

University is going to start... And I really want to give my all during my stay. I want to do things. I want to let myself go and enjoy myself, do myself and my family proud. I want to put everything I can into my schoolwork, into my curricular activities. Do what I want. Do what I'm passionate about. Make myself happy, make my stay in University a fulfilling one. Leave myself with good memories and to have no regrets upon graduation.

I realise that this would be my last chance to really involve myself in all these different activities.

My last chance.

And I really don't want to spoil it. The question is whether I have the ability to fulfill this wish of mine.

Foreshadowing: I figured that the outcome would ultimately show me how I would be living the rest my of life. Whether I was to let the paths I take be decided by others, or whether I would take a stand and keep it grounded.

Many would have no doubts on which they would choose, but me? My heart is currently torn in two. Desperately wishing to take one path, yet knowing that I would most likely go down the other.

It is not always just my wishes that decide the path I take. Sometimes, external factors (though some would see it as sheer cowardice) would affect my decisions and steer me away from the path I had my eyes on.


Signing off... ...
To live my life, or to live someone else's?