Myself: Argh. I'm getting bloody irritating recently, I realised... I have no idea what's wrong... but I haven't just been _acting_ weirdly... I reflected, and found that my morals have been well... I don't really have a word for it. Just that, I compare myself now to who I was a year or two ago, and I'm greatly alarmed at the difference.
Most, of not all, of my good _old_ friends would know that I'm a true blue Gryffindor. And I know Slytherin too. And she would give me all the 'OMG, you're truly Gryffindor...' comments and she would say it as if it were a bad thing. Okay, those good friends will know exactly who I'm talking about, but the point is, I realise that I've become more, well, aloof. And I'm losing those 'Gryffindor' traits. I'm starting to get more self-centered and I hate it. Recently I tend to talk more about myself, and it's pissing. Really really REALLY pissing.
It's true you know -- how easy it is to listen to the 'devil', or rather, the bad side of you... It takes more effort to be good once you step into the 'bad' side... What I used to do without thinking, I hesitate too much to do now. And in the end, I just don't do it. Like... I can't think of an example now... but I know the change is there. My manners have worsened, and I can't even talk too politely now... The last only came about after entering JC, and seriously, I'm quite apalled by it. I know how it happened-- it happened in an extremely futile attempt to be less 'shy' when meeting new people. Now that I've succeeded, I feel like I've lost a lot more... and that... isn't good.
Harry Potter, and SNARRY!!: Okay, my old friends will know what I'm talking about, again. Heheh... Yes, yes, I've fallen again. Probably just as badly as before... I was watching the Harry Potter movies at home, and like OMG, I fell. If memory serves me right, I belive I gushed somewhere halfway through the show... particularly at the Snarry bits. Of course, the DracoHarry bits made me go crazy too... but *cough* that's not the point. ^^;; I doubt my new friends will understand half of this, but, ah well. Their opinion of me might change if they _do_ realise what I'm talking about... ^^;; Anyway, don't mind me if I start gushing about Snarry the next time I talk to you, whoever you are.
Work: Okay, so I just sent the email to Popular asking for a job... and I do hope it turns out well... The email didn't turn out exactly like I wanted it... (Like I said, I don't know where my politeness and manners went to. Probably on holiday or something...) But I do hope it didn't give too bad an impression. The standard of that email compared to the one I sent during the December holidays to a restaurant (which didn't succeed may I add) was miles apart, and not in the good way. Ah well. I guess all I can do now is wait.
Mannerism: Okay, I pissed my mum off, and my dad too, in the course of the last few hours. Argh. I don't know how my brother can control himself so well... I just can't do it. I screamed at my dad, and then argued with my mum. Not a good way to spend the evening. And after I screamed at my dad, he wanted to go back to his laptop, but I was sitting in the chair somewhere along the way to his destination. He blocked my only exit and said 'move'. I stared at him, and he repeated "move, I want to go through". How the freak do you expect me to move?? I wasn't exactly in a good mood so I stared at his feet pointedly and went "You move back. I can't make way with you blocking me!" And obviously, he complied. Bet you he wasn't happy. But thankfully everyone in my family is forgiving. Not long after I calmed down, everyone was happy again. ^-^
Follow the leader?: "Why are you following me?" "I am not." "Yes, you are." "What makes you think so?" A stare. "You are."
Yes, I know. I am. So I deny it, but hey, I never realised until you actually pointed it out to me. Sure, that incident had been in a literal sense. But I went home to think about it. Am I following you blindly? Am I? I don't know. It's been second nature, I guess. A role model, in a way. But when I think about it, I'm following him because I want to be able to do what he does, right? Because I want to learn. NOT because he's doing it. We just happen to have similar interests. Like how I developed an interest in Japanese, and then realised that he learnt it before too.
I guess it's in the blood. " There are so many seats in front, why must you stand behind me? I'm happy standing here." So I go and sit instead. I wasn't exactly doing it because he said it. It was because he pointed it out. I could have just stood there anyway, but that would have been stupid. I mean, there were seats right in front of the TV, why should I _not_ sit and stand at the back like a fool? Really, the silliness of it.
The similarities are uncanny, but I just can't help but notice some differences too. His will, I suppose, is so much stronger than mine. So is his mind. Me? I'm so easily influenced that even _I_ am getting furious abou it. Since young, my mum said that I was smarter than he was. I didn't believe that though. He has the potential, and is hardworking. Me? I'm neither. Potential? Perhaps I do have it, somewhere deep, hidden. Just waiting to be uncovered. I like to think it that way.
Argh. I think I've revealed too much. My mind just wandered I suppose... I know I'll get teased by Amanda for rambling again, but I guess that's just how I do stuff. ^^;; Ah well.
Apologies to all: Sorry for the extremely long-winded entry. I haven't updated in ages, and I kinda got carried away... ^^;;;
Signing off...... (I'll work hard... I'll try my best...)
Monday 28 March 2005
Sunday 20 March 2005
I dunno wat 'm doing...
The clock's ticking....
Two more days...
38 hours, 3 mins.
My head's spinning,
Everything's a blur...
What am I still doing here?
Wasting my time in front of the computer?
I should be writing
Writing the letters I promised
But my mind isn't working,
I can't think...
I need more time,
More time with my new friends
With my school...
I promised I'd work hard
I really thought I could...
But save for computing,
I haven't kept to my word...
I need more time...
Much more...
But... ... ...
.
.
The clock keeps ticking...
Two more days...
38 hours, 3 mins.
My head's spinning,
Everything's a blur...
What am I still doing here?
Wasting my time in front of the computer?
I should be writing
Writing the letters I promised
But my mind isn't working,
I can't think...
I need more time,
More time with my new friends
With my school...
I promised I'd work hard
I really thought I could...
But save for computing,
I haven't kept to my word...
I need more time...
Much more...
But... ... ...
.
.
The clock keeps ticking...
Wednesday 16 March 2005
^^ Another success!!
OG bbq: Yesterday was my OG bbq, and it was really fun!! ^-^ Went to the dentist in the morning, ate lunch with my mum, and then rushed down to Pasir Ris. It was super early when I got there-- I still had half an hour. To my surprise, not long after I reached there, Darryl and Bei Jia arrived. We decided to go walk around White Sands since it was still super early, and lobstered along the way.
Shopping: After everyone came, we started our shopping. I think I ended up screaming and scolding some people cause they refused to listen (or was my voice too soft?) before we actually settled anything. Anyway, we finally finished our shopping and headed down to Pasir Ris park. I took out my camera and started taking photos of our fellow OG26 members, and many started dodging away from my camera. =^^= When we reached Pasir Ris park, we spent quite some time playing at the beach and at the playground before we actually started the fire.
Lost hp: Unfortunately though, Jeff lost his handphone while we were playing at the spider web. I kept dialing his handphone number in hope that someone would pick it up but no one did. When we were climbing the spider web, there was only a malay boy behind Jeff and he disappeared not soon after Jeff lost his handphone. The fact that there was no one else was there meant that he was the only one who could have taken it right? Stupid kid. Don't they go to school?? Haven't their teachers, or their parents for that matter, taught them NOT TO STEAL???!!! Stupid idiotic blasted kids. I can't believe it. He's so darn freaking young and is already stealing. And it was Jeff's new phone too. Damn them.
Fun stuff: Okay, enough cursing. Away from that, our OG started the fire not long after we returned to the pit. Jeff had to leave and most of the rest of the OG left to go play, leaving Raymund, Rachel and I to do the cooking (coincedentally the same few from our OG who helped with the Pegasus figure). By night I was slacking and leaving the cooking to some of the other people. I lied down on the mat on the grass and looked at the stars, and like whoa, it was so cool!! Dean was talking about some stuff about the stars and I learnt that the three stars in a row shows where the north and south are. Thing is, Dean doesn't know how to tell which end is North and which end is South. Which was amusing. He spent some time racking his brain but in the end he only knew where was north because we were next to the beach which was facing the east. ^^;;; I didn't get to cycle though... And I was looking forward to it. =(
Games and apologies: Lots of stuff happened during the bbq, and we played games like zhong ji mi ma. Jing Lun came late, and I ended up screaming at him over the phone cause the OG was too noisy. Nobody seemed to listen when I asked someone to accompany me to look for Jing Lun, which got me slightly irritated. Sorry Jing Lun!! He thought I was angry with him, I think.... ^^;;; Also want to apologise to Bei Jia for getting so irritated with her... Looks like I'm not the only one with a goldfish memory... She kept asking me the same question over and over again. ^^;;;
Anyway, the bbq was extremely fun, and a success~ ^^ Not all who said will go turned up though, but I guess this is the best we could get-- ^^ It was really fun!!! ^-^ Love you all, OG26!!
Special thanks: Thanks to all those who came for the bbq and especially those who came early to help with the shopping-- Darryl, Bei Jia, Dean, Raymund, Han song, Rachel and Jeff. And also Uncle and Shuxian for helping us bring stuff like the chicken and satay. ^-^ You guys made the bbq a great success!! *whistles* =^^=
Sick: I could feel myself falling sick on the morning of the bbq, but I didn't want to skip it, so I found myself feeling horrible yesterday morning when I woke up. Spent the entire yesterday sleeping, and only went to see the doctor at about 8+ in the evening. The doctor was quite blur... I went in half-asleep, and when my mum asked whether I had a fever, I said 'I don't know'. The doctor looked at me, squeezed my hand and said "I don't think she has a fever'. But on the safe side, he took out the thermometer and took my temperature anyway. "Oh, she has a slight fever-- 38 degrees" he said, which got me quite bewildered. I looked at the thermometer and saw '38.0', and I wondered-- That wasn't considered slight, was it? But I was feeling grubby and sick so I just let it go. I collected my medicine and left the clinic feeling very blur. Still coughing and having a runny nose and everything... but oh well.
Hear something different?: Yep, I changed my background song!! ^-^ It's from Howl's moving castle (AKA Howl no ugoku shiro). Thought it was about time I changed the song, so I settled on this one. Especially with my recent photoshoot and all... ^^
Another haphazard entry... Too lazy to type a proper one...
Signing off... ...
Shopping: After everyone came, we started our shopping. I think I ended up screaming and scolding some people cause they refused to listen (or was my voice too soft?) before we actually settled anything. Anyway, we finally finished our shopping and headed down to Pasir Ris park. I took out my camera and started taking photos of our fellow OG26 members, and many started dodging away from my camera. =^^= When we reached Pasir Ris park, we spent quite some time playing at the beach and at the playground before we actually started the fire.
Lost hp: Unfortunately though, Jeff lost his handphone while we were playing at the spider web. I kept dialing his handphone number in hope that someone would pick it up but no one did. When we were climbing the spider web, there was only a malay boy behind Jeff and he disappeared not soon after Jeff lost his handphone. The fact that there was no one else was there meant that he was the only one who could have taken it right? Stupid kid. Don't they go to school?? Haven't their teachers, or their parents for that matter, taught them NOT TO STEAL???!!! Stupid idiotic blasted kids. I can't believe it. He's so darn freaking young and is already stealing. And it was Jeff's new phone too. Damn them.
Fun stuff: Okay, enough cursing. Away from that, our OG started the fire not long after we returned to the pit. Jeff had to leave and most of the rest of the OG left to go play, leaving Raymund, Rachel and I to do the cooking (coincedentally the same few from our OG who helped with the Pegasus figure). By night I was slacking and leaving the cooking to some of the other people. I lied down on the mat on the grass and looked at the stars, and like whoa, it was so cool!! Dean was talking about some stuff about the stars and I learnt that the three stars in a row shows where the north and south are. Thing is, Dean doesn't know how to tell which end is North and which end is South. Which was amusing. He spent some time racking his brain but in the end he only knew where was north because we were next to the beach which was facing the east. ^^;;; I didn't get to cycle though... And I was looking forward to it. =(
Games and apologies: Lots of stuff happened during the bbq, and we played games like zhong ji mi ma. Jing Lun came late, and I ended up screaming at him over the phone cause the OG was too noisy. Nobody seemed to listen when I asked someone to accompany me to look for Jing Lun, which got me slightly irritated. Sorry Jing Lun!! He thought I was angry with him, I think.... ^^;;; Also want to apologise to Bei Jia for getting so irritated with her... Looks like I'm not the only one with a goldfish memory... She kept asking me the same question over and over again. ^^;;;
Anyway, the bbq was extremely fun, and a success~ ^^ Not all who said will go turned up though, but I guess this is the best we could get-- ^^ It was really fun!!! ^-^ Love you all, OG26!!
Special thanks: Thanks to all those who came for the bbq and especially those who came early to help with the shopping-- Darryl, Bei Jia, Dean, Raymund, Han song, Rachel and Jeff. And also Uncle and Shuxian for helping us bring stuff like the chicken and satay. ^-^ You guys made the bbq a great success!! *whistles* =^^=
Sick: I could feel myself falling sick on the morning of the bbq, but I didn't want to skip it, so I found myself feeling horrible yesterday morning when I woke up. Spent the entire yesterday sleeping, and only went to see the doctor at about 8+ in the evening. The doctor was quite blur... I went in half-asleep, and when my mum asked whether I had a fever, I said 'I don't know'. The doctor looked at me, squeezed my hand and said "I don't think she has a fever'. But on the safe side, he took out the thermometer and took my temperature anyway. "Oh, she has a slight fever-- 38 degrees" he said, which got me quite bewildered. I looked at the thermometer and saw '38.0', and I wondered-- That wasn't considered slight, was it? But I was feeling grubby and sick so I just let it go. I collected my medicine and left the clinic feeling very blur. Still coughing and having a runny nose and everything... but oh well.
Hear something different?: Yep, I changed my background song!! ^-^ It's from Howl's moving castle (AKA Howl no ugoku shiro). Thought it was about time I changed the song, so I settled on this one. Especially with my recent photoshoot and all... ^^
Another haphazard entry... Too lazy to type a proper one...
Signing off... ...
Sunday 13 March 2005
DAI SEIKOU!! ^-^
Howl no ugoku shiro photoshoot: DAI SEIKOU!! =^^= Today we had the photoshoot for the small Howl's moving castle group... and it was a success~ Really nice photos, and really funny ones, and a few retarded ones too. ^^ I looked like a baby Howl in some of the pictures though, because of my somewhat chubby face-- But other than that, the pictures were great~ At least in my opinion. ^^ YeaH!!
CT outing: Kore mo DAI SEIKOU!! ^^ My class finally went for a class outing!! ^-^ We ate lunch, played pool, played arcade... ^^ Pretty fun!! Meiling and Pei Yu will know that someone pissed me off during the outing... but it was great seeing everyone enjoy themselves~ ^^ My CT people aint that bad... pretty nice in fact... Still love my OG just as much, or more, though... ^-^ Meiling and William came over to my house after the outing for a while... we played the dancing mat thing, throwing darts thing, and played with the PS2. ^^ All in all it was pretty fun. Only downside to the day was my aching back.
Signing off... ...
CT outing: Kore mo DAI SEIKOU!! ^^ My class finally went for a class outing!! ^-^ We ate lunch, played pool, played arcade... ^^ Pretty fun!! Meiling and Pei Yu will know that someone pissed me off during the outing... but it was great seeing everyone enjoy themselves~ ^^ My CT people aint that bad... pretty nice in fact... Still love my OG just as much, or more, though... ^-^ Meiling and William came over to my house after the outing for a while... we played the dancing mat thing, throwing darts thing, and played with the PS2. ^^ All in all it was pretty fun. Only downside to the day was my aching back.
Signing off... ...
Thursday 10 March 2005
Whee!!! OG BBQ!!!
OG BBQ: ^-^ My mum just helped to book the BBQ pit, and it sounds like a very good spot~ ^-^ I can't wait to go... I just hope and pray like crazy that it doesn't rain... Else I have to go kick something... Yep yep. I was busy calling everyone the last 2 days, and just now, I called Camille. She took so long to pick up the phone that when she did I forgot who I was looking for. I stared at the list and asked for 'xue jing', then I suddenly remembered that I already called her house... I started saying 'shit' and looking at the list all over again before I remembered that I called Camille. I think she thought I was crazy or something... ^^;;;; Sadly, she can't go... most of the rest of the OG can though, which is good. ^^
I ponned: Today computing was cancelled, and I had a 3h break before GP. After considering for quite some time, I decided to pon GP and come home first. I had an agenda on what to do once I reached home, but I forgot 1 most important thing the moment I started on the agenda. I settled the BBQ pit thing, played my PS, showered, and then realised that I forgot to write the notes to my friends in NY!!! AHHHHHHhhhhh!!!! I'm so screwed!!! I'll have to do my OG one during the weekend and give it to them during the barbeque... And I have 15 more minutes before I have to leave for Petanque... Wah. I think I better go now before I run late... =(
Haphazard entry, I know... But I'm in a rush so.........
Signing off... ...
I ponned: Today computing was cancelled, and I had a 3h break before GP. After considering for quite some time, I decided to pon GP and come home first. I had an agenda on what to do once I reached home, but I forgot 1 most important thing the moment I started on the agenda. I settled the BBQ pit thing, played my PS, showered, and then realised that I forgot to write the notes to my friends in NY!!! AHHHHHHhhhhh!!!! I'm so screwed!!! I'll have to do my OG one during the weekend and give it to them during the barbeque... And I have 15 more minutes before I have to leave for Petanque... Wah. I think I better go now before I run late... =(
Haphazard entry, I know... But I'm in a rush so.........
Signing off... ...
Tuesday 8 March 2005
Frustration
Argh. To prevent myself from screaming, scolding and being sarcastic on my blog too much, i decided not to upload a few entries... so I didn't update for quite some time... sorry, yar?
Frustrations: Stuff stuff. Too much to even start... And even if I do I'll probably end up pissing myself off anyway. Oh well.
Poly: I'm pretty nervous about going to poly... I don't really know what to expect... and the only person I know going to SP is not in the same course and has a good friend going there too... so that means I can't hang around him too much... Argh... Freaky, really. But I made the decision and I gotta deal with it.
Separation: The hols are coming, and that means that everyone will be going to their different schools soon... I'll miss everyone... especially my OG... We're having a barbeque this coming monday, and might be our last time together as a whole... Let's all have fun on that day!! ^-^ As for my CT, I'm going to try to organise an outing. This friday maybe? Yep. Wish me luck. ;)
Signing off... ...
Frustrations: Stuff stuff. Too much to even start... And even if I do I'll probably end up pissing myself off anyway. Oh well.
Poly: I'm pretty nervous about going to poly... I don't really know what to expect... and the only person I know going to SP is not in the same course and has a good friend going there too... so that means I can't hang around him too much... Argh... Freaky, really. But I made the decision and I gotta deal with it.
Separation: The hols are coming, and that means that everyone will be going to their different schools soon... I'll miss everyone... especially my OG... We're having a barbeque this coming monday, and might be our last time together as a whole... Let's all have fun on that day!! ^-^ As for my CT, I'm going to try to organise an outing. This friday maybe? Yep. Wish me luck. ;)
Signing off... ...
Tuesday 1 March 2005
Stars galore
I know I had a lot more I wanted to say... I'll talk more about it when I remember... ^^;;
O level: Okay, for those who don't want to listen, please skip this section into the next. Yep. I received my O level results yesterday... and like I didn't really know what I was expecting. I kept my mind a blank, so that I wouldn't be too shocked if I got bad results, or below expectation. I took the paper, and the first number I saw was '8'. I stared at it for some time, then realised that that wasn't my score. I looked all over the paper, and then found out that my teacher wrote it at the top right hand corner. A '10'. I didn't know what to think. I wasn't sad, nor really happy. I was quite satisfied, actually. Until I saw my other classmates.
Quite a few of my friends got 8, and a friend who got 10 too started crying, and couldn't stop. And when she did, she stared blankly into space looking depressed. I was kind of comforting her, but I felt quite silly, considering that I got the same marks as her. As for the rest of 4PE, I know they all got really high. Congrats all you gals!! ^-^ Have fun in your JC k?
As for my OG, like whoa, so many people got so high... I mean low. Wateva. 7s and 8s and 9s... like WHOA. Inferior me.
My CT? Smart asses too. Quite a lot got 9... 11... so my mark is about the average there... Thankfully. Dunno what to think. Oh, guess what? My English got an A1!!! Like wow! And my chem got an A2. My Physics didn't get the A1 I wanted though... got an A2... My humaninities? As usual. B3 and C5. Like ouch. The C5 is like this thorn in my result slip. ... Oh well. And to think I used to score well in lit. Look at me now.
OG outing: I should think there should be another coming up... soon. 10 in January, 0 in feb. I hope those who thought that we were having too many outings are happy. I kinda miss them. ^-^ Can't wait for it to come. ^^
Where to go: Finally decided where to go. And what to do. Like this afternoon. ^^;;; My course? Information Technology (Information systems option) Singapore poly, here I come.
Signing off... ...
O level: Okay, for those who don't want to listen, please skip this section into the next. Yep. I received my O level results yesterday... and like I didn't really know what I was expecting. I kept my mind a blank, so that I wouldn't be too shocked if I got bad results, or below expectation. I took the paper, and the first number I saw was '8'. I stared at it for some time, then realised that that wasn't my score. I looked all over the paper, and then found out that my teacher wrote it at the top right hand corner. A '10'. I didn't know what to think. I wasn't sad, nor really happy. I was quite satisfied, actually. Until I saw my other classmates.
Quite a few of my friends got 8, and a friend who got 10 too started crying, and couldn't stop. And when she did, she stared blankly into space looking depressed. I was kind of comforting her, but I felt quite silly, considering that I got the same marks as her. As for the rest of 4PE, I know they all got really high. Congrats all you gals!! ^-^ Have fun in your JC k?
As for my OG, like whoa, so many people got so high... I mean low. Wateva. 7s and 8s and 9s... like WHOA. Inferior me.
My CT? Smart asses too. Quite a lot got 9... 11... so my mark is about the average there... Thankfully. Dunno what to think. Oh, guess what? My English got an A1!!! Like wow! And my chem got an A2. My Physics didn't get the A1 I wanted though... got an A2... My humaninities? As usual. B3 and C5. Like ouch. The C5 is like this thorn in my result slip. ... Oh well. And to think I used to score well in lit. Look at me now.
OG outing: I should think there should be another coming up... soon. 10 in January, 0 in feb. I hope those who thought that we were having too many outings are happy. I kinda miss them. ^-^ Can't wait for it to come. ^^
Where to go: Finally decided where to go. And what to do. Like this afternoon. ^^;;; My course? Information Technology (Information systems option) Singapore poly, here I come.
Signing off... ...
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