Run!

I continue to stagger forth as the approaching

Flames threaten to take me, and even as

Exhaustion consumes my body from prolonged

Running and

Sprinting

I have to persevere...

Signing off... ...

Lost

It's been way long since I last updated >_< Sorry about that!! *brushes away some cobwebs*

School: School has started, and has been one hell of a ride. I've got a load of stuff, with hardly anyone to bitch about it to. I just wanna block everyone out of my life sometimes and reconnect myself with the world once this is all over.

I won't say I'm stressed... But I'm just at a point when it'd be great if I could run away. Not from work, but from everything else, so that I can do my work.

I'm behind schedule in my practicals, don't know what I'm supposed to study for my 2 midterm tests this week, have a load of tutorials that I'm struggling to understand... The list goes on.

Wish me luck. This week's gonna be hell.

Signing off... ...

over

I finally have the time to blog again... It's been a hectic time since the last time I typed into this little box in Blogger.

Over: It's over.. Finally. The end of the FYP presentation and deadline is more relieving than the exams proper - that much I can say for everyone in my semester. The moment the presentation was done, when we shook hands with the client, got a pat on the back... There was this enormous weight that was lifted off my chest.

That Monday, I left the school feeling like I was walking on air.

I felt like I should be off somewhere celebrating, but the exhaustion, coupled with my yet-to-be cured illness, had me going home and surrendering to rest... For a good many hours.

From that day till now, I've been chilling out. But soon I will have to slap myself back to reality - to the fact that I still have an exam next week. Study will have to resume soon.

To all those whose FYP is over: GREAT WORK!!! All the slogging has finally paid off and it's almost time for the handover to the company. No more chionging like mad late into the night (or into the next morning).

... Not till University at least.

Breakdown: I had a complete and total breakdown sometime during the hectic period. Complete with the screaming.

I had to juggle a test, 1 FYP project and 2 other project deadlines within a single week. For the week or two leading up to it, I tried my very best to prioritize, to put everything else aside. And yet, I couldn't. So I had to split my time up even more.

I almost couldn't make it. For FYP, for my projects, for the test.

Almost.

If it weren't for the extension of the 3 projects at the last minute.

University will be coming up soon... If such a situation arises again..... I shudder to think of the consequences. I doubt that University would be so lenient with us as the Poly as been.

If something like this comes up again... I don't think I'll be able to handle it.

But still... This hurdle's over. I should be grateful.

Laptop dead: Oh yea, this is extremely random... But my laptop's finally dead. Reformatting and everything will be oncoming soon.

Thank you: to my FYP group. For helping so so so much.. Especially during that last stretch, and even before that... Amanda: For listening, for just being there. For encouragement, for being my tranquilizer. Clar: For hearing my rants, for the laptop and for any help you gave- Especially during the last few days with the laptop when I was too sick to do anything.


Signing off... ...

Cosplay, Work and Competence

Competence: Some people judge me cause of my grades, my results... Think I'm good... Truthfully, I don't think I am. People look at my results, make assumptions, carve their own impression of me... Without knowing me. Without taking the effort to know me.

I hate that.

I hate it when people say stuff like: "Aiyah, what cannot... You JLPT 1 leh!"

To hell with JLPT 1.

I took it, what, 2 years ago? Passed it on the DOT too. I was facing the principal of the Hiroshima Institute of Technology Polytechnic the other day, and I couldn't say a word. All I could do was smile and nod. Even when I wanted to say something I found that I didn't know how to.

I have no confidence, I have no ability.

Now, please stop with all these assumptions made from looking at my grades. It isn't just for Japanese, it's for everything. IT, school, friendships, dancing... Whatever.

Don't judge me from paper, from what you don't know.

Save your judgements for after you know me.

Please.

Class Outing: We had this outing a few days back, to gather with our friends whom were all flying to China for their overseas internship. We had a load of fun at Clarke Quay, and it was really great spending time with all of them =D We even took some photos~

For quite a few of them, I know that it was a long-awaited break from all the hassle and stress that came about from our schoolwork and projects. For me, it was a break alright, and an eye-opener.

Got to walk around Clarke Quay at night (which I've not exactly done before) and I got to walk past the street where all the clubs and pubs were... Twas interesting ^^ Clarke Quay in the morning and at night are seriously 2 extremely extremely different places.. (I should know. I used to frequent Clarke Quay a LOT in the morning)

Thank you to Eunice and Michelle for accompanying me to Spotlight before meeting up with the guys(the queue in Spotlight and looking at the stalls at PS caused us to be late though... Sorry..!!). It was nice to hang out with you guys, even if it was just a while ^_^

Cosplay Performance: Ok, I just came back from a 4 hour session with the cosplayers... I'm a backup dancer for the Hare Hare Yukai dance, and I seriously just CAN'T get it right. Maybe I've taken a break from dance for too long. My memory span is like what, 10 seconds now? @_@ ARGH! I've been practicing for the past 20min or so in front of my computer and I STILL can't keep up. And the dance segment's like only 30 seconds or something..! Oh noooooo.... I'll make myself practice and listen on the way to school and back or something.

Load of things to do: I have a TRUCKLOAD of things to do at the moment... When I met up with the cosplayers, I really saw how stressed the lot of them were, rushing not only theirs, but everyone else's costume, armour, accessories and what-nots. Dusty almost broke down, Skye was majorly stressed, Cat brought the crosses she had to do and was constantly working on it everytime we took a break, Mark was skipping work, and everyone was doing something or another, or helping someone else with something. Everyone was having a lack of sleep, everyone was going to sacrifice their sleeping time to complete what they can for the team.

Me? I've got school. At that moment it seemed a very weak excuse as to why I could not settle, at the very least, my own costume. I'm going to have to do this, one way or another.

It's just a LOAD of things these few weeks... Next Saturday is the event (in which I need to collect the costume, attach my armour, get my wig done, sew my skirt and attach the lace and get the dance right), and then Clar's graduating from his BMT on Tuesday... And so I'll probably have to find some time to spend with him. Adding to that is this dance performance I REALLY want to see on Wednesday.

And that shitload of things up there probably means that I will be squeezing any possible tiny bit of time for my FYP, and seriously, even _that_ is really screwing up big time too.

I just need to survive till the middle of January. Get all this settled. Get all this done. Properly. Nicely. Well.

Wish me luck. I need to learn to cope with less sleep. I have to. I need to.

Cosplay: Seeing the team and how everyone worked together, I'm reminded of why I've been staying in Cosplay all these years... I see now, why Andrea loves the team so much. 1/2 of them probably don't even know who I am, but I really starting to feel this fondness for them...

Am I still going to retire..? I have no idea. But then again, I'd likely have no cash to support my costume for next year... Guess I'll have to take it as it comes. I'll decide again when the time comes.


Signing off... ...
Busy

Should Have

'Should Have's:

I really should be working now... Instead of blogging.

But there a lot of 'should have's.

Should have worked more instead of getting distracted millions of times just now.

Should have done my work instead of making food (that was supposed to be my dinner, but ended up only being 1/3 of it cause of a lack of ingredients).

Should have not gotten so emotionally distracted and everything and constantly looking at other pages instead of working.

Should not have slept last night.

Or the day before.

Should not be making everyone unhappy.

Should not be stressing myself out like nuts.

... Should not be here writing this.


Signing off... ...
Maybe I should listen, and get back to work.

Letter to our company

Warning: Major sarcasm up ahead.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear __________,

We forgive you for the constant changing of the project work flow, structure, as well as of the functions of the project that we are supposed to do. We forgive you for telling us one thing, and then telling us to do/not to do something totally different the next week. We forgive you for constantly expanding the size of the project that we are supposed to do; increasing the number of functions that are to be in the system by great notches every time. We forgive you for not answering the questions that we ask most of the time: at least you give us some vague idea as to which direction we should be asking more questions or assuming in.

We thank you for keeping to what you say - that you would send us the information by 'the next day', although it was only one tiny section of the system, and didn't send us the complete fields/information even 2 weeks after the promised date (which coincidentally, happens to be today).

We thank you for your great faith in our intelligence, in believing that we can understand your business jargon and therefore answering our questions to your business jargon with even more jargon.

We thank you for your immense faith in our competence, in believing that we can churn our report out overnight (which will be over 100 pages, from what I see) and submit it in time, although even if we could, we wouldn't be able to, cause the deadline was supposed to be tomorrow.

You have our greatest appreciation and gratitude for everything you have done for us.

For all the inconvenience that you might have caused, you have our forgiveness.

...

...

...

... Okay, so I lie.


Signing off... ...