Of Surprises and Madness

Horoscope:

"You don't 'do' surprises. You plan surprises -- for other people -- but in your own life, everything's planned and accounted for. Aw, come on! What fun is that? Let yourself be surprised and you'll like what you see."

Plan surprises? Yep, I love doing that... But letting myself be surprised..? The surprise will have to come first >_<>_<

I would ramble a lot more about this area... but hmm. Nah...

Okay, this is weird. I've had a friend prompt me to update... And the first thing I talk about is my horoscope of the day. ^^;;

Hot: Okay, this is one thing I've been complaining a lot about... The weather is just ghastly recently... I leave the house feeling ultra warm in the morning... and by the time I finish strolling to the MRT station I'm perspiring like a mad pig. (Do pigs sweat a lot?) Of course, I suspect it's something to do with my semi-crazy sweat glands of late... but I shall blame part of it on the weather anyway >_<

Unfit: Alright, alright, so that's the other reason to my overactive sweat glands.. Hm, so what else is new? The whole world knows I'm unfit, but I shall say it anyway.

I'm unfit.

Like, majorly. I've had the urge to work out like quite a bit recently but never got the chance to... And today, I finally managed to go DDR a wee little itsy bit with Clar. By the end of the first song, I was tired. And guess what? I failed the second song -_-" Like... @.@ My legs were actually DYING by the third song. Argh! Like how unfit can I get, seriously?

You know what? Don't answer that.

ITP: Hmm... I guess that takes up quite a bit of my life now... I'm OT-ing quite a bit recently cause of the pressing deadlines and all... I've had terrible days (thinks pointedly about yesterday) where I spend half the day trying to solve a problem that wasn't even programming-related. -_-" Like the application I was using for programming just went berserk on me. So I had to delete my project and re-import the entire thing... Stupid. Utterly stupid.

Madness at the workplace: Heh, so I realise many of us aren't really sane... *coughs* Me included, but that's not the point. It can be really fun, and I guess the insane-ness is what keeps me sane at work ^^;

Of course, there _are_ times where some people drive me mad, but I haven't gotten the urge to throw them out the window yet, so I suppose that's good ^^;

Lyrics: I swear I had some song to blog about to cause of the lyrics... (don't ask me why I keep doing that recently... I have absolutely no idea) But I just can't recall the song right now... So that'll have to wait till it comes back to me ^^;;

'Ignited' (Cosplay group): YEAH going with Ignited to watch Pirates of the Carribean tomorrow~ Supposed to be a chance to 'get to know the existence of several members that some of us don't know about' >_< I'm one of those invisible members I guess ^^;;

At the last end-of-year event, Skye was calling "Ignited!! Come here!" and I had absolutely no idea whether I was actually part of the group... so I hesitated a bit, then turned and walked off to change out... Partly cause I didn't want my counterpart to be bored any longer and wait, and partly cause I really didn't know whethter I was considered part of them...

My heart was really screaming and asking me to linger a bit longer to hear what she wanted to tell the group, but I turned and walked off with this coldness spreading through my insides.

Ever since I joined the livejournal community though, I've started to feel as though there's some confirmation of my part in the group... One, cause I'm actually _in_ the community, and secondly, cause Skye actually messaged me about certain events too- =) And another from the group actually called me up one day to tell me about a particular new anime/manga/cosplay magazine that just came out (*cough* the main reason was cause the team was in it *cough*)-

Considering I've never really had anyone else from the circle apart from Skye calling me up about stuff, I was really happy =D

Of course, to those who have no interest about this part of my life, I think I probably just bored you guys to death, or amused you. Anywayz, I'm just looking forward to tomorrow, and the chalet that's coming up =D


The end: Alright, that's just about enough of rambling... I should really get ready for bed, or I may just very well fall asleep in the cinema tomorrow... And that is not good. I'll update again when the inspiration comes~ ^^


Signing off... ...

Open Up Your Mind

Couple of days back I was listening to my MP3 player in the bus on the way to work... And it felt as if I was actually listening to the words for thea first time... Every word just went through to my heart and well... ya. >_< It was rather comforting- ^_^

Anywayz, thought I'd blog the lyrics and dedicate the song to whoever's having a rough patch right now- I'd put the song up but the mp3 size was too large for the current place I'm putting my files -_-" So... Err... Maybe soon..? ^^;; (So much for dedicating... >_<)

Argh... But the english translation sounds weird... =S =( I swear, it sounds so much nicer in actuality..! >_<

Kkz, I'll update again soon-


Signing off... ...

---

Open Up Your Mind

moshimo ima subete ga umaku nante ikanai
makesou ni naru toki datte
hitomi wo tojireba   kokoro kara
sekai ga   miete kuru
In this world when life can be so tough
You must be strong
Just believe in yourself and don't you fear
So open up your mind and close your eyes
Take another look from the other side
kodoku na yoru demo   mayoi osoreru toki mo
ima wa hitori demo   kono ashi de doko made mo
aruite ikeru hazu dakara
Just hold on tight   hitomi tojita nara
Look inside yourself   kagayaki ga aru kara
Yes, subete   shinjite hoshii
You can take another look from the other side
Just hold on tight   kokoro kujikete mo
Reach into your soul   ashita ga mienakute mo
Yes, ikiru   tsuyosa ga areba
You can take another look from the other side
ai no subete ni deau made...
kono sekai de ikinuite-iku tame no tsuyosa wo
anata ni negatte-iru kara
kokoro no tobira wo   hiraitara 
nanika ga   miete kuru
Just remember you are not alone
So don't you fear
Even though you're miles away
I'm by your side
So open up your mind and close your eyes
I'll be there for you no matter where you are
hoshi no inochi nara nagai kedo   itsu made mo
onaji kono hibi ga kurikaesu wake ja nai
ashita wa dare ni mo mienai
Just hold on tight   hitomi tojita nara
Look inside yourself   kodou kanjiru kara
Yes, "MIRAI"   shinjite hoshii
You can take another look from the other side
Just hold on tight   kokoro kujikete mo
Reach into your soul   ashita ga mienakute mo
Yes, chigau   sekai ga atte
You can take another look from the other side
ai no subete ni   deaeru yo...
Just hold on tight   hitomi tojita nara
Look inside yourself   kodou kanjiru kara
Yes, "MIRAI"   shinjite hoshii
You can take another look from the other side
Just hold on tight   kokoro kujikete mo
Reach into your soul   ashita ga mienakute mo
Yes, chigau   sekai ga atte
You can take another look from the other side
ai no subete ni   deau made...

English Translation

Even when it seems that nothing can go right
and you want to just give up,
if you close your eyes,
you can see the world from your heart.
In this world when life can be so tough
You must be strong
Just believe in yourself and don't you fear
So open up your mind and close your eyes
Take another look from the other side
Even on a lonely night, when you wander afraid,
you may be alone now, but
your feet can take you however far you want to go, so
Just hold on tight, because if you close your eyes,
look inside yourself, there's a shining light there.
Yes, I want you to believe in everything.
You can take another look from the other side
Just hold on tight, even if your heart is breaking.
Reach into your soul, even if you can't see tomorrow.
Yes, if you have the strength to live,
You can take another look from the other side,
until you find all that is love...
I wish for you to have the strength
to make it through this world,
so open up your mind,
and you'll be able to see...
Just remember you are not alone
So don't you fear
Even though you're miles away
I'm by your side
So open up your mind and close your eyes
I'll be there for you no matter where you are
The stars may live for a long time, but that doesn't mean
that the same days will repeat over and over forever.
Noone can see into tomorrow.
Just hold on tight, because if you close your eyes,
look inside yourself, you'll feel a heartbeat.
Yes, I want you to believe in the future.
You can take another look from the other side.
Just hold on tight, even if your heart is breaking.
Reach into your soul, even if you can't see tomorrow.
Yes, there's another world out there.
You can take another look from the other side,
and you'll be able to find all that is love...
Just hold on tight, because if you close your eyes,
look inside yourself, you'll feel a heartbeat.
Yes, I want you to believe in the "future."
You can take another look from the other side
Just hold on tight, even if your heart is breaking.
Reach into your soul, even if you can't see tomorrow.
Yes, there's another world out there.
You can take another look from the other side,
until you find all that is love...

Would wine suffice, I wonder. Perhaps shocchuu would do the trick.

Wonderful. I just pissed someone off without stepping back. And for the first time, I didn't want to.

Someone get me a bottle of wine.



Signing off... ...

Of Mundane Updates and Studying Abroad

Heyoz, someone told me my blog was collecting cobwebs so I decided to rant a bit ^^;;

Catching up with old times: Or well, movies, actually, to be exact. I've been watching LotR and Star Wars (like all the good stuff I've missed or watched incomplete in the past) and stuff and gushing over like well... quite a few characters- Cause some are just so cute- ^^;; [no, I do not mean cute in the outlook sense... Just so you know] Like the 2 robots from Star Wars and Legolas and Gimli from LotR~ They are really just SO cute and hilarious when they come together and start bantering with the other. ;)


Movies: Hmm... Seemed like I watched quite a couple of movies too... And much more to come soon, I expect. Watched Sunshine (which as manda said 'wasn't [my] type of movie' but was rather interesting nonetheless- My heart just couldn't take it ^^;;) and 'The Last Mimzy'. The last one was my idea =P And yeah... Shrek 3 looked interesting... Spiderman 3 is coming up next week... And another one which I rather liked when I watched the trailer... but forgot the title of it ^^;

See? I must be going crazy. I think I'm watching as many movies within these 2 months or so as I usually do in like a year or a few years in the past >_< style="font-weight: bold;">

Sick: K... I got sick a couple of days back... High fever and all... Got worse yesterday with an extremely swollen throat in the morning and an inability to stay upright for long and a rather drastic loss of appetite (3 spoonfuls or so of a proper meal was enough to fill me).. Worked hard to bring the fever down the best I could cause I was supposed to be going out that day, and well- I succeeded up to a point where I could stay upright for a relatively decent amount of time- ^^;

Thanks to all those who were concerned about me, scolded me and yea.. Well. Was really grateful for my parents that day too- For respecting my decision and like for sending me there with only a 'you brought your panadol right?' in the car- ^_^ Heh.

Momo: Momo went to Waseda Uni already- And yea- It was rather sad- The funny thing was when she told us about a conversation with her friend that went something like that (cut off, of course):

"I'll miss you... When will you be back?"
"Around August or September-"
"So fast?"
*raises eyebrows* "I can always not come back."

Heheh. I guess it was easy to forget there were still rather long holidays where they could come back and visit us- ^^;; Heh... Will miss her loads though >_< Got a letter from her yesterday... and yea... If you see this..? Thanks for the concern, and the letter!! =D Heehee... Lucky me ^_^

[Btw, I wanted to blog more about this in the last post... but it couldn't be published for some reason... think it was my >_< emoticon -_-" Ah well... And since I forgot what I typed then... It will have to be left as such.]

Fic idea: And yea... I hate my head right now... I was taking an extremely serene walk back home just now (gosh I love the park loads... It's so nice =D) and as such walks always do, gave me fic/plot/scenario ideas and whatever-nots... As soon as I got home though... I forgot everything -_-" Argh. No wonder I haven't been able to write recently. And to think the idea seemed really good at the time! =( Ah well.

Complains: Alright, I do actually have quite a few things I want to rant and complain about... But they'll soon pass so I shan't bother with em... Besides... Head's not working anymore- >_< Pardon any randomness that may occur in this post. I blame it on the head. Or the lack of the working part of my brain that resides in my head.

Signing off... ...
Excessive hurt leads to indifference, more hurt leads to anger, and even more, leads to hate.

Surprise farewell party

Just a quick update about today...

Farewell party: We had a 'surprise' farewell party for Momo today... And well. Andrea, as usual, kinda got Momo suspicious (so I guess). The first thing she said was "I think forget about the barbeque la, let's just take something away instead." I promptly walked over and pinched her subtly. Then... "Is Peiyi (someone whom was supposedly not in the gang that we were supposed to be hanging out with) coming today?" I pinched her again. -_-" Oh gosh! So typical!! I ended up having to pull her aside and telling her not to breathe a peep about it anymore >_< But well... It went okay after that =D It was really really fun hanging around everyone and catching up. Ended up reaching home at 12+. Like =O

Momo leaving: Momo'll be leaving Friday morning (none of us realised it was so fast!!) and most of us are planning to send her off >_<>_<>_<

My EOY cosplay: Heh, we were kinda talking about cosplay at the gathering... Just 3 of us... This is how our conversation went:

Girl 2: *ramble about our end of year cosplay plans*
Girl 1: "Trinity Blood?"
Girl 2: "Yeah. She's (me) our kate scott!"
Girl 1: "Wha? You're who?"
Me: "The hologram."
Girl 1: "Ohh!! That!"

^^;;; Hmm... I guess my character's known all round as 'the hologram' >_< Quite funny, actually, though quite sad- ^^;;


Signing off... ...

Yr 2 Sem 2 Results

Well, a LOAD of things have happened over the past 1 month and 1 day that I've been too lazy to blog for...

Results: Okay... well. Got my results. Err.. Both my GEMs got B+ and well. So did another subject. My grades look kinda weird... but at least I'm not crying over them, and that's good. Guess I was kinda prepared to look at rock-bottom grades after screwing up almost every subject this semester. Grades semester after semester are following the downhill pattern, and hm. I'm just SO hoping it changes the next 2 semesters. I'm hoping my grade chart looks like a valley and not the side of a mountain.

Fat lot of good it'll do hoping. I guess I'll have to work for it. Time for someone to slap me in the face.

Formal/Polite convs: Crap. I'm starting to forget how to speak politely. =S Used to be second nature... Now... Now... ='( *cries* I had to stare at a blank screen for like a couple of hours before I wrote a couple of lines that didnt' sound that polite at all -_-" To my lecturer. Whee. Wonderful. At least that lecturer's nice so I guess it's alright if it's well. Informal? And well. Filled with smiley faces -_-" Bad. Bad.

The most polite email I sent was:

Hello Mr. ____,

{___day} would be good. =)

Thank you.

{___day} being a day of the week. Argh. Was that even considered polite or formal? Or even a proper email..? o.O;; Hm. With the smiley face, perhaps not.

Shifting: WHEE GOING TO SHIFT SOON!! Well, other than the fact that I've still got a load of stuff to pack since I've been wholely and utterly slacking the past couple of weeks I am WHOO-HOO excited about the shifting. =D I am utterly IN LOVE with the new place >_< Am having a bit of trouble with the new sofa set... but I digress.

There's a bit more walking to do around my new place to get anywhere, but I'm seeing that as a good thing ^_^ Thing is... I still don't know my way to the MRT -_-" Or the bus stop. Grr. I just hope I don't get lost like the first day I shift over or something.


Signing off... ...

Beautiful Things

Lyrics of Beautiful Things, by Bobby Darin

The world is full of beautiful things
Butterfly wings, fairy tale kings
And each new day undoubtedly brings
Still more beautiful things.

The world abounds with many delights
Magical sights, fanciful flights
And those who dream on beautiful nights
Dream of beautiful things.

Beautiful days for sunshine lazin'
Beautiful skies and shores
Beautiful days when I can gaze in beautiful eyes
Like yours.

You wonder why the nightingale sings
Lovers have wings
People wear rings
The world is full of beautiful things
Beautiful people, too …
Beautiful people like you.

Beautiful days of sun-kissed showers
Beautiful sea-kissed breeze
Beautiful nights of moon-kissed hours
Beautiful dreams like these.

Our lives tick by like pendulum swings
Delicate things, butterfly wings
Life is full of beautiful things
Beautiful people, too …
Beautiful people like you.

----------------------------------------------------

Yepz! Just as it says ;) Another beautiful day coming up too mithinks- End of exams tomorrow ^_^ For those who are taking their exams too GOOD LUCK!!! For those who aren't... Well, good for you- Don't have to study >_< Heh.

Dance ramble: Okay, I went to download some dance podcasts (Dance sport too) and WAH fell in love all over again- ^^ Especially with the Standard dances (meaning dances like the waltz, quickstep, foxtrot etc...) BEAUTIFUL!!! Of course, err, it's beautiful when it's danced amazingly- Some got me yawning after a bit @.@ Erm... *coughs* ^^;; Of course I still like latin dance too (like the cha cha, rumba)

I knew about the song up there through dance too- It's a foxtrot song- Heard it at the JB competition and fell in love- *sighs dreamily* Updated the song on the media player on the left to play this song instead now ^^


Signing off... ...

Sighs and Re-contacting

Scary: This is terrible. The retorts and bursts that erupt in my head recently have been getting worse. It's just extremely scary to hear the kind of things I'm capable of saying when I'm scolding someone... In my head, at least... Hopefully my control is good enough to prevent it from coming out.

It's always just been emotions that indicate how I feel... and now words are starting to form... And I found that I _am_ capable of taking something from the past that was done to me and throwing it back at the person should there ever be a need to.

Sigh.

Scary.


Caged: Been feeling like that for some time now... -_-" Absolutely terrible. I found that everytime I want to say something, it'll go through my mind, and then I won't say it anymore even though it is what I feel. Even here, when it's my blog. My blog. -_-" Ah well. There are good things to it beside the bad ones that come with that, so... *shrugs*

Getting back in touch: This is absolutely amazing... I started sending forwarded messages to all sorts of friends recently when I found some in my phone when clearing my inbox... And the best thing is... Everyone got back to me in some way or another..! =D Even if it's not through sms, it may be through email, or tags or a call or something.

Love all of you guys. ^^ Helped me LOADS in lifting my spirits up when I needed it most. I am so glad I have you guys as friends ;)

Thanks a million..!



Signing off... ...

Anger and Stress stuff

Hmm... Came across this... ^^; Live happy and healthy~ >_< K, I know this is utter randomness but... *shrugs* And the first one doesn't say much... but ah well.

Funny thing I've noticed is that many say "avoid difficult people" in order to stay happy ^^; I guess that's quite true.. It does make your life much brighter... Thing is, these 'difficult people' end up being slightly alienated, don't they..? Hmm... But then again, it's through this alienation too that they (usually) find out that there's something they can improve on...

I found the pink clouds part funny ^^;; It's like *angry* *think pink clouds* Urgh. >_< I'd rather have nice white clouds to float on. ^^;;

Okay, darn. Enough nonsense. I should get back to studying.


Signing off... ...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anger

One of the most important areas in which a teenager needs training is in how to handle anger. Anger is normal and occurs in every human being. The problem is not the anger itself, but managing it. Recognize anger when it comes, understand the cause, express it appropriately, and resolve it properly. Inappropriate expressions of anger include physically harming another, using words that threaten to bring emotional damage to another, or showing disrespect.


Reduce Stress

Easier said than done, stress busters come in many forms. Some techniques recommended by experts are to think positive thoughts. Spend 30 minutes a day doing something you like. (i.e.,Soak in a hot tub; walk on the beach or in a park; read a good book; visit a friend; play with your dog; listen to soothing music; watch a funny movie. Get a massage, a facial or a haircut. Meditate. Count to ten before losing your temper or getting aggravated. Avoid difficult people when possible. Thought for the day: When seeing red, think pink clouds….then float on them.

Climate changes

Quick entry.

Cimate Change: Glaciers have shrunk and melted over the last who-knows-how many years... but it's getting worse now...

Three photographs, taken in 1912, 1968 and 2003, show how a glacier at Vernagtferner in Austria has shrunk. It lost over half a metre in thickness during 2005.

"But it is not the past that worries us, tremendously is the future. With the scenarios predicted, we will enter conditions which we have not seen in the past 10,000 years, and perhaps conditions which mankind has never experienced."

Which makes me wonder, it's no longer 'none of our business', as thought by most people, isn't it..? Shouldn't we be doing _something_ to help our Earth? The efforts of those who care at the moment will never be enough to stop whatever is happening.

Makes me feel really really sad though... That half the world doesn't care what the Earth becomes. Really do want to do something about this...

Climate change simulation thingy: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/shared/spl/hi/sci_nat/04/climate_change/html/climate.stm

Signing off... ...
Back to work

The Rainbow

The Rainbow

The still night air
Cools
Beyond normal temperatures,
Causing hair to stand,
Causing bodies to shiver.

From blue,
To indigo,
To violet,
To black
With a light sheen of white.

Stars that once shone,
The moon that had brightened the
Night sky, now
Hide
Behind sheets of thick, dark, wool

Without the knowledge
Of the people,
Darkening the calm dark, and
Chilling
The cool air.

The night deepens,
And the air
Chill, ever the more,
Ever the more
Fiercely.

The drums beat,
Silently, then
Louder,
Disturbing but only
Few occupants.

Droplets of tears,
Of blood,
Of sweat,
Fall, and
Beat, against the ground

To be absorbed
Wholly,
Silently,
Consistently,
By the earth.

Hours pass
Stealthily,
Consistently,
The beating of drums
Ever louder than before

Along with the
Consistent
Pitter-patter of droplets
Against grass,
Against soil

Drowning
The earth,
The grass,
Transforming
Green to Brown.

The darkness part, after hours,
With no moon,
With no stars, leaving
Nothing,
But the cool, still air.

Of red,
Of orange,
Of yellow,
As rays penetrate, through the
Thickness of the night before.

Dissipating,
Separating, the pure
White of the morning,
Against the
Green of the earth.

Leaving,
But the crystal
Result
Of the rumbles
Of the night.

-------------------------------------------

A/N: =) Another rather uplifting poem, I guess..? Waddya think..? Title gives everything away... but ah well.


Signing off... ...

Untitled Poem, sudden inspiration of desperation

A light shines bright, in a distance, and
Feet start to move, aimlessly towards it
Maneuvering
Out of the endless dark.

Footsteps heavy,
The sound of dragging feet,
Resound through the silence,
Breaking
the otherwise noiseless vacuum.

The light nears, and
Footsteps quicken,
Desperate, and
Unaware.

Eager body
Hit against seemingly non-existent wall,
of the Strong tornado
Standing guard.

Some energy drains, and
A piece of soul
Rips from the body, that now lay
A metre away.

Feet regain their balance,
And continue
Their shaky steps
Towards hope.

Body and resistance
Clash once more,
Familiar pain, mixed with
Unfamiliarity.

Drops of liquid
Fall,
Marring the perfect marble landing, and
Leaving its irrevocable stains.

Piece by piece of soul,
Tear from the lifeless body,
Leaving, after futile efforts,
a souless, lifeless doll.

------------------------------------------------------
A/N: Okay, don't ask me what I'm writing. I don't know. The words came after all, it seems. ^^; Ah well. Okay, I ain't kidding myself and saying this is a poem. My poems have been nothing much but story telling. Got lots to learn.

Okay... MUST STUDY!!!! ARGH!!! @#%@#$%#^


Signing off... ...
Desperate for focus.

Next obstacle ahead... [Updates] and thank-yous

Assignments: Okay... Assignments are over... Screwed up a load of them... But well. The good thing is that it's over. And none of them scream "I've got a bug!" so I guess that's good. ^^; Thanks a mil to Chris who put up with all my hot-headedness and stuff... And yeah... Well. IT'S OVER =D

Exams: Okay, well. One obstacle over, another nears... My end-of-module exams... Really, judging from how I've been screwing everything else up I really should start studying... Especially since I've not been listening to SOO many lectures and how I've screwed up some projects... It's my only way out... But... *sigh* I JUST CAN'T START *pulls hair out* I've GOT to snap out of this sometime soon.

Someone slap me.

After-exam plans: Okay, well. I'm finally going for one of those personal development programmes this year... Not with friends... but ah well.. Perhaps another time.. Anywayz, am going for SALSA! YESH! OMG I'LL GET TO LEARN DANCE AGAIN!! =D=D Okay, so I heard it's extremely basic and simple and stuff... But WHO CARES! Yay. =D

Guitar Ensemble: Heheh, went to watch my brother perform at the LT at NUS- =) Heheh, was SUPER DUPER NICE! =D =D >_< It's really different hearing the entire ensemble play... (Although I have been to 2 or 3 of those before) Loved a LOAD of pieces =D Hope I can catch another one of those next time... =^^= Really liked a load of things there... The next time I catch my brother practicing I'm gonna request a song... ;)

Problems: Ah well. As usual. Shan't blog about them, though. Had just about enough of it.

Dance poetry: THANKS to all those who commented about my dance poem thing... ^_^ Never ever received so many comments about any of my poems before- ^^; And compliments. Hmmz. ^_^ Heh I like it too =D *coughs* whoops. ^^; Hey I'm not being egoistic- But I really do like it... Though it's not perfect- >_<

Temporarily lost my ability to churn poems out though... The idea's there, but the words won't come -__-" Sigh.


Signing off... ...

Generally pissed, and the Beauty of Poetry

Okay, full blown bashing ranting post up again, so BEWARE. I'm not in a good mood. No offence intended.

If you have no wish to see bashing posts, please do skip this entry. Thank you. Much appreciated.

Stupid people: Okay, my classmates and I just can't STAND that stupid irritating class that comes in after one of our lab lessons. They flood in as soon as our teacher steps out and stand right next to our seats and giving us pressure. Today I wanted to walk out from the right, behind Michelle, as we were leaving our seats but the STUPID darn guy waiting for her seat just pulled open the chair and sat there straight after she walked past him without giving me any space to walk past, when I was BLOODY WAITING THERE FOR HIM TO MOVE! After staring at him for like a couple of seconds, I figured that he hadn't much of a brain, backtracked, and walked the other way out.

Thank goodness the guy waiting for my seat had the common sense to get out of the way.

To Kill A Mockingbird: Saw this movie a couple 'weeks back... Don't know if I mentioned it... There's this guy (called Edison I think?) who's this upright lawyer... who tries to defend a black man, called Tom Robinson (Was it?) who was accused of a crime he did not commit... Twas about discrimination and stuff... The man died anyway. Got me crying at the bloody immaturity and unfairness of it all.

But that wasn't the point. Let's take a look at Edison. He remained true to his principles and values, unlike those other cowardly idiots, and took on the case in the name of justice. Despite the talk from the others around town. Now _that_ is called strong character.

Find the rest of them just irritating... Not doing things because of a load of reasons (most of which are just bull) and for convenience's sake. What of all those people who suffer as a result? No, of course they don't care. As long as they don't have to lift their arse to do anything else that requires more work. Just because it's what the rest do. What about your own trend of thought?? What about your principles?? What about using that BRAIN that resides in that skull of yours?! What of that heart that is supposed to feel?? Cut it up and ate it for lunch cause you were too lazy to grow your own food or to go down to the supermarket to get some, I suppose. Bloody selfish good-for-nothings.

But the movie was good.

Work: Okay. I've wanted to kill distractions so that I could do my work, but it's proving to be much harder than it used to be. Used to just 'appear offline' so tht I could take note of any incoming mail that may be important, while at the same time NOT chatting and getting distracted. Bloody irritating myself out. Seems like the only time I can work now is in the middle of the night. Perhaps I should just change my body clock. It may prove to be much more efficient and effective, especially during assignment chionging period and through studying. Can't help getting pissed off. So much for getting let off at 2 today. It's past 12.30am and I haven't touched a single bloody thing.

Pissed: This is absolutely terrible. Had no idea how many times I had to tell myself 'calm down' or had to re-type my sentences, mainly those with 'bloody' or 'i wouldnt have given a damn' in it. Had to bite my tongue from retorting several times too.

-------- End of bashing rant --------

Poetry: Everyone has their own style. Writing a poem is the same as that of writing your own story. There are no set ground rules for you to follow, but for your flow of thoughts. The depth of the words, choice of words, length of the poems, are solely up to you.

The flow of words, the deliberate breaks or lack thereof, the slight choppiness, the consistency and lack thereof... Every single little exquisite detail tells you something. Reveals, emphasises or backs something up. Reveals part and parcel of the whole story or message the poet wants to tell.

If a poet chooses to write something in some way, there may be a special reason to it. It is up to you to figure it out, should you wish to.

The beauty of poetry.

Of course, mine is still a far cry from that. But I'm working on it.


Signing off... ...
Hate being defined by the actions of others.

Listening creates brain power

One step to the left,
One step to the right,
Tip-a-tapping,
Tip-a-tapping.

A lift of the chin,
A lift at the lips,
A spin to the left,
A spin to the right.

A look in the mirror,
A single figure,
With graceful leaping,
With perfect turnings.

Another figure,
With powerful actions,
Take heavy quicksteps,
Turn precise turnings.

Slow start and hold,
And then a quick push,
To facilitate sharp turns
To convey strong feelings.

Varying styles,
And personalities,
Fuse together,
And explode on contact.

But a sudden
trip,
Hard contact on floor,
Stop the turns,
Stop the leaps.

Hands assist,
And pain forgot,
Two figures again,
Stand up tall.

Frequent crashes,
Frequent pushes,
Interrupt rhythm,
Interrupt song.

But steps to the left,
Steps to the right,
A look to the right,
A look to the left,

Give the same
Lift of the chin,
Give the same
Lift at the lips.

As time pass by,
And patterns are noted,
As habits are learnt
And understanding taught,

The figures learn
A new complement, of
Tip-a-tapping,
Turn-a-turning.

------------------------------------------------

What?: Omg. Is that even my style of writing? I did try to write something slightly different to emphasise something... but some parts seem somewhat like someone else's style. I hope not, though...... Some parts just sounded extremely strange and 'urgh' to me. But ah well. Never mind. I'm rather satisfied with it =^^= There. My first poem that's not exactly sad and stressful. =) [Of all the times I have words that flow... It _always_ comes when I'm stressed or when I'm hard-pressed for time -___-"]

Listening, and arguing: Taken from an article:

To break the bad habit of arguing, ask for peoples opinions, and listen without
saying anything. Ask them to clarify, but don't offer even one contrary idea. If
you do this enough, you'll be surprised by how much you learn. Some of us
habitual debaters are also surprised by how difficult this simple technique can
be, but it works.

Hmm... Not that difficult for me, I think- =) Unless I'm being insulted in the process... And yea, I guess I do learn a lot. ^^ But hmm... This does sound rather familiar... Have I blogged about something similar before..? Can't remember.


Signing off... ...
Surprisingly cheerful, back to work.

High-tide, from 27/11/05

She lies
tied up and bound,
Open, Vulnerable,
against the sand.

The tide comes in,
the sound of water crashing against the shore,
ringing in her ears,
Each much louder than the one before.

The water level steadily rises,
crashing against her body relentlessly.
She panics.

She struggles against her bonds,
futile,
as the tide comes in still faster,
covering her legs.

Higher,
and higher.

It reaches for her face,
it's waves beating against her,
leaving her spluttering,
and helpless.

The water level continues to rise,
ignoring her cries of protest,
suffocating her.

Drowning her.


Signing off......
Come what may, I am here for you to deal as you wish

Test: You are the Loyalist

You Are the Loyalist

6 You have strong relationships and are intensely loyal. People find you easy to love and care for. You like your world to be stable and secure, no surprises. You're cautious. You prefer your inner circle to the outside world.

What number are you?

Whee-- Just some test thingy i took~ ^^ Like... in Nov 05 ^^;; Saw it as a draft in my list of posts and decided to post it anyway ^_^

Signing off... ...

December Updates

Okay... lots of things to update on... so this is gonna be an extremely boring, long, long-winded post. BEWARE.

EOY: Well, EOY. Let's see... It was pretty good on the whole =) Mood was slightly off, but otherwise alright~ Made up for the fangirling after I came back and saw the photos ^^;; Heheh... Fangirled once for a little less than a minute while our group was taking group shots though... For a short while- Twas a nice feeling- =D

On to my (ultra) belated fangirling... THERE WAS A KADAJ THIS YEAR TOO!! Pretty Kadaj, though not as bishie *sighs dreamily* as the one last year, but still a pretty Kadaj. I _think_ 'he' won something in the individual competition if I'm not wrong... like 1st or 2nd... but I didn't exactly keep track, so... >_<

And well... I realised something after I came back... I DIDN'T LOOK FOR MARIA-SAMA!!! =S Wahh... So I didn't see her this year... =( =( Suddenly miss her as Maria, and her _singing_ as Maria... But ah well. >_<

AND SKYE SANG REALLY WELL!!! If she was nervous, she didn't show it this time!! SHO PROUD OF HER!!! =D Yeah.

Sentosa: Went to Sentosa with Clar... but twas raining so... ah well. Played this thing called the Luge ride... and twas darn fun~ =D Ohoh and we sat the glass cable car thingy there and back... twas really nice =) We had a hard time finding the entrance to the cable car place though ^^;;

P5/6 Gathering: WHEE met up with Grace, Jel, Pearl, Momo and Andrea (basically the old anime gang) for a gathering~ =D=D We were at Vivocity and camped at Food Republic and Carl's Jr for most of the day just chatting, eating, writing/drawing and well, chatting, then Andrea insisted on having her IKEA meatballs so we decided to head over to Momo's place-

Momo's mum was really really nice to agree to cook for us and stuff. Then we ate... and ate... and ate. So did everyone else ^^;; So much for watching our diet. All of us ended up super stuffed by the end of the day.

Twas really really fun and everything~ And seeing everybody... twas a good feeling =)

OG26 Gathering: Another group I hadn't seen in ages... Well, granted, not everyone went, but it was alright I guess... The person who asked for the outing couldn't make it though... >_< Cause he suddenly had duty or something like that... ^^;; Ah well.

Forgot how it was to laugh extremely hard... but was reminded that day- ^_^ When Sam was telling us about stuff and the guys were being their usual lame selves. Rachel and I did a bit of catching up too~

Ate at Jack's Place... and well. I had no cash... =S And Rachel ended up paying for me... Gosh I felt so bad!! I _have_ to pay her back >_< When we meet up again next time I suppose- ^^ I hope we manage to find a time to meet up- =)

Escape: WHEE Went to Escape with Clar- Went through this haunted house thing... (I suspect it's new cause I never knew of its existence before) where the scariest part was before we went in, when half of this group of people were trying to scare the other half about the ride being really scary, and when we entered this pitch black area cause I couldn't see anything and was not sure where to turn and could not put my hands out in front of me cause a hand was kind of occupied behind me- If you didn't catch that, nope it wasn't scary ^^;; And I guess that kind of says a bit coming from me ^^;;

OH Then we played the Go-Karts~~ NICE!!! [warning lots of gibberish up ahead] I was like *step* *vroom* *whoa* *whee* *vroom* *yay* ^^; twas LOADS of fun~~~ =D=D

Then of course there was the log ride... where we got all WET =D Niccceee~ Of course it wasn't exactly the fact that we got wet... it was more of the fact that we slid down a really high thingy and _then_ got all wet as we hit the bottom. =D Talk about fun.

We tried the games out too- just as the clouds started to come in and shower on us- (so we were safe) We won a Nemo- or rather, a clownfish, but well. *shrugs* It's currently holding residence in my room. =)

Stuff happened before and after that, I guess, but I don't remember them anymore... so =)=) It was a pretty fun day as far as I'm concerned.

Christmas Countdown: Went for my first Christmas countdown at Orchard... and well. Twas alright I guess ^^;; up till the actual countdown... when things got a little... well. Messed up.

Things got really squeezy and rather bad when some extremely rowdy and inconsiderate people made themselves known at the scene. We were squashed in the middle of the crowd, and could do nothing as waves of extreme pushing came... Halfway through it I focused on maintaining my balance and blocked most of everything else out.

All I could remember was the actual countdown, when we were still getting pushed around, Clar screaming for them to stop seconds after the stroke of midnight, and well. Water getting poured on us... And the extremely ironic situation when the emcee for the event in front of us said "admist all the hustling and bustling, we should slow down and close our eyes to..." erm, well, I think I forgot what she said after that... but it was something about thinking about others and Christmas and what's given to us or something like that...

But the ironic thing was that she was telling us this when there was a whole crowd of people in front of her getting squashed and pushed around.

But I was glad that Clar was there. When he pulled me to the side to wait for the crowd to dissipate before letting us leave... For like getting worried after the entire pushing episode, and when he found out that my feet had been somewhat trampled upon, and well. Stuff. And for buying us the spray thing to play with (although I only used my can on his arm once after his spray caught me twice) All in all, thanks- =)

Christmas: Twas one of the better Christmas days I had... Had already fallen sick, but well, despite that I had a great time. Learnt part of a song on the piano (although it's only the intro) and watched Dead Poet's Society, and made konyaku jelly and stuff- =) Twas nice.

And the prezzies I got~ Twas nice- =) I've got 2 additions to the family - A small round blue penguin, and a Schnauzer. ^^; And TAROT CARDS! PROPER TAROT CARDS! Like yay~ =D Heehee...

And of course, thank you to MANDA, GRACE and MOMO for the Christmas cards that you guys sent me... And for the letters and notes that came with it- It's late, but rest assured that a reply will come your way >_<

Sick: Yes, well, I fell sick. And as usual, at the most inappropriate of times >_< Had this terrible smell coming from me that I couldn't get rid of... And I felt like something (my throat) was rotting inside of me... Affected my nose, ears and head. The smell apparently came from my semi-rotting tonsils. Gross.

I guess I'm lucky that this period is when I have nothing on >_< Though it was supposed to be meant for working.

Schoolwork: Yes, gah. I'm gonna die any moment... All, and might I stress, ALL of my assignments are still untouched. UNTOUCHED!! *dies* Individual and groupwork alike.

Wish me luck. I'll need it.


Signing off... ...
Sleep

Torrental Rains

the Rains pour,
Day after
Day after
Day.

seemingly harmless Rains,
drizzle, and
Pour, with
occasional winds,
aggravating conditions.

seemingly harmless Rains
cause damage
Day after
Day after
Day,
catching people unawares.

It pours while at home,
drizzles while at the arcade,
pours while at Sentosa,
pours at the beach.

Floods start coming in,
the seemingly harmless Rains,
causing more damage
than expected.

Rescue missions ensue
precautions taken
good wishes exchanged

All to no avail.

Finally,
the Rains lighten.
Some things lost,
some things gained.

-------------------------------------
Argh, semi messed up post, but ah well. Lots to talk about actually... Google Blogger deleted another post of mine and now I'm just super scared of typing long entries... -_____-" Anywayz, till I find the time to rant again...


Signing off... ...
Rush

Tact and thought. And utter stupidity.

Warning: This is going to a complaining, bashing entry. KEEP OUT if you're allergic to that- Thank you.

Terrible person: That's what I've been for a very long time... going in and out of 'scum' status for my entire life. There are days I wish that I would just stop being such a blasted idiot... To _THINK_ before I do anything. To stop taking things the easy way out and letting the rest of my body do things before going through my brain.

There are times when the heart should be at work, there are other times when the head should take over. Currently, that balance of mine has been lost.

I'm been a bloody stupid blasted hypocrite many times... And a bloody arse to boot.

Birthday: Today was my brother's birthday. But guess what I did..? I stayed out till 11.30... Didn't give him his present, and missed his celebration altogether. All because I was thinking about myself and whatever not... Cause I kept trying to get myself to lighten up... Because... of well. A lot of things. None of which is reason enough to have done what I did. Or rather, did not do.

He's always made it a point to come back on time for _my_ birthday celebration every year... He never forgets to give me my present, and most of the time it even comes early. And what did I do this year? For the first time, I missed his birthday. What sort of a sister am I?

How screwed up can I get, really? How stupid can I get? ... But you know what, don't answer that.

I'm just wondering how I became what I am now... This screwed up me. The me that's almost unrecognisable now. This ugly, mutated, piece of... thing.

Randomness: I suppose randomness is not that much of a good thing... It just used to be some random thing my mind thought up with and I just let it flow out- (Heh, manda should know about this best. In fact, most should know about that little fact about me) Until recently... When randomness just became another weapon.

Not everything used to have a reason- But I realise that not many think that way. Everything I do is interpreted in some way... Watched by everyone. I suppose I will have to keep that in hand... To control that.

"Everything has a reason". Perhaps that's true. Perhaps somewhere in my subconscious, these all came from something. Something related to something that happened, to something I felt. It's just something I don't notice. Perhaps.

On the bright side: As someone said, "at least you're aware of it now. Thus you'll be able to change for the better as you see fit right?" Yeah. No one should have to stand my nonsense. I'll change. Just wait.


Signing off... ...
Tact and thought: An art I need to master