What cute animal are you?

Heyz- Just here to post some weird quiz I did ^^;; Got it off William's blog =P

You Are A: Lamb!

Peaceful and gentle, lambs have been used in religious imagery for millennia. Lambs are baby sheep, an animal tended by shephards since the dawn of history. As a lamb, you tend to stay together in a flock and graze on grassy land. Lambs don't mind being led and tend not to go off on their own.

You were almost a: Monkey or a Duck
You are least like a: Squirrel or a BunnyWhat Cute Animal Are You?

Fun-o-rama: Yep, went for fun-o-rama like a week ago, but was too lazy to blog about it. It was... fun. ^_^ Saw the ENTIRE RHOMBUS!!!! *bounces around* Walked around with 'manda, and we spent all our coupons on food *drools* Good food, too ;)

Saw the other 'manda, and we were like... err. Threatened. To go for her class' Haunted house thing ^^;; She kinda toppled a can of drink along the way and we took that chance to scamper. *coughs* Ah well. We didn't have enough dough for that attraction, couldn't blame us >_<

Was really great fun that day~ =)

Exams: Gah. 2 more exams to go... Ends on wed~ Yippee! =D *sighs* But then again I haven't studied for them =S So *coughs* Guess there's really nothing for me to be so happy about. *feels guilty* Okok, shall go study now...

Signing off... ...

The pillar

The strong Pillar
Stands alone
in the middle of the open space.

Reaching the skies
disappearing through the clouds,
Towering over the people of the town.

Sudden gusts of wind
Blow
in all directions.

And the Pillar
Wobbles
to and fro.

No longer Strong and
Powerful.

Another storm blows
with Strong Gusts of Wind
and It finally
Breaks.

Over it Topples,
Falling closer and
Closer to Earth with increasing
Speed.

No one to stop the fall
as the pillar
succumbs to gravity
and pressure.

It falls,
with a Thundering Thud
as It Hits
the ground.

Beaten, and
Worn out.
no longer strong,
no longer tall.

Finally defeated,
the pillar lies still,
Alone
in the open space.


Signing off... ...

JAE n disappointment

Yepz wanted to blog about today~

JAE duty: YEAH this was so much more fun than the CCF (course and career fair) that I helped out at the other time... Cause we just had to stick to our booth. ^^ And no stupid flyers to give out~ I got sick of standing around and doing nothing and getting all my favourite 'customers' (those asking about the game diploma) stolen by other helpers or lecturers after 11am, so I ended up whining to the other helpers. Err, kinda ^^;;

I told my friend too (one of those who stole my game customer) that I wanted to try to handle the next game enquiry if possible. After that, most of the group starting helping me to look out for 'customers', especially the girls ^^ Kinda embarassing, actually, cause one of them would suddenly scream "Angeline!! Game!", and then smile at the parents and continue, "You can ask her." ^^;;; Gosh, so embarassing!! Obviously everytime I hear that I'd like run over ^^;;

But it was really fun, and I felt so useful after that ^_^ Sadly everyone was leaving at 1, so I left with them too. Wanted to stay a little longer to see if Lace was coming, but she didn't, anyway ^^;; Ah well.

Food: Stuffed myself with lotsa food. Went for 2 rounds of the buffet teabreak during my duty, went for lunch at LJS and ate food enough for like 1 and a half people (cause the half was from one of my friends who couldn't finish her food). Went for jap class, ate some more, felt sick, returned home, and ate dinner. Oh gosh =S My poor tummy.

Disappointment: The _only_ disappointment of the day I guess. Some idiot, whom I shall call guy Z, kept smsing me disturbing messages throughout the day and refused to stop. Got darn pissed. Smsed Amanda about stuff-- After that, everytime I saw 'new message' I will start hoping that the name attached to it would be 'Allamanda', but well. It wasn't most of the time ^^; Got rather frustrated and irritated and disgusted cause more often than not guy Z's name would be the one attached to the message.

Ah well: The ONLY downside and wet blanket to the entire day. Sigh. Other than that, I had a great day. Saw Desiree and Nina on my way back from class too~ ^^Talked to Desiree. Martina was with her- wanted to say hi but she like saw me, looked awkward, and looked away. ;;;;;; Ah well. Loved everything today save for the harassing messages. Loved the duty, loved the food, loved the people, loved the other messages received, loved jap class (though I almost fell asleep a couple of times), loved my trip back from class, loved lunch, and dinner~

Great day, today.


Signing off... ...

HeyZ~ I'm BACK! ^^;; Okay, on with the updating~ I know many of you probably like gave up checking my blog and everything ^^;; Thanks for checking again!

CYA failure: CYA = Changi Youth Ambassador. Okay, I failed the interview, so I didn't manage to get in... ^^;; My mum told me that it was probably because of my sickness that day and joked about me probably coughing too much and talking too softly so they decided not to choose me. I guess it's true that being sick might have affected me a bit that day, but I think it just shows that I'm not cut out for those kinda outgoing jobs-- Unless I'm totally not nervous or someone in my team screws up in front of me. Thank goodness I chose IT~ ^^ I'd die in like... sales or business or something ^^;;; Ah well.

Assignments: Screwed. Screwed up everything big time this semester. My programming teacher was 'disappointed' in 2 of my works so far... Err, and there only has been 2 passed up. *wonders* If that isn't screwed, I dunno what is. That's my best subject, by the way. The rest is like... errrrr... no better.... Millions of assignments gonna be due within the next week and the week after that should be my exam week. *shudders* Wish me luck~!

CCA: Oh gosh, busy busy busy. I have neglected 2 out of 3 of my duties cause of other briefings and stuff I have at the exact same time. Neglected my duty as a treasurer for some time too... Also neglected my part in one of my assignments... Gosh, so so so guilty... Gonna start bucking up from now!!

Skye came!: Skye came to my school to sell fun-o-rama tickets~ It was rather funny ^^;; I ran out of the class to meet her (and told chelsea to call me straightaway if it was our turn for the interview) and then walked around and bought a plate of food with her. Then, we went to buy a drink. Even before I could eat my food, Chelsea called, and said 'she said you better come back now' or something like that... so it meant that the teacher had been waiting for some time now. I ran all the way back up, and Chelsea told me that she thought I was with a junior so she wanted to give me more time... -_-;; Hm. Right... Just glad we didn't get into trouble.

Anyway, after that, I used the fact that I had left all my stuff downstairs as a reason and trotted back down to the foodcourt (ran, more like) to finish eating my food and to talk to Skye a little longer. After realising that I had missed like a third of the lesson, I ran back up, again. All the in-between times when I tried to ask some people I know whether they were interested to go for the fun-o-rama err. Skye kinda scared some off with her enthusiasm ^^;; I thought it was funny to see my friends scampering away~ Heheheh... Some guy.

Then apologised to my duty mates, walked Skye and company to the MRT on the way to LT1 and then had a boring briefing, where the PA system kept screwing up and making weird noises. Rather interesting. ;)

Quotations: We had to settle some T-shirt quotations for my CCA, and we had some problems getting our hands on the design... Once we did, we headed down to the T-shirt company, got lost, liased with the assistant, left cause the boss wasn't there, and headed back to school for the proposal-making, where all of us sat there redundantly. Hm.

50% childish?: Yes, that's about the normal rate for the guys in my school. Sad, ain't it. Ah well. Might be more, who knows. I'm giving a large amount the benifit of the doubt. Only 20% I can communicate really well with. 80% use hokkien vulgarities, 3/4 speak in chinese, and well... Can't really remember any more ^^;; I can feel the communication breakdown really strongly. *shudders*

Fun-o-rama: Currently don't really have people to go with me... If you're interested tell me kay?? 18 feb 9 - 6, but i'll only be going lie after 12 or sth...


Signing off... ...

Left behind

A year: It feels like it's been a million and one days since I left SC, when it's been only about a year. 366 days ago I stepped into NYJC feeling slightly apprehensive, but excited. Approximately 4 or 5 months later, I entered SP, feeling utterly freaked. Half a year I've been in SP, and all my friends (those in JC at least) have entered year 2.

Stuck: I feel stunted, still being in year 1. All of us left school at the same time, yet somehow I feel like everyone's moving ahead on a bullet train while I'm on a bus, stuck in a traffic jam. There's still the phone to communicate, but the routes and everything are different, and I can only feel like I'm moving further and further away from everyone every single day.

My brainpower's deteoriating, my determination, though stregthened during my first semester, is slowly withering now. The stress and feeling of being used by my own classmates are slowly gnawing at my patience and extinguishing my fire.

Ladder: A few weeks ago I wrote something in class about a ladder - how I felt that a lot of friends, who were once alongside me, were moving up and up the ladder, while I stop and turn back, noticing that my other friends are still below. I wondered then, whether I should continue on up or go back down to help my friends up. Since then, I still haven't made my decision, and am still stuck in the middle. The slower ones catching up with me, and the ones alongside me moving on and leaving me behind. That's _exactly_ how I feel now.

New Year: The new year is supposed to mark a new beginning, a time where you can make your decisions and resolutions and work on them- To me now, though, it's nothing more than a distraction to my studies and a reminder of how I chose the rocky road instead of the main one.

Good luck!: For those who are in JC, I wish you all good luck in the coming year in your As!! And yes, HAPPY belated NEW YEAR!


Signing off... ...

Bag and keychain, and MSTs begin.

I'm starting to feel extremely frustrated.

MSTs: My Mid-semester tests (MSTs) started on Tuesday, and the last two papers have been utter crap. I can't believe I lost like 10 marks at a time... I don't think I will be able to get good marks for those two papers anymore...... ='( Tomorrow's my best subject, but somehow, from the way things are going, I feel like it won't be good. Since today's paper, I've had a strong sense of foreboding come over me. If I can't score for the next 2 papers.... *shudders* I don't really want to think about it. The only good thing is that there's still the end-of-module examinations to pull me up. That is, if I do well in those. *sighs*

Unlucky stuff: Okay, first. Most know that my pencil box is gone... The pencil box that my brother gave me and I loved a lot. Along with my thumbdrive. My pencil box had my lucky neoprints and stuff in it, and was what sat with me through my Os, and my 1st sem tests. That was ookkayyy. After all I still had my bag and the keychain Skye gave me.

Right. After I came back from KL a few days ago, there was a slit in the back of the bag. Now, the slit stretches across the entire back. Which means that it's falling apart. Then the keychain... This morning before i sat for my test, I held my keychain like I always do. Then I realised that it felt... weird. I looked down, and waddya know? The wing that was attached to the bottom had... well. detached itself. No matter how I tried to look for it I couldn't find it. Sigh. It was like my lucky charm since I got it, and meant a lot to me.

I know it sounds funny to be mourning over all this, but to me they're all rather precious and I don't know if I'm just being silly, but it feels like some kind of premonition.

I guess I'll just have to cross my fingers and hope everything will turn out all right.


Signing off... ...

Clearing things up,

Heyz people~ ^^

Clearing things up: To annony, I forgot to add-- There's a difference between 'untactful' and 'joking'. I'm sure you can tell them apart-- Thanks for understanding, in advance. That aside.......

Busy busy: Sighz, so much homework, asignments, projects, meetings and other stuff these two weeks-- So much for e-learning week. Too much stuff, and server jam. Ah well. ^^;; Ended up going back to school everyday for the past few days, and had activities yesterday from 9am to 10pm yesterday... Was dead beat-- But the volunteer work part was fun~ Had lots and LOTS of fun during that 5 hours with Jonathan and Shawn. And I made a new friend with this guy called Vivek~ ^^

Wishing Tree Launch: Yep, that was the volunteer work thingy~ There were like santa clauses (?), cute reindeers and an elf running around~ Darn cute!!! The santa clauses were like carrying sacks and giving out presents to kids and everything-- ^^ And then there was the performance, where we could slack and watch the show~ GOSH THE PERFORMERS WERE GOOD!! =^^= Got quite crappy and hyper and jumpy~ Heheh, had lots of fun~ Shawn taught Vivek to suck in helium and talk in that high-pitched voice, and made me laugh non-stop. Hadn't felt so relaxed and happy in some time~ =D

Short fuse? Or no?: Recently I've been wondering if I've been getting an extremely short fuse... Thought and thought about it, but I realised that I'm only so to a minority who are out irritate me all the time-- Only realised that today when I realised how much fun I had yesterday, even though I met so many people. Realised the reason too. I'm still struggling to learn how to deal with people who (constantly) step over the line. I never knew anyone who did that in the past, so it's still rather foreign to me. Much to learn I guess ^^;;

Christmas!: Yesh Christmas is coming!! The only bad thing is that I may very well only be doing some of my Christmas shopping after Christmas =S That is. Well. Not good. =( Ah well. But never mind, I'll figure something out~ =) CHRISTMAS TIME~ ^^ Heehee~

CF: ComicFiesta was like... last week. Couldn't go _again_. Sigh. In my entire cosplay career, not once have I gone for ComicFiesta. Missing out on a lot. Ah well. Next time, perhaps, maybe I'll be able to~ ^^ Welcome back Skye!! ^^

Malaysia trips: I'll be going to Malaysia with my family sometime next week if I'm not wrong ^^ Hope to have lotsa fun then~ But the downside would be that I'll be trudging my textbooks along to study for my Mid-Semester Tests-- Ah well.


Signing off... ...

Regret

Regrets: The one thing I've regretted really badly is that I didn't enjoy myself thoroughly during the EOY event... It was something I have been waiting for for a YEAR and I didn't enjoy myself thoroughly. Didn't move around that much, not much pictures taken... Didn't pose much... Didn't stalk much... Didn't buy much... I spent half the time on the floor dammit. Why was I that dumb?

The taste of regret is really really bitter, and it's been weighing my heart down since Saturday... At least I learned one thing-- I will never repeat my mistake again... My poor Yukino.......


Signing off......

AsuCaga photoshoot

Summary: Okay, today was basically, lousy mood, better mood, good mood, GREAT mood, good mood, bad mood.

AsuCaga photoshoot: Today I went for Skye and Kazeki's Athrun and Cagalli photoshoot~ Made new friends with Kazeki and Aiko~ ^^ Great people~ The photoshoot was really fun, but we did a heck lot of walking around Sentosa-- Couldn't get many good shots... =( But well. It was fun ^^ Aiko, David, Auel and I were the photographers, and Senti was the bag-carrier ^^;; Heheh...

Dinner: Then we came back to the mainland to eat dinner at Yoshinoya... Then we went to Taka to get Kazeki and Aiko their paint before they return to Malaysia tomorrow... Then guess what? Art Friends was CLOSED! Ah well... Then we headed down to Somerset and visited Inu at AA. I finally know where AA is!! ^^;;; Heehee...

Return home: Okay, my mum wasn't that mad at me for coming back late... Cause I had the sense this time to sms her and then call her when I was at Somerset-- ^^; But when I came home, I got darn pissed off.

Idiot: Okay, some IDIOT in my class kept insulting cosplay and kept complaining about how BORING yesterday's event was. And how he said he wasted 24 bucks cause he paid for his friend too. I scolded him off and told him not to insult cosplay in front of me, but he had the bloody guts to tell me no and that he WANTS to insult it in front of me. LIKE WHAT THE FREAK!!! IF YOU HAVE NO BLOODY INTEREST IN COSPLAY OR ANIME OR MANGA YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE GONE IN THE FIRST PLACE!! I DIDN'T ASK YOU TO SO THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NO REASON FOR YOU TO BLAME ME!!

You know what he's doing? It's like... picture this. A japanese food hater goes to a Japanese restaurant, pays quite a bit for the food, _eats_ the food, leaves the place, and goes to a Japanese food lover and starts flaming the restaurant, even though the food was good. Like DUH!! If you're going to act stupid and BE stupid, I have EVERY RIGHT to call you STUPID. And if you're going to be childish, untactful, rude and stupid all at once, I have the right to ignore you too. So bloody SHUT UP!!

Phew: Okay, I feel so much better. If that person sees this, he'll know I'm referring to him. Okay, that's it about my day~ Ranting post, I know ^^


Signing off...

Some piccys for EOY

Some cosplay piccys from EOY 2005:


Skye-- Doesn't the dress look pretty? Shtupid Haro kept making weird noises ^^;;

Aww~ Heheh... Kira and Cagalli~ Don't they look cute together? And that's Lynette in the background!!

Lynette as Misa from Deathnote~~ Front View ;)

Hm, the pic speaks for itself: Amanda ^^;

Pretty Lacus and Kira~ ^^

Ichigo trying to chop Kon's nose off-

Kon looks confused...

Ouch.

The Ritsuka that took me pretty long to remember ^^;;

Got a weee bit of fanservice from Fuji and Tezuka. Had great timing-- Was there when their team members forced them to fanservice for us ;) Except... err, the glasses are on the wrong person? ^^;; But still sweet~!!

YESH THE GREAT KADAJ AND YAZOO!!!

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWww!!!!! DON'T THEY LOOK GOOD TOGETHER?

*coughs* Well. This was... hm. ^^;;; At least they got second for pair ;)

EOY 2005

EOY 2005 WAS TODAY!! ^^

Thanks: Very importantly, I want to thank a few people for helping me out so much-- Firstly, SKYE!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR HELPING ME DRAW IT LOOKED FABULOUS!! And also for the candy cane~ Heehee ;) Next would be... Amanda and Ang and Lynette and Mandy~ For helping me with the makeup and my costume before the thing-- Then... Clarence-- For helping my buy the Lily at the very last minute-- Yepz-- ^_^ Love you guys loads~

Event: Yesh, well... I was one-third trying to stay with Clarence, one-third trying to stay with my friends, and one-third being myself and snapping and going crazy and fangirling. ^^ It was.. well. To tell you the truth, not as fun as I thought. Not that it wasn't fun, it just... lacked something. Maybe it was because I wasn't with Skye most of the time, or maybe it was because I didn't hang out with the bunch of cosplayers I knew, or maybe it was because I didn't make any new friends-- I dunno...

Next time, I'm joining a group. I find it more fun when you're in a group and you have a place to return to, hang around a lot, stay around to help with and receive help from when preparing for the event, and go out for dinner after the event. This time, Well. Needless to say about half wasn't fulfilled-- *sigh* Ah well. But it was great fun anyway~ ^^

And oh yes!! I saw Grace today~~ ^^ *bounces around* She looked slightly different~ And everyone looked great! Especially Skye and Inu and *coughs* The bishies ;)

Stalking: No, not me... ^^;;; Mandy and Lynette went around stalking people and taking photos of them~ ^^;; Heheh... It was amusing to see their photos~ Lynette in the foreground and the target in the background. It was funny~ ^^ And then Amanda told their first target that they were stalking them (cause the target was Himu) and they had to change their target to the top-hat guy~ Heheh...

Mi costume: One bad thing about my costume? MY WIG WAS BROWN. Ya. And really, Yukino should have a haircut. Darn wig got entangled and everything... Wah. But by lord there was a RITSUKA!! AND FFAC!! And-- *goes on to rants*

Rants: It actually took me almost an hour to realise why the character looked SO FAMILIAR. And why? CAUSE HE WAS RITSUKA FROM LOVELESS!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE I WAS SO DENSE!! Then we talked a wee bit... And I said like one line to the Kawachi from Yakitate! Japan- Heheh... But didn't exchange contacts or anything... Ah well.

And most importantly........ KADAJxYAZOO!!! OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!! *goes into fangirl mode* KADAJ PLACED HIS (or her) HAND ON YAZOO'S BUTT!! AND WAHHHHH OMG I SHOULD HAVE ASKED FOR FANSERVICE!!!! TOTALLY went trigger-happy around them and got all fangirly and everything-- OMG I think I melted... ^^;;;

Well, on the whole the event was rather fun~~ Loved hearing Skye sing up there~ =^^=


Signing off......

Would-have-been-Chill

Okay, this is basically just a ranting post......

!Chill@SP: Okay, the rhombus was _supposed_ to go together, but it was cancelled... Heavily disappointed... but that's another story. I went to the STAC forum (okay, Skye, don't kill me.... I was just looking for pics!!) and found some pics taken at the cosplay at !Chill. Okay, considering I kept seeing the same faces in the pics, I suppose there weren't _that_ many cosplayers... BUT ONE OF THEM OWNED A KATANA!!! LIKE WAH! I _could_ have stolen it and taken a pic for my assignment... but... Ah well. Sigh, I wish I could have forseen the cancellation on friday... Then I would have walked around myself instead of forcing myself not to. ... And I'm whining again...

Continuing on with what was at !Chill, I saw the bazzar at the plaza on friday before I left~ There were SO MUCH NICE FOOD!!! I saw the Snow Ice thing being sold, and takopachi, and durian pancakes (I managed to taste a small sample ;)) and a LOT of other nice food!! *drools* Then there were other stalls selling miscellenous stuff... And I know my friend in choir (guy) was performing too-- There were like free drinks given out (My club members were in charge of that so I got one can too ^^) and cosplay and stuff--

There was supposed to be a kimono demo where we can learn how to wear a yukata and stuff-- And a tea ceremony thing... Darn cool.

Pre-registration successful!: On the bright side, since I didn't manage to go for the !Chill thing, I could go for the EOY pre-registration~ (End-of-year cosplay, for those who don't know what EOY is) Went with Skye, Senti and Joe (yeah, got to know someone new! ^^) Saw Eden and this bunch of other people and had quite a lot of fun~ ^^ Now all I have to worry about is finishing my Yukino costume in time for EOY- Things left: Obi, big ribbon thingy at the back of my Obi, and the patterns on my kimono (Skye, I place my kimono in your hands-- Thanks for all your help!! ^^)

JLPT1 coming up: Okay... This is scary... I have.... 6 and a half more days before my JLPT1 EXAM!!! *freaks* I need to start studying and everything... But I've got a million assignments coming up ALL DUE THIS WEEK!!! And 2 meetings!! How am I going to manage this???!! *freaks even more* And my family is practically not giving me another choice but to pass... Can't take this much longer... That means that I'll have to cut myself off from any other human activity which is not necessary and try to mug... *cries* Wish me luck!! I'll need it.


Signing off......

Bad to worse

Hey all!! ^^;; Yep! *walks through cobwebs and brushes them off* I'm back, again. ^^ Ah well. There's been a lot of stuff... but if I were to talk about them all I'll like flood the entire place... so... I ended up writing this in class instead... ^^;; I know it's very haphazard, as usual... but... *sigh* Whatever...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
5 o'clock, 6 o'clock, 7 o'clock.
Quiet,
in a corner
Listening.
Smiles, Laughter and
Enjoyment--
"Talk more!"

7 o'clock, 8 o'clock, 9 o'clock.
Inssistent chatter,
with futile efforts to enter conversation.
Laughter, Smiles and
a slight Frown.
Disappointment--
"..."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Some rambles...

School teacher: OMG one of my tutors is a former SC girl!!! @.@ And she's like really cool-- Was a director before, and one of the FEW tutors I feel comfortable listening to~ =)=) But err... *coughs* I was slightly scared of her ^^;; When it was my turn to say something I froze up totally even though I knew what I was going to say. 3 little words. And she heard something different cause of my freeze-up. =( Wahhh I'll never be able to face this world again!!

And I'm so glad to say she's not homophobic ;) Liberal, yeah.

GOF: YEAH YEAH YEAH 1 MORE WEEK!!!! *bounces around* I'm going with Ying Ying to watch it after school-- (which is like rather late... but WHO CARES!! IT'S GOF!!!)


Signing off... ...

Chameleon

Wandering aimlessly...

Green against the leaves...
Brown against bark...
Yellow against withering leaves...
Smooth transitions.

Brown against wood..
White against walls..
Grey against the gravel path..
Occasional hitches.

A mix of blue and yellow against the curtains,
A mix of red and yellow against the biscuit tin,
A mix of blue and grey against the newspapers,
Confusion.

Blue against the Gardenia packaging
White against the monitor screen
Brown against rainbow-coloured toys.
A scream.

Thrown out of the house,
Sharp pain as body collides with tiled flooring.
What colour was I again?


Signing off... ...

Quick Update -- with poem

This is going to be just a very quick update on my latest... You may ignore this if you wish. =)

Advent Children: Yep, Advent Children's been out for quite a few days, and I think I've watched it quite a few times already... Really good movie, with great bishies, action and slashy parts. Not to mention the comic relief provided by Reno and Rude (some characters from the movie). I'm supposed to be studying for my exams, but hm. Well. You know, I always end up doing something else.

Exams: As I said, exams' here.... Trying to study... Need. To. Get. Distinctions. Else my hope to enter University will be much affected... Argh. Had my first exam today. Or yesterday, whatever. Wasn't as bad as expected. Managed to crap out answers for everything.

Bad friend: Okay, I can't believe I didn't asked someone to fill in his birthday for me into my birthday alarm account. And so I didn't realise his birthday passed!! Omg, 2 and a half months later I realise it. What sort of a friend am I?? Gosh.

Misc: 2 months and... what, 4 days? Till what? Till the release of the Globet of Fire of course!! ^^;; Told you I end up thinking of everything else when I start studying for my exams. Just now I had this sudden 'inspiration' (of sorts) and ended up writing something like a poem... If you're interested, click here to read it. The title... is, well, there 'cause of a lack of a better one.

Now, back to studying.


Signing off... ...

Insides, outsides

Hey! I know it's been ages since I last updated... ^^;;; I thought that this blog will be filled with cobwebs soon.... but 'manda bugged me to update this afternoon =P Yep, so I'm updating.

Comments from classmates: Okay, this is something that kinda bothered me... Recently there have been quite a few classmates (obviously guys) who have been commenting about my dressing. Not in a good way, of course. There's this workshop on dressing coming up during the holidays, and some of the guys (the ones I'm closer to) have been telling me that I should really go for that course cause I need it. Okay, I know I don't dress up well, but hey, there's no need to be that blunt!

Inside, outside: There's this phrase in Japanese: "Gaiken yori nakami" [外見より中身] which basically means that your insides (character, personality) are more important than your outsides (looks). Which I agree with wholeheartedly. I've never bothered myself with my looks. Hey, look at me. Since young my mum was the one who bought my clothes, and it's always been the same. Black pants with a T-shirt, socks and sport shoes. I've never given it much thought. Until recently, of course, when I started to get myself a few tops. Just those few.

Looks: I know I've never been a master at dressing... but after those comments I guess I've started to think a little... Given that I'm also growing up. Is dressing up really so important? I mean, I don't look that bad till you feel like laughing or puking when you see me, right? ... Or do I? Then when I went for my japanese class, I talked to a classmate about it... And they gave me comments. All said the same thing. Yes, dressing is important. They said more, but basically that's the gist. And I suppose it somewhat got the point across.

But it's been the same for me for the last 16, no, 17 years of my life. It'll be so embarassing and uncomfortable to change all of a sudden. My friends would know about my low self-esteem... You put me in something totally new, and I freak. I'll start paying more attention to what others think and every comment will strike me hard. I don't know. Should I? Maybe I'll go shopping one day during my holidays...?

Me, inside: I remember what Andrea used to say... "You're too nice! That's why everyone takes advantage of you!" and everytime I'll shrink and go "no, I'm not..." Well, maybe if I do think of myself in a third-person perspective, I agree I that I get taken advantage of, some of the time, all the more so in poly. But am I really 'too nice'? I didn't think so. Or maybe I'm only thinking like that 'cause it's just the me now. With Poly, my defences have gone up a LOT. I get defensive, violent and irritable whenever someone comments on me, be it nasty, nice, or whatever. I've been getting more sceptical than ever, and I know it. But I can't seem to help it... =(

Changes: It might be because they're guys. It's so different from when I'm talking to girls. Back in SC, everyone is so nice, and I guess I can afford to be timid and myself. Then now, a mask slips readily into place and... I don't really know... My Business Chinese class used to be my life buoy in poly. It was one of the ONLY places I could be myself. Then, a few days ago, I met my classmate after my class when I was talking with my Business Chinese classmates. The result was rather disastrous. The overlap was so drastic that I didn't really know how to act. It was scary, to say the least. And the worst thing is... The Business Chinese days are over. Over. Omg. They're over. I won't get to hang out with the guys and girls in my class anymore. ... The thought is rather terrifying.

Birthdays: Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ALL SEPTEMBER BABIES!! Heheh, I'm lazy, aren't I. But oh gosh, there are SO many of my close friends' birthdays this month. Deone, Momo, Amanda, Meiling, Jazzy... and there are more people whom I'm not close to whose birthdays fall in Sept too. Ah well. Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY again to all of you! ^_^ Heheh...

Btw, I did one of those 'angel' quizzes from Lynette's blog for the fun of it. ^^;; I don't know... is the result really me?



you are a light angel, you are peacful and
giving.you like to make others smile and happy.
as the white angel you care for other more than
your self. you are a total opposite of the dark
angel. you should pay attention to your self
once in blue moon, but never stop giviong.
people like you can make a peaceful world. you
are very likable, in other words it's easy to
make friends. you are unique, there aren't many
like you. good job ;)


what kind of angel suits you the best(cool anime pics)
brought to you by Quizilla



Signing off... ...

The betraying of trust

I can't believe this. I deleted my previous post, which was filled with all my frustrations and well. Stuff. For someone. Whatever happened to freedom of speech? *sigh* Never mind...

I was forming my entry in my mind on my way home today but I think everything disappeared after I went out with my dad just now... ='( Never mind, I'll just write an entry anyway.


The incident today: I was trying to take some pictures of my friends today, while I was walking towards the MRT station with them. Two of them started acting cute and gay, so I took my camera out, ran in front of them, and snapped. It was a good picture, and it was cute, so I was pretty happy. (Mind you, they knew I was going to take a picture of them anyway) and then one of them asked whether he could see the photo. I passed the camera to him, then suddenly heard "I delete ar!" from behind me. I quickly turned around and shouted "NO!" at him rather loudly. I saw him make to press the delete button anyway and I started wrestling with him.

When I got it back, I realised that he had already deleted it. That got me pissed. I mean, it's not the photo that got me entirely pissed, it was the lack of respect for me as a person, and the lack of consideration for a _friend_. And at the beginning of the year he told me he'd take me as a one. What rubbish.

Lack of respect and consideration: This wasn't the first time. Ever since I knew him he has been telling me nothing but lies, playing with my emotions and using his words to control me. What I hated was that he said he was my FRIEND but he's hitting ALL my weak points anyway. He knows I don't know how to retort and handle all the 'suan'ing, but he does it anyway. What a friend.

I knew he was like that, but I trusted that he'd know his limits and not mess around with my things without my permission. _That's_ why I passed the camera to him. But NO!! He betrayed my trust, messed around with my pictures and deleted whatever he wanted. What happened to giving ME control over my own things? He asked me whether he could delete it. But if he was going to delete it ANYWAY regardless of my reply then it's equivalent to not asking at all. And it's plain RUDE, INCONSIDERATE, and DISRESPECTFUL. But no, I don't think he knows. Either that, or those words just aren't in his dictionary.

Look at it this way, before knowing them, NONE of my friends would have done such a thing. If they saw me reacting that violently to the idea of deleting it, they'd play around a bit but they wouldn't delete it. I believe that even the rest of the class wouldn't have deleted it. And I thought he was decent. Whole lot of rubbish. Decent, my ass.

It wasn't just the picture. It was a whole lot more when he did what he did.


OOPG: I don't really know what's going on, but everyone's been asking for my assignment codes. I mean, what for! I'm not even doing it the way the teacher wants it!! I'm happy doing it my way and I don't want anyone to COPY! But they don't wan't to listen to all that. They want to get it from me and circulate it around so everyone will get a copy. HELLO!!! I'm not even doing it the way the teacher wants it. It'll be DAMN obvious if they copied!! They don't care, do they. The penalty for copying is quite harsh. They ALL know that. But they don't care. No one does. They just think that if I get good marks and they copy, they'll get the good marks too. No one's counting on themselves. Except perhaps a rare few.

We can group up in pairs for the assignment, but it looks like I only have two choices -- either pair up with Chelsea or do it myself. I'm not doing it with anyone else. I don't trust that they'd keep it to themselves. The only one I thought was pretty decent dared to tell me that he'd pass it to his friend, who'd circulate it everywhere.

And really. almost all of them said they don't understand my codes. Then why bother to even use it?? Crazy bunch of people, the lot of them.


More CHOCO: Okay, enough frustrations for a day. Let's talk about HAPPIER things ^_^ I made choco last weekend, and my friends said it was good. So did my mum and bro. I just came back from buying more baking choco with my dad, and my mum said she got the chocolate moulds for me already. That means.... MORE CHOCO MAKING!!! ^_^ I'm planning to distribute the chocos to my friends and stuff next, next monday. Which means I probably have to wait till next week to cook em.

But... I can't wait any longer.... it's just so fun!! ^_^ And I heard it's pretty good... and I want to try more... some _person_ in my class keeps wanting to eat my choco and he was the ONLY one I gave 2 pieces to. And he still dared to demand for more the next day, even though I told him I didn't have any left. Argh. Anyway... Hm. You know what, I think I may just make the chocolate anyway this week ;) Whee~~~ =P


Signing off......

Screwed, me.

You suck.

You know that, don't you?
...

What's the point of dominating?
... None.
Then why do you do it anyway?
... I don't know.
You know it irritates people, don't you?
... Yes.
Is that your point then, to irritate?
... No...
Then... why?
... I don't know...

Where's your control?
... Gone with the wind.
Excuses, excuses.
...
Enjoy annoying the heck out of everyone, do you.
... No...
You need to have control.
... I know...
Learn it.
... Yes...


Conquer yourself.
... I'll try.
You aren't trying.
... I will...
Start now.
... Yes, tomorrow...
Start now.
... Tonight, I reflect.
You aren't reflecting.
... Give me time... I'll change...
...
I'll try my best, I promise.


Remember: Over-confidence gives the impression of arrogance.


Signing off... ...
Interrogation; Jerkies aren't nice.

Apologies

This entry is for and about my current class DIT/1A/02, even though they'll probably not read it.

Apologies: Sorry, Derrick, Chelsea, Bo Sheng, Ceed, Wee Kwang, Daniel, Yong He and F4, for losing my temper so easily and scolding you guys. Basically, I'd like to apologise to EVERYONE I've pissed off or irritated the past few days. The stress is getting to me. The whole Shuwei thing, especially. Anything to do with that with that name is stressful. Everyone seems to be depending on me to do everything, and it's starting to get on my nerves.

CIP: There's the CIP thing for Character Development, where I've asked the WHOLE class to help me look information for, and only one person came up with something - that was total crap. Done by who? Who else will give me irrelevant crap and show it to the class? Shuwei, of course. Okay, I don't blame the rest of class. Most of them only knew about it really last minute. But those that are 'helping' go to a page with lots of links to different places (most of which have dead links) and copy and paste the link to me and ask it it's okay. ERM. I thought you were helping. Minimal, it seems.

TBCM: After much irritating and begging and godknowswhatelse, Shuwei is in my group for TBCM. And since it is Shuwei, the group is NEVER in the mood to discuss the work with him around. So... nothing has been done, and we're WAY behind time. Worst thing is, Shuwei DARED to blame and scold me for not doing anything. HELLO!!!! I was the ONLY one bugging the group once every five minutes to continue discussing. If you really thought that we weren't doing anything, why don't you INITIATE AND STOP BLAMING EVERYTHING ON ME!!! YOU SAY YOU'RE THE BLOODY CLASS REP AND DARE TO ANNOUNCE IT TO EVERYONE WHEN YOU DON'T DO ANYTHING! Oh god.

'Teasing': Shuwei has a nickname-- Energy. And the class likes to tease that I am with 'F4' and 'Energy'. Okay, F4 is fine, since I'm close to them and I know they won't take them seriously. But oh Gosh. Energy??? What an insult to the real group Energy man. BAD insult. And it's absolutely REVOLTING everytime they play the edited version of Energy's song and replace the name with Shuwei's, and say it's dedicated to me. More than once I felt like leaving the class, but no, I had to maintain control.

Schoolwork: Then there's practical. Many people in my class can't do the practical qns (which I suspect is because they don't listen during lecture, or just plain made careless mistakes) and end up asking me for help. I'll help, of course, and in the beginning I was like a third teacher, running around the entire lesson like the other two teachers. Then I started to put my foot down and scold some of my classmates due to the stress. I'm REALLY really sorry for that... It's just that... Running around and helping everyone during lesson just means that I don't have time to do the practical myself. And I'm lagging behind now.

Shuwei is starting to turn into a foul word. NEVER mention that name in front of me.

I'm about to break down soon. So much to do, so little time... The stress is overwhelming, and I'm starting to forget everything that I'm supposed to complete.

Aren't I glad that they don't know my blog...


Signing off... ...

S9D outing

S9D outing: YEAH!! Today a group of us went out to the arcade together... and then ate dinner. There were people like Huiyong, William, Weida, Hui Xin, Meiling, Pei Yu and Wen Jun there... It was damn fun and enjoyable!! ^^ For the first time in AGES I really REALLY laughed. I laughed so hard and so long I could hardly eat my burger over dinner-- ^^ It's been SOOOOOOOooooo long since I last hanged out with them I was elated. Really missed them, so much. I can't wait for the next outing man. ^^

Arcade: I watched a few of them play several games (the one where there are three coloured buttons and you bang on them erratically in hope that you'll be the fastest, and the one where you hold this long thing in your hands and swing it about and use it as a sword to kill monsters.) I myself played Time Crisis 2 with Huiyong and the DDR thingy with William. ^^ Had lots and lots and lots of fun. We also crowded around a stupid machine and Hui Xin asked William to try and pick toys from the machine... Obviously, we failed to do so.

Dinner: Then Pei Yu, William and Huiyong left. Hui Xin actually left too, but at City Hall she decided to turn back and join us for dinner too ^^;;; Dinner was full of jokes and stuff, and we got someone to take a picture of the 5 of us left. ^_^ After dinner we walked around, window shopping and talking crap. That was basically my fun part of the day. Enjoyed myself tremendously. ^^ LOOKING FORWARD TO THE NEXT OUTING!!

Pei Yu and Meiling: Next time, you guys are gonna PLAY!! ^^ Maybe we can bang the stupid coloured buttons things together. =P


Signing off... ...