Heyz people~ ^^
Clearing things up: To annony, I forgot to add-- There's a difference between 'untactful' and 'joking'. I'm sure you can tell them apart-- Thanks for understanding, in advance. That aside.......
Busy busy: Sighz, so much homework, asignments, projects, meetings and other stuff these two weeks-- So much for e-learning week. Too much stuff, and server jam. Ah well. ^^;; Ended up going back to school everyday for the past few days, and had activities yesterday from 9am to 10pm yesterday... Was dead beat-- But the volunteer work part was fun~ Had lots and LOTS of fun during that 5 hours with Jonathan and Shawn. And I made a new friend with this guy called Vivek~ ^^
Wishing Tree Launch: Yep, that was the volunteer work thingy~ There were like santa clauses (?), cute reindeers and an elf running around~ Darn cute!!! The santa clauses were like carrying sacks and giving out presents to kids and everything-- ^^ And then there was the performance, where we could slack and watch the show~ GOSH THE PERFORMERS WERE GOOD!! =^^= Got quite crappy and hyper and jumpy~ Heheh, had lots of fun~ Shawn taught Vivek to suck in helium and talk in that high-pitched voice, and made me laugh non-stop. Hadn't felt so relaxed and happy in some time~ =D
Short fuse? Or no?: Recently I've been wondering if I've been getting an extremely short fuse... Thought and thought about it, but I realised that I'm only so to a minority who are out irritate me all the time-- Only realised that today when I realised how much fun I had yesterday, even though I met so many people. Realised the reason too. I'm still struggling to learn how to deal with people who (constantly) step over the line. I never knew anyone who did that in the past, so it's still rather foreign to me. Much to learn I guess ^^;;
Christmas!: Yesh Christmas is coming!! The only bad thing is that I may very well only be doing some of my Christmas shopping after Christmas =S That is. Well. Not good. =( Ah well. But never mind, I'll figure something out~ =) CHRISTMAS TIME~ ^^ Heehee~
CF: ComicFiesta was like... last week. Couldn't go _again_. Sigh. In my entire cosplay career, not once have I gone for ComicFiesta. Missing out on a lot. Ah well. Next time, perhaps, maybe I'll be able to~ ^^ Welcome back Skye!! ^^
Malaysia trips: I'll be going to Malaysia with my family sometime next week if I'm not wrong ^^ Hope to have lotsa fun then~ But the downside would be that I'll be trudging my textbooks along to study for my Mid-Semester Tests-- Ah well.
Signing off... ...
Thursday, 22 December 2005
Tuesday, 13 December 2005
Regret
Regrets: The one thing I've regretted really badly is that I didn't enjoy myself thoroughly during the EOY event... It was something I have been waiting for for a YEAR and I didn't enjoy myself thoroughly. Didn't move around that much, not much pictures taken... Didn't pose much... Didn't stalk much... Didn't buy much... I spent half the time on the floor dammit. Why was I that dumb?
The taste of regret is really really bitter, and it's been weighing my heart down since Saturday... At least I learned one thing-- I will never repeat my mistake again... My poor Yukino.......
Signing off......
The taste of regret is really really bitter, and it's been weighing my heart down since Saturday... At least I learned one thing-- I will never repeat my mistake again... My poor Yukino.......
Signing off......
Sunday, 11 December 2005
AsuCaga photoshoot
Summary: Okay, today was basically, lousy mood, better mood, good mood, GREAT mood, good mood, bad mood.
AsuCaga photoshoot: Today I went for Skye and Kazeki's Athrun and Cagalli photoshoot~ Made new friends with Kazeki and Aiko~ ^^ Great people~ The photoshoot was really fun, but we did a heck lot of walking around Sentosa-- Couldn't get many good shots... =( But well. It was fun ^^ Aiko, David, Auel and I were the photographers, and Senti was the bag-carrier ^^;; Heheh...
Dinner: Then we came back to the mainland to eat dinner at Yoshinoya... Then we went to Taka to get Kazeki and Aiko their paint before they return to Malaysia tomorrow... Then guess what? Art Friends was CLOSED! Ah well... Then we headed down to Somerset and visited Inu at AA. I finally know where AA is!! ^^;;; Heehee...
Return home: Okay, my mum wasn't that mad at me for coming back late... Cause I had the sense this time to sms her and then call her when I was at Somerset-- ^^; But when I came home, I got darn pissed off.
Idiot: Okay, some IDIOT in my class kept insulting cosplay and kept complaining about how BORING yesterday's event was. And how he said he wasted 24 bucks cause he paid for his friend too. I scolded him off and told him not to insult cosplay in front of me, but he had the bloody guts to tell me no and that he WANTS to insult it in front of me. LIKE WHAT THE FREAK!!! IF YOU HAVE NO BLOODY INTEREST IN COSPLAY OR ANIME OR MANGA YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE GONE IN THE FIRST PLACE!! I DIDN'T ASK YOU TO SO THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NO REASON FOR YOU TO BLAME ME!!
You know what he's doing? It's like... picture this. A japanese food hater goes to a Japanese restaurant, pays quite a bit for the food, _eats_ the food, leaves the place, and goes to a Japanese food lover and starts flaming the restaurant, even though the food was good. Like DUH!! If you're going to act stupid and BE stupid, I have EVERY RIGHT to call you STUPID. And if you're going to be childish, untactful, rude and stupid all at once, I have the right to ignore you too. So bloody SHUT UP!!
Phew: Okay, I feel so much better. If that person sees this, he'll know I'm referring to him. Okay, that's it about my day~ Ranting post, I know ^^
Signing off...
AsuCaga photoshoot: Today I went for Skye and Kazeki's Athrun and Cagalli photoshoot~ Made new friends with Kazeki and Aiko~ ^^ Great people~ The photoshoot was really fun, but we did a heck lot of walking around Sentosa-- Couldn't get many good shots... =( But well. It was fun ^^ Aiko, David, Auel and I were the photographers, and Senti was the bag-carrier ^^;; Heheh...
Dinner: Then we came back to the mainland to eat dinner at Yoshinoya... Then we went to Taka to get Kazeki and Aiko their paint before they return to Malaysia tomorrow... Then guess what? Art Friends was CLOSED! Ah well... Then we headed down to Somerset and visited Inu at AA. I finally know where AA is!! ^^;;; Heehee...
Return home: Okay, my mum wasn't that mad at me for coming back late... Cause I had the sense this time to sms her and then call her when I was at Somerset-- ^^; But when I came home, I got darn pissed off.
Idiot: Okay, some IDIOT in my class kept insulting cosplay and kept complaining about how BORING yesterday's event was. And how he said he wasted 24 bucks cause he paid for his friend too. I scolded him off and told him not to insult cosplay in front of me, but he had the bloody guts to tell me no and that he WANTS to insult it in front of me. LIKE WHAT THE FREAK!!! IF YOU HAVE NO BLOODY INTEREST IN COSPLAY OR ANIME OR MANGA YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE GONE IN THE FIRST PLACE!! I DIDN'T ASK YOU TO SO THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NO REASON FOR YOU TO BLAME ME!!
You know what he's doing? It's like... picture this. A japanese food hater goes to a Japanese restaurant, pays quite a bit for the food, _eats_ the food, leaves the place, and goes to a Japanese food lover and starts flaming the restaurant, even though the food was good. Like DUH!! If you're going to act stupid and BE stupid, I have EVERY RIGHT to call you STUPID. And if you're going to be childish, untactful, rude and stupid all at once, I have the right to ignore you too. So bloody SHUT UP!!
Phew: Okay, I feel so much better. If that person sees this, he'll know I'm referring to him. Okay, that's it about my day~ Ranting post, I know ^^
Signing off...
Some piccys for EOY
Some cosplay piccys from EOY 2005:
Skye-- Doesn't the dress look pretty? Shtupid Haro kept making weird noises ^^;;
Skye-- Doesn't the dress look pretty? Shtupid Haro kept making weird noises ^^;;
Aww~ Heheh... Kira and Cagalli~ Don't they look cute together? And that's Lynette in the background!!
Lynette as Misa from Deathnote~~ Front View ;)
Hm, the pic speaks for itself: Amanda ^^;
Pretty Lacus and Kira~ ^^
Ichigo trying to chop Kon's nose off-
Kon looks confused...
Ouch.
The Ritsuka that took me pretty long to remember ^^;;
Got a weee bit of fanservice from Fuji and Tezuka. Had great timing-- Was there when their team members forced them to fanservice for us ;) Except... err, the glasses are on the wrong person? ^^;; But still sweet~!!
YESH THE GREAT KADAJ AND YAZOO!!!
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWww!!!!! DON'T THEY LOOK GOOD TOGETHER?
*coughs* Well. This was... hm. ^^;;; At least they got second for pair ;)
Saturday, 10 December 2005
EOY 2005
EOY 2005 WAS TODAY!! ^^
Thanks: Very importantly, I want to thank a few people for helping me out so much-- Firstly, SKYE!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR HELPING ME DRAW IT LOOKED FABULOUS!! And also for the candy cane~ Heehee ;) Next would be... Amanda and Ang and Lynette and Mandy~ For helping me with the makeup and my costume before the thing-- Then... Clarence-- For helping my buy the Lily at the very last minute-- Yepz-- ^_^ Love you guys loads~
Event: Yesh, well... I was one-third trying to stay with Clarence, one-third trying to stay with my friends, and one-third being myself and snapping and going crazy and fangirling. ^^ It was.. well. To tell you the truth, not as fun as I thought. Not that it wasn't fun, it just... lacked something. Maybe it was because I wasn't with Skye most of the time, or maybe it was because I didn't hang out with the bunch of cosplayers I knew, or maybe it was because I didn't make any new friends-- I dunno...
Next time, I'm joining a group. I find it more fun when you're in a group and you have a place to return to, hang around a lot, stay around to help with and receive help from when preparing for the event, and go out for dinner after the event. This time, Well. Needless to say about half wasn't fulfilled-- *sigh* Ah well. But it was great fun anyway~ ^^
And oh yes!! I saw Grace today~~ ^^ *bounces around* She looked slightly different~ And everyone looked great! Especially Skye and Inu and *coughs* The bishies ;)
Stalking: No, not me... ^^;;; Mandy and Lynette went around stalking people and taking photos of them~ ^^;; Heheh... It was amusing to see their photos~ Lynette in the foreground and the target in the background. It was funny~ ^^ And then Amanda told their first target that they were stalking them (cause the target was Himu) and they had to change their target to the top-hat guy~ Heheh...
Mi costume: One bad thing about my costume? MY WIG WAS BROWN. Ya. And really, Yukino should have a haircut. Darn wig got entangled and everything... Wah. But by lord there was a RITSUKA!! AND FFAC!! And-- *goes on to rants*
Rants: It actually took me almost an hour to realise why the character looked SO FAMILIAR. And why? CAUSE HE WAS RITSUKA FROM LOVELESS!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE I WAS SO DENSE!! Then we talked a wee bit... And I said like one line to the Kawachi from Yakitate! Japan- Heheh... But didn't exchange contacts or anything... Ah well.
And most importantly........ KADAJxYAZOO!!! OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!! *goes into fangirl mode* KADAJ PLACED HIS (or her) HAND ON YAZOO'S BUTT!! AND WAHHHHH OMG I SHOULD HAVE ASKED FOR FANSERVICE!!!! TOTALLY went trigger-happy around them and got all fangirly and everything-- OMG I think I melted... ^^;;;
Well, on the whole the event was rather fun~~ Loved hearing Skye sing up there~ =^^=
Signing off......
Thanks: Very importantly, I want to thank a few people for helping me out so much-- Firstly, SKYE!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR HELPING ME DRAW IT LOOKED FABULOUS!! And also for the candy cane~ Heehee ;) Next would be... Amanda and Ang and Lynette and Mandy~ For helping me with the makeup and my costume before the thing-- Then... Clarence-- For helping my buy the Lily at the very last minute-- Yepz-- ^_^ Love you guys loads~
Event: Yesh, well... I was one-third trying to stay with Clarence, one-third trying to stay with my friends, and one-third being myself and snapping and going crazy and fangirling. ^^ It was.. well. To tell you the truth, not as fun as I thought. Not that it wasn't fun, it just... lacked something. Maybe it was because I wasn't with Skye most of the time, or maybe it was because I didn't hang out with the bunch of cosplayers I knew, or maybe it was because I didn't make any new friends-- I dunno...
Next time, I'm joining a group. I find it more fun when you're in a group and you have a place to return to, hang around a lot, stay around to help with and receive help from when preparing for the event, and go out for dinner after the event. This time, Well. Needless to say about half wasn't fulfilled-- *sigh* Ah well. But it was great fun anyway~ ^^
And oh yes!! I saw Grace today~~ ^^ *bounces around* She looked slightly different~ And everyone looked great! Especially Skye and Inu and *coughs* The bishies ;)
Stalking: No, not me... ^^;;; Mandy and Lynette went around stalking people and taking photos of them~ ^^;; Heheh... It was amusing to see their photos~ Lynette in the foreground and the target in the background. It was funny~ ^^ And then Amanda told their first target that they were stalking them (cause the target was Himu) and they had to change their target to the top-hat guy~ Heheh...
Mi costume: One bad thing about my costume? MY WIG WAS BROWN. Ya. And really, Yukino should have a haircut. Darn wig got entangled and everything... Wah. But by lord there was a RITSUKA!! AND FFAC!! And-- *goes on to rants*
Rants: It actually took me almost an hour to realise why the character looked SO FAMILIAR. And why? CAUSE HE WAS RITSUKA FROM LOVELESS!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE I WAS SO DENSE!! Then we talked a wee bit... And I said like one line to the Kawachi from Yakitate! Japan- Heheh... But didn't exchange contacts or anything... Ah well.
And most importantly........ KADAJxYAZOO!!! OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!! *goes into fangirl mode* KADAJ PLACED HIS (or her) HAND ON YAZOO'S BUTT!! AND WAHHHHH OMG I SHOULD HAVE ASKED FOR FANSERVICE!!!! TOTALLY went trigger-happy around them and got all fangirly and everything-- OMG I think I melted... ^^;;;
Well, on the whole the event was rather fun~~ Loved hearing Skye sing up there~ =^^=
Signing off......
Sunday, 27 November 2005
Would-have-been-Chill
Okay, this is basically just a ranting post......
!Chill@SP: Okay, the rhombus was _supposed_ to go together, but it was cancelled... Heavily disappointed... but that's another story. I went to the STAC forum (okay, Skye, don't kill me.... I was just looking for pics!!) and found some pics taken at the cosplay at !Chill. Okay, considering I kept seeing the same faces in the pics, I suppose there weren't _that_ many cosplayers... BUT ONE OF THEM OWNED A KATANA!!! LIKE WAH! I _could_ have stolen it and taken a pic for my assignment... but... Ah well. Sigh, I wish I could have forseen the cancellation on friday... Then I would have walked around myself instead of forcing myself not to. ... And I'm whining again...
Continuing on with what was at !Chill, I saw the bazzar at the plaza on friday before I left~ There were SO MUCH NICE FOOD!!! I saw the Snow Ice thing being sold, and takopachi, and durian pancakes (I managed to taste a small sample ;)) and a LOT of other nice food!! *drools* Then there were other stalls selling miscellenous stuff... And I know my friend in choir (guy) was performing too-- There were like free drinks given out (My club members were in charge of that so I got one can too ^^) and cosplay and stuff--
There was supposed to be a kimono demo where we can learn how to wear a yukata and stuff-- And a tea ceremony thing... Darn cool.
Pre-registration successful!: On the bright side, since I didn't manage to go for the !Chill thing, I could go for the EOY pre-registration~ (End-of-year cosplay, for those who don't know what EOY is) Went with Skye, Senti and Joe (yeah, got to know someone new! ^^) Saw Eden and this bunch of other people and had quite a lot of fun~ ^^ Now all I have to worry about is finishing my Yukino costume in time for EOY- Things left: Obi, big ribbon thingy at the back of my Obi, and the patterns on my kimono (Skye, I place my kimono in your hands-- Thanks for all your help!! ^^)
JLPT1 coming up: Okay... This is scary... I have.... 6 and a half more days before my JLPT1 EXAM!!! *freaks* I need to start studying and everything... But I've got a million assignments coming up ALL DUE THIS WEEK!!! And 2 meetings!! How am I going to manage this???!! *freaks even more* And my family is practically not giving me another choice but to pass... Can't take this much longer... That means that I'll have to cut myself off from any other human activity which is not necessary and try to mug... *cries* Wish me luck!! I'll need it.
Signing off......
!Chill@SP: Okay, the rhombus was _supposed_ to go together, but it was cancelled... Heavily disappointed... but that's another story. I went to the STAC forum (okay, Skye, don't kill me.... I was just looking for pics!!) and found some pics taken at the cosplay at !Chill. Okay, considering I kept seeing the same faces in the pics, I suppose there weren't _that_ many cosplayers... BUT ONE OF THEM OWNED A KATANA!!! LIKE WAH! I _could_ have stolen it and taken a pic for my assignment... but... Ah well. Sigh, I wish I could have forseen the cancellation on friday... Then I would have walked around myself instead of forcing myself not to. ... And I'm whining again...
Continuing on with what was at !Chill, I saw the bazzar at the plaza on friday before I left~ There were SO MUCH NICE FOOD!!! I saw the Snow Ice thing being sold, and takopachi, and durian pancakes (I managed to taste a small sample ;)) and a LOT of other nice food!! *drools* Then there were other stalls selling miscellenous stuff... And I know my friend in choir (guy) was performing too-- There were like free drinks given out (My club members were in charge of that so I got one can too ^^) and cosplay and stuff--
There was supposed to be a kimono demo where we can learn how to wear a yukata and stuff-- And a tea ceremony thing... Darn cool.
Pre-registration successful!: On the bright side, since I didn't manage to go for the !Chill thing, I could go for the EOY pre-registration~ (End-of-year cosplay, for those who don't know what EOY is) Went with Skye, Senti and Joe (yeah, got to know someone new! ^^) Saw Eden and this bunch of other people and had quite a lot of fun~ ^^ Now all I have to worry about is finishing my Yukino costume in time for EOY- Things left: Obi, big ribbon thingy at the back of my Obi, and the patterns on my kimono (Skye, I place my kimono in your hands-- Thanks for all your help!! ^^)
JLPT1 coming up: Okay... This is scary... I have.... 6 and a half more days before my JLPT1 EXAM!!! *freaks* I need to start studying and everything... But I've got a million assignments coming up ALL DUE THIS WEEK!!! And 2 meetings!! How am I going to manage this???!! *freaks even more* And my family is practically not giving me another choice but to pass... Can't take this much longer... That means that I'll have to cut myself off from any other human activity which is not necessary and try to mug... *cries* Wish me luck!! I'll need it.
Signing off......
Thursday, 10 November 2005
Bad to worse
Hey all!! ^^;; Yep! *walks through cobwebs and brushes them off* I'm back, again. ^^ Ah well. There's been a lot of stuff... but if I were to talk about them all I'll like flood the entire place... so... I ended up writing this in class instead... ^^;; I know it's very haphazard, as usual... but... *sigh* Whatever...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
5 o'clock, 6 o'clock, 7 o'clock.
Quiet,
in a corner
Listening.
Smiles, Laughter and
Enjoyment--
"Talk more!"
7 o'clock, 8 o'clock, 9 o'clock.
Inssistent chatter,
with futile efforts to enter conversation.
Laughter, Smiles and
a slight Frown.
Disappointment--
"..."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Some rambles...
School teacher: OMG one of my tutors is a former SC girl!!! @.@ And she's like really cool-- Was a director before, and one of the FEW tutors I feel comfortable listening to~ =)=) But err... *coughs* I was slightly scared of her ^^;; When it was my turn to say something I froze up totally even though I knew what I was going to say. 3 little words. And she heard something different cause of my freeze-up. =( Wahhh I'll never be able to face this world again!!
And I'm so glad to say she's not homophobic ;) Liberal, yeah.
GOF: YEAH YEAH YEAH 1 MORE WEEK!!!! *bounces around* I'm going with Ying Ying to watch it after school-- (which is like rather late... but WHO CARES!! IT'S GOF!!!)
Signing off... ...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
5 o'clock, 6 o'clock, 7 o'clock.
Quiet,
in a corner
Listening.
Smiles, Laughter and
Enjoyment--
"Talk more!"
7 o'clock, 8 o'clock, 9 o'clock.
Inssistent chatter,
with futile efforts to enter conversation.
Laughter, Smiles and
a slight Frown.
Disappointment--
"..."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Some rambles...
School teacher: OMG one of my tutors is a former SC girl!!! @.@ And she's like really cool-- Was a director before, and one of the FEW tutors I feel comfortable listening to~ =)=) But err... *coughs* I was slightly scared of her ^^;; When it was my turn to say something I froze up totally even though I knew what I was going to say. 3 little words. And she heard something different cause of my freeze-up. =( Wahhh I'll never be able to face this world again!!
And I'm so glad to say she's not homophobic ;) Liberal, yeah.
GOF: YEAH YEAH YEAH 1 MORE WEEK!!!! *bounces around* I'm going with Ying Ying to watch it after school-- (which is like rather late... but WHO CARES!! IT'S GOF!!!)
Signing off... ...
Tuesday, 27 September 2005
Chameleon
Wandering aimlessly...
Green against the leaves...
Brown against bark...
Yellow against withering leaves...
Smooth transitions.
Brown against wood..
White against walls..
Grey against the gravel path..
Occasional hitches.
A mix of blue and yellow against the curtains,
A mix of red and yellow against the biscuit tin,
A mix of blue and grey against the newspapers,
Confusion.
Blue against the Gardenia packaging
White against the monitor screen
Brown against rainbow-coloured toys.
A scream.
Thrown out of the house,
Sharp pain as body collides with tiled flooring.
What colour was I again?
Signing off... ...
Green against the leaves...
Brown against bark...
Yellow against withering leaves...
Smooth transitions.
Brown against wood..
White against walls..
Grey against the gravel path..
Occasional hitches.
A mix of blue and yellow against the curtains,
A mix of red and yellow against the biscuit tin,
A mix of blue and grey against the newspapers,
Confusion.
Blue against the Gardenia packaging
White against the monitor screen
Brown against rainbow-coloured toys.
A scream.
Thrown out of the house,
Sharp pain as body collides with tiled flooring.
What colour was I again?
Signing off... ...
Thursday, 22 September 2005
Quick Update -- with poem
This is going to be just a very quick update on my latest... You may ignore this if you wish. =)
Advent Children: Yep, Advent Children's been out for quite a few days, and I think I've watched it quite a few times already... Really good movie, with great bishies, action and slashy parts. Not to mention the comic relief provided by Reno and Rude (some characters from the movie). I'm supposed to be studying for my exams, but hm. Well. You know, I always end up doing something else.
Exams: As I said, exams' here.... Trying to study... Need. To. Get. Distinctions. Else my hope to enter University will be much affected... Argh. Had my first exam today. Or yesterday, whatever. Wasn't as bad as expected. Managed to crap out answers for everything.
Bad friend: Okay, I can't believe I didn't asked someone to fill in his birthday for me into my birthday alarm account. And so I didn't realise his birthday passed!! Omg, 2 and a half months later I realise it. What sort of a friend am I?? Gosh.
Misc: 2 months and... what, 4 days? Till what? Till the release of the Globet of Fire of course!! ^^;; Told you I end up thinking of everything else when I start studying for my exams. Just now I had this sudden 'inspiration' (of sorts) and ended up writing something like a poem... If you're interested, click here to read it. The title... is, well, there 'cause of a lack of a better one.
Now, back to studying.
Signing off... ...
Advent Children: Yep, Advent Children's been out for quite a few days, and I think I've watched it quite a few times already... Really good movie, with great bishies, action and slashy parts. Not to mention the comic relief provided by Reno and Rude (some characters from the movie). I'm supposed to be studying for my exams, but hm. Well. You know, I always end up doing something else.
Exams: As I said, exams' here.... Trying to study... Need. To. Get. Distinctions. Else my hope to enter University will be much affected... Argh. Had my first exam today. Or yesterday, whatever. Wasn't as bad as expected. Managed to crap out answers for everything.
Bad friend: Okay, I can't believe I didn't asked someone to fill in his birthday for me into my birthday alarm account. And so I didn't realise his birthday passed!! Omg, 2 and a half months later I realise it. What sort of a friend am I?? Gosh.
Misc: 2 months and... what, 4 days? Till what? Till the release of the Globet of Fire of course!! ^^;; Told you I end up thinking of everything else when I start studying for my exams. Just now I had this sudden 'inspiration' (of sorts) and ended up writing something like a poem... If you're interested, click here to read it. The title... is, well, there 'cause of a lack of a better one.
Now, back to studying.
Signing off... ...
Saturday, 17 September 2005
Insides, outsides
Hey! I know it's been ages since I last updated... ^^;;; I thought that this blog will be filled with cobwebs soon.... but 'manda bugged me to update this afternoon =P Yep, so I'm updating.
Comments from classmates: Okay, this is something that kinda bothered me... Recently there have been quite a few classmates (obviously guys) who have been commenting about my dressing. Not in a good way, of course. There's this workshop on dressing coming up during the holidays, and some of the guys (the ones I'm closer to) have been telling me that I should really go for that course cause I need it. Okay, I know I don't dress up well, but hey, there's no need to be that blunt!
Inside, outside: There's this phrase in Japanese: "Gaiken yori nakami" [外見より中身] which basically means that your insides (character, personality) are more important than your outsides (looks). Which I agree with wholeheartedly. I've never bothered myself with my looks. Hey, look at me. Since young my mum was the one who bought my clothes, and it's always been the same. Black pants with a T-shirt, socks and sport shoes. I've never given it much thought. Until recently, of course, when I started to get myself a few tops. Just those few.
Looks: I know I've never been a master at dressing... but after those comments I guess I've started to think a little... Given that I'm also growing up. Is dressing up really so important? I mean, I don't look that bad till you feel like laughing or puking when you see me, right? ... Or do I? Then when I went for my japanese class, I talked to a classmate about it... And they gave me comments. All said the same thing. Yes, dressing is important. They said more, but basically that's the gist. And I suppose it somewhat got the point across.
But it's been the same for me for the last 16, no, 17 years of my life. It'll be so embarassing and uncomfortable to change all of a sudden. My friends would know about my low self-esteem... You put me in something totally new, and I freak. I'll start paying more attention to what others think and every comment will strike me hard. I don't know. Should I? Maybe I'll go shopping one day during my holidays...?
Me, inside: I remember what Andrea used to say... "You're too nice! That's why everyone takes advantage of you!" and everytime I'll shrink and go "no, I'm not..." Well, maybe if I do think of myself in a third-person perspective, I agree I that I get taken advantage of, some of the time, all the more so in poly. But am I really 'too nice'? I didn't think so. Or maybe I'm only thinking like that 'cause it's just the me now. With Poly, my defences have gone up a LOT. I get defensive, violent and irritable whenever someone comments on me, be it nasty, nice, or whatever. I've been getting more sceptical than ever, and I know it. But I can't seem to help it... =(
Changes: It might be because they're guys. It's so different from when I'm talking to girls. Back in SC, everyone is so nice, and I guess I can afford to be timid and myself. Then now, a mask slips readily into place and... I don't really know... My Business Chinese class used to be my life buoy in poly. It was one of the ONLY places I could be myself. Then, a few days ago, I met my classmate after my class when I was talking with my Business Chinese classmates. The result was rather disastrous. The overlap was so drastic that I didn't really know how to act. It was scary, to say the least. And the worst thing is... The Business Chinese days are over. Over. Omg. They're over. I won't get to hang out with the guys and girls in my class anymore. ... The thought is rather terrifying.
Birthdays: Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ALL SEPTEMBER BABIES!! Heheh, I'm lazy, aren't I. But oh gosh, there are SO many of my close friends' birthdays this month. Deone, Momo, Amanda, Meiling, Jazzy... and there are more people whom I'm not close to whose birthdays fall in Sept too. Ah well. Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY again to all of you! ^_^ Heheh...
Btw, I did one of those 'angel' quizzes from Lynette's blog for the fun of it. ^^;; I don't know... is the result really me?
you are a light angel, you are peacful and
giving.you like to make others smile and happy.
as the white angel you care for other more than
your self. you are a total opposite of the dark
angel. you should pay attention to your self
once in blue moon, but never stop giviong.
people like you can make a peaceful world. you
are very likable, in other words it's easy to
make friends. you are unique, there aren't many
like you. good job ;)
what kind of angel suits you the best(cool anime pics)
brought to you by Quizilla
Signing off... ...
Comments from classmates: Okay, this is something that kinda bothered me... Recently there have been quite a few classmates (obviously guys) who have been commenting about my dressing. Not in a good way, of course. There's this workshop on dressing coming up during the holidays, and some of the guys (the ones I'm closer to) have been telling me that I should really go for that course cause I need it. Okay, I know I don't dress up well, but hey, there's no need to be that blunt!
Inside, outside: There's this phrase in Japanese: "Gaiken yori nakami" [外見より中身] which basically means that your insides (character, personality) are more important than your outsides (looks). Which I agree with wholeheartedly. I've never bothered myself with my looks. Hey, look at me. Since young my mum was the one who bought my clothes, and it's always been the same. Black pants with a T-shirt, socks and sport shoes. I've never given it much thought. Until recently, of course, when I started to get myself a few tops. Just those few.
Looks: I know I've never been a master at dressing... but after those comments I guess I've started to think a little... Given that I'm also growing up. Is dressing up really so important? I mean, I don't look that bad till you feel like laughing or puking when you see me, right? ... Or do I? Then when I went for my japanese class, I talked to a classmate about it... And they gave me comments. All said the same thing. Yes, dressing is important. They said more, but basically that's the gist. And I suppose it somewhat got the point across.
But it's been the same for me for the last 16, no, 17 years of my life. It'll be so embarassing and uncomfortable to change all of a sudden. My friends would know about my low self-esteem... You put me in something totally new, and I freak. I'll start paying more attention to what others think and every comment will strike me hard. I don't know. Should I? Maybe I'll go shopping one day during my holidays...?
Me, inside: I remember what Andrea used to say... "You're too nice! That's why everyone takes advantage of you!" and everytime I'll shrink and go "no, I'm not..." Well, maybe if I do think of myself in a third-person perspective, I agree I that I get taken advantage of, some of the time, all the more so in poly. But am I really 'too nice'? I didn't think so. Or maybe I'm only thinking like that 'cause it's just the me now. With Poly, my defences have gone up a LOT. I get defensive, violent and irritable whenever someone comments on me, be it nasty, nice, or whatever. I've been getting more sceptical than ever, and I know it. But I can't seem to help it... =(
Changes: It might be because they're guys. It's so different from when I'm talking to girls. Back in SC, everyone is so nice, and I guess I can afford to be timid and myself. Then now, a mask slips readily into place and... I don't really know... My Business Chinese class used to be my life buoy in poly. It was one of the ONLY places I could be myself. Then, a few days ago, I met my classmate after my class when I was talking with my Business Chinese classmates. The result was rather disastrous. The overlap was so drastic that I didn't really know how to act. It was scary, to say the least. And the worst thing is... The Business Chinese days are over. Over. Omg. They're over. I won't get to hang out with the guys and girls in my class anymore. ... The thought is rather terrifying.
Birthdays: Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ALL SEPTEMBER BABIES!! Heheh, I'm lazy, aren't I. But oh gosh, there are SO many of my close friends' birthdays this month. Deone, Momo, Amanda, Meiling, Jazzy... and there are more people whom I'm not close to whose birthdays fall in Sept too. Ah well. Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY again to all of you! ^_^ Heheh...
Btw, I did one of those 'angel' quizzes from Lynette's blog for the fun of it. ^^;; I don't know... is the result really me?
you are a light angel, you are peacful and
giving.you like to make others smile and happy.
as the white angel you care for other more than
your self. you are a total opposite of the dark
angel. you should pay attention to your self
once in blue moon, but never stop giviong.
people like you can make a peaceful world. you
are very likable, in other words it's easy to
make friends. you are unique, there aren't many
like you. good job ;)
what kind of angel suits you the best(cool anime pics)
brought to you by Quizilla
Signing off... ...
Wednesday, 17 August 2005
The betraying of trust
I can't believe this. I deleted my previous post, which was filled with all my frustrations and well. Stuff. For someone. Whatever happened to freedom of speech? *sigh* Never mind...
I was forming my entry in my mind on my way home today but I think everything disappeared after I went out with my dad just now... ='( Never mind, I'll just write an entry anyway.
The incident today: I was trying to take some pictures of my friends today, while I was walking towards the MRT station with them. Two of them started acting cute and gay, so I took my camera out, ran in front of them, and snapped. It was a good picture, and it was cute, so I was pretty happy. (Mind you, they knew I was going to take a picture of them anyway) and then one of them asked whether he could see the photo. I passed the camera to him, then suddenly heard "I delete ar!" from behind me. I quickly turned around and shouted "NO!" at him rather loudly. I saw him make to press the delete button anyway and I started wrestling with him.
When I got it back, I realised that he had already deleted it. That got me pissed. I mean, it's not the photo that got me entirely pissed, it was the lack of respect for me as a person, and the lack of consideration for a _friend_. And at the beginning of the year he told me he'd take me as a one. What rubbish.
Lack of respect and consideration: This wasn't the first time. Ever since I knew him he has been telling me nothing but lies, playing with my emotions and using his words to control me. What I hated was that he said he was my FRIEND but he's hitting ALL my weak points anyway. He knows I don't know how to retort and handle all the 'suan'ing, but he does it anyway. What a friend.
I knew he was like that, but I trusted that he'd know his limits and not mess around with my things without my permission. _That's_ why I passed the camera to him. But NO!! He betrayed my trust, messed around with my pictures and deleted whatever he wanted. What happened to giving ME control over my own things? He asked me whether he could delete it. But if he was going to delete it ANYWAY regardless of my reply then it's equivalent to not asking at all. And it's plain RUDE, INCONSIDERATE, and DISRESPECTFUL. But no, I don't think he knows. Either that, or those words just aren't in his dictionary.
Look at it this way, before knowing them, NONE of my friends would have done such a thing. If they saw me reacting that violently to the idea of deleting it, they'd play around a bit but they wouldn't delete it. I believe that even the rest of the class wouldn't have deleted it. And I thought he was decent. Whole lot of rubbish. Decent, my ass.
It wasn't just the picture. It was a whole lot more when he did what he did.
OOPG: I don't really know what's going on, but everyone's been asking for my assignment codes. I mean, what for! I'm not even doing it the way the teacher wants it!! I'm happy doing it my way and I don't want anyone to COPY! But they don't wan't to listen to all that. They want to get it from me and circulate it around so everyone will get a copy. HELLO!!! I'm not even doing it the way the teacher wants it. It'll be DAMN obvious if they copied!! They don't care, do they. The penalty for copying is quite harsh. They ALL know that. But they don't care. No one does. They just think that if I get good marks and they copy, they'll get the good marks too. No one's counting on themselves. Except perhaps a rare few.
We can group up in pairs for the assignment, but it looks like I only have two choices -- either pair up with Chelsea or do it myself. I'm not doing it with anyone else. I don't trust that they'd keep it to themselves. The only one I thought was pretty decent dared to tell me that he'd pass it to his friend, who'd circulate it everywhere.
And really. almost all of them said they don't understand my codes. Then why bother to even use it?? Crazy bunch of people, the lot of them.
More CHOCO: Okay, enough frustrations for a day. Let's talk about HAPPIER things ^_^ I made choco last weekend, and my friends said it was good. So did my mum and bro. I just came back from buying more baking choco with my dad, and my mum said she got the chocolate moulds for me already. That means.... MORE CHOCO MAKING!!! ^_^ I'm planning to distribute the chocos to my friends and stuff next, next monday. Which means I probably have to wait till next week to cook em.
But... I can't wait any longer.... it's just so fun!! ^_^ And I heard it's pretty good... and I want to try more... some _person_ in my class keeps wanting to eat my choco and he was the ONLY one I gave 2 pieces to. And he still dared to demand for more the next day, even though I told him I didn't have any left. Argh. Anyway... Hm. You know what, I think I may just make the chocolate anyway this week ;) Whee~~~ =P
Signing off......
I was forming my entry in my mind on my way home today but I think everything disappeared after I went out with my dad just now... ='( Never mind, I'll just write an entry anyway.
The incident today: I was trying to take some pictures of my friends today, while I was walking towards the MRT station with them. Two of them started acting cute and gay, so I took my camera out, ran in front of them, and snapped. It was a good picture, and it was cute, so I was pretty happy. (Mind you, they knew I was going to take a picture of them anyway) and then one of them asked whether he could see the photo. I passed the camera to him, then suddenly heard "I delete ar!" from behind me. I quickly turned around and shouted "NO!" at him rather loudly. I saw him make to press the delete button anyway and I started wrestling with him.
When I got it back, I realised that he had already deleted it. That got me pissed. I mean, it's not the photo that got me entirely pissed, it was the lack of respect for me as a person, and the lack of consideration for a _friend_. And at the beginning of the year he told me he'd take me as a one. What rubbish.
Lack of respect and consideration: This wasn't the first time. Ever since I knew him he has been telling me nothing but lies, playing with my emotions and using his words to control me. What I hated was that he said he was my FRIEND but he's hitting ALL my weak points anyway. He knows I don't know how to retort and handle all the 'suan'ing, but he does it anyway. What a friend.
I knew he was like that, but I trusted that he'd know his limits and not mess around with my things without my permission. _That's_ why I passed the camera to him. But NO!! He betrayed my trust, messed around with my pictures and deleted whatever he wanted. What happened to giving ME control over my own things? He asked me whether he could delete it. But if he was going to delete it ANYWAY regardless of my reply then it's equivalent to not asking at all. And it's plain RUDE, INCONSIDERATE, and DISRESPECTFUL. But no, I don't think he knows. Either that, or those words just aren't in his dictionary.
Look at it this way, before knowing them, NONE of my friends would have done such a thing. If they saw me reacting that violently to the idea of deleting it, they'd play around a bit but they wouldn't delete it. I believe that even the rest of the class wouldn't have deleted it. And I thought he was decent. Whole lot of rubbish. Decent, my ass.
It wasn't just the picture. It was a whole lot more when he did what he did.
OOPG: I don't really know what's going on, but everyone's been asking for my assignment codes. I mean, what for! I'm not even doing it the way the teacher wants it!! I'm happy doing it my way and I don't want anyone to COPY! But they don't wan't to listen to all that. They want to get it from me and circulate it around so everyone will get a copy. HELLO!!! I'm not even doing it the way the teacher wants it. It'll be DAMN obvious if they copied!! They don't care, do they. The penalty for copying is quite harsh. They ALL know that. But they don't care. No one does. They just think that if I get good marks and they copy, they'll get the good marks too. No one's counting on themselves. Except perhaps a rare few.
We can group up in pairs for the assignment, but it looks like I only have two choices -- either pair up with Chelsea or do it myself. I'm not doing it with anyone else. I don't trust that they'd keep it to themselves. The only one I thought was pretty decent dared to tell me that he'd pass it to his friend, who'd circulate it everywhere.
And really. almost all of them said they don't understand my codes. Then why bother to even use it?? Crazy bunch of people, the lot of them.
More CHOCO: Okay, enough frustrations for a day. Let's talk about HAPPIER things ^_^ I made choco last weekend, and my friends said it was good. So did my mum and bro. I just came back from buying more baking choco with my dad, and my mum said she got the chocolate moulds for me already. That means.... MORE CHOCO MAKING!!! ^_^ I'm planning to distribute the chocos to my friends and stuff next, next monday. Which means I probably have to wait till next week to cook em.
But... I can't wait any longer.... it's just so fun!! ^_^ And I heard it's pretty good... and I want to try more... some _person_ in my class keeps wanting to eat my choco and he was the ONLY one I gave 2 pieces to. And he still dared to demand for more the next day, even though I told him I didn't have any left. Argh. Anyway... Hm. You know what, I think I may just make the chocolate anyway this week ;) Whee~~~ =P
Signing off......
Friday, 5 August 2005
Screwed, me.
You suck.
You know that, don't you?
...
What's the point of dominating?
... None.
Then why do you do it anyway?
... I don't know.
You know it irritates people, don't you?
... Yes.
Is that your point then, to irritate?
... No...
Then... why?
... I don't know...
Where's your control?
... Gone with the wind.
Excuses, excuses.
...
Enjoy annoying the heck out of everyone, do you.
... No...
You need to have control.
... I know...
Learn it.
... Yes...
Conquer yourself.
... I'll try.
You aren't trying.
... I will...
Start now.
... Yes, tomorrow...
Start now.
... Tonight, I reflect.
You aren't reflecting.
... Give me time... I'll change...
...
I'll try my best, I promise.
Remember: Over-confidence gives the impression of arrogance.
Signing off... ...
Interrogation; Jerkies aren't nice.
Friday, 22 July 2005
Apologies
This entry is for and about my current class DIT/1A/02, even though they'll probably not read it.
Apologies: Sorry, Derrick, Chelsea, Bo Sheng, Ceed, Wee Kwang, Daniel, Yong He and F4, for losing my temper so easily and scolding you guys. Basically, I'd like to apologise to EVERYONE I've pissed off or irritated the past few days. The stress is getting to me. The whole Shuwei thing, especially. Anything to do with that with that name is stressful. Everyone seems to be depending on me to do everything, and it's starting to get on my nerves.
CIP: There's the CIP thing for Character Development, where I've asked the WHOLE class to help me look information for, and only one person came up with something - that was total crap. Done by who? Who else will give me irrelevant crap and show it to the class? Shuwei, of course. Okay, I don't blame the rest of class. Most of them only knew about it really last minute. But those that are 'helping' go to a page with lots of links to different places (most of which have dead links) and copy and paste the link to me and ask it it's okay. ERM. I thought you were helping. Minimal, it seems.
TBCM: After much irritating and begging and godknowswhatelse, Shuwei is in my group for TBCM. And since it is Shuwei, the group is NEVER in the mood to discuss the work with him around. So... nothing has been done, and we're WAY behind time. Worst thing is, Shuwei DARED to blame and scold me for not doing anything. HELLO!!!! I was the ONLY one bugging the group once every five minutes to continue discussing. If you really thought that we weren't doing anything, why don't you INITIATE AND STOP BLAMING EVERYTHING ON ME!!! YOU SAY YOU'RE THE BLOODY CLASS REP AND DARE TO ANNOUNCE IT TO EVERYONE WHEN YOU DON'T DO ANYTHING! Oh god.
'Teasing': Shuwei has a nickname-- Energy. And the class likes to tease that I am with 'F4' and 'Energy'. Okay, F4 is fine, since I'm close to them and I know they won't take them seriously. But oh Gosh. Energy??? What an insult to the real group Energy man. BAD insult. And it's absolutely REVOLTING everytime they play the edited version of Energy's song and replace the name with Shuwei's, and say it's dedicated to me. More than once I felt like leaving the class, but no, I had to maintain control.
Schoolwork: Then there's practical. Many people in my class can't do the practical qns (which I suspect is because they don't listen during lecture, or just plain made careless mistakes) and end up asking me for help. I'll help, of course, and in the beginning I was like a third teacher, running around the entire lesson like the other two teachers. Then I started to put my foot down and scold some of my classmates due to the stress. I'm REALLY really sorry for that... It's just that... Running around and helping everyone during lesson just means that I don't have time to do the practical myself. And I'm lagging behind now.
Shuwei is starting to turn into a foul word. NEVER mention that name in front of me.
I'm about to break down soon. So much to do, so little time... The stress is overwhelming, and I'm starting to forget everything that I'm supposed to complete.
Aren't I glad that they don't know my blog...
Signing off... ...
Apologies: Sorry, Derrick, Chelsea, Bo Sheng, Ceed, Wee Kwang, Daniel, Yong He and F4, for losing my temper so easily and scolding you guys. Basically, I'd like to apologise to EVERYONE I've pissed off or irritated the past few days. The stress is getting to me. The whole Shuwei thing, especially. Anything to do with that with that name is stressful. Everyone seems to be depending on me to do everything, and it's starting to get on my nerves.
CIP: There's the CIP thing for Character Development, where I've asked the WHOLE class to help me look information for, and only one person came up with something - that was total crap. Done by who? Who else will give me irrelevant crap and show it to the class? Shuwei, of course. Okay, I don't blame the rest of class. Most of them only knew about it really last minute. But those that are 'helping' go to a page with lots of links to different places (most of which have dead links) and copy and paste the link to me and ask it it's okay. ERM. I thought you were helping. Minimal, it seems.
TBCM: After much irritating and begging and godknowswhatelse, Shuwei is in my group for TBCM. And since it is Shuwei, the group is NEVER in the mood to discuss the work with him around. So... nothing has been done, and we're WAY behind time. Worst thing is, Shuwei DARED to blame and scold me for not doing anything. HELLO!!!! I was the ONLY one bugging the group once every five minutes to continue discussing. If you really thought that we weren't doing anything, why don't you INITIATE AND STOP BLAMING EVERYTHING ON ME!!! YOU SAY YOU'RE THE BLOODY CLASS REP AND DARE TO ANNOUNCE IT TO EVERYONE WHEN YOU DON'T DO ANYTHING! Oh god.
'Teasing': Shuwei has a nickname-- Energy. And the class likes to tease that I am with 'F4' and 'Energy'. Okay, F4 is fine, since I'm close to them and I know they won't take them seriously. But oh Gosh. Energy??? What an insult to the real group Energy man. BAD insult. And it's absolutely REVOLTING everytime they play the edited version of Energy's song and replace the name with Shuwei's, and say it's dedicated to me. More than once I felt like leaving the class, but no, I had to maintain control.
Schoolwork: Then there's practical. Many people in my class can't do the practical qns (which I suspect is because they don't listen during lecture, or just plain made careless mistakes) and end up asking me for help. I'll help, of course, and in the beginning I was like a third teacher, running around the entire lesson like the other two teachers. Then I started to put my foot down and scold some of my classmates due to the stress. I'm REALLY really sorry for that... It's just that... Running around and helping everyone during lesson just means that I don't have time to do the practical myself. And I'm lagging behind now.
Shuwei is starting to turn into a foul word. NEVER mention that name in front of me.
I'm about to break down soon. So much to do, so little time... The stress is overwhelming, and I'm starting to forget everything that I'm supposed to complete.
Aren't I glad that they don't know my blog...
Signing off... ...
Friday, 1 July 2005
S9D outing
S9D outing: YEAH!! Today a group of us went out to the arcade together... and then ate dinner. There were people like Huiyong, William, Weida, Hui Xin, Meiling, Pei Yu and Wen Jun there... It was damn fun and enjoyable!! ^^ For the first time in AGES I really REALLY laughed. I laughed so hard and so long I could hardly eat my burger over dinner-- ^^ It's been SOOOOOOOooooo long since I last hanged out with them I was elated. Really missed them, so much. I can't wait for the next outing man. ^^
Arcade: I watched a few of them play several games (the one where there are three coloured buttons and you bang on them erratically in hope that you'll be the fastest, and the one where you hold this long thing in your hands and swing it about and use it as a sword to kill monsters.) I myself played Time Crisis 2 with Huiyong and the DDR thingy with William. ^^ Had lots and lots and lots of fun. We also crowded around a stupid machine and Hui Xin asked William to try and pick toys from the machine... Obviously, we failed to do so.
Dinner: Then Pei Yu, William and Huiyong left. Hui Xin actually left too, but at City Hall she decided to turn back and join us for dinner too ^^;;; Dinner was full of jokes and stuff, and we got someone to take a picture of the 5 of us left. ^_^ After dinner we walked around, window shopping and talking crap. That was basically my fun part of the day. Enjoyed myself tremendously. ^^ LOOKING FORWARD TO THE NEXT OUTING!!
Pei Yu and Meiling: Next time, you guys are gonna PLAY!! ^^ Maybe we can bang the stupid coloured buttons things together. =P
Signing off... ...
Arcade: I watched a few of them play several games (the one where there are three coloured buttons and you bang on them erratically in hope that you'll be the fastest, and the one where you hold this long thing in your hands and swing it about and use it as a sword to kill monsters.) I myself played Time Crisis 2 with Huiyong and the DDR thingy with William. ^^ Had lots and lots and lots of fun. We also crowded around a stupid machine and Hui Xin asked William to try and pick toys from the machine... Obviously, we failed to do so.
Dinner: Then Pei Yu, William and Huiyong left. Hui Xin actually left too, but at City Hall she decided to turn back and join us for dinner too ^^;;; Dinner was full of jokes and stuff, and we got someone to take a picture of the 5 of us left. ^_^ After dinner we walked around, window shopping and talking crap. That was basically my fun part of the day. Enjoyed myself tremendously. ^^ LOOKING FORWARD TO THE NEXT OUTING!!
Pei Yu and Meiling: Next time, you guys are gonna PLAY!! ^^ Maybe we can bang the stupid coloured buttons things together. =P
Signing off... ...
Wednesday, 29 June 2005
Low self-esteem
Low self-esteem: I hate my bloody freakin low self esteem. I mean, I never had that problem in JC when I was with my class or OG, especially not with my OG. And today when I went out with a group of friends... I don't know.. After returning, I felt that I had acted in a way that made everyone have a bad impression of me. Made everyone think I was weird and irritating and godknowswhatelse. It's pissing. And I don't dare ask anyone of them whether i did, cause I think i'd irritate them.
Fun day out: Well, other than that, the outing was fun~ ^^ The rest went to watch a movie, and I went home for a while. I calculated what time they would end... and well. Let's just say I calculated it right the first time, and just as I was about to leave the house, I managed to convince myself that 4 + 2 was 7. So I stayed for another hour. Oh god. And I made the whole group wait for me for almost an hour!!!!! It wasn't that good a day, but dinner was good. ^^ Talked to them, made a fool of myself, and took lots of pictures!! ^^ Basically it was the talking and the pictures that was fun. Other than that... hm. I shall keep my comments to myself.
By the way, angst is not 'ex' nor is it 'not nice'. Go check the dictionary.
Signing off... ...
Fun day out: Well, other than that, the outing was fun~ ^^ The rest went to watch a movie, and I went home for a while. I calculated what time they would end... and well. Let's just say I calculated it right the first time, and just as I was about to leave the house, I managed to convince myself that 4 + 2 was 7. So I stayed for another hour. Oh god. And I made the whole group wait for me for almost an hour!!!!! It wasn't that good a day, but dinner was good. ^^ Talked to them, made a fool of myself, and took lots of pictures!! ^^ Basically it was the talking and the pictures that was fun. Other than that... hm. I shall keep my comments to myself.
By the way, angst is not 'ex' nor is it 'not nice'. Go check the dictionary.
Signing off... ...
Saturday, 25 June 2005
Just some tests...
| Your IQ Is 105 |
 Your Logical Intelligence is Exceptional Your Verbal Intelligence is Above Average Your Mathematical Intelligence is Genius Your General Knowledge is Below Average |
The True You |
| You want your girlfriend or boyfriend to be more relaxed, calm, and composed. |
| With respect to money, you spend as little as possible. |
| You think good luck depends on maintaining good relationships with others. |
| The hidden side of your personality tends to be satisfied to care for things with a minimal amount of effort. |
| You are tend to think about others' feelings a lot, perhaps because you are so eager to be liked. |
| When it comes to finding a romantic partner, you don't have any particular type in mind, but you are inclined to look for someone who will say yes when you ask him / her out. |
Friday, 24 June 2005
FInally -- An update! ^^
It's been ages... hasn't it?
^^ Thanks to all who have been bugging me to update-- both on my tagboard and online. ^_^ It feels great to know that you guys still remember me- ^^
OG outing: Okkay... so I dunno what's going to happen to it. Sam said he'd organise one... and erm. *coughs* Let's just say that many people couldn't make it... so it was cancelled... Up till now there have been no updates to the status of the outing. Seems like we won't be having an outing after all... Wah. I really really REALLY want an outing... but with school and assignments and practicals and all... I really don't think I have the time to organise one... I'd help though. Everyone knows that. =^^=
CT outing: Hm. I'm supposed to organise that. ^^;;; And as I'm sure you can guess, it's been dormant. I haven't been able to find the time to organise it... and with all the term tests coming up for ALL the JC peeps... I think I can forget about it. No point sacrificing precious study time for an outing. EVERYONE, JIA YOU!! GAMBATTE!! ^^; Don't get yourself too stressed out and all... I'd like to see you all still in one piece after your mid-terms, k?
My school life: Well. My class wants an outing too. ^^;;;; So... *coughs* They wanted to watch Initial D initially... (no pun intended) but it was cancelled due to the fact that very few people wanted to go.
So let's count. Number of outings I was supposed to organise/help to organise: 3. Number of outings succeeded: 0. Whee. That's how accomplished I am. Ah well. Oh, and I forgot to mention... my camp group wants an outing too- I promised I'd help my GLs out with it.
Schoolwork: Fun so far, but I have this particular module called UWOS (Unix and Windows Operating Systems) Sounds fun? Err... Well. I thought I'd learn some cool stuff. All I've learnt so far is finding the Task Manager and closing applications. At least that's all I've caught during lesson. The teacher talks during lesson, as do the rest of us. In other words, no one listens. No one from my class, at least, and I'm no exception. I know, I know, bad student. Amanda's gonna have my head for not paying attention. So much for hoping to receive distinctions. Ah well, all hope's not lost yet.
Class stuff: My class? Nice bunch of people. Just that they... well. Tend to teach you all the wrong stuff. But they look out for me... So that's good. ^^ Love them anyway.
To all my SC and JC friends: WAhh!! I miss all of you... Hope we can finally find a time to go out together. ^^ *hopes*
Signing off... ...
^^ Thanks to all who have been bugging me to update-- both on my tagboard and online. ^_^ It feels great to know that you guys still remember me- ^^
OG outing: Okkay... so I dunno what's going to happen to it. Sam said he'd organise one... and erm. *coughs* Let's just say that many people couldn't make it... so it was cancelled... Up till now there have been no updates to the status of the outing. Seems like we won't be having an outing after all... Wah. I really really REALLY want an outing... but with school and assignments and practicals and all... I really don't think I have the time to organise one... I'd help though. Everyone knows that. =^^=
CT outing: Hm. I'm supposed to organise that. ^^;;; And as I'm sure you can guess, it's been dormant. I haven't been able to find the time to organise it... and with all the term tests coming up for ALL the JC peeps... I think I can forget about it. No point sacrificing precious study time for an outing. EVERYONE, JIA YOU!! GAMBATTE!! ^^; Don't get yourself too stressed out and all... I'd like to see you all still in one piece after your mid-terms, k?
My school life: Well. My class wants an outing too. ^^;;;; So... *coughs* They wanted to watch Initial D initially... (no pun intended) but it was cancelled due to the fact that very few people wanted to go.
So let's count. Number of outings I was supposed to organise/help to organise: 3. Number of outings succeeded: 0. Whee. That's how accomplished I am. Ah well. Oh, and I forgot to mention... my camp group wants an outing too- I promised I'd help my GLs out with it.
Schoolwork: Fun so far, but I have this particular module called UWOS (Unix and Windows Operating Systems) Sounds fun? Err... Well. I thought I'd learn some cool stuff. All I've learnt so far is finding the Task Manager and closing applications. At least that's all I've caught during lesson. The teacher talks during lesson, as do the rest of us. In other words, no one listens. No one from my class, at least, and I'm no exception. I know, I know, bad student. Amanda's gonna have my head for not paying attention. So much for hoping to receive distinctions. Ah well, all hope's not lost yet.
Class stuff: My class? Nice bunch of people. Just that they... well. Tend to teach you all the wrong stuff. But they look out for me... So that's good. ^^ Love them anyway.
To all my SC and JC friends: WAhh!! I miss all of you... Hope we can finally find a time to go out together. ^^ *hopes*
Signing off... ...
Friday, 27 May 2005
Hurt
I never thought that it'd be this hard...
Having no one with me in school.
It wouldn't be so bad if i made some really close friends...
But...
I didn't think it'd be this hard without a constant...
Pining... Yearning...
I'm bad at handling emotions
and expressing them.
I can't tell anyone about certain things...
It wouldn't have been so bad
but when a close friend tells me that whatever I'm percieving is wrong straight in my face without understanding the hidden emotions underneath...
It starts to hurt.
But I'm grateful to certain people too:
My friends who listen to me ramble (you guys know who you are)
and a particular person from poly...
though the person probably doesn't know that he (used generally) has helped me so much.
But I'm grateful.
Signing off... ...
P.S. This ain't no poem. Just an extremely haphazard entry.
Having no one with me in school.
It wouldn't be so bad if i made some really close friends...
But...
I didn't think it'd be this hard without a constant...
Pining... Yearning...
I'm bad at handling emotions
and expressing them.
I can't tell anyone about certain things...
It wouldn't have been so bad
but when a close friend tells me that whatever I'm percieving is wrong straight in my face without understanding the hidden emotions underneath...
It starts to hurt.
But I'm grateful to certain people too:
My friends who listen to me ramble (you guys know who you are)
and a particular person from poly...
though the person probably doesn't know that he (used generally) has helped me so much.
But I'm grateful.
Signing off... ...
P.S. This ain't no poem. Just an extremely haphazard entry.
Friday blues
Friday blues: Today we ended at a little past 12, and I SOOOOOOOOOOOOooooo wanted to go out with someone after that. Like with Hi-5 or my class or whatever. Everyone who knows me (especially my OG) would know that I tend to be extremely enthu over this kinda stuff. The group I was with for the games (something like treasure hunt) was SO un-enthu. Everyone just _refused_ to run, and took their time to stroll from one station to the next.
Coldness: "Oh darn, I forgot their names..." "Huh? I'm Winnie remember? And she's Ester" I laughed. "No no, I mean the rest of them." Both of them looked at me weirdly. "But you're not in the same course as them what." I could feel myself freeze. "Err... so?" I managed to say after some time, glad that my voice didn't sound rude.
Lunch? Or no: After the games I looked around for someone I knew. I heard that a few groups were going out for lunch, and I badly wanted to go with them. I mean, look, it's a bloody friday. and not even 1pm yet! I headed back to the room where our bags were and poked someone from Hi-5 on the arm. "Hey, have you gotten your EZ-link card yet?" I tried, hoping that I could get someone to at least accompany me to get my stupid EZlink. Unfortunately... "Yeah, but it's only valid starting on the 30th." "Oh, okay... Never mind then." Suddenly he shouted across me, "HEY,! Want to join us for lunch?" Just before that, I overheard that they were going with one of our seniors too. And he just screamed across me. Okay, like thank you very much. I know when I'm not wanted. So I took a step back, glanced around the room one more time, and walked out towards the lobby.
Sulk: I passed by quite a few people and heard quite a lot of people being invited to go out for lunch. I was like the only idiot walking, not towards somewhere for lunch, but home. I had to admit, I started to sulk. My OG would know... I mean, I used to ask everyone practically EVERYDAY whether they'd like to go out after school. Resulting in 10 outings in a single month. Now? Damnit. I even asked my GL when our Hi-5 outing would be, but she said "sometime next week, don't worry, I'll inform you." and she placed an arm on my shoulder." For the moment I felt somewhat comforted. But 'one week' sounded a long way away...
Idiocy: Okay, so I was feeling lonely and brooding over it as I walked out of the school. I was supposed to walk past the MRT station and to my bus stop to take a bus home, but I ended up walking INTO The MRT station. And I only realised after I scanned my card and went onto the platform. Like WHAT AN IDIOTIC THING TO DO!!! Right. So I got pissed. And I continued to feel down on the train, throughout the whole ride. The fact that there was an ACJC couple standing so close to each other right across me didn't really help things much. Then there were a few idiotic people who, the moment entered the train, stood right at the entrance, blocking anyone from coming in or going out. Why did I say they were idiots? Simple. Because there was a whole lot of space behind them and they refused to move it. dammit. Dont' people understand the words "Please allow passengers to alight first" or "plese move to the centre of the cabin"?? I mean, even if you didn't want to move to the centre, you could at least move to the back right? No one who has brains stands in the MIDDLE of the bloody doorway. Oh wait. I forgot. They don't _have_ brains.
What did I accomplish today?: Nothing. Absolutely nothing. No EZlink, no lunch. Ah well. ... I miss my OG and class...
Okay. I'm getting super harsh now. I'm sorry... I'm just very tired and pissed with myself and godknowswhatelse. I shall go off now.
Signing off... ...
Coldness: "Oh darn, I forgot their names..." "Huh? I'm Winnie remember? And she's Ester" I laughed. "No no, I mean the rest of them." Both of them looked at me weirdly. "But you're not in the same course as them what." I could feel myself freeze. "Err... so?" I managed to say after some time, glad that my voice didn't sound rude.
Lunch? Or no: After the games I looked around for someone I knew. I heard that a few groups were going out for lunch, and I badly wanted to go with them. I mean, look, it's a bloody friday. and not even 1pm yet! I headed back to the room where our bags were and poked someone from Hi-5 on the arm. "Hey, have you gotten your EZ-link card yet?" I tried, hoping that I could get someone to at least accompany me to get my stupid EZlink. Unfortunately... "Yeah, but it's only valid starting on the 30th." "Oh, okay... Never mind then." Suddenly he shouted across me, "HEY,
Sulk: I passed by quite a few people and heard quite a lot of people being invited to go out for lunch. I was like the only idiot walking, not towards somewhere for lunch, but home. I had to admit, I started to sulk. My OG would know... I mean, I used to ask everyone practically EVERYDAY whether they'd like to go out after school. Resulting in 10 outings in a single month. Now? Damnit. I even asked my GL when our Hi-5 outing would be, but she said "sometime next week, don't worry, I'll inform you." and she placed an arm on my shoulder." For the moment I felt somewhat comforted. But 'one week' sounded a long way away...
Idiocy: Okay, so I was feeling lonely and brooding over it as I walked out of the school. I was supposed to walk past the MRT station and to my bus stop to take a bus home, but I ended up walking INTO The MRT station. And I only realised after I scanned my card and went onto the platform. Like WHAT AN IDIOTIC THING TO DO!!! Right. So I got pissed. And I continued to feel down on the train, throughout the whole ride. The fact that there was an ACJC couple standing so close to each other right across me didn't really help things much. Then there were a few idiotic people who, the moment entered the train, stood right at the entrance, blocking anyone from coming in or going out. Why did I say they were idiots? Simple. Because there was a whole lot of space behind them and they refused to move it. dammit. Dont' people understand the words "Please allow passengers to alight first" or "plese move to the centre of the cabin"?? I mean, even if you didn't want to move to the centre, you could at least move to the back right? No one who has brains stands in the MIDDLE of the bloody doorway. Oh wait. I forgot. They don't _have_ brains.
What did I accomplish today?: Nothing. Absolutely nothing. No EZlink, no lunch. Ah well. ... I miss my OG and class...
Okay. I'm getting super harsh now. I'm sorry... I'm just very tired and pissed with myself and godknowswhatelse. I shall go off now.
Signing off... ...
Thursday, 26 May 2005
Poly stuff
Poly stuff: Oh god. If you thought that there was a sex divide in JC, poly's worse. My class only has 2 girls, but the girl likes to mix with the girls from our buddy class. Which means that there's this lot of girls walking around and refusing to part. If I don't join them, i'll be alone, so I have no choice but to follow. It's damn pissing, because they hardly mix around with the other guys, and when I talk to a guy or something, they (especially one of them) woul give me a look.
And sometimes when I lag a bit (like when people cut in front of me and I end up lagging behind), when I catch up with them one of the girls like to go 'looking at shuai ge right?' That's not bad enough. "You went for camp?? Oh, I know why! To look for shuai ge right?" ... "Why'd you come to poly then? Oh, wait, I know! To find shuai ge right?" Oh geez. She sounds like she _has_ to have the words 'shuai ge' in every sentence. And she says it _all_ the time. Argh. I had a bloody urge to like smack her or something. And she calls the fatter guys 'monsters'. Like how bloody shallow can one get? The worse part of it -- she's 20. Now _that's_ called immature.
As a result I hardly mixed around with my class. And it's bloody pissing.
Flag day: So... Today was flag day, and for reasons mentioned above, my class suggested I go with some girls cause I'd be the only one in the group who was a girl. In the end, I joined some of the Hi-5 members(my camp group) and 1A/04 freshies. It was fun. ^^ Especially with Felix, Bryan and Xiu Hui. Yong Xian was amusing too, sitting on the bench hald the time and still getting about the same amount in his tin as me. Felix liked to flirt with guys and girls alike and Bryan was so attractive that he didn't have to go to people -- people came to him. Thank goodness I still have Hi-5 during this time. ^^
Results for the day? I collected $11.05. How bloody pathetic is that man? I stick to what I thought for the past few years. Those who willingly go to orchard area to sell flags are idiots. And for a day, I was one. But at least I had fun while I was at it. ^-^
Signing off... ...
And sometimes when I lag a bit (like when people cut in front of me and I end up lagging behind), when I catch up with them one of the girls like to go 'looking at shuai ge right?' That's not bad enough. "You went for camp?? Oh, I know why! To look for shuai ge right?" ... "Why'd you come to poly then? Oh, wait, I know! To find shuai ge right?" Oh geez. She sounds like she _has_ to have the words 'shuai ge' in every sentence. And she says it _all_ the time. Argh. I had a bloody urge to like smack her or something. And she calls the fatter guys 'monsters'. Like how bloody shallow can one get? The worse part of it -- she's 20. Now _that's_ called immature.
As a result I hardly mixed around with my class. And it's bloody pissing.
Flag day: So... Today was flag day, and for reasons mentioned above, my class suggested I go with some girls cause I'd be the only one in the group who was a girl. In the end, I joined some of the Hi-5 members(my camp group) and 1A/04 freshies. It was fun. ^^ Especially with Felix, Bryan and Xiu Hui. Yong Xian was amusing too, sitting on the bench hald the time and still getting about the same amount in his tin as me. Felix liked to flirt with guys and girls alike and Bryan was so attractive that he didn't have to go to people -- people came to him. Thank goodness I still have Hi-5 during this time. ^^
Results for the day? I collected $11.05. How bloody pathetic is that man? I stick to what I thought for the past few years. Those who willingly go to orchard area to sell flags are idiots. And for a day, I was one. But at least I had fun while I was at it. ^-^
Signing off... ...
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