Beautiful Things

Lyrics of Beautiful Things, by Bobby Darin

The world is full of beautiful things
Butterfly wings, fairy tale kings
And each new day undoubtedly brings
Still more beautiful things.

The world abounds with many delights
Magical sights, fanciful flights
And those who dream on beautiful nights
Dream of beautiful things.

Beautiful days for sunshine lazin'
Beautiful skies and shores
Beautiful days when I can gaze in beautiful eyes
Like yours.

You wonder why the nightingale sings
Lovers have wings
People wear rings
The world is full of beautiful things
Beautiful people, too …
Beautiful people like you.

Beautiful days of sun-kissed showers
Beautiful sea-kissed breeze
Beautiful nights of moon-kissed hours
Beautiful dreams like these.

Our lives tick by like pendulum swings
Delicate things, butterfly wings
Life is full of beautiful things
Beautiful people, too …
Beautiful people like you.

----------------------------------------------------

Yepz! Just as it says ;) Another beautiful day coming up too mithinks- End of exams tomorrow ^_^ For those who are taking their exams too GOOD LUCK!!! For those who aren't... Well, good for you- Don't have to study >_< Heh.

Dance ramble: Okay, I went to download some dance podcasts (Dance sport too) and WAH fell in love all over again- ^^ Especially with the Standard dances (meaning dances like the waltz, quickstep, foxtrot etc...) BEAUTIFUL!!! Of course, err, it's beautiful when it's danced amazingly- Some got me yawning after a bit @.@ Erm... *coughs* ^^;; Of course I still like latin dance too (like the cha cha, rumba)

I knew about the song up there through dance too- It's a foxtrot song- Heard it at the JB competition and fell in love- *sighs dreamily* Updated the song on the media player on the left to play this song instead now ^^


Signing off... ...

Sighs and Re-contacting

Scary: This is terrible. The retorts and bursts that erupt in my head recently have been getting worse. It's just extremely scary to hear the kind of things I'm capable of saying when I'm scolding someone... In my head, at least... Hopefully my control is good enough to prevent it from coming out.

It's always just been emotions that indicate how I feel... and now words are starting to form... And I found that I _am_ capable of taking something from the past that was done to me and throwing it back at the person should there ever be a need to.

Sigh.

Scary.


Caged: Been feeling like that for some time now... -_-" Absolutely terrible. I found that everytime I want to say something, it'll go through my mind, and then I won't say it anymore even though it is what I feel. Even here, when it's my blog. My blog. -_-" Ah well. There are good things to it beside the bad ones that come with that, so... *shrugs*

Getting back in touch: This is absolutely amazing... I started sending forwarded messages to all sorts of friends recently when I found some in my phone when clearing my inbox... And the best thing is... Everyone got back to me in some way or another..! =D Even if it's not through sms, it may be through email, or tags or a call or something.

Love all of you guys. ^^ Helped me LOADS in lifting my spirits up when I needed it most. I am so glad I have you guys as friends ;)

Thanks a million..!



Signing off... ...

Anger and Stress stuff

Hmm... Came across this... ^^; Live happy and healthy~ >_< K, I know this is utter randomness but... *shrugs* And the first one doesn't say much... but ah well.

Funny thing I've noticed is that many say "avoid difficult people" in order to stay happy ^^; I guess that's quite true.. It does make your life much brighter... Thing is, these 'difficult people' end up being slightly alienated, don't they..? Hmm... But then again, it's through this alienation too that they (usually) find out that there's something they can improve on...

I found the pink clouds part funny ^^;; It's like *angry* *think pink clouds* Urgh. >_< I'd rather have nice white clouds to float on. ^^;;

Okay, darn. Enough nonsense. I should get back to studying.


Signing off... ...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anger

One of the most important areas in which a teenager needs training is in how to handle anger. Anger is normal and occurs in every human being. The problem is not the anger itself, but managing it. Recognize anger when it comes, understand the cause, express it appropriately, and resolve it properly. Inappropriate expressions of anger include physically harming another, using words that threaten to bring emotional damage to another, or showing disrespect.


Reduce Stress

Easier said than done, stress busters come in many forms. Some techniques recommended by experts are to think positive thoughts. Spend 30 minutes a day doing something you like. (i.e.,Soak in a hot tub; walk on the beach or in a park; read a good book; visit a friend; play with your dog; listen to soothing music; watch a funny movie. Get a massage, a facial or a haircut. Meditate. Count to ten before losing your temper or getting aggravated. Avoid difficult people when possible. Thought for the day: When seeing red, think pink clouds….then float on them.

Climate changes

Quick entry.

Cimate Change: Glaciers have shrunk and melted over the last who-knows-how many years... but it's getting worse now...

Three photographs, taken in 1912, 1968 and 2003, show how a glacier at Vernagtferner in Austria has shrunk. It lost over half a metre in thickness during 2005.

"But it is not the past that worries us, tremendously is the future. With the scenarios predicted, we will enter conditions which we have not seen in the past 10,000 years, and perhaps conditions which mankind has never experienced."

Which makes me wonder, it's no longer 'none of our business', as thought by most people, isn't it..? Shouldn't we be doing _something_ to help our Earth? The efforts of those who care at the moment will never be enough to stop whatever is happening.

Makes me feel really really sad though... That half the world doesn't care what the Earth becomes. Really do want to do something about this...

Climate change simulation thingy: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/shared/spl/hi/sci_nat/04/climate_change/html/climate.stm

Signing off... ...
Back to work

The Rainbow

The Rainbow

The still night air
Cools
Beyond normal temperatures,
Causing hair to stand,
Causing bodies to shiver.

From blue,
To indigo,
To violet,
To black
With a light sheen of white.

Stars that once shone,
The moon that had brightened the
Night sky, now
Hide
Behind sheets of thick, dark, wool

Without the knowledge
Of the people,
Darkening the calm dark, and
Chilling
The cool air.

The night deepens,
And the air
Chill, ever the more,
Ever the more
Fiercely.

The drums beat,
Silently, then
Louder,
Disturbing but only
Few occupants.

Droplets of tears,
Of blood,
Of sweat,
Fall, and
Beat, against the ground

To be absorbed
Wholly,
Silently,
Consistently,
By the earth.

Hours pass
Stealthily,
Consistently,
The beating of drums
Ever louder than before

Along with the
Consistent
Pitter-patter of droplets
Against grass,
Against soil

Drowning
The earth,
The grass,
Transforming
Green to Brown.

The darkness part, after hours,
With no moon,
With no stars, leaving
Nothing,
But the cool, still air.

Of red,
Of orange,
Of yellow,
As rays penetrate, through the
Thickness of the night before.

Dissipating,
Separating, the pure
White of the morning,
Against the
Green of the earth.

Leaving,
But the crystal
Result
Of the rumbles
Of the night.

-------------------------------------------

A/N: =) Another rather uplifting poem, I guess..? Waddya think..? Title gives everything away... but ah well.


Signing off... ...

Untitled Poem, sudden inspiration of desperation

A light shines bright, in a distance, and
Feet start to move, aimlessly towards it
Maneuvering
Out of the endless dark.

Footsteps heavy,
The sound of dragging feet,
Resound through the silence,
Breaking
the otherwise noiseless vacuum.

The light nears, and
Footsteps quicken,
Desperate, and
Unaware.

Eager body
Hit against seemingly non-existent wall,
of the Strong tornado
Standing guard.

Some energy drains, and
A piece of soul
Rips from the body, that now lay
A metre away.

Feet regain their balance,
And continue
Their shaky steps
Towards hope.

Body and resistance
Clash once more,
Familiar pain, mixed with
Unfamiliarity.

Drops of liquid
Fall,
Marring the perfect marble landing, and
Leaving its irrevocable stains.

Piece by piece of soul,
Tear from the lifeless body,
Leaving, after futile efforts,
a souless, lifeless doll.

------------------------------------------------------
A/N: Okay, don't ask me what I'm writing. I don't know. The words came after all, it seems. ^^; Ah well. Okay, I ain't kidding myself and saying this is a poem. My poems have been nothing much but story telling. Got lots to learn.

Okay... MUST STUDY!!!! ARGH!!! @#%@#$%#^


Signing off... ...
Desperate for focus.

Next obstacle ahead... [Updates] and thank-yous

Assignments: Okay... Assignments are over... Screwed up a load of them... But well. The good thing is that it's over. And none of them scream "I've got a bug!" so I guess that's good. ^^; Thanks a mil to Chris who put up with all my hot-headedness and stuff... And yeah... Well. IT'S OVER =D

Exams: Okay, well. One obstacle over, another nears... My end-of-module exams... Really, judging from how I've been screwing everything else up I really should start studying... Especially since I've not been listening to SOO many lectures and how I've screwed up some projects... It's my only way out... But... *sigh* I JUST CAN'T START *pulls hair out* I've GOT to snap out of this sometime soon.

Someone slap me.

After-exam plans: Okay, well. I'm finally going for one of those personal development programmes this year... Not with friends... but ah well.. Perhaps another time.. Anywayz, am going for SALSA! YESH! OMG I'LL GET TO LEARN DANCE AGAIN!! =D=D Okay, so I heard it's extremely basic and simple and stuff... But WHO CARES! Yay. =D

Guitar Ensemble: Heheh, went to watch my brother perform at the LT at NUS- =) Heheh, was SUPER DUPER NICE! =D =D >_< It's really different hearing the entire ensemble play... (Although I have been to 2 or 3 of those before) Loved a LOAD of pieces =D Hope I can catch another one of those next time... =^^= Really liked a load of things there... The next time I catch my brother practicing I'm gonna request a song... ;)

Problems: Ah well. As usual. Shan't blog about them, though. Had just about enough of it.

Dance poetry: THANKS to all those who commented about my dance poem thing... ^_^ Never ever received so many comments about any of my poems before- ^^; And compliments. Hmmz. ^_^ Heh I like it too =D *coughs* whoops. ^^; Hey I'm not being egoistic- But I really do like it... Though it's not perfect- >_<

Temporarily lost my ability to churn poems out though... The idea's there, but the words won't come -__-" Sigh.


Signing off... ...

Generally pissed, and the Beauty of Poetry

Okay, full blown bashing ranting post up again, so BEWARE. I'm not in a good mood. No offence intended.

If you have no wish to see bashing posts, please do skip this entry. Thank you. Much appreciated.

Stupid people: Okay, my classmates and I just can't STAND that stupid irritating class that comes in after one of our lab lessons. They flood in as soon as our teacher steps out and stand right next to our seats and giving us pressure. Today I wanted to walk out from the right, behind Michelle, as we were leaving our seats but the STUPID darn guy waiting for her seat just pulled open the chair and sat there straight after she walked past him without giving me any space to walk past, when I was BLOODY WAITING THERE FOR HIM TO MOVE! After staring at him for like a couple of seconds, I figured that he hadn't much of a brain, backtracked, and walked the other way out.

Thank goodness the guy waiting for my seat had the common sense to get out of the way.

To Kill A Mockingbird: Saw this movie a couple 'weeks back... Don't know if I mentioned it... There's this guy (called Edison I think?) who's this upright lawyer... who tries to defend a black man, called Tom Robinson (Was it?) who was accused of a crime he did not commit... Twas about discrimination and stuff... The man died anyway. Got me crying at the bloody immaturity and unfairness of it all.

But that wasn't the point. Let's take a look at Edison. He remained true to his principles and values, unlike those other cowardly idiots, and took on the case in the name of justice. Despite the talk from the others around town. Now _that_ is called strong character.

Find the rest of them just irritating... Not doing things because of a load of reasons (most of which are just bull) and for convenience's sake. What of all those people who suffer as a result? No, of course they don't care. As long as they don't have to lift their arse to do anything else that requires more work. Just because it's what the rest do. What about your own trend of thought?? What about your principles?? What about using that BRAIN that resides in that skull of yours?! What of that heart that is supposed to feel?? Cut it up and ate it for lunch cause you were too lazy to grow your own food or to go down to the supermarket to get some, I suppose. Bloody selfish good-for-nothings.

But the movie was good.

Work: Okay. I've wanted to kill distractions so that I could do my work, but it's proving to be much harder than it used to be. Used to just 'appear offline' so tht I could take note of any incoming mail that may be important, while at the same time NOT chatting and getting distracted. Bloody irritating myself out. Seems like the only time I can work now is in the middle of the night. Perhaps I should just change my body clock. It may prove to be much more efficient and effective, especially during assignment chionging period and through studying. Can't help getting pissed off. So much for getting let off at 2 today. It's past 12.30am and I haven't touched a single bloody thing.

Pissed: This is absolutely terrible. Had no idea how many times I had to tell myself 'calm down' or had to re-type my sentences, mainly those with 'bloody' or 'i wouldnt have given a damn' in it. Had to bite my tongue from retorting several times too.

-------- End of bashing rant --------

Poetry: Everyone has their own style. Writing a poem is the same as that of writing your own story. There are no set ground rules for you to follow, but for your flow of thoughts. The depth of the words, choice of words, length of the poems, are solely up to you.

The flow of words, the deliberate breaks or lack thereof, the slight choppiness, the consistency and lack thereof... Every single little exquisite detail tells you something. Reveals, emphasises or backs something up. Reveals part and parcel of the whole story or message the poet wants to tell.

If a poet chooses to write something in some way, there may be a special reason to it. It is up to you to figure it out, should you wish to.

The beauty of poetry.

Of course, mine is still a far cry from that. But I'm working on it.


Signing off... ...
Hate being defined by the actions of others.

Listening creates brain power

One step to the left,
One step to the right,
Tip-a-tapping,
Tip-a-tapping.

A lift of the chin,
A lift at the lips,
A spin to the left,
A spin to the right.

A look in the mirror,
A single figure,
With graceful leaping,
With perfect turnings.

Another figure,
With powerful actions,
Take heavy quicksteps,
Turn precise turnings.

Slow start and hold,
And then a quick push,
To facilitate sharp turns
To convey strong feelings.

Varying styles,
And personalities,
Fuse together,
And explode on contact.

But a sudden
trip,
Hard contact on floor,
Stop the turns,
Stop the leaps.

Hands assist,
And pain forgot,
Two figures again,
Stand up tall.

Frequent crashes,
Frequent pushes,
Interrupt rhythm,
Interrupt song.

But steps to the left,
Steps to the right,
A look to the right,
A look to the left,

Give the same
Lift of the chin,
Give the same
Lift at the lips.

As time pass by,
And patterns are noted,
As habits are learnt
And understanding taught,

The figures learn
A new complement, of
Tip-a-tapping,
Turn-a-turning.

------------------------------------------------

What?: Omg. Is that even my style of writing? I did try to write something slightly different to emphasise something... but some parts seem somewhat like someone else's style. I hope not, though...... Some parts just sounded extremely strange and 'urgh' to me. But ah well. Never mind. I'm rather satisfied with it =^^= There. My first poem that's not exactly sad and stressful. =) [Of all the times I have words that flow... It _always_ comes when I'm stressed or when I'm hard-pressed for time -___-"]

Listening, and arguing: Taken from an article:

To break the bad habit of arguing, ask for peoples opinions, and listen without
saying anything. Ask them to clarify, but don't offer even one contrary idea. If
you do this enough, you'll be surprised by how much you learn. Some of us
habitual debaters are also surprised by how difficult this simple technique can
be, but it works.

Hmm... Not that difficult for me, I think- =) Unless I'm being insulted in the process... And yea, I guess I do learn a lot. ^^ But hmm... This does sound rather familiar... Have I blogged about something similar before..? Can't remember.


Signing off... ...
Surprisingly cheerful, back to work.

High-tide, from 27/11/05

She lies
tied up and bound,
Open, Vulnerable,
against the sand.

The tide comes in,
the sound of water crashing against the shore,
ringing in her ears,
Each much louder than the one before.

The water level steadily rises,
crashing against her body relentlessly.
She panics.

She struggles against her bonds,
futile,
as the tide comes in still faster,
covering her legs.

Higher,
and higher.

It reaches for her face,
it's waves beating against her,
leaving her spluttering,
and helpless.

The water level continues to rise,
ignoring her cries of protest,
suffocating her.

Drowning her.


Signing off......
Come what may, I am here for you to deal as you wish

Test: You are the Loyalist

You Are the Loyalist

6 You have strong relationships and are intensely loyal. People find you easy to love and care for. You like your world to be stable and secure, no surprises. You're cautious. You prefer your inner circle to the outside world.

What number are you?

Whee-- Just some test thingy i took~ ^^ Like... in Nov 05 ^^;; Saw it as a draft in my list of posts and decided to post it anyway ^_^

Signing off... ...

December Updates

Okay... lots of things to update on... so this is gonna be an extremely boring, long, long-winded post. BEWARE.

EOY: Well, EOY. Let's see... It was pretty good on the whole =) Mood was slightly off, but otherwise alright~ Made up for the fangirling after I came back and saw the photos ^^;; Heheh... Fangirled once for a little less than a minute while our group was taking group shots though... For a short while- Twas a nice feeling- =D

On to my (ultra) belated fangirling... THERE WAS A KADAJ THIS YEAR TOO!! Pretty Kadaj, though not as bishie *sighs dreamily* as the one last year, but still a pretty Kadaj. I _think_ 'he' won something in the individual competition if I'm not wrong... like 1st or 2nd... but I didn't exactly keep track, so... >_<

And well... I realised something after I came back... I DIDN'T LOOK FOR MARIA-SAMA!!! =S Wahh... So I didn't see her this year... =( =( Suddenly miss her as Maria, and her _singing_ as Maria... But ah well. >_<

AND SKYE SANG REALLY WELL!!! If she was nervous, she didn't show it this time!! SHO PROUD OF HER!!! =D Yeah.

Sentosa: Went to Sentosa with Clar... but twas raining so... ah well. Played this thing called the Luge ride... and twas darn fun~ =D Ohoh and we sat the glass cable car thingy there and back... twas really nice =) We had a hard time finding the entrance to the cable car place though ^^;;

P5/6 Gathering: WHEE met up with Grace, Jel, Pearl, Momo and Andrea (basically the old anime gang) for a gathering~ =D=D We were at Vivocity and camped at Food Republic and Carl's Jr for most of the day just chatting, eating, writing/drawing and well, chatting, then Andrea insisted on having her IKEA meatballs so we decided to head over to Momo's place-

Momo's mum was really really nice to agree to cook for us and stuff. Then we ate... and ate... and ate. So did everyone else ^^;; So much for watching our diet. All of us ended up super stuffed by the end of the day.

Twas really really fun and everything~ And seeing everybody... twas a good feeling =)

OG26 Gathering: Another group I hadn't seen in ages... Well, granted, not everyone went, but it was alright I guess... The person who asked for the outing couldn't make it though... >_< Cause he suddenly had duty or something like that... ^^;; Ah well.

Forgot how it was to laugh extremely hard... but was reminded that day- ^_^ When Sam was telling us about stuff and the guys were being their usual lame selves. Rachel and I did a bit of catching up too~

Ate at Jack's Place... and well. I had no cash... =S And Rachel ended up paying for me... Gosh I felt so bad!! I _have_ to pay her back >_< When we meet up again next time I suppose- ^^ I hope we manage to find a time to meet up- =)

Escape: WHEE Went to Escape with Clar- Went through this haunted house thing... (I suspect it's new cause I never knew of its existence before) where the scariest part was before we went in, when half of this group of people were trying to scare the other half about the ride being really scary, and when we entered this pitch black area cause I couldn't see anything and was not sure where to turn and could not put my hands out in front of me cause a hand was kind of occupied behind me- If you didn't catch that, nope it wasn't scary ^^;; And I guess that kind of says a bit coming from me ^^;;

OH Then we played the Go-Karts~~ NICE!!! [warning lots of gibberish up ahead] I was like *step* *vroom* *whoa* *whee* *vroom* *yay* ^^; twas LOADS of fun~~~ =D=D

Then of course there was the log ride... where we got all WET =D Niccceee~ Of course it wasn't exactly the fact that we got wet... it was more of the fact that we slid down a really high thingy and _then_ got all wet as we hit the bottom. =D Talk about fun.

We tried the games out too- just as the clouds started to come in and shower on us- (so we were safe) We won a Nemo- or rather, a clownfish, but well. *shrugs* It's currently holding residence in my room. =)

Stuff happened before and after that, I guess, but I don't remember them anymore... so =)=) It was a pretty fun day as far as I'm concerned.

Christmas Countdown: Went for my first Christmas countdown at Orchard... and well. Twas alright I guess ^^;; up till the actual countdown... when things got a little... well. Messed up.

Things got really squeezy and rather bad when some extremely rowdy and inconsiderate people made themselves known at the scene. We were squashed in the middle of the crowd, and could do nothing as waves of extreme pushing came... Halfway through it I focused on maintaining my balance and blocked most of everything else out.

All I could remember was the actual countdown, when we were still getting pushed around, Clar screaming for them to stop seconds after the stroke of midnight, and well. Water getting poured on us... And the extremely ironic situation when the emcee for the event in front of us said "admist all the hustling and bustling, we should slow down and close our eyes to..." erm, well, I think I forgot what she said after that... but it was something about thinking about others and Christmas and what's given to us or something like that...

But the ironic thing was that she was telling us this when there was a whole crowd of people in front of her getting squashed and pushed around.

But I was glad that Clar was there. When he pulled me to the side to wait for the crowd to dissipate before letting us leave... For like getting worried after the entire pushing episode, and when he found out that my feet had been somewhat trampled upon, and well. Stuff. And for buying us the spray thing to play with (although I only used my can on his arm once after his spray caught me twice) All in all, thanks- =)

Christmas: Twas one of the better Christmas days I had... Had already fallen sick, but well, despite that I had a great time. Learnt part of a song on the piano (although it's only the intro) and watched Dead Poet's Society, and made konyaku jelly and stuff- =) Twas nice.

And the prezzies I got~ Twas nice- =) I've got 2 additions to the family - A small round blue penguin, and a Schnauzer. ^^; And TAROT CARDS! PROPER TAROT CARDS! Like yay~ =D Heehee...

And of course, thank you to MANDA, GRACE and MOMO for the Christmas cards that you guys sent me... And for the letters and notes that came with it- It's late, but rest assured that a reply will come your way >_<

Sick: Yes, well, I fell sick. And as usual, at the most inappropriate of times >_< Had this terrible smell coming from me that I couldn't get rid of... And I felt like something (my throat) was rotting inside of me... Affected my nose, ears and head. The smell apparently came from my semi-rotting tonsils. Gross.

I guess I'm lucky that this period is when I have nothing on >_< Though it was supposed to be meant for working.

Schoolwork: Yes, gah. I'm gonna die any moment... All, and might I stress, ALL of my assignments are still untouched. UNTOUCHED!! *dies* Individual and groupwork alike.

Wish me luck. I'll need it.


Signing off... ...
Sleep

Torrental Rains

the Rains pour,
Day after
Day after
Day.

seemingly harmless Rains,
drizzle, and
Pour, with
occasional winds,
aggravating conditions.

seemingly harmless Rains
cause damage
Day after
Day after
Day,
catching people unawares.

It pours while at home,
drizzles while at the arcade,
pours while at Sentosa,
pours at the beach.

Floods start coming in,
the seemingly harmless Rains,
causing more damage
than expected.

Rescue missions ensue
precautions taken
good wishes exchanged

All to no avail.

Finally,
the Rains lighten.
Some things lost,
some things gained.

-------------------------------------
Argh, semi messed up post, but ah well. Lots to talk about actually... Google Blogger deleted another post of mine and now I'm just super scared of typing long entries... -_____-" Anywayz, till I find the time to rant again...


Signing off... ...
Rush

Tact and thought. And utter stupidity.

Warning: This is going to a complaining, bashing entry. KEEP OUT if you're allergic to that- Thank you.

Terrible person: That's what I've been for a very long time... going in and out of 'scum' status for my entire life. There are days I wish that I would just stop being such a blasted idiot... To _THINK_ before I do anything. To stop taking things the easy way out and letting the rest of my body do things before going through my brain.

There are times when the heart should be at work, there are other times when the head should take over. Currently, that balance of mine has been lost.

I'm been a bloody stupid blasted hypocrite many times... And a bloody arse to boot.

Birthday: Today was my brother's birthday. But guess what I did..? I stayed out till 11.30... Didn't give him his present, and missed his celebration altogether. All because I was thinking about myself and whatever not... Cause I kept trying to get myself to lighten up... Because... of well. A lot of things. None of which is reason enough to have done what I did. Or rather, did not do.

He's always made it a point to come back on time for _my_ birthday celebration every year... He never forgets to give me my present, and most of the time it even comes early. And what did I do this year? For the first time, I missed his birthday. What sort of a sister am I?

How screwed up can I get, really? How stupid can I get? ... But you know what, don't answer that.

I'm just wondering how I became what I am now... This screwed up me. The me that's almost unrecognisable now. This ugly, mutated, piece of... thing.

Randomness: I suppose randomness is not that much of a good thing... It just used to be some random thing my mind thought up with and I just let it flow out- (Heh, manda should know about this best. In fact, most should know about that little fact about me) Until recently... When randomness just became another weapon.

Not everything used to have a reason- But I realise that not many think that way. Everything I do is interpreted in some way... Watched by everyone. I suppose I will have to keep that in hand... To control that.

"Everything has a reason". Perhaps that's true. Perhaps somewhere in my subconscious, these all came from something. Something related to something that happened, to something I felt. It's just something I don't notice. Perhaps.

On the bright side: As someone said, "at least you're aware of it now. Thus you'll be able to change for the better as you see fit right?" Yeah. No one should have to stand my nonsense. I'll change. Just wait.


Signing off... ...
Tact and thought: An art I need to master

Back from Japan: Cosplay coming up

Okay... This is going to be a long rambling update- ^^;; Pardon me.

Can you feel the love tonight: Whee I saw this multi-language video for Lion King's "Can you feel the love tonight" on youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpmug6ODaWc ^_^ Love it~~ The changes in language are rather smooth, save for two or three transitions... Be-au-tiful. =) Darn, I've fallen in love with Lion King (1 and 2) again.. >_<

Japan trip: IM BACK!! (Okay, I've been 'back' for some time... but... *shrugs*) TWAS REALLY FUN!! >__< Miss them- =(

Waterfall/River: We went to this waterfall thing... Then we had to walk this long way up to get there... Twas really cool~ =D=D But err... I kinda fell into the stream/river along the way, along with my camera. So my photo-taking had to stop for a couple of days... ^^;; Nice water, though.

Host family: Gosh, I miss my host family... Loads. Yuki-chan, Mayu-chan and Yuri-chan (the 3 daughters) and my 'okaasan' and 'otousan' >_< I like fell sick there with a fever and stuff (and didn’t tell them) but I recovered in like 1 or 2 days cause their kotatsu, room (my ‘otousan’ actually brought a heated mat in for me to place under my futon to keep me warm) and well, everything was nice and warm. Them, too. =)

They like brought me to really nice places, made really nice food... got me really nice stuff too... And they actually got a me a _yukata_!! Wah. It's really gorgeous. Love it. I am so going to the next summer festival and do it proud! =D Feeling a little Kitago-sick now, though >_<

Rebonding: Oh ya, and I rebonded my hair so it’s err… straight now. ^^; Somewhat.

Tarzan: Borrowed Tarzan from my GEMs teach yesterday and watched it ^_^ Love the songs- =)

Flash: Yes, finished my Flash assignment (a whole lot more others to go)- It's not the best that I could have done, but it'll do =) Thanks a MILLION to Clar and Christine-- =D Couldn't have done it without them- Had to have them teaching me stuff and all- ^^;;

EOY: YES EOY is this Saturday!! Got my Hakama!! AND IT LOOKS LOVELY!! =D=D YESH! But err… bad thing is that we can’t find our grass slippers so well. We may have to walk around in just socks ^^;; If you’re going, see ya there! ;) To know more about EOY this year… Click here!

Beta Blogger: Okay, warning. Please do NOT change to the google beta version... dumb stupid thing keeps deleting my words halfway through (you have no idea how many times I had to re-type certain parts of my post. *growls* It like deleted everything once too!! *kills* I never thought I’d ever say this… but I hate the Google Blogger. @$@#@#$%)


Signing off... ...

Helen, Bridge, and Manda.

A normal rambling post ahead. ^_^

Helen the baby fox: YES I WATCHED HELEN!! Okay, yes I'm a bit slow... But hey, that ain't a crime. =P I'm currently hopelessly in love with the movie. Just as I was crazy over Final Fantasy Advent Children. ...Okay, perhaps not. But either way, it's a really touching movie... Some parts really made me think... And the way Helen was hopping around and stuff... It was really cute ^_^ Poor Clar had to deal with my (occasional?) gushing. The little fella just makes your heart melt.

Going out: Went out with manda yesterday after her last paper... And I've seriously not enjoyed myself like that for some time =D I saw Charmaine, Elvin (from 1st 3 months) and got to hang out a little with manda~ =D=D It was really really wonderful. Felt like _my_ exams were over too. Which of course, isn't true. What with the deadlines so near... But ah well ^^;

Looking forward to tomorrow's yukata-making... Although err... I'm just afraid I won't be able to complete it...... >_<

Talking: Okay, err, I was made to talk a little in front of a crowd a couple of days back. Don't know if I can ever get used to it. I blanked out again, went on auto-pilot, couldn't see anything, and I was probably grinning like an idiot to boot. ^^;;

BRIDGE: OMG OMG OMG OMG I LOVE BRIDGE!! Okay, err... *coughs* Alright, some probably knew how to play it since last year (those JC peeps)- (I wanted to learn it during my 1st 3 months but didn't manage to >_<) But yeah, I only just learnt it a couple weeks back from some friends from the Miyazaki Trip. Heheh... One went through JC before (and surprisingly, the same as my 1st 3 mths JC) and another I think, learnt through _his_ 1st 3 months.

But I digress. Anywayz, Bridge is really such a fun card game ;) Heheh... Sad thing is that you usually need 4 people to play... I'm hoping we get to play lots during our trip ;) And also perhaps later at practice..?

It's been a long time: Gosh, this feels comfortingly familiar... I haven't rambled like this in ages... Heheh.. And yes, talking about practice... I really should make a move... Am late >_< Signing out!


Signing off... ...
let's go!

Working hard, and enjoying it. Partly ^^

Impossible people: Heh, came across this article in WikiHow on how to deal with impossible people... Thought it might help some, and myself, sometime along the way... I like the last part. ^^ Do unto others what you would others do unto you. I've been letting other emotions get in the way of that recently. Terrible.

"Be a "possible" person. Human behavior is changed through positive modeling. An ancient saying goes, "As ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them." Live as an example of tolerance, patience, kindness and love. We are all influenced by the people in our environment. You must give in kind in order to receive in kind. Give respect, receive respect. Give understanding, get understanding. Even if the other person fails to properly reciprocate, this will eventually apply to most of the people you meet in life. "

If you're interested in seeing the article, its here: http://www.wikihow.com/Deal-With-Impossible-People


Untactful: Okay... Err, I've been rather untactful recently for some reason... so erm... if you've been at the recieving end of that and I've pissed/irritated you... I'm really really sorry... I've been doing that, and apologising for it, quite a bit recently. That's not a good sign.

Assignments: Hm. I've gotta complete a couple of assignments/start on some by next Mon/Tues... I've gotten into the mood for doing my Flash assignment, but my design is still really horrible... >_< I'm hoping it turns out looking ok ^^;; The good thing is that it's fun. =D Almost all my modules are this semester =^^= Thank goodness.

MSTs: That stands for 'Mid-Semester Tests' in case you didn't know ^^ Hmm... Okay... Gotten 2 back, out of 4... and those 2 were alright... Not that bad >_< GOTTA WORK HARD!! And that goes for you guys too ya! ^^ Heh. Except for those whose As are over... then... Hm. ^^;; To those who've finished their As, congrats and play hard till the university school term starts or you start your part-time work- ^_^


Signing off... ...
Picking up

Terrible, terrible road... with a Miya break.

Sharp edges: I used to be able to talk to people without hurting them... The edges were always round and I knew how to bounce. Up, down... Up. But things change. My edges have gotten a bit worn out and the the sides are getting a bit rocky, all round. Bouncing is a little tougher than before, and the height is no longer as high as it once was.

But I guess that's what they mean when we lose our spirit..? I suppose we've all had times like this before... where a bit of sandpaper-ing should get it back in shape- I just hope that this is not permanent... Or that there won't be enough material for me to sandpaper anymore.

But as long as I've got my pillars it shouldn't be a problem. ^_^ I just wonder if I have the time to sandpaper it before it breaks next time it hits.

Temper, temper: Terrible, too, man. Perhaps I _do_ need to go for an anger management course... I have my way of dealing with my own temper and stress and hurt... But when it's not enough... When it's not accepted... Perhaps I'll need to find another way..? (Yes, 'manda, I can practically hear your response at the back of my head now >_<)

MSTs: OMG MSTS ARE IN... ONE+ DAY!!! CRAP!! Oh gawd, I don't think I can do this... When other stress just pile up on me I CANNOT STUDY. Crap. Like why on earth am I even here blogging man!!! Please, do me a favour, SLAP me if you see me online... I just need to get the momentum... ='( I'm gonna break... Any second. Any further I'm gonna throw my laptop and my handphone and myself out the window. Okay, maybe not myself... But I'll find some other way...

Clar: Let my mind argue it out, k..? I'll be fine... Thanks for worrying, though... :-)

Miya trip: Gosh, I am _so_ looking forward to it... It'll be a break from everything..... Every single little thing... Leaving, temporarily, my troubles behind, while I immerse myself in a momentary fantasy... Away from all sorts of pressure against my person, and a rare, once in a dunno how long chance to find myself... I'm just gonna go out there and be myself and enjoy! IM GOING ALL OUT MAN!! =D

Background music: It's still there!! I stopped the autostart thing cause I thought it would get rather irritating and I already got one victim, so... ^^;; Sorry...!! Just wanted you guys to hear it first- ^^;

But, err... if you haven't heard it yet please do...! >_< See that little rectangular thingy on the left..? Click play k? ^^ And if you manage to catch the part I couldn't tell me please! =D Thanks in advance!!

I love the song, period.


Signing off... ...
STUDY!!!

Thank you, best friends :)

Okay... I'm gonna do another reminiscing and thank-you post again... Been going into these kinda moods a lot recently... ^^;; If I sound gay... ... *coughs* I'm afraid you'll have to bear with me, or of course, skip this post, or the first section-

Past recollection: I suddenly remembered what my best friends used to say... "Don't be too soft-hearted! That's why everyone takes advantage of you!", (Well, there was also the "Hey only I can do that! Don't let other people do that to you! I'll go talk to her."), "You should stand up for yourself!", "That person's such an ass. If if was me...", "WHAT you did that?? I want to shake you girl- How could you let him/her control you like that?", "If that person bullies you, I'll go after him/her with a chopper(or some other weapon)!", "WHAT you said sorry??! What for?? He/She should be the one apologising!" ... And of course, the one that melted me... "It hurts me to see you in this kind of situation."

=^^= *sighs dreamily* Heehee... One should see this... And recognise which ones she said- And yeah... perhaps another good friend who's said some of these before... But thank you so much-- It's times when I hear that that I know that I'm not alone and I can keep going on- Don't know what I'd do without you guys... ^_^ Perhaps it's my flaw, perhaps it's my strength... I don't know... But it's nice knowing that what I do is recognised by my friends, even if not by the person I'm doing it for.

SC days were sweet... The girls were sweet... Still are ;) And yes, that's any SC girl that's reading this right now. ^^ Love you guys.

Quote: "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." Oh, so true. Same goes for maturity and immaturity. Maturity comes with the ability to look out for other people other than yourself, and knowing the fact that the world doesn't revolve around you. I shall quote a friend: "You shouldn't revolve around a relationship. The relationship should revolve around everything else." So true... Guess that's how relationships stay strong and beautiful. =^^= And of course, respecting the person as a person. (I'm not sure if that actually makes sense to you, but it does, to me. I have no idea how to re-phrase it) Glad I have the person who told me that- =D Survival of the fittest, with a slightly warped meaning-


Signing off... ...
Friends are the most beautiful things one could have.

Too Close

Too Close

Nobody knows me
I've always wanted it that way
No one controls me
They never get me on the time of day

No one has seen me cry
I only do that alone
My seamless mask of disguise

Watch how I run
Far from the one
Whos getting

Too Close
Might just meet my expectations
Don't get too close
Afraid you'll see my desperation
Your revelations
Too close

I had a lover
He came and took my mask away
No suit of armour
That he could nothing into penetrate (??)

Plucked my heart with his knife
Butterfly-ed into...
Left myself open wide

Completely misused and
Falsely accused of getting

Too Close
Thought I met his expectations
But I got too close
Saw into his desperation
My revelation
Too close


Too Close
Might just meet my expectations
If you get too close
Afraid you'll see my desperation
Your revelations
Too close

Too Close

Nobody knows me

No one controls me~

====================================
Too Close: Beautiful song... Fell with it the first time I heard it... Love it to the core... Probably cause I can connect with it so well... Or is it just me...? Hmm... But the funny thing is that I can't find anything about it on the net... *growls* So I typed the lyrics out... But see that '(??)' there...? That's the part that I can't make sense out of >_< If anyone can figure it out tell me k..? It's the song playing in the background ^^

Japanese and Dance: Let's see... My dance chapter is over... Japanese may just be, too... They were both really beautiful aspects of my life... Japanese, having taken it for like, what, 6 years...? I'll miss my sensei and classmates and stuff... Dance is over, for now, too...

More time: I assumed that that would mean more time for my projects and work and stuff, but I supposed I just proved myself wrong the past week... I suppose I'll have to enforce the discipline that I so lack. No communication whatsoever while doing work. No distractions.

Handphone: I have had the insane urge to throw my handphone away quite a couple of times already... Had to borrow my classmate's eraser this morning to throw around the room in order to quench my thirst for the sound and feel of shattering... well. Objects. The table would have worked too but... *shrugs*

I wonder... If I smashed my handphone... (Karen was amazingly kind to offer her handphone for me to smash ^^;;) what would happen..? I'd be back to how I was in the past I think- Back in time- Which wouldn't be a bad thing. I could choose. If anyone wanted to get me, they could get me at home. And if I didn't want to listen, my parents could help me reject the call. I had a choice, then.

Now, I don't.

Lazy creatures: Karen said before, that technology was making us all lazy... I agree wholeheartedly. I miss the times when I could run freely everywhere, anytime, anywhere... Sprint around school... Walk from home to any place in orchard, and back again. Play basketball, badminton, etc... Although I sucked at it. Walk under the setting sun, in the evening, taking in the cool air, just thinking, just appreciating and reflecting...

When I could take the time in the bus to sleep, to go anywhere without getting tagged. Taking the stairs instead of the lift... Doing my work without having to worry about a window popping up and demanding a reply... Writing my letters and sending it to my penpals... Writing letters to my friends...

That was the life.

Love Rhombus: Truth. Beauty. Freedom. Love. Half-truth. The 4 sides and inner angle... The love rhombus' names have never struck me as hard as this before... All the essentials of life... The first 4 always so difficult to maintain... Always under pressure... Always threatening to break...

Pressure from outside is so much easier to handle than pressure from inside- I'm glad to say that most of the people close to me... Friends, family, are usually on the same line as me... So there's always something to fall back on... But I've had quite a bit of the taste of inner pressure and it really is a million times harder than outside pressure due to the inability to push back...

Quotes: I've heard a few lines that I've found amazingly accurate... "It's okay to run sometimes when heading it face on will not bring about any difference to anyone and will only result in pain, and more pain, to yourself.", "Sometimes, it's not the matter of time management... Sometimes there are just too many things that not even the master of time manipulation will be able to organise them." I've never known how true these can actually be till recently... Guess we'll only be able to keep fighting back-


Signing off... ...
The music,
Paused.