Too Close

Too Close

Nobody knows me
I've always wanted it that way
No one controls me
They never get me on the time of day

No one has seen me cry
I only do that alone
My seamless mask of disguise

Watch how I run
Far from the one
Whos getting

Too Close
Might just meet my expectations
Don't get too close
Afraid you'll see my desperation
Your revelations
Too close

I had a lover
He came and took my mask away
No suit of armour
That he could nothing into penetrate (??)

Plucked my heart with his knife
Butterfly-ed into...
Left myself open wide

Completely misused and
Falsely accused of getting

Too Close
Thought I met his expectations
But I got too close
Saw into his desperation
My revelation
Too close


Too Close
Might just meet my expectations
If you get too close
Afraid you'll see my desperation
Your revelations
Too close

Too Close

Nobody knows me

No one controls me~

====================================
Too Close: Beautiful song... Fell with it the first time I heard it... Love it to the core... Probably cause I can connect with it so well... Or is it just me...? Hmm... But the funny thing is that I can't find anything about it on the net... *growls* So I typed the lyrics out... But see that '(??)' there...? That's the part that I can't make sense out of >_< If anyone can figure it out tell me k..? It's the song playing in the background ^^

Japanese and Dance: Let's see... My dance chapter is over... Japanese may just be, too... They were both really beautiful aspects of my life... Japanese, having taken it for like, what, 6 years...? I'll miss my sensei and classmates and stuff... Dance is over, for now, too...

More time: I assumed that that would mean more time for my projects and work and stuff, but I supposed I just proved myself wrong the past week... I suppose I'll have to enforce the discipline that I so lack. No communication whatsoever while doing work. No distractions.

Handphone: I have had the insane urge to throw my handphone away quite a couple of times already... Had to borrow my classmate's eraser this morning to throw around the room in order to quench my thirst for the sound and feel of shattering... well. Objects. The table would have worked too but... *shrugs*

I wonder... If I smashed my handphone... (Karen was amazingly kind to offer her handphone for me to smash ^^;;) what would happen..? I'd be back to how I was in the past I think- Back in time- Which wouldn't be a bad thing. I could choose. If anyone wanted to get me, they could get me at home. And if I didn't want to listen, my parents could help me reject the call. I had a choice, then.

Now, I don't.

Lazy creatures: Karen said before, that technology was making us all lazy... I agree wholeheartedly. I miss the times when I could run freely everywhere, anytime, anywhere... Sprint around school... Walk from home to any place in orchard, and back again. Play basketball, badminton, etc... Although I sucked at it. Walk under the setting sun, in the evening, taking in the cool air, just thinking, just appreciating and reflecting...

When I could take the time in the bus to sleep, to go anywhere without getting tagged. Taking the stairs instead of the lift... Doing my work without having to worry about a window popping up and demanding a reply... Writing my letters and sending it to my penpals... Writing letters to my friends...

That was the life.

Love Rhombus: Truth. Beauty. Freedom. Love. Half-truth. The 4 sides and inner angle... The love rhombus' names have never struck me as hard as this before... All the essentials of life... The first 4 always so difficult to maintain... Always under pressure... Always threatening to break...

Pressure from outside is so much easier to handle than pressure from inside- I'm glad to say that most of the people close to me... Friends, family, are usually on the same line as me... So there's always something to fall back on... But I've had quite a bit of the taste of inner pressure and it really is a million times harder than outside pressure due to the inability to push back...

Quotes: I've heard a few lines that I've found amazingly accurate... "It's okay to run sometimes when heading it face on will not bring about any difference to anyone and will only result in pain, and more pain, to yourself.", "Sometimes, it's not the matter of time management... Sometimes there are just too many things that not even the master of time manipulation will be able to organise them." I've never known how true these can actually be till recently... Guess we'll only be able to keep fighting back-


Signing off... ...
The music,
Paused.