I look into the eyes in the mirror
Filled with fear.
Its usual cheer
Devoured by his other half.
The gaze
Burns me
And I look away
To soothe the flames
That erupted in my head.
I feel the pain,
I feel the hesitance,
I feel the hope.
Yet none of this
Is mine.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The 'poem': Just so you know, that doesn't reflect my current situation ^^;; Don't ask why I suddenly put that up, I don't know >_<
Stuff: Just had a nice talk with 'manda, and everything feels so much better now =) Screw everything. I'll take things one step at a time.
Talk with my doc: A trip to the doctor's a few days ago ended as some kind of sharing session. My world is protected now, she said. When I go out into the 'real' world, I may suffer from shock or something of the like, and when that happens, I can go look for her. Hm. Protected, yes.
I know this is utterly different from what she meant, but I think I'm really really lucky to have my current great friends and... well, stuff. It's just really sweet when I feel the protectiveness radiating off sometimes.
Fathers' Day: I think I can safely say that none of you here are fathers, but Happy Fathers' Day all the same. ^^
What?: Okay, I actually had loads to say, but everything's staying in my mind as overlapping emotions and random words that refuse to take form, so... I shall just leave this as that.
Signing off... ...
Over-blogging
Sunday, 18 June 2006
Saturday, 17 June 2006
Rationality and Computron
Rationality: Screw what I said a few days ago. Rationality has been thrown out the window, or ignored. -_-"
Turbo: Everything seems to have been going in turbo-mode the past few weeks... and it seems so long although it's only been such a short time. Like, too many things have happened. That is, only in certain aspects. I look at my assignments and it's different though. In that case everything seems to have zoomed by like a rocket. Everything's still untouched. I. NEED. To. Start. Concentrating.
Yes, 'manda, I know I ought to be slapped.
Computron: Yepz, second round and finals today. It was extremely fun to see the finalists battle it out. The secondary school kids were like fighting a war, the JC guys were better, and more coherent, and the tertiary people were... well. Amusing and like... Whoa. Glad to say the 'whoa' came from my buddy-classmate's group (which got first), and the SIM group. Err, amusing group was also from SP though ^^ That group went in the third round of the finals with err, 7(?) points and and came out with 0. On the dot. And there we were, worrying that they would emerge with negative points ^^;;
But even though they were amusing and cute, I still have to say that they weren't as silly as we thought, considering that they understood most of the questions that I went 'what?' at. Like, what's a binary tree with root 1? Huh?? Binary tree? All I could think of was a tree drawn with 1s and 0s. -_-" They got the answer half right, but points weren't awarded unless you get the full answer, so... Ah well.
On the contrary: The first round for the secondary school kids was like... super stupid. E.g.
What's a Desktop?
a) The display area
b) The area around the monitor
Erm, I forgot options c and d cause I think I was too busy laughing ^^;; And... Which of the following has the most space? RAM, floppy disk, CD, DVD, hard drive? Like... DUH I'm sure we've got a floppy disk in gigabytes >_<
Okay, enough rambling for today.
Signing off... ...
Turbo: Everything seems to have been going in turbo-mode the past few weeks... and it seems so long although it's only been such a short time. Like, too many things have happened. That is, only in certain aspects. I look at my assignments and it's different though. In that case everything seems to have zoomed by like a rocket. Everything's still untouched. I. NEED. To. Start. Concentrating.
Yes, 'manda, I know I ought to be slapped.
Computron: Yepz, second round and finals today. It was extremely fun to see the finalists battle it out. The secondary school kids were like fighting a war, the JC guys were better, and more coherent, and the tertiary people were... well. Amusing and like... Whoa. Glad to say the 'whoa' came from my buddy-classmate's group (which got first), and the SIM group. Err, amusing group was also from SP though ^^ That group went in the third round of the finals with err, 7(?) points and and came out with 0. On the dot. And there we were, worrying that they would emerge with negative points ^^;;
But even though they were amusing and cute, I still have to say that they weren't as silly as we thought, considering that they understood most of the questions that I went 'what?' at. Like, what's a binary tree with root 1? Huh?? Binary tree? All I could think of was a tree drawn with 1s and 0s. -_-" They got the answer half right, but points weren't awarded unless you get the full answer, so... Ah well.
On the contrary: The first round for the secondary school kids was like... super stupid. E.g.
What's a Desktop?
a) The display area
b) The area around the monitor
Erm, I forgot options c and d cause I think I was too busy laughing ^^;; And... Which of the following has the most space? RAM, floppy disk, CD, DVD, hard drive? Like... DUH I'm sure we've got a floppy disk in gigabytes >_<
Okay, enough rambling for today.
Signing off... ...
Friday, 16 June 2006
Silent Hill and Boat Quay
Fishes: Okay, like err, I don't believe I've 'fish'ed this many times in 2 days before... Fished at least a million times yesterday because of my onslaught of gastric, and another million times today when I sent an sms to the subject of a message instead of the intended recipient. Gosh, _that_ was embarassing. -_-" Fished my entire way home after that.
Silent Hill plot: Okay, went to watch the movie, but err, the grossly pictures grossed me out. Let's just say 20 minutes into the movie I suddenly remembered why I don't watch horror movies. My asthma. Like, gosh, how can one forget about something like that??? -_-" Dumb people do that, apparently. But it didn't turn out bad. It was quite sad, but alright. Not really that shocking, like the kind that has stuff jumping out at you. This had a bit more of a dumb plot.
Fav character: Oh, and the character I liked died. -_-" Happens all the time doesn't it. Oh, thank you so much. For goodness sake, she was like, intelligent and sweet! Why do they _always_ have to kill those nice characters off? Still think that she and the main character would look really cute together, but perhaps that's just me. But she is really cool. Too good for the main character actually. She actually died for the main character!! And her famous line, though filled with a bit of vulgarity, sounded really cute coming from her =P
Main character: But the main character of the show was like ultra dumb. The dumbest person I have ever seen actually. If I could I would have thrown something at her and made sure I aimed for her head. HELLO like there's supposed to be _something_ in that skull of yours!! What did you do to it, throw it out the window before the movie started?? -_-" Gosh.
Others: Yeah, well, other stuff happened today too, but I shan't blog about those. Let's just say Boat Quay looks rather nice when the lights come on and it's a really good place to talk. And hear soccer fans screaming their lungs out.
Signing off... ...
Silent Hill plot: Okay, went to watch the movie, but err, the grossly pictures grossed me out. Let's just say 20 minutes into the movie I suddenly remembered why I don't watch horror movies. My asthma. Like, gosh, how can one forget about something like that??? -_-" Dumb people do that, apparently. But it didn't turn out bad. It was quite sad, but alright. Not really that shocking, like the kind that has stuff jumping out at you. This had a bit more of a dumb plot.
Fav character: Oh, and the character I liked died. -_-" Happens all the time doesn't it. Oh, thank you so much. For goodness sake, she was like, intelligent and sweet! Why do they _always_ have to kill those nice characters off? Still think that she and the main character would look really cute together, but perhaps that's just me. But she is really cool. Too good for the main character actually. She actually died for the main character!! And her famous line, though filled with a bit of vulgarity, sounded really cute coming from her =P
Main character: But the main character of the show was like ultra dumb. The dumbest person I have ever seen actually. If I could I would have thrown something at her and made sure I aimed for her head. HELLO like there's supposed to be _something_ in that skull of yours!! What did you do to it, throw it out the window before the movie started?? -_-" Gosh.
Others: Yeah, well, other stuff happened today too, but I shan't blog about those. Let's just say Boat Quay looks rather nice when the lights come on and it's a really good place to talk. And hear soccer fans screaming their lungs out.
Signing off... ...
Tuesday, 13 June 2006
ECP and Fog's cleared
East Coast Park: Yepz, went to ECP to roller blade with Clarence... Like, yeah! The last time I went was with Deone, before Poly started. As usual, it took me a short while before I remembered how to blade, but it came faster than usual ^^;; 'Twas Clarence's first time blading, so we were like stumbling together in the beginning when I was still trying to remember how to blade... Then he just got better and better. ^_^ So anyway, it went like really well, and I used my cam to take lots of photos... The videos, for some reason or another, just doesn't work on my com though. -_-"
Fish and co: Ate there for the first time that day... Okay, if your jaw has just dropped, please pick it back up, I'm sure it's unbecoming. >_< Yep, ex, as I thought. But the fish was good- Guess that's why they're called 'Fish and co' ^^;; *coughs* Although I think I kept stepping on Clarence's toe =s Like, halfway through a conversation he suddenly said, "that's my toe". Gosh, and there I was happily tapping my foot against what I thought was the ground =S Wah.
Oh, and they had these weird gunnysack things hanging from the ceilings that I only noticed after I finished eating, and it was so tempting to just stand up and squeeze the gunnysacks to see what was in it. Paper? Cotton wool? Or perhaps their rubbish? Hm. It'll have to remain a mystery until I get the chance to kidnap one or something.
Skye and 'man: The fog has cleared, like finally!! Skye, thanks for listening to me =) I get what you mean, and it's processed now (not that you'll see this), and 'man? I'm glad you're back =D
Rationality: Okay, I don't know whether or not I hate my sense of rationality. Sure, there are times when it's just thrown out the window. But if I try hard enough, it comes back in about 2 days or so -_-" It's supposed to be good right? But I can't help feeling somewhat... I dunno, regretful about it all. Cause once it takes control... I don't know, sometimes it feels more like the 'shunning' part of me returns. Everything turns numb. And I don't exactly enjoy being numb.
Signing off... ...
Fish and co: Ate there for the first time that day... Okay, if your jaw has just dropped, please pick it back up, I'm sure it's unbecoming. >_< Yep, ex, as I thought. But the fish was good- Guess that's why they're called 'Fish and co' ^^;; *coughs* Although I think I kept stepping on Clarence's toe =s Like, halfway through a conversation he suddenly said, "that's my toe". Gosh, and there I was happily tapping my foot against what I thought was the ground =S Wah.
Oh, and they had these weird gunnysack things hanging from the ceilings that I only noticed after I finished eating, and it was so tempting to just stand up and squeeze the gunnysacks to see what was in it. Paper? Cotton wool? Or perhaps their rubbish? Hm. It'll have to remain a mystery until I get the chance to kidnap one or something.
Skye and 'man: The fog has cleared, like finally!! Skye, thanks for listening to me =) I get what you mean, and it's processed now (not that you'll see this), and 'man? I'm glad you're back =D
Rationality: Okay, I don't know whether or not I hate my sense of rationality. Sure, there are times when it's just thrown out the window. But if I try hard enough, it comes back in about 2 days or so -_-" It's supposed to be good right? But I can't help feeling somewhat... I dunno, regretful about it all. Cause once it takes control... I don't know, sometimes it feels more like the 'shunning' part of me returns. Everything turns numb. And I don't exactly enjoy being numb.
Signing off... ...
Sunday, 11 June 2006
Rose and air-con
Random post.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The air-con switches itself on,
And I feel the cold air rush in,
Its icy-cold wings spreading themselves around me.
The switch is un-locatable,
And my limbs s l o w l y
Start to freeze.
"Are you alright?"
I hear a voice-
And yet the damned smile spreads and I nod.
No one notices,
Or even feels the cold,
And yet
I continue to freeze,
The ice-cold seeping into my bones.
I hope fervently
for the warmth they feel to spread
to my numbing limbs,
though I know it futile.
As the machine runs on,
Past efforts to recover
Slip past my conscience.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rose: Heheh... someone showed me this link to a video and a guide on how to create paper roses... If any of you guys are interested, the link's http://www.wikihow.com/Fold-a-Paper-Rose and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZnhMl85dq4. After I created it I took some photos and looked at them... One particular photo reminded me of the love rhombus for some odd reason... So I just took the photo and splashed one line on ^^;; Yepz, here it is, for the love rhombus (though probably only 1 of you guys will see it here):
Missing you guys.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The air-con switches itself on,
And I feel the cold air rush in,
Its icy-cold wings spreading themselves around me.
The switch is un-locatable,
And my limbs s l o w l y
Start to freeze.
"Are you alright?"
I hear a voice-
And yet the damned smile spreads and I nod.
No one notices,
Or even feels the cold,
And yet
I continue to freeze,
The ice-cold seeping into my bones.
I hope fervently
for the warmth they feel to spread
to my numbing limbs,
though I know it futile.
As the machine runs on,
Past efforts to recover
Slip past my conscience.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rose: Heheh... someone showed me this link to a video and a guide on how to create paper roses... If any of you guys are interested, the link's http://www.wikihow.com/Fold-a-Paper-Rose and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZnhMl85dq4. After I created it I took some photos and looked at them... One particular photo reminded me of the love rhombus for some odd reason... So I just took the photo and splashed one line on ^^;; Yepz, here it is, for the love rhombus (though probably only 1 of you guys will see it here):
Signing off... ...
Roller Coaster and Computron
Let me first warn you this: I'm not in the right train of mind, utter random nonsense up ahead so... read on at your own risk!
------------------------------------------------
Up and up and up... and
Whoooooosssh down with a sharp right turn.
Up and down, up and down,
another few more unexpected turns and
a 360-degree flip.
Exhiliration mixes with increasing nausea
As the ride goes on,
and yet
I refuse to get off it.
------------------------------------------------
???: Okay, err... I'm not very sure what I just wrote myself. Does it make sense?
Craziness: I'm crazy. I'm on my way to madness, I'm sure of that. "I've gotta be outta my mind" - that's the line that has been repeating itself over and over and over in my head everyday, every hour. I've never heard something repeat itself so many times before. Gah. Maybe I _am_ going crazy.
Tired: Okay, perhaps all this madness is coming from my lack of sleep, I have no idea. I've been sleeping at 3 for the past 3 days or so (okay, I know some of you do too, but I have never done that >_<) and everyone knows what happens when I get tired. I do stupid stuff. Or I get a migraine. This time, it's both. But someone has been accompanying me (virtually) the past few days and it's helped a lot in keeping me awake... So I guess it ain't that bad. ^^;;
Computron: Yep, that's the name of the competition I went for today, and will be going for again next week. The 1st round(which was today) had us creating little bots that will transfer codes to the opponent's bots when we bang into them. The aim is to eliminate them.
It was really funny cause my team's bots kept killing themselves and well. Keep getting deactivated and all for no reason. And when we tested it against the sample one in the computer, we got wiped out in a matter of a few seconds. Ah well. Thankfully, we managed to (or seem to have) improve it a little in the last 5 to 10 minutes when one of my team members suddenly suggested something. Other than the fact that the later version had my main bot turning around in circles like some mad magnetic compass I guess it worked better than the previous one ^^;;
But it was fun. =^^=
SP-dominated: Oh, and did I mention? Like 7 groups were from SP... When my group came into the room to get seated we were like the 5th SP group... The guy was like "Huh?? SP again?" and the secondary school/JC team behind us went "wah lao eh". I couldn't stop myself from laughing. Indeed, when I looked around, the entire back half of the computer lab was from our school, our faculty. Heh. Now _that_ is domination.
Signing off... ...
(????????)
I'm happy.
------------------------------------------------
Up and up and up... and
Whoooooosssh down with a sharp right turn.
Up and down, up and down,
another few more unexpected turns and
a 360-degree flip.
Exhiliration mixes with increasing nausea
As the ride goes on,
and yet
I refuse to get off it.
------------------------------------------------
???: Okay, err... I'm not very sure what I just wrote myself. Does it make sense?
Craziness: I'm crazy. I'm on my way to madness, I'm sure of that. "I've gotta be outta my mind" - that's the line that has been repeating itself over and over and over in my head everyday, every hour. I've never heard something repeat itself so many times before. Gah. Maybe I _am_ going crazy.
Tired: Okay, perhaps all this madness is coming from my lack of sleep, I have no idea. I've been sleeping at 3 for the past 3 days or so (okay, I know some of you do too, but I have never done that >_<) and everyone knows what happens when I get tired. I do stupid stuff. Or I get a migraine. This time, it's both. But someone has been accompanying me (virtually) the past few days and it's helped a lot in keeping me awake... So I guess it ain't that bad. ^^;;
Computron: Yep, that's the name of the competition I went for today, and will be going for again next week. The 1st round(which was today) had us creating little bots that will transfer codes to the opponent's bots when we bang into them. The aim is to eliminate them.
It was really funny cause my team's bots kept killing themselves and well. Keep getting deactivated and all for no reason. And when we tested it against the sample one in the computer, we got wiped out in a matter of a few seconds. Ah well. Thankfully, we managed to (or seem to have) improve it a little in the last 5 to 10 minutes when one of my team members suddenly suggested something. Other than the fact that the later version had my main bot turning around in circles like some mad magnetic compass I guess it worked better than the previous one ^^;;
But it was fun. =^^=
SP-dominated: Oh, and did I mention? Like 7 groups were from SP... When my group came into the room to get seated we were like the 5th SP group... The guy was like "Huh?? SP again?" and the secondary school/JC team behind us went "wah lao eh". I couldn't stop myself from laughing. Indeed, when I looked around, the entire back half of the computer lab was from our school, our faculty. Heh. Now _that_ is domination.
Signing off... ...
(????????)
I'm happy.
Thursday, 8 June 2006
Guitar strings and overdose
Too much of a good thing: This is just like having an overdose - like eating the same favourite food of yours every day, for every meal. I know this is not good, and yet I'm doing it. I can foresee the time when I will be sick of it for a short period of time before it comes back again, and I don't want it to happen. Guess I'll just have to monitor my intake... Or hope it's like chicken rice. At least I won't get sick of _that_.
And in case you haven't realised... I wasn't talking about food.
The indestructable balance...: Okay, I've just found someone who noticed it too! But that person uses some other words to describe it. Used to have it in my MSN nick like for the whole of last year or something? I can't remember... But recently, it hasn't been making itself known to me, and that is... scary. Extremely so. Or maybe my happy things are just cancelling the unhappy ones? I have no idea.
CAMERA: YES YES YES!!! I've got a camera now!!! As in, again! No, my dead one hasn't revived itself, but it's as-good-as, or even better!!! Love my new cam, and I just can't WAIT to use it this Friday and Monday and whenever else.... *rubs hands in glee* This is going to be so much fun.
Randomness: Okay, I just saw something in Skye's blog that I couldn't help laughing at... Heheh... "Apparently you dun pluck a guitar string...you stroke it....XD sounds bad doesn't it". *laughs* I guess I do learn something new everyday. I never knew that despite listening to a brother play one for god-knows-how-many-years. Ah well.
Signing off... ...
And in case you haven't realised... I wasn't talking about food.
The indestructable balance...: Okay, I've just found someone who noticed it too! But that person uses some other words to describe it. Used to have it in my MSN nick like for the whole of last year or something? I can't remember... But recently, it hasn't been making itself known to me, and that is... scary. Extremely so. Or maybe my happy things are just cancelling the unhappy ones? I have no idea.
CAMERA: YES YES YES!!! I've got a camera now!!! As in, again! No, my dead one hasn't revived itself, but it's as-good-as, or even better!!! Love my new cam, and I just can't WAIT to use it this Friday and Monday and whenever else.... *rubs hands in glee* This is going to be so much fun.
Randomness: Okay, I just saw something in Skye's blog that I couldn't help laughing at... Heheh... "Apparently you dun pluck a guitar string...you stroke it....XD sounds bad doesn't it". *laughs* I guess I do learn something new everyday. I never knew that despite listening to a brother play one for god-knows-how-many-years. Ah well.
Signing off... ...
Tuesday, 6 June 2006
Outing with clarence and me, lucky.
Today: Yepz, went out today to watch 'Over the hedge' with Clarence (the senior). We got backed out on by 3 people... Then kept bumping into people we didn't want to bump into everywhere... -_-" Gosh. What luck. Anywayz, that was the only slightly frustrating thing today, oh, and of course, the fact that I was late. Like crap. I was L-A-T-E. =S And _everytime_ I go to the arcade I end up borrowing money from someone. Today was no exception. >_<
Yepz, but that was all the frustrating things. Other than that, I had loadsa fun. Learnt about places I've never been to, made a rather loud (and led to embarrassing) comment in the cinema, climbed the seats in the cinema, and walked through a whole afternoon of 'I'm not stupid' lines that Clarence was imitating ^^;; It was extremely fun and amusing. And of course, I just had to keep walking the wrong direction and making a fool of myself ^^;; And kicking chairs and people. Heheh...
Dance: Yippee! Danced the DDR thingy today--- It was loads of fun~ =D=D It's just wonderful being able to play with my friends-- And like my dance partner was good!!! Made me remember lotsa stuff... Realised that I seem to end up playing Para and the DDR with my good friends-- Well, at least I hope this trend continues. Wish I could take a step back and video it sometimes so that the memories will always be fresh. But I can't exactly clone myself and take the video when I'm up there dancing too, right? Ah well. Tough luck.
To sum it up: It was much better than I thought it'd be ^_^ Which is good. The only pity? I didn't bring my camera-- Or I could have taken so many cute and interesting shots ;) Heheh... Ah well. And the total number of arcades visited today: 3. =D
I'm lucky: Gosh, yes, I feel like I'm so darn lucky. No matter what turbulances I have out there, I always have some kinda anchor there... Someone to turn to, people who will reach out for me when they notice, and notice they will when they look at me. Complicated feelings rage when I'm out there, yet I always have someone who will laugh at my sceptism, look way too far ahead and way too off-track and amuse me, someone I can be there for when they are down. This, I have, and this, I'm thankful for.
And gosh, that just sounded like some kinda Prudential advertisement, didn't it? Sigh, ah well. (And somehow I know someone's gonna repeat my 'sigh' >_< Bad habit of mine, ain't it?)
Signing off... ...
(Rambling on)
Yepz, but that was all the frustrating things. Other than that, I had loadsa fun. Learnt about places I've never been to, made a rather loud (and led to embarrassing) comment in the cinema, climbed the seats in the cinema, and walked through a whole afternoon of 'I'm not stupid' lines that Clarence was imitating ^^;; It was extremely fun and amusing. And of course, I just had to keep walking the wrong direction and making a fool of myself ^^;; And kicking chairs and people. Heheh...
Dance: Yippee! Danced the DDR thingy today--- It was loads of fun~ =D=D It's just wonderful being able to play with my friends-- And like my dance partner was good!!! Made me remember lotsa stuff... Realised that I seem to end up playing Para and the DDR with my good friends-- Well, at least I hope this trend continues. Wish I could take a step back and video it sometimes so that the memories will always be fresh. But I can't exactly clone myself and take the video when I'm up there dancing too, right? Ah well. Tough luck.
To sum it up: It was much better than I thought it'd be ^_^ Which is good. The only pity? I didn't bring my camera-- Or I could have taken so many cute and interesting shots ;) Heheh... Ah well. And the total number of arcades visited today: 3. =D
I'm lucky: Gosh, yes, I feel like I'm so darn lucky. No matter what turbulances I have out there, I always have some kinda anchor there... Someone to turn to, people who will reach out for me when they notice, and notice they will when they look at me. Complicated feelings rage when I'm out there, yet I always have someone who will laugh at my sceptism, look way too far ahead and way too off-track and amuse me, someone I can be there for when they are down. This, I have, and this, I'm thankful for.
And gosh, that just sounded like some kinda Prudential advertisement, didn't it? Sigh, ah well. (And somehow I know someone's gonna repeat my 'sigh' >_< Bad habit of mine, ain't it?)
Signing off... ...
(Rambling on)
Tuesday, 30 May 2006
Screwed. The worst ever.
Some test thing: Okay... I did this funny test thingy on my3q.com on what sort of person i am... and I got this!:
Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful & practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest... Not a person who takes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to nfriends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who nreally get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over it if that trust is ever broken.
Oh yes, if you have the time do help me do a short survey for teenagers at http://www.my3q.com/home2/110/cutieangel89/ELIT_survey.phtml-- >_<
Today's presentaion & report: Okay, I've never felt like I let myself down this much before in my entire life...... I screwed up the presentation, I screwed up the report. Someone asked me "what happened" and I actually thought about it. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Nothing happened, and that's exactly why we failed so miserably. You look at us and the first thing you think is "gosh, not another of those stupid presentations... Can they just hurry up?" You look at the group after us, and you'll think "OMG. How on earth...... How did they...? What wonderful..." And then you'll just forget what you're saying in your awe and just shut up.
Yes, see the difference? Our group was the worst in the class. And you know what? This isn't the first time. I screwed up the first report for another subject too. How wonderful, Angeline. How wonderful. So much for wanting to get good results. Keep this up and you'll be lucky just scraping it through. Two more reports for 2 subjects...
Programming: Yes, the only way I can redeem myself. But really, do I really wanna just see _ONE_ miserable A on my report card and F for the rest of it? No way, man. No way.
Signing off... ...
Plummeting back into reality......
Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful & practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest... Not a person who takes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to nfriends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who nreally get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over it if that trust is ever broken.
Oh yes, if you have the time do help me do a short survey for teenagers at http://www.my3q.com/home2/110/cutieangel89/ELIT_survey.phtml-- >_<
Today's presentaion & report: Okay, I've never felt like I let myself down this much before in my entire life...... I screwed up the presentation, I screwed up the report. Someone asked me "what happened" and I actually thought about it. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Nothing happened, and that's exactly why we failed so miserably. You look at us and the first thing you think is "gosh, not another of those stupid presentations... Can they just hurry up?" You look at the group after us, and you'll think "OMG. How on earth...... How did they...? What wonderful..." And then you'll just forget what you're saying in your awe and just shut up.
Yes, see the difference? Our group was the worst in the class. And you know what? This isn't the first time. I screwed up the first report for another subject too. How wonderful, Angeline. How wonderful. So much for wanting to get good results. Keep this up and you'll be lucky just scraping it through. Two more reports for 2 subjects...
Programming: Yes, the only way I can redeem myself. But really, do I really wanna just see _ONE_ miserable A on my report card and F for the rest of it? No way, man. No way.
Signing off... ...
Plummeting back into reality......
Tuesday, 23 May 2006
Test and SMIT scholarship
Some random quiz I did :
The emoticon that represents you best is the Winking Face
Which Emoticon Are You?
Brought to you by Tickle
Alienating the girls? NO!!: Okay, I've tried hanging around with the girls in my class (like the entire group of them) for some time and I realise why I always end up separated from them anyway... It's like, they always split from the rest of the class, and like... I just can't bring myself to stay outside the class and stroll in late on purpose >_< Like err, what happened to punctuality?? Sigh, ah well. But I must say, they're all still really nice people~ Still love talking to them and all~ But it sucks that because of that I'm getting nicknames from club. And I can't help it if one of my closer friends happens to be a guy!! HELLO!!! I had Chelsea in the past and like the entire club knew about her. -_-" gahh. Why couldn't they have said that I was going out with Chelsea?? Discrimination, that's what it is. Ah well.
Classmates: Yesh, there are some people in my class that are well... like... I dunno... Like 'manda sometimes... Sometimes they're just so sweet and cute that I feel like cuddling them and going 'aww!' Or maybe that's just because they helped out when I was getting rather pissed and irritated with some people. ^^;; If it weren't for them, I'd have broken down and
SMIT Scholarship thingy: Okay, I err, don't know how it happened, but I got it ^^;; First things first, the first thing I thought when I heard the news was 'What? Why isn't it ________ or ________ or sth?' Didn't really feel like I deserved it since the others were like really really nice and incredible people.... I really gave up all hope before I even went in for the interview... But I guess it might have been because of that that I managed to talk to the directors normally and all. Or it could have been because of my CCA points (from what I heard from inside news)
Met a semi-new nice person there-- Clarence (the senior. Semi-new cause I heard about him from 2 clubmates before). Jon, Clarence & Edwin were really great company before and after the interview... =D Yepz, I know this is gonna sound extremely cheesy, but I still wanna thank some people for their encouragement and stuff and telling me to go for it anyway even though I had half the mind to walk out of it... Let's see now... 'Manda, Jon, Clarence (the senior) and Clarence (the lecturer). =) Yepz. Thanks a mil guys!
Signing off... ...
The emoticon that represents you best is the Winking Face
Which Emoticon Are You?
Brought to you by Tickle
Alienating the girls? NO!!: Okay, I've tried hanging around with the girls in my class (like the entire group of them) for some time and I realise why I always end up separated from them anyway... It's like, they always split from the rest of the class, and like... I just can't bring myself to stay outside the class and stroll in late on purpose >_< Like err, what happened to punctuality?? Sigh, ah well. But I must say, they're all still really nice people~ Still love talking to them and all~ But it sucks that because of that I'm getting nicknames from club. And I can't help it if one of my closer friends happens to be a guy!! HELLO!!! I had Chelsea in the past and like the entire club knew about her. -_-" gahh. Why couldn't they have said that I was going out with Chelsea?? Discrimination, that's what it is. Ah well.
Classmates: Yesh, there are some people in my class that are well... like... I dunno... Like 'manda sometimes... Sometimes they're just so sweet and cute that I feel like cuddling them and going 'aww!' Or maybe that's just because they helped out when I was getting rather pissed and irritated with some people. ^^;; If it weren't for them, I'd have broken down and
SMIT Scholarship thingy: Okay, I err, don't know how it happened, but I got it ^^;; First things first, the first thing I thought when I heard the news was 'What? Why isn't it ________ or ________ or sth?' Didn't really feel like I deserved it since the others were like really really nice and incredible people.... I really gave up all hope before I even went in for the interview... But I guess it might have been because of that that I managed to talk to the directors normally and all. Or it could have been because of my CCA points (from what I heard from inside news)
Met a semi-new nice person there-- Clarence (the senior. Semi-new cause I heard about him from 2 clubmates before). Jon, Clarence & Edwin were really great company before and after the interview... =D Yepz, I know this is gonna sound extremely cheesy, but I still wanna thank some people for their encouragement and stuff and telling me to go for it anyway even though I had half the mind to walk out of it... Let's see now... 'Manda, Jon, Clarence (the senior) and Clarence (the lecturer). =) Yepz. Thanks a mil guys!
Signing off... ...
Tuesday, 2 May 2006
The Identical Windows, patterns now disturbed
Passing
from window to window,
Multiple images swarm in sight.
Symmetrical patterns
Embedded in glass,
the first, no diferent from the next.
Each detail, by
insignificant detail
manufactured exquisitely,
Identically.
The moth rests,
against the cool glass,
a ripple now created
in the dark, quiet waters.
It grows dazed, and
flutters around restlessly
to find a place to stop,
to belong.
Futile efforts ensue
second after second,
minute after minute,
hour after hour,
Unwanted.
Two dissimilar entities,
Encapsulate an attempt to connect, as
Strong currents
now run underwater.
--------------------------------------------
^^;; Heyz~ I know some people are gonna say that my 'poem' entries are always angsty... but this time it's different!! This time, it's a fight going on! Heheh... This poem is somewhat related to some of my entries a week ago, if I'm not wrong. Anywayz, comments will be much appreciated!
Schoolwork: Gosh I've been slacking for ages now... It's time I pulled myself back together... Gotta stop playing so much... I've gotta buck up. >_<
Signing off... ...
from window to window,
Multiple images swarm in sight.
Symmetrical patterns
Embedded in glass,
the first, no diferent from the next.
Each detail, by
insignificant detail
manufactured exquisitely,
Identically.
The moth rests,
against the cool glass,
a ripple now created
in the dark, quiet waters.
It grows dazed, and
flutters around restlessly
to find a place to stop,
to belong.
Futile efforts ensue
second after second,
minute after minute,
hour after hour,
Unwanted.
Two dissimilar entities,
Encapsulate an attempt to connect, as
Strong currents
now run underwater.
--------------------------------------------
^^;; Heyz~ I know some people are gonna say that my 'poem' entries are always angsty... but this time it's different!! This time, it's a fight going on! Heheh... This poem is somewhat related to some of my entries a week ago, if I'm not wrong. Anywayz, comments will be much appreciated!
Schoolwork: Gosh I've been slacking for ages now... It's time I pulled myself back together... Gotta stop playing so much... I've gotta buck up. >_<
Signing off... ...
Thursday, 27 April 2006
Class humanity and society conformation
Class: Yesh! I felt like a bit of my humanity was seeping back into me today... ^^;; Okay, I felt bad when my buddy-class came in for programming prac... cause I wasn't sitting with Jon & co for the first time these 2 weeks... It's absolutely NOT because booth duty was over. I don't know... I just found someone I could hang out with in my class and just managed to stick with him at lunch... *sigh* It was... rather quiet, actually. Never felt so quiet during pracs before for some odd reason. Or maybe that was because of Shawn (one of my buddy-classmates) always being somewhere in the vicinity. ^^;;
Humanity: Okay, to the explanation... I left the com lab at 5.15or so... Which was a good 1 hour and 15 minutes longer than practical. And I spent (more than?) half of my time in the lab helping my friends ^^ Heheh, I felt like I had been transported back to a year ago~ When everything was nice and good and happy in class ^^;; And my 'constant' in class may just have revealed itself, now that Chelsea's no longer with me (sigh) ... Just maybe.
On a side note...: Is it really that great to conform to society's expectations, and misled mindsets of women and whatever else? I mean, look at the ads you stumble upon everytime you surf... "Hey, look. This woman was what, 80kg before, now she's 50!" Amazing, don't you think? What will! What perseverance! What bullshit! -_-" Sorry... I mean, okay, it _is_ rather admirable of her to be able to lose so much weight... It's not the process of losing weight that I'm pissed over. It's the fact that men seem to like girls skinny now, so everyone promptly becomes skinny. Like, if the lady looks like she'll be a healthy weight at 52, she has to be 45kg. Whyever so? o.O You're not on this earth to be eye candy... *coughs* At least, not on purpose... *coughbishiescough* you're not here to try to seduce every man or women on earth either right? Hm. Or maybe I'm just thinking too much.
Signing off... ... (rattling on)
Humanity: Okay, to the explanation... I left the com lab at 5.15or so... Which was a good 1 hour and 15 minutes longer than practical. And I spent (more than?) half of my time in the lab helping my friends ^^ Heheh, I felt like I had been transported back to a year ago~ When everything was nice and good and happy in class ^^;; And my 'constant' in class may just have revealed itself, now that Chelsea's no longer with me (sigh) ... Just maybe.
On a side note...: Is it really that great to conform to society's expectations, and misled mindsets of women and whatever else? I mean, look at the ads you stumble upon everytime you surf... "Hey, look. This woman was what, 80kg before, now she's 50!" Amazing, don't you think? What will! What perseverance! What bullshit! -_-" Sorry... I mean, okay, it _is_ rather admirable of her to be able to lose so much weight... It's not the process of losing weight that I'm pissed over. It's the fact that men seem to like girls skinny now, so everyone promptly becomes skinny. Like, if the lady looks like she'll be a healthy weight at 52, she has to be 45kg. Whyever so? o.O You're not on this earth to be eye candy... *coughs* At least, not on purpose... *coughbishiescough* you're not here to try to seduce every man or women on earth either right? Hm. Or maybe I'm just thinking too much.
Signing off... ... (rattling on)
Tuesday, 25 April 2006
P&P and BFs
Pride and prejudice: Yepz, I watched it twice over the weekend and had to return it on monday... Darn. sigh. Will be keeping an eye out for the VCD from now on... >_<>_< Anyway, you see the pattern? Snarry and now this? Much similarities don't you think? ;) Heh. Probably still love Snarry more though... =P
BFs: Gah. It must be some kinda virus spreading throughout the world... I've had a million people asking me 'Is there any guy you like?' or 'Do you have a bf?' or stuff along those lines the past week (okay, I'm exaggerating... maybe about 5 - 10?) For the last time, no. >_<
Signing off... ...
BFs: Gah. It must be some kinda virus spreading throughout the world... I've had a million people asking me 'Is there any guy you like?' or 'Do you have a bf?' or stuff along those lines the past week (okay, I'm exaggerating... maybe about 5 - 10?) For the last time, no. >_<
Signing off... ...
Saturday, 22 April 2006
First week of school and cBoard
Fri - best day of the week: Yippee!! Heheh, yest was really the best I felt in my entire week~ Didn't really feel like the odd one out in school, left school early (like at 3+, the earliest ever in months!) and had my GEM, Mathematical puzzles and games, which was like ultra fun and I actually found quite a few of my friends!! =D=D But hm, now that it's no longer Friday, I feel extremely guilty cause of a lot of things... Sigh. Ah well. But for now, my GEM class will be my anchor for the week~ ^^
cBoard: Yepz, changed my tagboard ^^;; Thanks to Jonathan! Now you can err... bold or italise your words, or add colour to it if I'm not wrong ^^;; Hm. From now on i'll use 'Yuuki' in the taggy instead of chan ^^ If the colour combi looks bad tell me k? I kinda err, still suck at colour combis... Ah well.
Photo-essay result and prize: I'm not sure if I blogged about this before... but I entered the Japanese photo essay competition sometime in nov/dec if I'm not wrong... and well. Got the first prize for my category cause I was the only one that participated in it -_-" Anyway, one of my clubmates, Gary, accompanied me to collect my prizes on Wed I think, and I got myself some kino vouchers and stuff~ ^^ Heehee. Gonna get myself an organiser so I can actually start managing my life well. ^^;; Or as well as possible.
Bad memory: Err, actually wanted to blog 'bout a load of other stuff, but I kinda forgot a good 3/4 of it... So I guess this'll haveta do ^^;;
Signing off... ...
cBoard: Yepz, changed my tagboard ^^;; Thanks to Jonathan! Now you can err... bold or italise your words, or add colour to it if I'm not wrong ^^;; Hm. From now on i'll use 'Yuuki' in the taggy instead of chan ^^ If the colour combi looks bad tell me k? I kinda err, still suck at colour combis... Ah well.
Photo-essay result and prize: I'm not sure if I blogged about this before... but I entered the Japanese photo essay competition sometime in nov/dec if I'm not wrong... and well. Got the first prize for my category cause I was the only one that participated in it -_-" Anyway, one of my clubmates, Gary, accompanied me to collect my prizes on Wed I think, and I got myself some kino vouchers and stuff~ ^^ Heehee. Gonna get myself an organiser so I can actually start managing my life well. ^^;; Or as well as possible.
Bad memory: Err, actually wanted to blog 'bout a load of other stuff, but I kinda forgot a good 3/4 of it... So I guess this'll haveta do ^^;;
Signing off... ...
Tuesday, 18 April 2006
Mistaken Identity
Class: Gah, screw my previous post. Something screwed up with the system beforehand and I didn't check again... I'm not in the class I thought I was in. So I'm still with the guys from the class I was in last year. *sighs* Ah well. So much for good influence and breaking out of my shell. In lectures I feel like I'm running over to the other class... and still feel out of place... Complicated. Ultra complicated... >_<
Disconnection and stress: Now my class has a clash of my class and club people... and I'm not liking it. It sends my emotions on a roller coaster ride and makes me feel split. Like I'm getting stretched more and more each session, and am not sure whether I can stay in one piece. I'm trying to step out of my safe zone, and the transition is the cause of the stretching. If I manage to make a successful transition, I'll be tired, but happy. But if I fail....... I'll get torn. That won't be pretty. I've been feeling super suffocated and distressed... and guess what? It's only the second day of school! -_-" Stress.
Signing off... ...
Disconnection and stress: Now my class has a clash of my class and club people... and I'm not liking it. It sends my emotions on a roller coaster ride and makes me feel split. Like I'm getting stretched more and more each session, and am not sure whether I can stay in one piece. I'm trying to step out of my safe zone, and the transition is the cause of the stretching. If I manage to make a successful transition, I'll be tired, but happy. But if I fail....... I'll get torn. That won't be pretty. I've been feeling super suffocated and distressed... and guess what? It's only the second day of school! -_-" Stress.
Signing off... ...
Saturday, 15 April 2006
Camp, class & quiz
Heyz people!! Just nicked this test thingy from Jonathan's blog... Hm. One or two sections may be inaccurate though... *coughs* That probably resulted from my lack of understanding for some of the questions... ^^;; Ah well... Mouse over the different sections to see what it represents.
School start!!: Sigh, school starts on monday... So much for the hols... I haven't really had a day of rest yet... Hopefully that'll change from tomorrow ^^;;;
Class: Okiez, I'm quite glad~ I'm in the same class as Jonathan, SQ and Shawn... Basically the smart people and those I can communicate with. ^^ That's... well. Good. I need the good influence. And they can basically kick me back into reality and in worst cases cause me to hide in one corner as I realise how little I know... ^^;; _That's_ how good they are. Ah well... Jonathan's the only one that managed to maintain his aggregate of 4.0... SQ didn't maintain, but still got higher than me... And Shawn? He's good in everything else =S Those are the same 3 that made it into CYA (Changi Youth Ambassadors) while I got kicked out... >_< Is that good or bad?
Camp: Yesh, FO Camp is FINALLY over!! I feel so bad though!! I fell asleep during one of the night activities at like 1am? And only woke up at like 5am... like what, an hour before the activity ended? Sigh... Basically I made myself useless during camp... BUT!!! It was still fun!! ^^;; I really did much less than what I expected myself to do... Drained myself of all energy and went below expectations... but, it was fun. ^_^
Signing off... ...
School start!!: Sigh, school starts on monday... So much for the hols... I haven't really had a day of rest yet... Hopefully that'll change from tomorrow ^^;;;
Class: Okiez, I'm quite glad~ I'm in the same class as Jonathan, SQ and Shawn... Basically the smart people and those I can communicate with. ^^ That's... well. Good. I need the good influence. And they can basically kick me back into reality and in worst cases cause me to hide in one corner as I realise how little I know... ^^;; _That's_ how good they are. Ah well... Jonathan's the only one that managed to maintain his aggregate of 4.0... SQ didn't maintain, but still got higher than me... And Shawn? He's good in everything else =S Those are the same 3 that made it into CYA (Changi Youth Ambassadors) while I got kicked out... >_< Is that good or bad?
Camp: Yesh, FO Camp is FINALLY over!! I feel so bad though!! I fell asleep during one of the night activities at like 1am? And only woke up at like 5am... like what, an hour before the activity ended? Sigh... Basically I made myself useless during camp... BUT!!! It was still fun!! ^^;; I really did much less than what I expected myself to do... Drained myself of all energy and went below expectations... but, it was fun. ^_^
Signing off... ...
Sunday, 26 March 2006
Haircut and camp and cosplay plans and results
Heyz...
Test, again: Hm, when I did the animal test again a month ago or so I got a slightly different result......
You Are A: Duckling!
The cutest of the cute, these baby ducks are often spotted in the spring following closely behind their mother. As a duckling you will grow up quickly, becoming one of the adult ducks seen commonly in ponds and streams. Playful and timid, charming and vulnerable, ducklings are nature's very definition of innocence.You were almost a: Chipmunk or a Lamb
You are least like a: Bear Cub or a Puppy
Cosplay: WHEE!!! Cosplay coming up again!! As in, in a group~ OMG can't wait~~~ Will be doing Bleach with Skye and Ignited for EoY... As for Cosfest... I guess I'll just go with Howl... Gah, a Howl without earrings... and without a Sophie... ='( Hope I don't screw it up this time...... Need to dig my previous golden chain out again for my necklace...
Camp: Prep camp will be this wed... till sat, then the real camp will be on the 6th... Omg, busy busy busy... Don't really know whether I'm looking forward to camp or not ^^;;; Throat screwing up again... >_<>
Slippers: Heheh, I suddenly got 2 new slippers that look... well, like they're meant to be worn out. In other words, girly. Hm. One of them is okay ^^;; the other one I'm bringing to camp... OMG the horror... It's a flip flop you know!! *dies* It's gonna be ubber uncomfortable. And noisy. Gah.
My hair: WAH I went for a haircut and it's now SHORT!! Crap!!! And like ALL my rebonded hair is like cut off. But at least it looks better than before sec 4... All my close friends and sec school friends will know... And jap class friends... Gosh, but at least it's err, slightly tie-able (is there even such a word??). It's like wavy everywhere and pong-ing everywhere. Never had short hair since what, primary 2? And I can still remember my teachers' reactions: "Angeline, did you perm your hair??", "Angeline, you know that perming is not allowed right?" Oh gosh. Let's hope history doesn't repeat itself...
My results: Err, got my results back... =S Was in trauma and shock... And so disappointed with myself... I got a B and a B+... Which means my Grade Point Average (GPA) got reduced from 4 to 3.8+ (the higher the better)... And I'm the worst out of my friends who got 4 last sem too... But after much scoldings and encouragement (from 'manda) I've decided... I'M GONNA COME BACK STRONG THE NEXT SEM AND (although I know I can never be at the top again) STOP SLACKING!! SCREW THEM!! SCREW THOSE WHO PUT ME DOWN!! I'M COMIN BACK!! >_<
Signing off... ...
Friday, 24 February 2006
What cute animal are you?
Heyz- Just here to post some weird quiz I did ^^;; Got it off William's blog =P
You Are A: Lamb!
Peaceful and gentle, lambs have been used in religious imagery for millennia. Lambs are baby sheep, an animal tended by shephards since the dawn of history. As a lamb, you tend to stay together in a flock and graze on grassy land. Lambs don't mind being led and tend not to go off on their own.You were almost a: Monkey or a Duck
You are least like a: Squirrel or a BunnyWhat Cute Animal Are You?
Fun-o-rama: Yep, went for fun-o-rama like a week ago, but was too lazy to blog about it. It was... fun. ^_^ Saw the ENTIRE RHOMBUS!!!! *bounces around* Walked around with 'manda, and we spent all our coupons on food *drools* Good food, too ;)
Saw the other 'manda, and we were like... err. Threatened. To go for her class' Haunted house thing ^^;; She kinda toppled a can of drink along the way and we took that chance to scamper. *coughs* Ah well. We didn't have enough dough for that attraction, couldn't blame us >_<
Was really great fun that day~ =)
Exams: Gah. 2 more exams to go... Ends on wed~ Yippee! =D *sighs* But then again I haven't studied for them =S So *coughs* Guess there's really nothing for me to be so happy about. *feels guilty* Okok, shall go study now...
Signing off... ...
Monday, 20 February 2006
The pillar
The strong Pillar
Stands alone
in the middle of the open space.
Reaching the skies
disappearing through the clouds,
Towering over the people of the town.
Sudden gusts of wind
Blow
in all directions.
And the Pillar
Wobbles
to and fro.
No longer Strong and
Powerful.
Another storm blows
with Strong Gusts of Wind
and It finally
Breaks.
Over it Topples,
Falling closer and
Closer to Earth with increasing
Speed.
No one to stop the fall
as the pillar
succumbs to gravity
and pressure.
It falls,
with a Thundering Thud
as It Hits
the ground.
Beaten, and
Worn out.
no longer strong,
no longer tall.
Finally defeated,
the pillar lies still,
Alone
in the open space.
Signing off... ...
Stands alone
in the middle of the open space.
Reaching the skies
disappearing through the clouds,
Towering over the people of the town.
Sudden gusts of wind
Blow
in all directions.
And the Pillar
Wobbles
to and fro.
No longer Strong and
Powerful.
Another storm blows
with Strong Gusts of Wind
and It finally
Breaks.
Over it Topples,
Falling closer and
Closer to Earth with increasing
Speed.
No one to stop the fall
as the pillar
succumbs to gravity
and pressure.
It falls,
with a Thundering Thud
as It Hits
the ground.
Beaten, and
Worn out.
no longer strong,
no longer tall.
Finally defeated,
the pillar lies still,
Alone
in the open space.
Signing off... ...
Saturday, 11 February 2006
JAE n disappointment
Yepz wanted to blog about today~
JAE duty: YEAH this was so much more fun than the CCF (course and career fair) that I helped out at the other time... Cause we just had to stick to our booth. ^^ And no stupid flyers to give out~ I got sick of standing around and doing nothing and getting all my favourite 'customers' (those asking about the game diploma) stolen by other helpers or lecturers after 11am, so I ended up whining to the other helpers. Err, kinda ^^;;
I told my friend too (one of those who stole my game customer) that I wanted to try to handle the next game enquiry if possible. After that, most of the group starting helping me to look out for 'customers', especially the girls ^^ Kinda embarassing, actually, cause one of them would suddenly scream "Angeline!! Game!", and then smile at the parents and continue, "You can ask her." ^^;;; Gosh, so embarassing!! Obviously everytime I hear that I'd like run over ^^;;
But it was really fun, and I felt so useful after that ^_^ Sadly everyone was leaving at 1, so I left with them too. Wanted to stay a little longer to see if Lace was coming, but she didn't, anyway ^^;; Ah well.
Food: Stuffed myself with lotsa food. Went for 2 rounds of the buffet teabreak during my duty, went for lunch at LJS and ate food enough for like 1 and a half people (cause the half was from one of my friends who couldn't finish her food). Went for jap class, ate some more, felt sick, returned home, and ate dinner. Oh gosh =S My poor tummy.
Disappointment: The _only_ disappointment of the day I guess. Some idiot, whom I shall call guy Z, kept smsing me disturbing messages throughout the day and refused to stop. Got darn pissed. Smsed Amanda about stuff-- After that, everytime I saw 'new message' I will start hoping that the name attached to it would be 'Allamanda', but well. It wasn't most of the time ^^; Got rather frustrated and irritated and disgusted cause more often than not guy Z's name would be the one attached to the message.
Ah well: The ONLY downside and wet blanket to the entire day. Sigh. Other than that, I had a great day. Saw Desiree and Nina on my way back from class too~ ^^Talked to Desiree. Martina was with her- wanted to say hi but she like saw me, looked awkward, and looked away. ;;;;;; Ah well. Loved everything today save for the harassing messages. Loved the duty, loved the food, loved the people, loved the other messages received, loved jap class (though I almost fell asleep a couple of times), loved my trip back from class, loved lunch, and dinner~
Great day, today.
Signing off... ...
JAE duty: YEAH this was so much more fun than the CCF (course and career fair) that I helped out at the other time... Cause we just had to stick to our booth. ^^ And no stupid flyers to give out~ I got sick of standing around and doing nothing and getting all my favourite 'customers' (those asking about the game diploma) stolen by other helpers or lecturers after 11am, so I ended up whining to the other helpers. Err, kinda ^^;;
I told my friend too (one of those who stole my game customer) that I wanted to try to handle the next game enquiry if possible. After that, most of the group starting helping me to look out for 'customers', especially the girls ^^ Kinda embarassing, actually, cause one of them would suddenly scream "Angeline!! Game!", and then smile at the parents and continue, "You can ask her." ^^;;; Gosh, so embarassing!! Obviously everytime I hear that I'd like run over ^^;;
But it was really fun, and I felt so useful after that ^_^ Sadly everyone was leaving at 1, so I left with them too. Wanted to stay a little longer to see if Lace was coming, but she didn't, anyway ^^;; Ah well.
Food: Stuffed myself with lotsa food. Went for 2 rounds of the buffet teabreak during my duty, went for lunch at LJS and ate food enough for like 1 and a half people (cause the half was from one of my friends who couldn't finish her food). Went for jap class, ate some more, felt sick, returned home, and ate dinner. Oh gosh =S My poor tummy.
Disappointment: The _only_ disappointment of the day I guess. Some idiot, whom I shall call guy Z, kept smsing me disturbing messages throughout the day and refused to stop. Got darn pissed. Smsed Amanda about stuff-- After that, everytime I saw 'new message' I will start hoping that the name attached to it would be 'Allamanda', but well. It wasn't most of the time ^^; Got rather frustrated and irritated and disgusted cause more often than not guy Z's name would be the one attached to the message.
Ah well: The ONLY downside and wet blanket to the entire day. Sigh. Other than that, I had a great day. Saw Desiree and Nina on my way back from class too~ ^^Talked to Desiree. Martina was with her- wanted to say hi but she like saw me, looked awkward, and looked away. ;;;;;; Ah well. Loved everything today save for the harassing messages. Loved the duty, loved the food, loved the people, loved the other messages received, loved jap class (though I almost fell asleep a couple of times), loved my trip back from class, loved lunch, and dinner~
Great day, today.
Signing off... ...
Wednesday, 8 February 2006
HeyZ~ I'm BACK! ^^;; Okay, on with the updating~ I know many of you probably like gave up checking my blog and everything ^^;; Thanks for checking again!
CYA failure: CYA = Changi Youth Ambassador. Okay, I failed the interview, so I didn't manage to get in... ^^;; My mum told me that it was probably because of my sickness that day and joked about me probably coughing too much and talking too softly so they decided not to choose me. I guess it's true that being sick might have affected me a bit that day, but I think it just shows that I'm not cut out for those kinda outgoing jobs-- Unless I'm totally not nervous or someone in my team screws up in front of me. Thank goodness I chose IT~ ^^ I'd die in like... sales or business or something ^^;;; Ah well.
Assignments: Screwed. Screwed up everything big time this semester. My programming teacher was 'disappointed' in 2 of my works so far... Err, and there only has been 2 passed up. *wonders* If that isn't screwed, I dunno what is. That's my best subject, by the way. The rest is like... errrrr... no better.... Millions of assignments gonna be due within the next week and the week after that should be my exam week. *shudders* Wish me luck~!
CCA: Oh gosh, busy busy busy. I have neglected 2 out of 3 of my duties cause of other briefings and stuff I have at the exact same time. Neglected my duty as a treasurer for some time too... Also neglected my part in one of my assignments... Gosh, so so so guilty... Gonna start bucking up from now!!
Skye came!: Skye came to my school to sell fun-o-rama tickets~ It was rather funny ^^;; I ran out of the class to meet her (and told chelsea to call me straightaway if it was our turn for the interview) and then walked around and bought a plate of food with her. Then, we went to buy a drink. Even before I could eat my food, Chelsea called, and said 'she said you better come back now' or something like that... so it meant that the teacher had been waiting for some time now. I ran all the way back up, and Chelsea told me that she thought I was with a junior so she wanted to give me more time... -_-;; Hm. Right... Just glad we didn't get into trouble.
Anyway, after that, I used the fact that I had left all my stuff downstairs as a reason and trotted back down to the foodcourt (ran, more like) to finish eating my food and to talk to Skye a little longer. After realising that I had missed like a third of the lesson, I ran back up, again. All the in-between times when I tried to ask some people I know whether they were interested to go for the fun-o-rama err. Skye kinda scared some off with her enthusiasm ^^;; I thought it was funny to see my friends scampering away~ Heheheh... Some guy.
Then apologised to my duty mates, walked Skye and company to the MRT on the way to LT1 and then had a boring briefing, where the PA system kept screwing up and making weird noises. Rather interesting. ;)
Quotations: We had to settle some T-shirt quotations for my CCA, and we had some problems getting our hands on the design... Once we did, we headed down to the T-shirt company, got lost, liased with the assistant, left cause the boss wasn't there, and headed back to school for the proposal-making, where all of us sat there redundantly. Hm.
50% childish?: Yes, that's about the normal rate for the guys in my school. Sad, ain't it. Ah well. Might be more, who knows. I'm giving a large amount the benifit of the doubt. Only 20% I can communicate really well with. 80% use hokkien vulgarities, 3/4 speak in chinese, and well... Can't really remember any more ^^;; I can feel the communication breakdown really strongly. *shudders*
Fun-o-rama: Currently don't really have people to go with me... If you're interested tell me kay?? 18 feb 9 - 6, but i'll only be going lie after 12 or sth...
Signing off... ...
CYA failure: CYA = Changi Youth Ambassador. Okay, I failed the interview, so I didn't manage to get in... ^^;; My mum told me that it was probably because of my sickness that day and joked about me probably coughing too much and talking too softly so they decided not to choose me. I guess it's true that being sick might have affected me a bit that day, but I think it just shows that I'm not cut out for those kinda outgoing jobs-- Unless I'm totally not nervous or someone in my team screws up in front of me. Thank goodness I chose IT~ ^^ I'd die in like... sales or business or something ^^;;; Ah well.
Assignments: Screwed. Screwed up everything big time this semester. My programming teacher was 'disappointed' in 2 of my works so far... Err, and there only has been 2 passed up. *wonders* If that isn't screwed, I dunno what is. That's my best subject, by the way. The rest is like... errrrr... no better.... Millions of assignments gonna be due within the next week and the week after that should be my exam week. *shudders* Wish me luck~!
CCA: Oh gosh, busy busy busy. I have neglected 2 out of 3 of my duties cause of other briefings and stuff I have at the exact same time. Neglected my duty as a treasurer for some time too... Also neglected my part in one of my assignments... Gosh, so so so guilty... Gonna start bucking up from now!!
Skye came!: Skye came to my school to sell fun-o-rama tickets~ It was rather funny ^^;; I ran out of the class to meet her (and told chelsea to call me straightaway if it was our turn for the interview) and then walked around and bought a plate of food with her. Then, we went to buy a drink. Even before I could eat my food, Chelsea called, and said 'she said you better come back now' or something like that... so it meant that the teacher had been waiting for some time now. I ran all the way back up, and Chelsea told me that she thought I was with a junior so she wanted to give me more time... -_-;; Hm. Right... Just glad we didn't get into trouble.
Anyway, after that, I used the fact that I had left all my stuff downstairs as a reason and trotted back down to the foodcourt (ran, more like) to finish eating my food and to talk to Skye a little longer. After realising that I had missed like a third of the lesson, I ran back up, again. All the in-between times when I tried to ask some people I know whether they were interested to go for the fun-o-rama err. Skye kinda scared some off with her enthusiasm ^^;; I thought it was funny to see my friends scampering away~ Heheheh... Some guy.
Then apologised to my duty mates, walked Skye and company to the MRT on the way to LT1 and then had a boring briefing, where the PA system kept screwing up and making weird noises. Rather interesting. ;)
Quotations: We had to settle some T-shirt quotations for my CCA, and we had some problems getting our hands on the design... Once we did, we headed down to the T-shirt company, got lost, liased with the assistant, left cause the boss wasn't there, and headed back to school for the proposal-making, where all of us sat there redundantly. Hm.
50% childish?: Yes, that's about the normal rate for the guys in my school. Sad, ain't it. Ah well. Might be more, who knows. I'm giving a large amount the benifit of the doubt. Only 20% I can communicate really well with. 80% use hokkien vulgarities, 3/4 speak in chinese, and well... Can't really remember any more ^^;; I can feel the communication breakdown really strongly. *shudders*
Fun-o-rama: Currently don't really have people to go with me... If you're interested tell me kay?? 18 feb 9 - 6, but i'll only be going lie after 12 or sth...
Signing off... ...
Wednesday, 4 January 2006
Left behind
A year: It feels like it's been a million and one days since I left SC, when it's been only about a year. 366 days ago I stepped into NYJC feeling slightly apprehensive, but excited. Approximately 4 or 5 months later, I entered SP, feeling utterly freaked. Half a year I've been in SP, and all my friends (those in JC at least) have entered year 2.
Stuck: I feel stunted, still being in year 1. All of us left school at the same time, yet somehow I feel like everyone's moving ahead on a bullet train while I'm on a bus, stuck in a traffic jam. There's still the phone to communicate, but the routes and everything are different, and I can only feel like I'm moving further and further away from everyone every single day.
My brainpower's deteoriating, my determination, though stregthened during my first semester, is slowly withering now. The stress and feeling of being used by my own classmates are slowly gnawing at my patience and extinguishing my fire.
Ladder: A few weeks ago I wrote something in class about a ladder - how I felt that a lot of friends, who were once alongside me, were moving up and up the ladder, while I stop and turn back, noticing that my other friends are still below. I wondered then, whether I should continue on up or go back down to help my friends up. Since then, I still haven't made my decision, and am still stuck in the middle. The slower ones catching up with me, and the ones alongside me moving on and leaving me behind. That's _exactly_ how I feel now.
New Year: The new year is supposed to mark a new beginning, a time where you can make your decisions and resolutions and work on them- To me now, though, it's nothing more than a distraction to my studies and a reminder of how I chose the rocky road instead of the main one.
Good luck!: For those who are in JC, I wish you all good luck in the coming year in your As!! And yes, HAPPY belated NEW YEAR!
Signing off... ...
Stuck: I feel stunted, still being in year 1. All of us left school at the same time, yet somehow I feel like everyone's moving ahead on a bullet train while I'm on a bus, stuck in a traffic jam. There's still the phone to communicate, but the routes and everything are different, and I can only feel like I'm moving further and further away from everyone every single day.
My brainpower's deteoriating, my determination, though stregthened during my first semester, is slowly withering now. The stress and feeling of being used by my own classmates are slowly gnawing at my patience and extinguishing my fire.
Ladder: A few weeks ago I wrote something in class about a ladder - how I felt that a lot of friends, who were once alongside me, were moving up and up the ladder, while I stop and turn back, noticing that my other friends are still below. I wondered then, whether I should continue on up or go back down to help my friends up. Since then, I still haven't made my decision, and am still stuck in the middle. The slower ones catching up with me, and the ones alongside me moving on and leaving me behind. That's _exactly_ how I feel now.
New Year: The new year is supposed to mark a new beginning, a time where you can make your decisions and resolutions and work on them- To me now, though, it's nothing more than a distraction to my studies and a reminder of how I chose the rocky road instead of the main one.
Good luck!: For those who are in JC, I wish you all good luck in the coming year in your As!! And yes, HAPPY belated NEW YEAR!
Signing off... ...
Bag and keychain, and MSTs begin.
I'm starting to feel extremely frustrated.
MSTs: My Mid-semester tests (MSTs) started on Tuesday, and the last two papers have been utter crap. I can't believe I lost like 10 marks at a time... I don't think I will be able to get good marks for those two papers anymore...... ='( Tomorrow's my best subject, but somehow, from the way things are going, I feel like it won't be good. Since today's paper, I've had a strong sense of foreboding come over me. If I can't score for the next 2 papers.... *shudders* I don't really want to think about it. The only good thing is that there's still the end-of-module examinations to pull me up. That is, if I do well in those. *sighs*
Unlucky stuff: Okay, first. Most know that my pencil box is gone... The pencil box that my brother gave me and I loved a lot. Along with my thumbdrive. My pencil box had my lucky neoprints and stuff in it, and was what sat with me through my Os, and my 1st sem tests. That was ookkayyy. After all I still had my bag and the keychain Skye gave me.
Right. After I came back from KL a few days ago, there was a slit in the back of the bag. Now, the slit stretches across the entire back. Which means that it's falling apart. Then the keychain... This morning before i sat for my test, I held my keychain like I always do. Then I realised that it felt... weird. I looked down, and waddya know? The wing that was attached to the bottom had... well. detached itself. No matter how I tried to look for it I couldn't find it. Sigh. It was like my lucky charm since I got it, and meant a lot to me.
I know it sounds funny to be mourning over all this, but to me they're all rather precious and I don't know if I'm just being silly, but it feels like some kind of premonition.
I guess I'll just have to cross my fingers and hope everything will turn out all right.
Signing off... ...
MSTs: My Mid-semester tests (MSTs) started on Tuesday, and the last two papers have been utter crap. I can't believe I lost like 10 marks at a time... I don't think I will be able to get good marks for those two papers anymore...... ='( Tomorrow's my best subject, but somehow, from the way things are going, I feel like it won't be good. Since today's paper, I've had a strong sense of foreboding come over me. If I can't score for the next 2 papers.... *shudders* I don't really want to think about it. The only good thing is that there's still the end-of-module examinations to pull me up. That is, if I do well in those. *sighs*
Unlucky stuff: Okay, first. Most know that my pencil box is gone... The pencil box that my brother gave me and I loved a lot. Along with my thumbdrive. My pencil box had my lucky neoprints and stuff in it, and was what sat with me through my Os, and my 1st sem tests. That was ookkayyy. After all I still had my bag and the keychain Skye gave me.
Right. After I came back from KL a few days ago, there was a slit in the back of the bag. Now, the slit stretches across the entire back. Which means that it's falling apart. Then the keychain... This morning before i sat for my test, I held my keychain like I always do. Then I realised that it felt... weird. I looked down, and waddya know? The wing that was attached to the bottom had... well. detached itself. No matter how I tried to look for it I couldn't find it. Sigh. It was like my lucky charm since I got it, and meant a lot to me.
I know it sounds funny to be mourning over all this, but to me they're all rather precious and I don't know if I'm just being silly, but it feels like some kind of premonition.
I guess I'll just have to cross my fingers and hope everything will turn out all right.
Signing off... ...
Thursday, 22 December 2005
Clearing things up,
Heyz people~ ^^
Clearing things up: To annony, I forgot to add-- There's a difference between 'untactful' and 'joking'. I'm sure you can tell them apart-- Thanks for understanding, in advance. That aside.......
Busy busy: Sighz, so much homework, asignments, projects, meetings and other stuff these two weeks-- So much for e-learning week. Too much stuff, and server jam. Ah well. ^^;; Ended up going back to school everyday for the past few days, and had activities yesterday from 9am to 10pm yesterday... Was dead beat-- But the volunteer work part was fun~ Had lots and LOTS of fun during that 5 hours with Jonathan and Shawn. And I made a new friend with this guy called Vivek~ ^^
Wishing Tree Launch: Yep, that was the volunteer work thingy~ There were like santa clauses (?), cute reindeers and an elf running around~ Darn cute!!! The santa clauses were like carrying sacks and giving out presents to kids and everything-- ^^ And then there was the performance, where we could slack and watch the show~ GOSH THE PERFORMERS WERE GOOD!! =^^= Got quite crappy and hyper and jumpy~ Heheh, had lots of fun~ Shawn taught Vivek to suck in helium and talk in that high-pitched voice, and made me laugh non-stop. Hadn't felt so relaxed and happy in some time~ =D
Short fuse? Or no?: Recently I've been wondering if I've been getting an extremely short fuse... Thought and thought about it, but I realised that I'm only so to a minority who are out irritate me all the time-- Only realised that today when I realised how much fun I had yesterday, even though I met so many people. Realised the reason too. I'm still struggling to learn how to deal with people who (constantly) step over the line. I never knew anyone who did that in the past, so it's still rather foreign to me. Much to learn I guess ^^;;
Christmas!: Yesh Christmas is coming!! The only bad thing is that I may very well only be doing some of my Christmas shopping after Christmas =S That is. Well. Not good. =( Ah well. But never mind, I'll figure something out~ =) CHRISTMAS TIME~ ^^ Heehee~
CF: ComicFiesta was like... last week. Couldn't go _again_. Sigh. In my entire cosplay career, not once have I gone for ComicFiesta. Missing out on a lot. Ah well. Next time, perhaps, maybe I'll be able to~ ^^ Welcome back Skye!! ^^
Malaysia trips: I'll be going to Malaysia with my family sometime next week if I'm not wrong ^^ Hope to have lotsa fun then~ But the downside would be that I'll be trudging my textbooks along to study for my Mid-Semester Tests-- Ah well.
Signing off... ...
Clearing things up: To annony, I forgot to add-- There's a difference between 'untactful' and 'joking'. I'm sure you can tell them apart-- Thanks for understanding, in advance. That aside.......
Busy busy: Sighz, so much homework, asignments, projects, meetings and other stuff these two weeks-- So much for e-learning week. Too much stuff, and server jam. Ah well. ^^;; Ended up going back to school everyday for the past few days, and had activities yesterday from 9am to 10pm yesterday... Was dead beat-- But the volunteer work part was fun~ Had lots and LOTS of fun during that 5 hours with Jonathan and Shawn. And I made a new friend with this guy called Vivek~ ^^
Wishing Tree Launch: Yep, that was the volunteer work thingy~ There were like santa clauses (?), cute reindeers and an elf running around~ Darn cute!!! The santa clauses were like carrying sacks and giving out presents to kids and everything-- ^^ And then there was the performance, where we could slack and watch the show~ GOSH THE PERFORMERS WERE GOOD!! =^^= Got quite crappy and hyper and jumpy~ Heheh, had lots of fun~ Shawn taught Vivek to suck in helium and talk in that high-pitched voice, and made me laugh non-stop. Hadn't felt so relaxed and happy in some time~ =D
Short fuse? Or no?: Recently I've been wondering if I've been getting an extremely short fuse... Thought and thought about it, but I realised that I'm only so to a minority who are out irritate me all the time-- Only realised that today when I realised how much fun I had yesterday, even though I met so many people. Realised the reason too. I'm still struggling to learn how to deal with people who (constantly) step over the line. I never knew anyone who did that in the past, so it's still rather foreign to me. Much to learn I guess ^^;;
Christmas!: Yesh Christmas is coming!! The only bad thing is that I may very well only be doing some of my Christmas shopping after Christmas =S That is. Well. Not good. =( Ah well. But never mind, I'll figure something out~ =) CHRISTMAS TIME~ ^^ Heehee~
CF: ComicFiesta was like... last week. Couldn't go _again_. Sigh. In my entire cosplay career, not once have I gone for ComicFiesta. Missing out on a lot. Ah well. Next time, perhaps, maybe I'll be able to~ ^^ Welcome back Skye!! ^^
Malaysia trips: I'll be going to Malaysia with my family sometime next week if I'm not wrong ^^ Hope to have lotsa fun then~ But the downside would be that I'll be trudging my textbooks along to study for my Mid-Semester Tests-- Ah well.
Signing off... ...
Tuesday, 13 December 2005
Regret
Regrets: The one thing I've regretted really badly is that I didn't enjoy myself thoroughly during the EOY event... It was something I have been waiting for for a YEAR and I didn't enjoy myself thoroughly. Didn't move around that much, not much pictures taken... Didn't pose much... Didn't stalk much... Didn't buy much... I spent half the time on the floor dammit. Why was I that dumb?
The taste of regret is really really bitter, and it's been weighing my heart down since Saturday... At least I learned one thing-- I will never repeat my mistake again... My poor Yukino.......
Signing off......
The taste of regret is really really bitter, and it's been weighing my heart down since Saturday... At least I learned one thing-- I will never repeat my mistake again... My poor Yukino.......
Signing off......
Sunday, 11 December 2005
AsuCaga photoshoot
Summary: Okay, today was basically, lousy mood, better mood, good mood, GREAT mood, good mood, bad mood.
AsuCaga photoshoot: Today I went for Skye and Kazeki's Athrun and Cagalli photoshoot~ Made new friends with Kazeki and Aiko~ ^^ Great people~ The photoshoot was really fun, but we did a heck lot of walking around Sentosa-- Couldn't get many good shots... =( But well. It was fun ^^ Aiko, David, Auel and I were the photographers, and Senti was the bag-carrier ^^;; Heheh...
Dinner: Then we came back to the mainland to eat dinner at Yoshinoya... Then we went to Taka to get Kazeki and Aiko their paint before they return to Malaysia tomorrow... Then guess what? Art Friends was CLOSED! Ah well... Then we headed down to Somerset and visited Inu at AA. I finally know where AA is!! ^^;;; Heehee...
Return home: Okay, my mum wasn't that mad at me for coming back late... Cause I had the sense this time to sms her and then call her when I was at Somerset-- ^^; But when I came home, I got darn pissed off.
Idiot: Okay, some IDIOT in my class kept insulting cosplay and kept complaining about how BORING yesterday's event was. And how he said he wasted 24 bucks cause he paid for his friend too. I scolded him off and told him not to insult cosplay in front of me, but he had the bloody guts to tell me no and that he WANTS to insult it in front of me. LIKE WHAT THE FREAK!!! IF YOU HAVE NO BLOODY INTEREST IN COSPLAY OR ANIME OR MANGA YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE GONE IN THE FIRST PLACE!! I DIDN'T ASK YOU TO SO THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NO REASON FOR YOU TO BLAME ME!!
You know what he's doing? It's like... picture this. A japanese food hater goes to a Japanese restaurant, pays quite a bit for the food, _eats_ the food, leaves the place, and goes to a Japanese food lover and starts flaming the restaurant, even though the food was good. Like DUH!! If you're going to act stupid and BE stupid, I have EVERY RIGHT to call you STUPID. And if you're going to be childish, untactful, rude and stupid all at once, I have the right to ignore you too. So bloody SHUT UP!!
Phew: Okay, I feel so much better. If that person sees this, he'll know I'm referring to him. Okay, that's it about my day~ Ranting post, I know ^^
Signing off...
AsuCaga photoshoot: Today I went for Skye and Kazeki's Athrun and Cagalli photoshoot~ Made new friends with Kazeki and Aiko~ ^^ Great people~ The photoshoot was really fun, but we did a heck lot of walking around Sentosa-- Couldn't get many good shots... =( But well. It was fun ^^ Aiko, David, Auel and I were the photographers, and Senti was the bag-carrier ^^;; Heheh...
Dinner: Then we came back to the mainland to eat dinner at Yoshinoya... Then we went to Taka to get Kazeki and Aiko their paint before they return to Malaysia tomorrow... Then guess what? Art Friends was CLOSED! Ah well... Then we headed down to Somerset and visited Inu at AA. I finally know where AA is!! ^^;;; Heehee...
Return home: Okay, my mum wasn't that mad at me for coming back late... Cause I had the sense this time to sms her and then call her when I was at Somerset-- ^^; But when I came home, I got darn pissed off.
Idiot: Okay, some IDIOT in my class kept insulting cosplay and kept complaining about how BORING yesterday's event was. And how he said he wasted 24 bucks cause he paid for his friend too. I scolded him off and told him not to insult cosplay in front of me, but he had the bloody guts to tell me no and that he WANTS to insult it in front of me. LIKE WHAT THE FREAK!!! IF YOU HAVE NO BLOODY INTEREST IN COSPLAY OR ANIME OR MANGA YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE GONE IN THE FIRST PLACE!! I DIDN'T ASK YOU TO SO THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NO REASON FOR YOU TO BLAME ME!!
You know what he's doing? It's like... picture this. A japanese food hater goes to a Japanese restaurant, pays quite a bit for the food, _eats_ the food, leaves the place, and goes to a Japanese food lover and starts flaming the restaurant, even though the food was good. Like DUH!! If you're going to act stupid and BE stupid, I have EVERY RIGHT to call you STUPID. And if you're going to be childish, untactful, rude and stupid all at once, I have the right to ignore you too. So bloody SHUT UP!!
Phew: Okay, I feel so much better. If that person sees this, he'll know I'm referring to him. Okay, that's it about my day~ Ranting post, I know ^^
Signing off...
Some piccys for EOY
Some cosplay piccys from EOY 2005:
Skye-- Doesn't the dress look pretty? Shtupid Haro kept making weird noises ^^;;
Skye-- Doesn't the dress look pretty? Shtupid Haro kept making weird noises ^^;;
Saturday, 10 December 2005
EOY 2005
EOY 2005 WAS TODAY!! ^^
Thanks: Very importantly, I want to thank a few people for helping me out so much-- Firstly, SKYE!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR HELPING ME DRAW IT LOOKED FABULOUS!! And also for the candy cane~ Heehee ;) Next would be... Amanda and Ang and Lynette and Mandy~ For helping me with the makeup and my costume before the thing-- Then... Clarence-- For helping my buy the Lily at the very last minute-- Yepz-- ^_^ Love you guys loads~
Event: Yesh, well... I was one-third trying to stay with Clarence, one-third trying to stay with my friends, and one-third being myself and snapping and going crazy and fangirling. ^^ It was.. well. To tell you the truth, not as fun as I thought. Not that it wasn't fun, it just... lacked something. Maybe it was because I wasn't with Skye most of the time, or maybe it was because I didn't hang out with the bunch of cosplayers I knew, or maybe it was because I didn't make any new friends-- I dunno...
Next time, I'm joining a group. I find it more fun when you're in a group and you have a place to return to, hang around a lot, stay around to help with and receive help from when preparing for the event, and go out for dinner after the event. This time, Well. Needless to say about half wasn't fulfilled-- *sigh* Ah well. But it was great fun anyway~ ^^
And oh yes!! I saw Grace today~~ ^^ *bounces around* She looked slightly different~ And everyone looked great! Especially Skye and Inu and *coughs* The bishies ;)
Stalking: No, not me... ^^;;; Mandy and Lynette went around stalking people and taking photos of them~ ^^;; Heheh... It was amusing to see their photos~ Lynette in the foreground and the target in the background. It was funny~ ^^ And then Amanda told their first target that they were stalking them (cause the target was Himu) and they had to change their target to the top-hat guy~ Heheh...
Mi costume: One bad thing about my costume? MY WIG WAS BROWN. Ya. And really, Yukino should have a haircut. Darn wig got entangled and everything... Wah. But by lord there was a RITSUKA!! AND FFAC!! And-- *goes on to rants*
Rants: It actually took me almost an hour to realise why the character looked SO FAMILIAR. And why? CAUSE HE WAS RITSUKA FROM LOVELESS!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE I WAS SO DENSE!! Then we talked a wee bit... And I said like one line to the Kawachi from Yakitate! Japan- Heheh... But didn't exchange contacts or anything... Ah well.
And most importantly........ KADAJxYAZOO!!! OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!! *goes into fangirl mode* KADAJ PLACED HIS (or her) HAND ON YAZOO'S BUTT!! AND WAHHHHH OMG I SHOULD HAVE ASKED FOR FANSERVICE!!!! TOTALLY went trigger-happy around them and got all fangirly and everything-- OMG I think I melted... ^^;;;
Well, on the whole the event was rather fun~~ Loved hearing Skye sing up there~ =^^=
Signing off......
Thanks: Very importantly, I want to thank a few people for helping me out so much-- Firstly, SKYE!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR HELPING ME DRAW IT LOOKED FABULOUS!! And also for the candy cane~ Heehee ;) Next would be... Amanda and Ang and Lynette and Mandy~ For helping me with the makeup and my costume before the thing-- Then... Clarence-- For helping my buy the Lily at the very last minute-- Yepz-- ^_^ Love you guys loads~
Event: Yesh, well... I was one-third trying to stay with Clarence, one-third trying to stay with my friends, and one-third being myself and snapping and going crazy and fangirling. ^^ It was.. well. To tell you the truth, not as fun as I thought. Not that it wasn't fun, it just... lacked something. Maybe it was because I wasn't with Skye most of the time, or maybe it was because I didn't hang out with the bunch of cosplayers I knew, or maybe it was because I didn't make any new friends-- I dunno...
Next time, I'm joining a group. I find it more fun when you're in a group and you have a place to return to, hang around a lot, stay around to help with and receive help from when preparing for the event, and go out for dinner after the event. This time, Well. Needless to say about half wasn't fulfilled-- *sigh* Ah well. But it was great fun anyway~ ^^
And oh yes!! I saw Grace today~~ ^^ *bounces around* She looked slightly different~ And everyone looked great! Especially Skye and Inu and *coughs* The bishies ;)
Stalking: No, not me... ^^;;; Mandy and Lynette went around stalking people and taking photos of them~ ^^;; Heheh... It was amusing to see their photos~ Lynette in the foreground and the target in the background. It was funny~ ^^ And then Amanda told their first target that they were stalking them (cause the target was Himu) and they had to change their target to the top-hat guy~ Heheh...
Mi costume: One bad thing about my costume? MY WIG WAS BROWN. Ya. And really, Yukino should have a haircut. Darn wig got entangled and everything... Wah. But by lord there was a RITSUKA!! AND FFAC!! And-- *goes on to rants*
Rants: It actually took me almost an hour to realise why the character looked SO FAMILIAR. And why? CAUSE HE WAS RITSUKA FROM LOVELESS!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE I WAS SO DENSE!! Then we talked a wee bit... And I said like one line to the Kawachi from Yakitate! Japan- Heheh... But didn't exchange contacts or anything... Ah well.
And most importantly........ KADAJxYAZOO!!! OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!! *goes into fangirl mode* KADAJ PLACED HIS (or her) HAND ON YAZOO'S BUTT!! AND WAHHHHH OMG I SHOULD HAVE ASKED FOR FANSERVICE!!!! TOTALLY went trigger-happy around them and got all fangirly and everything-- OMG I think I melted... ^^;;;
Well, on the whole the event was rather fun~~ Loved hearing Skye sing up there~ =^^=
Signing off......
Sunday, 27 November 2005
Would-have-been-Chill
Okay, this is basically just a ranting post......
!Chill@SP: Okay, the rhombus was _supposed_ to go together, but it was cancelled... Heavily disappointed... but that's another story. I went to the STAC forum (okay, Skye, don't kill me.... I was just looking for pics!!) and found some pics taken at the cosplay at !Chill. Okay, considering I kept seeing the same faces in the pics, I suppose there weren't _that_ many cosplayers... BUT ONE OF THEM OWNED A KATANA!!! LIKE WAH! I _could_ have stolen it and taken a pic for my assignment... but... Ah well. Sigh, I wish I could have forseen the cancellation on friday... Then I would have walked around myself instead of forcing myself not to. ... And I'm whining again...
Continuing on with what was at !Chill, I saw the bazzar at the plaza on friday before I left~ There were SO MUCH NICE FOOD!!! I saw the Snow Ice thing being sold, and takopachi, and durian pancakes (I managed to taste a small sample ;)) and a LOT of other nice food!! *drools* Then there were other stalls selling miscellenous stuff... And I know my friend in choir (guy) was performing too-- There were like free drinks given out (My club members were in charge of that so I got one can too ^^) and cosplay and stuff--
There was supposed to be a kimono demo where we can learn how to wear a yukata and stuff-- And a tea ceremony thing... Darn cool.
Pre-registration successful!: On the bright side, since I didn't manage to go for the !Chill thing, I could go for the EOY pre-registration~ (End-of-year cosplay, for those who don't know what EOY is) Went with Skye, Senti and Joe (yeah, got to know someone new! ^^) Saw Eden and this bunch of other people and had quite a lot of fun~ ^^ Now all I have to worry about is finishing my Yukino costume in time for EOY- Things left: Obi, big ribbon thingy at the back of my Obi, and the patterns on my kimono (Skye, I place my kimono in your hands-- Thanks for all your help!! ^^)
JLPT1 coming up: Okay... This is scary... I have.... 6 and a half more days before my JLPT1 EXAM!!! *freaks* I need to start studying and everything... But I've got a million assignments coming up ALL DUE THIS WEEK!!! And 2 meetings!! How am I going to manage this???!! *freaks even more* And my family is practically not giving me another choice but to pass... Can't take this much longer... That means that I'll have to cut myself off from any other human activity which is not necessary and try to mug... *cries* Wish me luck!! I'll need it.
Signing off......
!Chill@SP: Okay, the rhombus was _supposed_ to go together, but it was cancelled... Heavily disappointed... but that's another story. I went to the STAC forum (okay, Skye, don't kill me.... I was just looking for pics!!) and found some pics taken at the cosplay at !Chill. Okay, considering I kept seeing the same faces in the pics, I suppose there weren't _that_ many cosplayers... BUT ONE OF THEM OWNED A KATANA!!! LIKE WAH! I _could_ have stolen it and taken a pic for my assignment... but... Ah well. Sigh, I wish I could have forseen the cancellation on friday... Then I would have walked around myself instead of forcing myself not to. ... And I'm whining again...
Continuing on with what was at !Chill, I saw the bazzar at the plaza on friday before I left~ There were SO MUCH NICE FOOD!!! I saw the Snow Ice thing being sold, and takopachi, and durian pancakes (I managed to taste a small sample ;)) and a LOT of other nice food!! *drools* Then there were other stalls selling miscellenous stuff... And I know my friend in choir (guy) was performing too-- There were like free drinks given out (My club members were in charge of that so I got one can too ^^) and cosplay and stuff--
There was supposed to be a kimono demo where we can learn how to wear a yukata and stuff-- And a tea ceremony thing... Darn cool.
Pre-registration successful!: On the bright side, since I didn't manage to go for the !Chill thing, I could go for the EOY pre-registration~ (End-of-year cosplay, for those who don't know what EOY is) Went with Skye, Senti and Joe (yeah, got to know someone new! ^^) Saw Eden and this bunch of other people and had quite a lot of fun~ ^^ Now all I have to worry about is finishing my Yukino costume in time for EOY- Things left: Obi, big ribbon thingy at the back of my Obi, and the patterns on my kimono (Skye, I place my kimono in your hands-- Thanks for all your help!! ^^)
JLPT1 coming up: Okay... This is scary... I have.... 6 and a half more days before my JLPT1 EXAM!!! *freaks* I need to start studying and everything... But I've got a million assignments coming up ALL DUE THIS WEEK!!! And 2 meetings!! How am I going to manage this???!! *freaks even more* And my family is practically not giving me another choice but to pass... Can't take this much longer... That means that I'll have to cut myself off from any other human activity which is not necessary and try to mug... *cries* Wish me luck!! I'll need it.
Signing off......
Thursday, 10 November 2005
Bad to worse
Hey all!! ^^;; Yep! *walks through cobwebs and brushes them off* I'm back, again. ^^ Ah well. There's been a lot of stuff... but if I were to talk about them all I'll like flood the entire place... so... I ended up writing this in class instead... ^^;; I know it's very haphazard, as usual... but... *sigh* Whatever...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
5 o'clock, 6 o'clock, 7 o'clock.
Quiet,
in a corner
Listening.
Smiles, Laughter and
Enjoyment--
"Talk more!"
7 o'clock, 8 o'clock, 9 o'clock.
Inssistent chatter,
with futile efforts to enter conversation.
Laughter, Smiles and
a slight Frown.
Disappointment--
"..."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Some rambles...
School teacher: OMG one of my tutors is a former SC girl!!! @.@ And she's like really cool-- Was a director before, and one of the FEW tutors I feel comfortable listening to~ =)=) But err... *coughs* I was slightly scared of her ^^;; When it was my turn to say something I froze up totally even though I knew what I was going to say. 3 little words. And she heard something different cause of my freeze-up. =( Wahhh I'll never be able to face this world again!!
And I'm so glad to say she's not homophobic ;) Liberal, yeah.
GOF: YEAH YEAH YEAH 1 MORE WEEK!!!! *bounces around* I'm going with Ying Ying to watch it after school-- (which is like rather late... but WHO CARES!! IT'S GOF!!!)
Signing off... ...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
5 o'clock, 6 o'clock, 7 o'clock.
Quiet,
in a corner
Listening.
Smiles, Laughter and
Enjoyment--
"Talk more!"
7 o'clock, 8 o'clock, 9 o'clock.
Inssistent chatter,
with futile efforts to enter conversation.
Laughter, Smiles and
a slight Frown.
Disappointment--
"..."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Some rambles...
School teacher: OMG one of my tutors is a former SC girl!!! @.@ And she's like really cool-- Was a director before, and one of the FEW tutors I feel comfortable listening to~ =)=) But err... *coughs* I was slightly scared of her ^^;; When it was my turn to say something I froze up totally even though I knew what I was going to say. 3 little words. And she heard something different cause of my freeze-up. =( Wahhh I'll never be able to face this world again!!
And I'm so glad to say she's not homophobic ;) Liberal, yeah.
GOF: YEAH YEAH YEAH 1 MORE WEEK!!!! *bounces around* I'm going with Ying Ying to watch it after school-- (which is like rather late... but WHO CARES!! IT'S GOF!!!)
Signing off... ...
Tuesday, 27 September 2005
Chameleon
Wandering aimlessly...
Green against the leaves...
Brown against bark...
Yellow against withering leaves...
Smooth transitions.
Brown against wood..
White against walls..
Grey against the gravel path..
Occasional hitches.
A mix of blue and yellow against the curtains,
A mix of red and yellow against the biscuit tin,
A mix of blue and grey against the newspapers,
Confusion.
Blue against the Gardenia packaging
White against the monitor screen
Brown against rainbow-coloured toys.
A scream.
Thrown out of the house,
Sharp pain as body collides with tiled flooring.
What colour was I again?
Signing off... ...
Green against the leaves...
Brown against bark...
Yellow against withering leaves...
Smooth transitions.
Brown against wood..
White against walls..
Grey against the gravel path..
Occasional hitches.
A mix of blue and yellow against the curtains,
A mix of red and yellow against the biscuit tin,
A mix of blue and grey against the newspapers,
Confusion.
Blue against the Gardenia packaging
White against the monitor screen
Brown against rainbow-coloured toys.
A scream.
Thrown out of the house,
Sharp pain as body collides with tiled flooring.
What colour was I again?
Signing off... ...
Thursday, 22 September 2005
Quick Update -- with poem
This is going to be just a very quick update on my latest... You may ignore this if you wish. =)
Advent Children: Yep, Advent Children's been out for quite a few days, and I think I've watched it quite a few times already... Really good movie, with great bishies, action and slashy parts. Not to mention the comic relief provided by Reno and Rude (some characters from the movie). I'm supposed to be studying for my exams, but hm. Well. You know, I always end up doing something else.
Exams: As I said, exams' here.... Trying to study... Need. To. Get. Distinctions. Else my hope to enter University will be much affected... Argh. Had my first exam today. Or yesterday, whatever. Wasn't as bad as expected. Managed to crap out answers for everything.
Bad friend: Okay, I can't believe I didn't asked someone to fill in his birthday for me into my birthday alarm account. And so I didn't realise his birthday passed!! Omg, 2 and a half months later I realise it. What sort of a friend am I?? Gosh.
Misc: 2 months and... what, 4 days? Till what? Till the release of the Globet of Fire of course!! ^^;; Told you I end up thinking of everything else when I start studying for my exams. Just now I had this sudden 'inspiration' (of sorts) and ended up writing something like a poem... If you're interested, click here to read it. The title... is, well, there 'cause of a lack of a better one.
Now, back to studying.
Signing off... ...
Advent Children: Yep, Advent Children's been out for quite a few days, and I think I've watched it quite a few times already... Really good movie, with great bishies, action and slashy parts. Not to mention the comic relief provided by Reno and Rude (some characters from the movie). I'm supposed to be studying for my exams, but hm. Well. You know, I always end up doing something else.
Exams: As I said, exams' here.... Trying to study... Need. To. Get. Distinctions. Else my hope to enter University will be much affected... Argh. Had my first exam today. Or yesterday, whatever. Wasn't as bad as expected. Managed to crap out answers for everything.
Bad friend: Okay, I can't believe I didn't asked someone to fill in his birthday for me into my birthday alarm account. And so I didn't realise his birthday passed!! Omg, 2 and a half months later I realise it. What sort of a friend am I?? Gosh.
Misc: 2 months and... what, 4 days? Till what? Till the release of the Globet of Fire of course!! ^^;; Told you I end up thinking of everything else when I start studying for my exams. Just now I had this sudden 'inspiration' (of sorts) and ended up writing something like a poem... If you're interested, click here to read it. The title... is, well, there 'cause of a lack of a better one.
Now, back to studying.
Signing off... ...
Saturday, 17 September 2005
Insides, outsides
Hey! I know it's been ages since I last updated... ^^;;; I thought that this blog will be filled with cobwebs soon.... but 'manda bugged me to update this afternoon =P Yep, so I'm updating.
Comments from classmates: Okay, this is something that kinda bothered me... Recently there have been quite a few classmates (obviously guys) who have been commenting about my dressing. Not in a good way, of course. There's this workshop on dressing coming up during the holidays, and some of the guys (the ones I'm closer to) have been telling me that I should really go for that course cause I need it. Okay, I know I don't dress up well, but hey, there's no need to be that blunt!
Inside, outside: There's this phrase in Japanese: "Gaiken yori nakami" [外見よりä¸èº«] which basically means that your insides (character, personality) are more important than your outsides (looks). Which I agree with wholeheartedly. I've never bothered myself with my looks. Hey, look at me. Since young my mum was the one who bought my clothes, and it's always been the same. Black pants with a T-shirt, socks and sport shoes. I've never given it much thought. Until recently, of course, when I started to get myself a few tops. Just those few.
Looks: I know I've never been a master at dressing... but after those comments I guess I've started to think a little... Given that I'm also growing up. Is dressing up really so important? I mean, I don't look that bad till you feel like laughing or puking when you see me, right? ... Or do I? Then when I went for my japanese class, I talked to a classmate about it... And they gave me comments. All said the same thing. Yes, dressing is important. They said more, but basically that's the gist. And I suppose it somewhat got the point across.
But it's been the same for me for the last 16, no, 17 years of my life. It'll be so embarassing and uncomfortable to change all of a sudden. My friends would know about my low self-esteem... You put me in something totally new, and I freak. I'll start paying more attention to what others think and every comment will strike me hard. I don't know. Should I? Maybe I'll go shopping one day during my holidays...?
Me, inside: I remember what Andrea used to say... "You're too nice! That's why everyone takes advantage of you!" and everytime I'll shrink and go "no, I'm not..." Well, maybe if I do think of myself in a third-person perspective, I agree I that I get taken advantage of, some of the time, all the more so in poly. But am I really 'too nice'? I didn't think so. Or maybe I'm only thinking like that 'cause it's just the me now. With Poly, my defences have gone up a LOT. I get defensive, violent and irritable whenever someone comments on me, be it nasty, nice, or whatever. I've been getting more sceptical than ever, and I know it. But I can't seem to help it... =(
Changes: It might be because they're guys. It's so different from when I'm talking to girls. Back in SC, everyone is so nice, and I guess I can afford to be timid and myself. Then now, a mask slips readily into place and... I don't really know... My Business Chinese class used to be my life buoy in poly. It was one of the ONLY places I could be myself. Then, a few days ago, I met my classmate after my class when I was talking with my Business Chinese classmates. The result was rather disastrous. The overlap was so drastic that I didn't really know how to act. It was scary, to say the least. And the worst thing is... The Business Chinese days are over. Over. Omg. They're over. I won't get to hang out with the guys and girls in my class anymore. ... The thought is rather terrifying.
Birthdays: Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ALL SEPTEMBER BABIES!! Heheh, I'm lazy, aren't I. But oh gosh, there are SO many of my close friends' birthdays this month. Deone, Momo, Amanda, Meiling, Jazzy... and there are more people whom I'm not close to whose birthdays fall in Sept too. Ah well. Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY again to all of you! ^_^ Heheh...
Btw, I did one of those 'angel' quizzes from Lynette's blog for the fun of it. ^^;; I don't know... is the result really me?
you are a light angel, you are peacful and
giving.you like to make others smile and happy.
as the white angel you care for other more than
your self. you are a total opposite of the dark
angel. you should pay attention to your self
once in blue moon, but never stop giviong.
people like you can make a peaceful world. you
are very likable, in other words it's easy to
make friends. you are unique, there aren't many
like you. good job ;)
what kind of angel suits you the best(cool anime pics)
brought to you by Quizilla
Signing off... ...
Comments from classmates: Okay, this is something that kinda bothered me... Recently there have been quite a few classmates (obviously guys) who have been commenting about my dressing. Not in a good way, of course. There's this workshop on dressing coming up during the holidays, and some of the guys (the ones I'm closer to) have been telling me that I should really go for that course cause I need it. Okay, I know I don't dress up well, but hey, there's no need to be that blunt!
Inside, outside: There's this phrase in Japanese: "Gaiken yori nakami" [外見よりä¸èº«] which basically means that your insides (character, personality) are more important than your outsides (looks). Which I agree with wholeheartedly. I've never bothered myself with my looks. Hey, look at me. Since young my mum was the one who bought my clothes, and it's always been the same. Black pants with a T-shirt, socks and sport shoes. I've never given it much thought. Until recently, of course, when I started to get myself a few tops. Just those few.
Looks: I know I've never been a master at dressing... but after those comments I guess I've started to think a little... Given that I'm also growing up. Is dressing up really so important? I mean, I don't look that bad till you feel like laughing or puking when you see me, right? ... Or do I? Then when I went for my japanese class, I talked to a classmate about it... And they gave me comments. All said the same thing. Yes, dressing is important. They said more, but basically that's the gist. And I suppose it somewhat got the point across.
But it's been the same for me for the last 16, no, 17 years of my life. It'll be so embarassing and uncomfortable to change all of a sudden. My friends would know about my low self-esteem... You put me in something totally new, and I freak. I'll start paying more attention to what others think and every comment will strike me hard. I don't know. Should I? Maybe I'll go shopping one day during my holidays...?
Me, inside: I remember what Andrea used to say... "You're too nice! That's why everyone takes advantage of you!" and everytime I'll shrink and go "no, I'm not..." Well, maybe if I do think of myself in a third-person perspective, I agree I that I get taken advantage of, some of the time, all the more so in poly. But am I really 'too nice'? I didn't think so. Or maybe I'm only thinking like that 'cause it's just the me now. With Poly, my defences have gone up a LOT. I get defensive, violent and irritable whenever someone comments on me, be it nasty, nice, or whatever. I've been getting more sceptical than ever, and I know it. But I can't seem to help it... =(
Changes: It might be because they're guys. It's so different from when I'm talking to girls. Back in SC, everyone is so nice, and I guess I can afford to be timid and myself. Then now, a mask slips readily into place and... I don't really know... My Business Chinese class used to be my life buoy in poly. It was one of the ONLY places I could be myself. Then, a few days ago, I met my classmate after my class when I was talking with my Business Chinese classmates. The result was rather disastrous. The overlap was so drastic that I didn't really know how to act. It was scary, to say the least. And the worst thing is... The Business Chinese days are over. Over. Omg. They're over. I won't get to hang out with the guys and girls in my class anymore. ... The thought is rather terrifying.
Birthdays: Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ALL SEPTEMBER BABIES!! Heheh, I'm lazy, aren't I. But oh gosh, there are SO many of my close friends' birthdays this month. Deone, Momo, Amanda, Meiling, Jazzy... and there are more people whom I'm not close to whose birthdays fall in Sept too. Ah well. Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY again to all of you! ^_^ Heheh...
Btw, I did one of those 'angel' quizzes from Lynette's blog for the fun of it. ^^;; I don't know... is the result really me?
you are a light angel, you are peacful and
giving.you like to make others smile and happy.
as the white angel you care for other more than
your self. you are a total opposite of the dark
angel. you should pay attention to your self
once in blue moon, but never stop giviong.
people like you can make a peaceful world. you
are very likable, in other words it's easy to
make friends. you are unique, there aren't many
like you. good job ;)
what kind of angel suits you the best(cool anime pics)
brought to you by Quizilla
Signing off... ...
Wednesday, 17 August 2005
The betraying of trust
I can't believe this. I deleted my previous post, which was filled with all my frustrations and well. Stuff. For someone. Whatever happened to freedom of speech? *sigh* Never mind...
I was forming my entry in my mind on my way home today but I think everything disappeared after I went out with my dad just now... ='( Never mind, I'll just write an entry anyway.
The incident today: I was trying to take some pictures of my friends today, while I was walking towards the MRT station with them. Two of them started acting cute and gay, so I took my camera out, ran in front of them, and snapped. It was a good picture, and it was cute, so I was pretty happy. (Mind you, they knew I was going to take a picture of them anyway) and then one of them asked whether he could see the photo. I passed the camera to him, then suddenly heard "I delete ar!" from behind me. I quickly turned around and shouted "NO!" at him rather loudly. I saw him make to press the delete button anyway and I started wrestling with him.
When I got it back, I realised that he had already deleted it. That got me pissed. I mean, it's not the photo that got me entirely pissed, it was the lack of respect for me as a person, and the lack of consideration for a _friend_. And at the beginning of the year he told me he'd take me as a one. What rubbish.
Lack of respect and consideration: This wasn't the first time. Ever since I knew him he has been telling me nothing but lies, playing with my emotions and using his words to control me. What I hated was that he said he was my FRIEND but he's hitting ALL my weak points anyway. He knows I don't know how to retort and handle all the 'suan'ing, but he does it anyway. What a friend.
I knew he was like that, but I trusted that he'd know his limits and not mess around with my things without my permission. _That's_ why I passed the camera to him. But NO!! He betrayed my trust, messed around with my pictures and deleted whatever he wanted. What happened to giving ME control over my own things? He asked me whether he could delete it. But if he was going to delete it ANYWAY regardless of my reply then it's equivalent to not asking at all. And it's plain RUDE, INCONSIDERATE, and DISRESPECTFUL. But no, I don't think he knows. Either that, or those words just aren't in his dictionary.
Look at it this way, before knowing them, NONE of my friends would have done such a thing. If they saw me reacting that violently to the idea of deleting it, they'd play around a bit but they wouldn't delete it. I believe that even the rest of the class wouldn't have deleted it. And I thought he was decent. Whole lot of rubbish. Decent, my ass.
It wasn't just the picture. It was a whole lot more when he did what he did.
OOPG: I don't really know what's going on, but everyone's been asking for my assignment codes. I mean, what for! I'm not even doing it the way the teacher wants it!! I'm happy doing it my way and I don't want anyone to COPY! But they don't wan't to listen to all that. They want to get it from me and circulate it around so everyone will get a copy. HELLO!!! I'm not even doing it the way the teacher wants it. It'll be DAMN obvious if they copied!! They don't care, do they. The penalty for copying is quite harsh. They ALL know that. But they don't care. No one does. They just think that if I get good marks and they copy, they'll get the good marks too. No one's counting on themselves. Except perhaps a rare few.
We can group up in pairs for the assignment, but it looks like I only have two choices -- either pair up with Chelsea or do it myself. I'm not doing it with anyone else. I don't trust that they'd keep it to themselves. The only one I thought was pretty decent dared to tell me that he'd pass it to his friend, who'd circulate it everywhere.
And really. almost all of them said they don't understand my codes. Then why bother to even use it?? Crazy bunch of people, the lot of them.
More CHOCO: Okay, enough frustrations for a day. Let's talk about HAPPIER things ^_^ I made choco last weekend, and my friends said it was good. So did my mum and bro. I just came back from buying more baking choco with my dad, and my mum said she got the chocolate moulds for me already. That means.... MORE CHOCO MAKING!!! ^_^ I'm planning to distribute the chocos to my friends and stuff next, next monday. Which means I probably have to wait till next week to cook em.
But... I can't wait any longer.... it's just so fun!! ^_^ And I heard it's pretty good... and I want to try more... some _person_ in my class keeps wanting to eat my choco and he was the ONLY one I gave 2 pieces to. And he still dared to demand for more the next day, even though I told him I didn't have any left. Argh. Anyway... Hm. You know what, I think I may just make the chocolate anyway this week ;) Whee~~~ =P
Signing off......
I was forming my entry in my mind on my way home today but I think everything disappeared after I went out with my dad just now... ='( Never mind, I'll just write an entry anyway.
The incident today: I was trying to take some pictures of my friends today, while I was walking towards the MRT station with them. Two of them started acting cute and gay, so I took my camera out, ran in front of them, and snapped. It was a good picture, and it was cute, so I was pretty happy. (Mind you, they knew I was going to take a picture of them anyway) and then one of them asked whether he could see the photo. I passed the camera to him, then suddenly heard "I delete ar!" from behind me. I quickly turned around and shouted "NO!" at him rather loudly. I saw him make to press the delete button anyway and I started wrestling with him.
When I got it back, I realised that he had already deleted it. That got me pissed. I mean, it's not the photo that got me entirely pissed, it was the lack of respect for me as a person, and the lack of consideration for a _friend_. And at the beginning of the year he told me he'd take me as a one. What rubbish.
Lack of respect and consideration: This wasn't the first time. Ever since I knew him he has been telling me nothing but lies, playing with my emotions and using his words to control me. What I hated was that he said he was my FRIEND but he's hitting ALL my weak points anyway. He knows I don't know how to retort and handle all the 'suan'ing, but he does it anyway. What a friend.
I knew he was like that, but I trusted that he'd know his limits and not mess around with my things without my permission. _That's_ why I passed the camera to him. But NO!! He betrayed my trust, messed around with my pictures and deleted whatever he wanted. What happened to giving ME control over my own things? He asked me whether he could delete it. But if he was going to delete it ANYWAY regardless of my reply then it's equivalent to not asking at all. And it's plain RUDE, INCONSIDERATE, and DISRESPECTFUL. But no, I don't think he knows. Either that, or those words just aren't in his dictionary.
Look at it this way, before knowing them, NONE of my friends would have done such a thing. If they saw me reacting that violently to the idea of deleting it, they'd play around a bit but they wouldn't delete it. I believe that even the rest of the class wouldn't have deleted it. And I thought he was decent. Whole lot of rubbish. Decent, my ass.
It wasn't just the picture. It was a whole lot more when he did what he did.
OOPG: I don't really know what's going on, but everyone's been asking for my assignment codes. I mean, what for! I'm not even doing it the way the teacher wants it!! I'm happy doing it my way and I don't want anyone to COPY! But they don't wan't to listen to all that. They want to get it from me and circulate it around so everyone will get a copy. HELLO!!! I'm not even doing it the way the teacher wants it. It'll be DAMN obvious if they copied!! They don't care, do they. The penalty for copying is quite harsh. They ALL know that. But they don't care. No one does. They just think that if I get good marks and they copy, they'll get the good marks too. No one's counting on themselves. Except perhaps a rare few.
We can group up in pairs for the assignment, but it looks like I only have two choices -- either pair up with Chelsea or do it myself. I'm not doing it with anyone else. I don't trust that they'd keep it to themselves. The only one I thought was pretty decent dared to tell me that he'd pass it to his friend, who'd circulate it everywhere.
And really. almost all of them said they don't understand my codes. Then why bother to even use it?? Crazy bunch of people, the lot of them.
More CHOCO: Okay, enough frustrations for a day. Let's talk about HAPPIER things ^_^ I made choco last weekend, and my friends said it was good. So did my mum and bro. I just came back from buying more baking choco with my dad, and my mum said she got the chocolate moulds for me already. That means.... MORE CHOCO MAKING!!! ^_^ I'm planning to distribute the chocos to my friends and stuff next, next monday. Which means I probably have to wait till next week to cook em.
But... I can't wait any longer.... it's just so fun!! ^_^ And I heard it's pretty good... and I want to try more... some _person_ in my class keeps wanting to eat my choco and he was the ONLY one I gave 2 pieces to. And he still dared to demand for more the next day, even though I told him I didn't have any left. Argh. Anyway... Hm. You know what, I think I may just make the chocolate anyway this week ;) Whee~~~ =P
Signing off......
Friday, 5 August 2005
Screwed, me.
You suck.
You know that, don't you?
...
What's the point of dominating?
... None.
Then why do you do it anyway?
... I don't know.
You know it irritates people, don't you?
... Yes.
Is that your point then, to irritate?
... No...
Then... why?
... I don't know...
Where's your control?
... Gone with the wind.
Excuses, excuses.
...
Enjoy annoying the heck out of everyone, do you.
... No...
You need to have control.
... I know...
Learn it.
... Yes...
Conquer yourself.
... I'll try.
You aren't trying.
... I will...
Start now.
... Yes, tomorrow...
Start now.
... Tonight, I reflect.
You aren't reflecting.
... Give me time... I'll change...
...
I'll try my best, I promise.
Remember: Over-confidence gives the impression of arrogance.
Signing off... ...
Interrogation; Jerkies aren't nice.
Friday, 22 July 2005
Apologies
This entry is for and about my current class DIT/1A/02, even though they'll probably not read it.
Apologies: Sorry, Derrick, Chelsea, Bo Sheng, Ceed, Wee Kwang, Daniel, Yong He and F4, for losing my temper so easily and scolding you guys. Basically, I'd like to apologise to EVERYONE I've pissed off or irritated the past few days. The stress is getting to me. The whole Shuwei thing, especially. Anything to do with that with that name is stressful. Everyone seems to be depending on me to do everything, and it's starting to get on my nerves.
CIP: There's the CIP thing for Character Development, where I've asked the WHOLE class to help me look information for, and only one person came up with something - that was total crap. Done by who? Who else will give me irrelevant crap and show it to the class? Shuwei, of course. Okay, I don't blame the rest of class. Most of them only knew about it really last minute. But those that are 'helping' go to a page with lots of links to different places (most of which have dead links) and copy and paste the link to me and ask it it's okay. ERM. I thought you were helping. Minimal, it seems.
TBCM: After much irritating and begging and godknowswhatelse, Shuwei is in my group for TBCM. And since it is Shuwei, the group is NEVER in the mood to discuss the work with him around. So... nothing has been done, and we're WAY behind time. Worst thing is, Shuwei DARED to blame and scold me for not doing anything. HELLO!!!! I was the ONLY one bugging the group once every five minutes to continue discussing. If you really thought that we weren't doing anything, why don't you INITIATE AND STOP BLAMING EVERYTHING ON ME!!! YOU SAY YOU'RE THE BLOODY CLASS REP AND DARE TO ANNOUNCE IT TO EVERYONE WHEN YOU DON'T DO ANYTHING! Oh god.
'Teasing': Shuwei has a nickname-- Energy. And the class likes to tease that I am with 'F4' and 'Energy'. Okay, F4 is fine, since I'm close to them and I know they won't take them seriously. But oh Gosh. Energy??? What an insult to the real group Energy man. BAD insult. And it's absolutely REVOLTING everytime they play the edited version of Energy's song and replace the name with Shuwei's, and say it's dedicated to me. More than once I felt like leaving the class, but no, I had to maintain control.
Schoolwork: Then there's practical. Many people in my class can't do the practical qns (which I suspect is because they don't listen during lecture, or just plain made careless mistakes) and end up asking me for help. I'll help, of course, and in the beginning I was like a third teacher, running around the entire lesson like the other two teachers. Then I started to put my foot down and scold some of my classmates due to the stress. I'm REALLY really sorry for that... It's just that... Running around and helping everyone during lesson just means that I don't have time to do the practical myself. And I'm lagging behind now.
Shuwei is starting to turn into a foul word. NEVER mention that name in front of me.
I'm about to break down soon. So much to do, so little time... The stress is overwhelming, and I'm starting to forget everything that I'm supposed to complete.
Aren't I glad that they don't know my blog...
Signing off... ...
Apologies: Sorry, Derrick, Chelsea, Bo Sheng, Ceed, Wee Kwang, Daniel, Yong He and F4, for losing my temper so easily and scolding you guys. Basically, I'd like to apologise to EVERYONE I've pissed off or irritated the past few days. The stress is getting to me. The whole Shuwei thing, especially. Anything to do with that with that name is stressful. Everyone seems to be depending on me to do everything, and it's starting to get on my nerves.
CIP: There's the CIP thing for Character Development, where I've asked the WHOLE class to help me look information for, and only one person came up with something - that was total crap. Done by who? Who else will give me irrelevant crap and show it to the class? Shuwei, of course. Okay, I don't blame the rest of class. Most of them only knew about it really last minute. But those that are 'helping' go to a page with lots of links to different places (most of which have dead links) and copy and paste the link to me and ask it it's okay. ERM. I thought you were helping. Minimal, it seems.
TBCM: After much irritating and begging and godknowswhatelse, Shuwei is in my group for TBCM. And since it is Shuwei, the group is NEVER in the mood to discuss the work with him around. So... nothing has been done, and we're WAY behind time. Worst thing is, Shuwei DARED to blame and scold me for not doing anything. HELLO!!!! I was the ONLY one bugging the group once every five minutes to continue discussing. If you really thought that we weren't doing anything, why don't you INITIATE AND STOP BLAMING EVERYTHING ON ME!!! YOU SAY YOU'RE THE BLOODY CLASS REP AND DARE TO ANNOUNCE IT TO EVERYONE WHEN YOU DON'T DO ANYTHING! Oh god.
'Teasing': Shuwei has a nickname-- Energy. And the class likes to tease that I am with 'F4' and 'Energy'. Okay, F4 is fine, since I'm close to them and I know they won't take them seriously. But oh Gosh. Energy??? What an insult to the real group Energy man. BAD insult. And it's absolutely REVOLTING everytime they play the edited version of Energy's song and replace the name with Shuwei's, and say it's dedicated to me. More than once I felt like leaving the class, but no, I had to maintain control.
Schoolwork: Then there's practical. Many people in my class can't do the practical qns (which I suspect is because they don't listen during lecture, or just plain made careless mistakes) and end up asking me for help. I'll help, of course, and in the beginning I was like a third teacher, running around the entire lesson like the other two teachers. Then I started to put my foot down and scold some of my classmates due to the stress. I'm REALLY really sorry for that... It's just that... Running around and helping everyone during lesson just means that I don't have time to do the practical myself. And I'm lagging behind now.
Shuwei is starting to turn into a foul word. NEVER mention that name in front of me.
I'm about to break down soon. So much to do, so little time... The stress is overwhelming, and I'm starting to forget everything that I'm supposed to complete.
Aren't I glad that they don't know my blog...
Signing off... ...
Friday, 1 July 2005
S9D outing
S9D outing: YEAH!! Today a group of us went out to the arcade together... and then ate dinner. There were people like Huiyong, William, Weida, Hui Xin, Meiling, Pei Yu and Wen Jun there... It was damn fun and enjoyable!! ^^ For the first time in AGES I really REALLY laughed. I laughed so hard and so long I could hardly eat my burger over dinner-- ^^ It's been SOOOOOOOooooo long since I last hanged out with them I was elated. Really missed them, so much. I can't wait for the next outing man. ^^
Arcade: I watched a few of them play several games (the one where there are three coloured buttons and you bang on them erratically in hope that you'll be the fastest, and the one where you hold this long thing in your hands and swing it about and use it as a sword to kill monsters.) I myself played Time Crisis 2 with Huiyong and the DDR thingy with William. ^^ Had lots and lots and lots of fun. We also crowded around a stupid machine and Hui Xin asked William to try and pick toys from the machine... Obviously, we failed to do so.
Dinner: Then Pei Yu, William and Huiyong left. Hui Xin actually left too, but at City Hall she decided to turn back and join us for dinner too ^^;;; Dinner was full of jokes and stuff, and we got someone to take a picture of the 5 of us left. ^_^ After dinner we walked around, window shopping and talking crap. That was basically my fun part of the day. Enjoyed myself tremendously. ^^ LOOKING FORWARD TO THE NEXT OUTING!!
Pei Yu and Meiling: Next time, you guys are gonna PLAY!! ^^ Maybe we can bang the stupid coloured buttons things together. =P
Signing off... ...
Arcade: I watched a few of them play several games (the one where there are three coloured buttons and you bang on them erratically in hope that you'll be the fastest, and the one where you hold this long thing in your hands and swing it about and use it as a sword to kill monsters.) I myself played Time Crisis 2 with Huiyong and the DDR thingy with William. ^^ Had lots and lots and lots of fun. We also crowded around a stupid machine and Hui Xin asked William to try and pick toys from the machine... Obviously, we failed to do so.
Dinner: Then Pei Yu, William and Huiyong left. Hui Xin actually left too, but at City Hall she decided to turn back and join us for dinner too ^^;;; Dinner was full of jokes and stuff, and we got someone to take a picture of the 5 of us left. ^_^ After dinner we walked around, window shopping and talking crap. That was basically my fun part of the day. Enjoyed myself tremendously. ^^ LOOKING FORWARD TO THE NEXT OUTING!!
Pei Yu and Meiling: Next time, you guys are gonna PLAY!! ^^ Maybe we can bang the stupid coloured buttons things together. =P
Signing off... ...
Wednesday, 29 June 2005
Low self-esteem
Low self-esteem: I hate my bloody freakin low self esteem. I mean, I never had that problem in JC when I was with my class or OG, especially not with my OG. And today when I went out with a group of friends... I don't know.. After returning, I felt that I had acted in a way that made everyone have a bad impression of me. Made everyone think I was weird and irritating and godknowswhatelse. It's pissing. And I don't dare ask anyone of them whether i did, cause I think i'd irritate them.
Fun day out: Well, other than that, the outing was fun~ ^^ The rest went to watch a movie, and I went home for a while. I calculated what time they would end... and well. Let's just say I calculated it right the first time, and just as I was about to leave the house, I managed to convince myself that 4 + 2 was 7. So I stayed for another hour. Oh god. And I made the whole group wait for me for almost an hour!!!!! It wasn't that good a day, but dinner was good. ^^ Talked to them, made a fool of myself, and took lots of pictures!! ^^ Basically it was the talking and the pictures that was fun. Other than that... hm. I shall keep my comments to myself.
By the way, angst is not 'ex' nor is it 'not nice'. Go check the dictionary.
Signing off... ...
Fun day out: Well, other than that, the outing was fun~ ^^ The rest went to watch a movie, and I went home for a while. I calculated what time they would end... and well. Let's just say I calculated it right the first time, and just as I was about to leave the house, I managed to convince myself that 4 + 2 was 7. So I stayed for another hour. Oh god. And I made the whole group wait for me for almost an hour!!!!! It wasn't that good a day, but dinner was good. ^^ Talked to them, made a fool of myself, and took lots of pictures!! ^^ Basically it was the talking and the pictures that was fun. Other than that... hm. I shall keep my comments to myself.
By the way, angst is not 'ex' nor is it 'not nice'. Go check the dictionary.
Signing off... ...
Saturday, 25 June 2005
Just some tests...
| Your IQ Is 105 |
 Your Logical Intelligence is Exceptional Your Verbal Intelligence is Above Average Your Mathematical Intelligence is Genius Your General Knowledge is Below Average |
The True You |
| You want your girlfriend or boyfriend to be more relaxed, calm, and composed. |
| With respect to money, you spend as little as possible. |
| You think good luck depends on maintaining good relationships with others. |
| The hidden side of your personality tends to be satisfied to care for things with a minimal amount of effort. |
| You are tend to think about others' feelings a lot, perhaps because you are so eager to be liked. |
| When it comes to finding a romantic partner, you don't have any particular type in mind, but you are inclined to look for someone who will say yes when you ask him / her out. |
Friday, 24 June 2005
FInally -- An update! ^^
It's been ages... hasn't it?
^^ Thanks to all who have been bugging me to update-- both on my tagboard and online. ^_^ It feels great to know that you guys still remember me- ^^
OG outing: Okkay... so I dunno what's going to happen to it. Sam said he'd organise one... and erm. *coughs* Let's just say that many people couldn't make it... so it was cancelled... Up till now there have been no updates to the status of the outing. Seems like we won't be having an outing after all... Wah. I really really REALLY want an outing... but with school and assignments and practicals and all... I really don't think I have the time to organise one... I'd help though. Everyone knows that. =^^=
CT outing: Hm. I'm supposed to organise that. ^^;;; And as I'm sure you can guess, it's been dormant. I haven't been able to find the time to organise it... and with all the term tests coming up for ALL the JC peeps... I think I can forget about it. No point sacrificing precious study time for an outing. EVERYONE, JIA YOU!! GAMBATTE!! ^^; Don't get yourself too stressed out and all... I'd like to see you all still in one piece after your mid-terms, k?
My school life: Well. My class wants an outing too. ^^;;;; So... *coughs* They wanted to watch Initial D initially... (no pun intended) but it was cancelled due to the fact that very few people wanted to go.
So let's count. Number of outings I was supposed to organise/help to organise: 3. Number of outings succeeded: 0. Whee. That's how accomplished I am. Ah well. Oh, and I forgot to mention... my camp group wants an outing too- I promised I'd help my GLs out with it.
Schoolwork: Fun so far, but I have this particular module called UWOS (Unix and Windows Operating Systems) Sounds fun? Err... Well. I thought I'd learn some cool stuff. All I've learnt so far is finding the Task Manager and closing applications. At least that's all I've caught during lesson. The teacher talks during lesson, as do the rest of us. In other words, no one listens. No one from my class, at least, and I'm no exception. I know, I know, bad student. Amanda's gonna have my head for not paying attention. So much for hoping to receive distinctions. Ah well, all hope's not lost yet.
Class stuff: My class? Nice bunch of people. Just that they... well. Tend to teach you all the wrong stuff. But they look out for me... So that's good. ^^ Love them anyway.
To all my SC and JC friends: WAhh!! I miss all of you... Hope we can finally find a time to go out together. ^^ *hopes*
Signing off... ...
^^ Thanks to all who have been bugging me to update-- both on my tagboard and online. ^_^ It feels great to know that you guys still remember me- ^^
OG outing: Okkay... so I dunno what's going to happen to it. Sam said he'd organise one... and erm. *coughs* Let's just say that many people couldn't make it... so it was cancelled... Up till now there have been no updates to the status of the outing. Seems like we won't be having an outing after all... Wah. I really really REALLY want an outing... but with school and assignments and practicals and all... I really don't think I have the time to organise one... I'd help though. Everyone knows that. =^^=
CT outing: Hm. I'm supposed to organise that. ^^;;; And as I'm sure you can guess, it's been dormant. I haven't been able to find the time to organise it... and with all the term tests coming up for ALL the JC peeps... I think I can forget about it. No point sacrificing precious study time for an outing. EVERYONE, JIA YOU!! GAMBATTE!! ^^; Don't get yourself too stressed out and all... I'd like to see you all still in one piece after your mid-terms, k?
My school life: Well. My class wants an outing too. ^^;;;; So... *coughs* They wanted to watch Initial D initially... (no pun intended) but it was cancelled due to the fact that very few people wanted to go.
So let's count. Number of outings I was supposed to organise/help to organise: 3. Number of outings succeeded: 0. Whee. That's how accomplished I am. Ah well. Oh, and I forgot to mention... my camp group wants an outing too- I promised I'd help my GLs out with it.
Schoolwork: Fun so far, but I have this particular module called UWOS (Unix and Windows Operating Systems) Sounds fun? Err... Well. I thought I'd learn some cool stuff. All I've learnt so far is finding the Task Manager and closing applications. At least that's all I've caught during lesson. The teacher talks during lesson, as do the rest of us. In other words, no one listens. No one from my class, at least, and I'm no exception. I know, I know, bad student. Amanda's gonna have my head for not paying attention. So much for hoping to receive distinctions. Ah well, all hope's not lost yet.
Class stuff: My class? Nice bunch of people. Just that they... well. Tend to teach you all the wrong stuff. But they look out for me... So that's good. ^^ Love them anyway.
To all my SC and JC friends: WAhh!! I miss all of you... Hope we can finally find a time to go out together. ^^ *hopes*
Signing off... ...
Friday, 27 May 2005
Hurt
I never thought that it'd be this hard...
Having no one with me in school.
It wouldn't be so bad if i made some really close friends...
But...
I didn't think it'd be this hard without a constant...
Pining... Yearning...
I'm bad at handling emotions
and expressing them.
I can't tell anyone about certain things...
It wouldn't have been so bad
but when a close friend tells me that whatever I'm percieving is wrong straight in my face without understanding the hidden emotions underneath...
It starts to hurt.
But I'm grateful to certain people too:
My friends who listen to me ramble (you guys know who you are)
and a particular person from poly...
though the person probably doesn't know that he (used generally) has helped me so much.
But I'm grateful.
Signing off... ...
P.S. This ain't no poem. Just an extremely haphazard entry.
Having no one with me in school.
It wouldn't be so bad if i made some really close friends...
But...
I didn't think it'd be this hard without a constant...
Pining... Yearning...
I'm bad at handling emotions
and expressing them.
I can't tell anyone about certain things...
It wouldn't have been so bad
but when a close friend tells me that whatever I'm percieving is wrong straight in my face without understanding the hidden emotions underneath...
It starts to hurt.
But I'm grateful to certain people too:
My friends who listen to me ramble (you guys know who you are)
and a particular person from poly...
though the person probably doesn't know that he (used generally) has helped me so much.
But I'm grateful.
Signing off... ...
P.S. This ain't no poem. Just an extremely haphazard entry.
Friday blues
Friday blues: Today we ended at a little past 12, and I SOOOOOOOOOOOOooooo wanted to go out with someone after that. Like with Hi-5 or my class or whatever. Everyone who knows me (especially my OG) would know that I tend to be extremely enthu over this kinda stuff. The group I was with for the games (something like treasure hunt) was SO un-enthu. Everyone just _refused_ to run, and took their time to stroll from one station to the next.
Coldness: "Oh darn, I forgot their names..." "Huh? I'm Winnie remember? And she's Ester" I laughed. "No no, I mean the rest of them." Both of them looked at me weirdly. "But you're not in the same course as them what." I could feel myself freeze. "Err... so?" I managed to say after some time, glad that my voice didn't sound rude.
Lunch? Or no: After the games I looked around for someone I knew. I heard that a few groups were going out for lunch, and I badly wanted to go with them. I mean, look, it's a bloody friday. and not even 1pm yet! I headed back to the room where our bags were and poked someone from Hi-5 on the arm. "Hey, have you gotten your EZ-link card yet?" I tried, hoping that I could get someone to at least accompany me to get my stupid EZlink. Unfortunately... "Yeah, but it's only valid starting on the 30th." "Oh, okay... Never mind then." Suddenly he shouted across me, "HEY,! Want to join us for lunch?" Just before that, I overheard that they were going with one of our seniors too. And he just screamed across me. Okay, like thank you very much. I know when I'm not wanted. So I took a step back, glanced around the room one more time, and walked out towards the lobby.
Sulk: I passed by quite a few people and heard quite a lot of people being invited to go out for lunch. I was like the only idiot walking, not towards somewhere for lunch, but home. I had to admit, I started to sulk. My OG would know... I mean, I used to ask everyone practically EVERYDAY whether they'd like to go out after school. Resulting in 10 outings in a single month. Now? Damnit. I even asked my GL when our Hi-5 outing would be, but she said "sometime next week, don't worry, I'll inform you." and she placed an arm on my shoulder." For the moment I felt somewhat comforted. But 'one week' sounded a long way away...
Idiocy: Okay, so I was feeling lonely and brooding over it as I walked out of the school. I was supposed to walk past the MRT station and to my bus stop to take a bus home, but I ended up walking INTO The MRT station. And I only realised after I scanned my card and went onto the platform. Like WHAT AN IDIOTIC THING TO DO!!! Right. So I got pissed. And I continued to feel down on the train, throughout the whole ride. The fact that there was an ACJC couple standing so close to each other right across me didn't really help things much. Then there were a few idiotic people who, the moment entered the train, stood right at the entrance, blocking anyone from coming in or going out. Why did I say they were idiots? Simple. Because there was a whole lot of space behind them and they refused to move it. dammit. Dont' people understand the words "Please allow passengers to alight first" or "plese move to the centre of the cabin"?? I mean, even if you didn't want to move to the centre, you could at least move to the back right? No one who has brains stands in the MIDDLE of the bloody doorway. Oh wait. I forgot. They don't _have_ brains.
What did I accomplish today?: Nothing. Absolutely nothing. No EZlink, no lunch. Ah well. ... I miss my OG and class...
Okay. I'm getting super harsh now. I'm sorry... I'm just very tired and pissed with myself and godknowswhatelse. I shall go off now.
Signing off... ...
Coldness: "Oh darn, I forgot their names..." "Huh? I'm Winnie remember? And she's Ester" I laughed. "No no, I mean the rest of them." Both of them looked at me weirdly. "But you're not in the same course as them what." I could feel myself freeze. "Err... so?" I managed to say after some time, glad that my voice didn't sound rude.
Lunch? Or no: After the games I looked around for someone I knew. I heard that a few groups were going out for lunch, and I badly wanted to go with them. I mean, look, it's a bloody friday. and not even 1pm yet! I headed back to the room where our bags were and poked someone from Hi-5 on the arm. "Hey, have you gotten your EZ-link card yet?" I tried, hoping that I could get someone to at least accompany me to get my stupid EZlink. Unfortunately... "Yeah, but it's only valid starting on the 30th." "Oh, okay... Never mind then." Suddenly he shouted across me, "HEY,
Sulk: I passed by quite a few people and heard quite a lot of people being invited to go out for lunch. I was like the only idiot walking, not towards somewhere for lunch, but home. I had to admit, I started to sulk. My OG would know... I mean, I used to ask everyone practically EVERYDAY whether they'd like to go out after school. Resulting in 10 outings in a single month. Now? Damnit. I even asked my GL when our Hi-5 outing would be, but she said "sometime next week, don't worry, I'll inform you." and she placed an arm on my shoulder." For the moment I felt somewhat comforted. But 'one week' sounded a long way away...
Idiocy: Okay, so I was feeling lonely and brooding over it as I walked out of the school. I was supposed to walk past the MRT station and to my bus stop to take a bus home, but I ended up walking INTO The MRT station. And I only realised after I scanned my card and went onto the platform. Like WHAT AN IDIOTIC THING TO DO!!! Right. So I got pissed. And I continued to feel down on the train, throughout the whole ride. The fact that there was an ACJC couple standing so close to each other right across me didn't really help things much. Then there were a few idiotic people who, the moment entered the train, stood right at the entrance, blocking anyone from coming in or going out. Why did I say they were idiots? Simple. Because there was a whole lot of space behind them and they refused to move it. dammit. Dont' people understand the words "Please allow passengers to alight first" or "plese move to the centre of the cabin"?? I mean, even if you didn't want to move to the centre, you could at least move to the back right? No one who has brains stands in the MIDDLE of the bloody doorway. Oh wait. I forgot. They don't _have_ brains.
What did I accomplish today?: Nothing. Absolutely nothing. No EZlink, no lunch. Ah well. ... I miss my OG and class...
Okay. I'm getting super harsh now. I'm sorry... I'm just very tired and pissed with myself and godknowswhatelse. I shall go off now.
Signing off... ...
Thursday, 26 May 2005
Poly stuff
Poly stuff: Oh god. If you thought that there was a sex divide in JC, poly's worse. My class only has 2 girls, but the girl likes to mix with the girls from our buddy class. Which means that there's this lot of girls walking around and refusing to part. If I don't join them, i'll be alone, so I have no choice but to follow. It's damn pissing, because they hardly mix around with the other guys, and when I talk to a guy or something, they (especially one of them) woul give me a look.
And sometimes when I lag a bit (like when people cut in front of me and I end up lagging behind), when I catch up with them one of the girls like to go 'looking at shuai ge right?' That's not bad enough. "You went for camp?? Oh, I know why! To look for shuai ge right?" ... "Why'd you come to poly then? Oh, wait, I know! To find shuai ge right?" Oh geez. She sounds like she _has_ to have the words 'shuai ge' in every sentence. And she says it _all_ the time. Argh. I had a bloody urge to like smack her or something. And she calls the fatter guys 'monsters'. Like how bloody shallow can one get? The worse part of it -- she's 20. Now _that's_ called immature.
As a result I hardly mixed around with my class. And it's bloody pissing.
Flag day: So... Today was flag day, and for reasons mentioned above, my class suggested I go with some girls cause I'd be the only one in the group who was a girl. In the end, I joined some of the Hi-5 members(my camp group) and 1A/04 freshies. It was fun. ^^ Especially with Felix, Bryan and Xiu Hui. Yong Xian was amusing too, sitting on the bench hald the time and still getting about the same amount in his tin as me. Felix liked to flirt with guys and girls alike and Bryan was so attractive that he didn't have to go to people -- people came to him. Thank goodness I still have Hi-5 during this time. ^^
Results for the day? I collected $11.05. How bloody pathetic is that man? I stick to what I thought for the past few years. Those who willingly go to orchard area to sell flags are idiots. And for a day, I was one. But at least I had fun while I was at it. ^-^
Signing off... ...
And sometimes when I lag a bit (like when people cut in front of me and I end up lagging behind), when I catch up with them one of the girls like to go 'looking at shuai ge right?' That's not bad enough. "You went for camp?? Oh, I know why! To look for shuai ge right?" ... "Why'd you come to poly then? Oh, wait, I know! To find shuai ge right?" Oh geez. She sounds like she _has_ to have the words 'shuai ge' in every sentence. And she says it _all_ the time. Argh. I had a bloody urge to like smack her or something. And she calls the fatter guys 'monsters'. Like how bloody shallow can one get? The worse part of it -- she's 20. Now _that's_ called immature.
As a result I hardly mixed around with my class. And it's bloody pissing.
Flag day: So... Today was flag day, and for reasons mentioned above, my class suggested I go with some girls cause I'd be the only one in the group who was a girl. In the end, I joined some of the Hi-5 members(my camp group) and 1A/04 freshies. It was fun. ^^ Especially with Felix, Bryan and Xiu Hui. Yong Xian was amusing too, sitting on the bench hald the time and still getting about the same amount in his tin as me. Felix liked to flirt with guys and girls alike and Bryan was so attractive that he didn't have to go to people -- people came to him. Thank goodness I still have Hi-5 during this time. ^^
Results for the day? I collected $11.05. How bloody pathetic is that man? I stick to what I thought for the past few years. Those who willingly go to orchard area to sell flags are idiots. And for a day, I was one. But at least I had fun while I was at it. ^-^
Signing off... ...
Monday, 23 May 2005
Lazy piggy
Yes, yes, I know... I've been a little lazy fat pig rolling around in the mud... Not updating and all.. Heh. ^^
Camp: My ICT (name of faculty) camp just ended a few days ago... During the course of it I managed to break my slippers, spoil my handphone and chip my glasses. Not to mention get 3 blisters (which burst) on 3 different day. Add a bad sunburn to the mix. Whoala! That was my 4-day 3-night camp at SP. But I'm lucky, in a way, cause those people in my group were all very nice. ^^ One of them pissed me off as a few of my friends should know... but other than that everything was fine.
Then I managed to get myself a new phone. ^^ My dad went with me to the Singtel place and got me a new handphone, the cheapest tied with the contract. But I love it~ ^^ Very nice phone. Heh. =P
Poly: Orientation's starting from tomorrow, and well, you could say I'm starting to get slightly nervous. I've already been there and all... and I know the place where we're gonna meet... but I dunno... can't help freaking out a little...
More outings!!: I think we're gonna have an OG26 outing and a 05S9D outing in June and I'm sooo looking forward to it! Can't wait! I'll be having school so I may not be able to organise it all and stuff... but I'll be willing to help all I can!! ^-^ Miss all of you guys! And SC people too~~
Signing off... ...
Camp: My ICT (name of faculty) camp just ended a few days ago... During the course of it I managed to break my slippers, spoil my handphone and chip my glasses. Not to mention get 3 blisters (which burst) on 3 different day. Add a bad sunburn to the mix. Whoala! That was my 4-day 3-night camp at SP. But I'm lucky, in a way, cause those people in my group were all very nice. ^^ One of them pissed me off as a few of my friends should know... but other than that everything was fine.
Then I managed to get myself a new phone. ^^ My dad went with me to the Singtel place and got me a new handphone, the cheapest tied with the contract. But I love it~ ^^ Very nice phone. Heh. =P
Poly: Orientation's starting from tomorrow, and well, you could say I'm starting to get slightly nervous. I've already been there and all... and I know the place where we're gonna meet... but I dunno... can't help freaking out a little...
More outings!!: I think we're gonna have an OG26 outing and a 05S9D outing in June and I'm sooo looking forward to it! Can't wait! I'll be having school so I may not be able to organise it all and stuff... but I'll be willing to help all I can!! ^-^ Miss all of you guys! And SC people too~~
Signing off... ...
Monday, 2 May 2005
The attack of the insects!!
Insect-tuned: Wah!! Today, after I came back home, I went to my toilet. As I walked to my sink to wash my hands, I suddenly felt something under my foot and quickly retracted it in case I squashed something. When I looked down, I saw that it was a dead lizard. I screamed and ran to my mum.
Then I went out with my parents to bring this guy to dinner. We went to Holland Drive to eat, at one of the hawker-centres. Suddenly, I felt this movement on my leg. I quickly started stamping my foot on the ground and a long insect dropped out from under my pants, before it crawled away. Yuck!! ARGH.
Then, some flying insects were at the lights at another area, and the boss turned off the lights so that they would go away. Okay, so one problem solved. And another follows. The whole swarm of them came over to our area. And kept dropping onto the table in front of me. Needless to say, I freaked as they just kept dropping, mostly near me. In the end, I moved so that I was sitting extremely close to my mum.
Finally, the attack of the insects ended, and we went home after dinner. I entered the bathroom to shower, and I proceeded to take off my socks. Then guess what? There was a large flying ant on the bottom! I hopped out of the toilet immediately and asked my mum to help me get it off. Oh gosh. Horrible.
Signing off... ...
Then I went out with my parents to bring this guy to dinner. We went to Holland Drive to eat, at one of the hawker-centres. Suddenly, I felt this movement on my leg. I quickly started stamping my foot on the ground and a long insect dropped out from under my pants, before it crawled away. Yuck!! ARGH.
Then, some flying insects were at the lights at another area, and the boss turned off the lights so that they would go away. Okay, so one problem solved. And another follows. The whole swarm of them came over to our area. And kept dropping onto the table in front of me. Needless to say, I freaked as they just kept dropping, mostly near me. In the end, I moved so that I was sitting extremely close to my mum.
Finally, the attack of the insects ended, and we went home after dinner. I entered the bathroom to shower, and I proceeded to take off my socks. Then guess what? There was a large flying ant on the bottom! I hopped out of the toilet immediately and asked my mum to help me get it off. Oh gosh. Horrible.
Signing off... ...
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