Left behind

A year: It feels like it's been a million and one days since I left SC, when it's been only about a year. 366 days ago I stepped into NYJC feeling slightly apprehensive, but excited. Approximately 4 or 5 months later, I entered SP, feeling utterly freaked. Half a year I've been in SP, and all my friends (those in JC at least) have entered year 2.

Stuck: I feel stunted, still being in year 1. All of us left school at the same time, yet somehow I feel like everyone's moving ahead on a bullet train while I'm on a bus, stuck in a traffic jam. There's still the phone to communicate, but the routes and everything are different, and I can only feel like I'm moving further and further away from everyone every single day.

My brainpower's deteoriating, my determination, though stregthened during my first semester, is slowly withering now. The stress and feeling of being used by my own classmates are slowly gnawing at my patience and extinguishing my fire.

Ladder: A few weeks ago I wrote something in class about a ladder - how I felt that a lot of friends, who were once alongside me, were moving up and up the ladder, while I stop and turn back, noticing that my other friends are still below. I wondered then, whether I should continue on up or go back down to help my friends up. Since then, I still haven't made my decision, and am still stuck in the middle. The slower ones catching up with me, and the ones alongside me moving on and leaving me behind. That's _exactly_ how I feel now.

New Year: The new year is supposed to mark a new beginning, a time where you can make your decisions and resolutions and work on them- To me now, though, it's nothing more than a distraction to my studies and a reminder of how I chose the rocky road instead of the main one.

Good luck!: For those who are in JC, I wish you all good luck in the coming year in your As!! And yes, HAPPY belated NEW YEAR!


Signing off... ...