Cosplay, Work and Competence

Competence: Some people judge me cause of my grades, my results... Think I'm good... Truthfully, I don't think I am. People look at my results, make assumptions, carve their own impression of me... Without knowing me. Without taking the effort to know me.

I hate that.

I hate it when people say stuff like: "Aiyah, what cannot... You JLPT 1 leh!"

To hell with JLPT 1.

I took it, what, 2 years ago? Passed it on the DOT too. I was facing the principal of the Hiroshima Institute of Technology Polytechnic the other day, and I couldn't say a word. All I could do was smile and nod. Even when I wanted to say something I found that I didn't know how to.

I have no confidence, I have no ability.

Now, please stop with all these assumptions made from looking at my grades. It isn't just for Japanese, it's for everything. IT, school, friendships, dancing... Whatever.

Don't judge me from paper, from what you don't know.

Save your judgements for after you know me.

Please.

Class Outing: We had this outing a few days back, to gather with our friends whom were all flying to China for their overseas internship. We had a load of fun at Clarke Quay, and it was really great spending time with all of them =D We even took some photos~

For quite a few of them, I know that it was a long-awaited break from all the hassle and stress that came about from our schoolwork and projects. For me, it was a break alright, and an eye-opener.

Got to walk around Clarke Quay at night (which I've not exactly done before) and I got to walk past the street where all the clubs and pubs were... Twas interesting ^^ Clarke Quay in the morning and at night are seriously 2 extremely extremely different places.. (I should know. I used to frequent Clarke Quay a LOT in the morning)

Thank you to Eunice and Michelle for accompanying me to Spotlight before meeting up with the guys(the queue in Spotlight and looking at the stalls at PS caused us to be late though... Sorry..!!). It was nice to hang out with you guys, even if it was just a while ^_^

Cosplay Performance: Ok, I just came back from a 4 hour session with the cosplayers... I'm a backup dancer for the Hare Hare Yukai dance, and I seriously just CAN'T get it right. Maybe I've taken a break from dance for too long. My memory span is like what, 10 seconds now? @_@ ARGH! I've been practicing for the past 20min or so in front of my computer and I STILL can't keep up. And the dance segment's like only 30 seconds or something..! Oh noooooo.... I'll make myself practice and listen on the way to school and back or something.

Load of things to do: I have a TRUCKLOAD of things to do at the moment... When I met up with the cosplayers, I really saw how stressed the lot of them were, rushing not only theirs, but everyone else's costume, armour, accessories and what-nots. Dusty almost broke down, Skye was majorly stressed, Cat brought the crosses she had to do and was constantly working on it everytime we took a break, Mark was skipping work, and everyone was doing something or another, or helping someone else with something. Everyone was having a lack of sleep, everyone was going to sacrifice their sleeping time to complete what they can for the team.

Me? I've got school. At that moment it seemed a very weak excuse as to why I could not settle, at the very least, my own costume. I'm going to have to do this, one way or another.

It's just a LOAD of things these few weeks... Next Saturday is the event (in which I need to collect the costume, attach my armour, get my wig done, sew my skirt and attach the lace and get the dance right), and then Clar's graduating from his BMT on Tuesday... And so I'll probably have to find some time to spend with him. Adding to that is this dance performance I REALLY want to see on Wednesday.

And that shitload of things up there probably means that I will be squeezing any possible tiny bit of time for my FYP, and seriously, even _that_ is really screwing up big time too.

I just need to survive till the middle of January. Get all this settled. Get all this done. Properly. Nicely. Well.

Wish me luck. I need to learn to cope with less sleep. I have to. I need to.

Cosplay: Seeing the team and how everyone worked together, I'm reminded of why I've been staying in Cosplay all these years... I see now, why Andrea loves the team so much. 1/2 of them probably don't even know who I am, but I really starting to feel this fondness for them...

Am I still going to retire..? I have no idea. But then again, I'd likely have no cash to support my costume for next year... Guess I'll have to take it as it comes. I'll decide again when the time comes.


Signing off... ...
Busy

Emo Post

Tired: Now's just one of those times when I just wanna be alone, with me, myself, and a working, not-lagging computer.

One of those times when you just don't feel like dealing with anyone, not having to deal with anything... And well. Not talking.

Actually I have a lot of things I wanted to kind of blog about... But... nah.

School: Have so many things on my hands now... I have approximately a maximum of 5 and a half days a week that I can really do my projects. Approximately.

I feel like doing quite a lot of things. Play bridge, play Munchkins, play Citadels, hang out with friends, go for that Miyazaki gathering that was last week, go watch a movie with manda [sorry i couldn't go... =(], go for the activities in school, go for the dinner award presentation to see my friends get their award, chill without having all my work stuck to the back of my mind...

Wish I could juggle all my work, wish I could satisfy everyone's expectations of me.

Wish I could.

Really do.

Random Thought about Life: Everyone's life is different. What we're doing, what difficulties we're facing, what problems we have, how we are, are all different. Perhaps some are similar here and there, but some are just extremely different in nature...

You can't just apply what you feel, and how you look at things to others so easily and deem them just as important, or not as important, when the situations in which others are in are so different.

Don't you think so..?

Walk in the park: I love walking through the park, seriously. It's a nice place to think, and a nice place to observe people... Every morning I see a LOT of old folks, and not so old folks, exercising, bringing their grandchildren to walk around to observe nature, doing taichi (i think?) and of course, others just like me rushing off to school/work (though those people usually take another route and run across the road so that they get to the MRT 'faster')

In the evening, you see the younger ones in their teenage years or 20s doing their jogs, exercising, rollerblading, the younger kids walking with their friends talking about school, about games, or playing and throwing stones at each other (my leg got hit once while walking past -_-"). Sometimes you see groups playing the guitar, singing, discussing.

At night, there are still a few doing their jog, some sitting and staring at the fish, old couples sitting around and chatting, younger couples sitting around and, well, usually chatting, sometimes sitting on each other and chatting [which makes me slightly uncomfortable], and some sitting around and doing their work.

Such a lot of things moving and going on around us... The beauty of everyday life... And yet, we're usually too caught up in our own lives (or drowning in our own 'misery') that we never take the time off to observe the little things around us.

It really is a pity.


Signing off... ...