Bad... and good.

Sorry, for this entry I'm just gonna rant, so you can ignore it if you want to.

Yesterday: I've cooled down now, but I was really damn pissed and upset and frustrated yesterday. Bei Jia suggested that we could go out for dinner together after seeing Sam's soccer match, and so I agreed. I got Jeff to help and we went round telling people about it. Kevin, Peng Loong, Uncle, Li Min, Shu Xian, Bei Jia, Jeff and I were supposed to go. Dean, Kelvin and someone else, I think, were unconfirmed. Sounds like a lot of people right? Yeah. I smsed my mum and told her that I was eating dinner out and there was no need to prepare my food. Seems like I was the only one who thought it was logical to do that.

Anyway, that aside, I reached the grandstand at about 4 and the game started not soon after. Quite some time later (with no goals), Kevin, Peng Loong, Uncle, Li Min and Jeff came. I had been extra tired the whole day, and was really looking forward to going out with the OG for dinner. After they heard that Sam was not going (I heard from WX that Sam was going out for dinner with his teammates) they started to want to leave. I tried to get them to stay, and even resorted to holding onto Uncle's bag, but Kevin and Peng Loong only took that chance to run off. After Uncle and Li Min explained that they had something on, I reluctantly let them go, only to return back to my seat to face Jeff who kept saying he wanted to go home too once every few minutes. By that time, I was sick of hearing that line. But Jeff was nice. Even though he said he wanted to go home, he still stayed in the end anyway.

After the four left, we sat and waited for Dean and Bei Jia for a few hours, with Shu Xian coming in somewhere in between. Then when everyone finally got together, Bei Jia called her mum, and then came to tell us that her mum cooked her dinner already. (At that time it was already almost 8.) The place we wanted to eat dinner at was too far for Dean, so Dean didn't go. Ironically, Sam saw us and decided to abandon his teammates to go out with us. So, all those who were supposed to go (save for Jeff and I) did not go, and the one person who 'supposedly' could not go, went.

In the end, there were only the three of us left. I know Sam and Jeff wanted to go home, and I only got sadder. Since I already told my mum not to prepare my dinner, I had to settle my dinner on my own anyway. After a while, my reaction to hearing the words 'Let's go home and eat instead' changed from agitated to passive. I think Sam and Jeff noticed, and decided to accompany me for dinner. Needless to say, when I returned home, I was really upset, especially with a few certain people. But at least I learned something: Our OGLs are the best!

Today: This morning I dreaded coming to school. On top of the long day (approximately 7am to 8pm of activities) I did not really want to face my OG after yesterday. I could feel the stress returning everytime I thought about the incident. I left the house early so that I could reach school before 7, but apparently, the bus I take every morning on a normal day is the first bus. I waited from 6am to approximately 6.25 and took my normal bus in the end. During duty, I felt like an idiot following the senior around, and only carried the announcement stand to and fro. Wasn't much of a good start. Then during tutorials and lectures, I had to use all my energy to keep my eyes open. Hence, nothing went in. Even if it did it probably went in one ear and out the other.

Got bullied: I got closer to my CT, and during the one hour break I had after 'Contact time' I went with them to the library with no one else to hang out with. William had just been elected as the 'welfare rep' and somehow or another he ended up with the CNY decorations competition paper. He wanted us to discuss it, but he and Weida ganged up against me and kept bullying me. This added to the bitter feeling that was already lingering from morning/yesterday (?) and I got quite irritated. William would go off topic or start talking to some guy sitting behind him (Anirudth) and when i try to get him back on track he would say 'As the Welfare rep, I have to remind you that this is a library and you have to lower your volume' or something along those lines. And when he is actually talking about the CNY deco thing, he would always end up saying 'As the Welfare rep, I have to tell you that you, as the CT rep, have to... (can't remember the exact words, but it was something about doing the proposal for the competition)' with strong empasis on the first 4 words. Not surprisingly, we hardly got anything done.

OG outing I knew nothing of: I felt much better by the time I saw my OG again in the afternoon, and I decided not to take it to heart. However, everything surfaced again when I OVERHEARD some people in my OG talking about the 'dinner' that they were supposed to have after the Pegasus meeting. I don't know whether I was supposed to be surprised, but no one told me anything about it. Then I think Jeff asked Sam something about the outing, and Sam turned to look at me and mentioned something (which I forgot, but it was something to do with him noticing that I was pissed) and I tried to look as if I didn't understand.

Sam: I think Sam was the only one who noticed that I was upset, and tried to cheer me up. Thanks a lot ah pa!! ^^ I really really appreciate it!! You guys (OGLs) rule man!! ^^

Petanque: Wasn't a good day, adding to the fact that I had just come out of lessons on the verge of sleeping, and so I wasn't looking forward to it. Halfway through GP, my only friend from Petanque I made the week before smsed me to tell me that she was going to Toa Payoh with another classmate, so I had to go alone. I freaked because I only remembered the number of the bus to take and not the bus stop. So I trusted my peabrain and just walked to the bus stop I thought was correct. Just to make sure, I confirmed with the bus driver (after tapping my EZ link card, which was plain stupid) and then took a seat. I noticed 2 J2s in the Petanque T-shirt, and scared myself half to death when they didn't get off at the bus stop I did. I reached the place almost half-an-hour early and found no one there at all. So I loitered around the place and smsed a Petanque senior to clarify whether or not I was in the right place. After some time, people started appearing and practice started. It was thankfully more fun than I thought it'd be. Made a few new friends, and my sleepiness dissipated after a short while. My throwing was _quite_ bad today, but there was improvement, so all in all it was okay. ^^


Okay... so I've been really rattling on... sorry, yar. You may ignore this entry if you wish, but I just needed some place to let it out. Yepz. If you've been reading, thanks.


Signing off... ...