Jaded & Thankies

Jaded: Okay... It's really really sad how many people turn jaded at such a young age... It's really sad when you turn jaded and not trust anybody... I remember reading a line somewhere that said, "If someone betrays your trust, keep trusting and just be careful who you trust next time". I believe so. Just look at how many great people I know... ^^ It really is amazing how many good friends I have- Love all of them >_<

Choose: Some people choose to believe that everyone out there is out to get them, some people choose to harp on something bad coming up, on something they dread, to avoid situations.... But why? Why do that to yourself when you can choose to accept, to close your eyes and take in the cool, fresh night air that calms your entire body, to relish in what there is at the moment? To appreciate everything else that is there, just there. Things that may not be, but is.

Why not be thankful, why not look on the bright side, look on what can be best made out of it, look at the broader picture and into the future? To think from other perspectives rather than wallow in self-pity? There's a lot to learn.

Sacrifices: There will be times when everything seems to go wrong, times when everything piles up, times when you just wish time would stop and let you finish everything- When you wish the conflicting areas in your life would just come together and come to a consensus instead of driving you mad. But that will never happen. Sacrifices have to be made. Discipline has to be enforced. And no one can do that, but you.

Thanks

Dance
Seniors and Dance-mates: Thanks a million to them for helping me with my makeup, hair, outfit and whatever not~ Life-savers =^^= And also to all those (like Yating, Jennifer etc) for touching up for me before I went on, and for all the luck and tips etc- It was really great and fun to be part of the Dancesport family... Never felt that integrated before the competition.. but after that I really felt like a part of you guys... And I can actually talk to those I never really dared to talk to before- It was a really great experience and yea...... I'll never forget it. And yea...

I'll miss you guys-

Partner: For well, sending us for the lesson- And putting up with all my bad temper and impatience... Poor guy had me snapping at him almost every time. Sigh... Yeah. Anywayz, it was a short partnership but I learnt a lot ^^ Thanks.

Xiaofei: For wishing me luck and yea... Helping me out of the fix... For always looking out for me... For finding me a partner when you knew I really wanted to go for a competition and such... And always teaching and guiding me and pulling me aside to practice together... And for teaching my partner for me everytime he drove me mad... And for taking the time to go with me to look for my outfit- For accompanying me and everything despite my extremely tight schedule and stuff... You've been a really _really_ great friend. ^_^ If I forget everything about dance, I may just abt just remember the competition dinner, the dancing, and you.

Chris: For wishing me good luck and reassuring me before I left- And for sending me that sms telling me to 'leave all the assignment stuff out of my mind' for the weekend and to concentrate on the competition and to do my best- It's been great having you as a team-mate- =)


Food Bazaar
SQ: Wah. I know you've been really really stressed out and I didn't really help much... =S I apologise for all the trouble and inconvenience I brought about and yea... You did a great job =) The gross profit was very marginal but yea, at least we got the target =) Thanks for EVERYTHING you did for the food bazaar and for us and stuff... Great event chairperson =) And yes, thank you for always understanding~ ^^

Steve: Thanks for like doing almost everything for our stall... And like getting all the knives and cloth and brownies and donating the chocolate and always being at the stall and for like getting the machine for melting the chocolate, and for helping us to bring the price down and for helping me with stuff- ^^

Clar: Yeah, thanks for the icing and sieve thing and yeah- ^^

People who supported: Yeah~ For those who came to buy and stuff- And yeah, I think Jon like used a lot of money ^^;; Heheh... Thankies~ =D

Projects
Chris: Gosh, I've been making you stay up late and everything recently >_<>Karen & Mich: Thanks for supporting me at my dance thing and listening to me ramble and supporting me and always being there whenever I have like panic attacks or something- And like for informing me about stuff >_< Yeah. ^^

Clar: Thank you for Rose and the Connectors and stuff- =P Even though you distracted me when I was supposed to be using Rose... -_____-" But yeah- Anyway, thanks for lending me your lappy and stuff >_<

Signing off... ...

The Baby

The baby
Stands, then
Falls, with a loud
Thud.

He cries out in
momentary Pain
then Stands again, then
Falls
Again.

3 times,
4 times,
10 times.

The baby
no longer
cries.

At each Fall,
he Stands
Again.
At each Fall,
he turns
Stronger.

Years pass, and
the baby
learns
the use of railings, and
the ability to balance.

But one day,
hands push
shove
slap, and he
Falls again.

Without any

support,

the hard contact

Hurts.

he gropes
for a railing
for an outstretched hand
for a form of support, while
flesh
hurt.

The grown baby,
back to Square 1.
---------------------------------------------
A/N: Okay, that looked quite haphazard... I think my ability to write has disappeared... -__-" Ah well. It'll have to do.


Signing off... ...

Stuffing durian,

Stress: Been extremely stressed, and my mind and body were both about to break down. Body did a force-shut down on me this morning, where I had to skip a tutorial because my head kept protesting violently everytime I stood to walk. Walking a longer distance prompted my entire body muscles to protest, as well. Good thing is that I got more rest I guess- =)

Forgotten stress: Yeah, anyway, perhaps it was because my body was a bit better, and some problems were starting to pave their way to their solutions, that my mind dug something that I had thrown aside pretty forcefully some time back. Brought my mind into a reel and into arguments that had a clear result, and whose result brought tears and confusion everywhere.

Giving and taking: I realise that there are several forms of giving and taking - One form is akin to stuffing durian down someone's throat. For example... ('A' loves durian while 'B' hates it to the core)

A: Hey, I've got some durian, let's eat some! *divides durian between the two*
B: Err, but I don't like durian...
A: You should at least try it! *pushes a section towards B*
B: *winces at the strong smell* Err, no it's alright...
A: Come on, you wouldn't know without trying! *grabs a piece and pushes it against B's lips*
B: *presses lips together*
A: *pushes it further* Come on, just try it. Trust me!
B: *relents after a while seeing no way to get out of it* *swallows with difficulty*
A: *grins* See? That ain't so bad, right?
B: *thinks: Urgh*
A: Here! Try another! *stuffs another piece into B's mouth*
B: *thinks: Gosh, there's some more??*
A: *stuffs*
B: *gives up totally and relents*
A: *stuffs till almost whole durian is gone* See? I told you it was good! *grins*
B: *feels like puking*

See, that's the case where there's no argument as to who should have given way. Yet, many a time cases turn out this way instead. Sad, really...

Dance: Gonna be heading for JB on Friday... >_< Please wish me luck and pray for me. I'll need it.

Signing off... ...

Screw-up and apologies

Screw-up: Right. Wonderful. Been screwing everything single little aspect of my life up. Disappointing everyone, I think. And myself. Been so lost and everything recently. I guess the saying "You can't make everyone happy" is right. Screwed up stuff with Clar, pretty much neglected 'Manda (esp the yukata thing), screwing up dance, neglecting my family... Screwing up my schoolwork, screwing up club stuff, screwing myself up.

Apologies: The biggest apology I have to make is to Manda... Like taking so long to reply your smses... And for sometimes not even replying/smsing for a day. For not being able to be there at the point when you needed to talk... For not being able to keep to the promise that I'll do the yukata thing... And... yeah... etc... And of course, to clar... for, well. You know what, I suppose.


Signing off... ...
Tired...